Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

Ready… April 30, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 11:33 am

After posting that last blog, I went through and read several blogs and realized that at this time, I’m ready to move on.  It’s becoming a site wide issue right now and from what the Admin said, they have NO CLUE how to fix it.  So not only am I moving on, but I am here to say I encourage any of you who are thinking of going to go — enough is ENOUGH.  I’ve moved over to Blogger.  My link is:  http://searchingforjewlz.blogspot.com/  I will say that I tried Tumblr for a bit, but I believe it’s more for the artsy stuff.  So, I will continue to follow some blogs there, but I deleted my blog… which was literally one or two posts saying how frustrated I was with 3FC.  I WILL continue to post here until everyone gets use to the new blog but it will be the link to my new blog.  I hope many of you out there will follow me — like incontrol, unskinny, more than just a girl, etc.  I miss you all and I HATE that I can’t comment and be supportive!  But if you move over, I can!  take care ladies!

 

Don’t know what to do…

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 10:03 am

With Myself!  LOL  I really don’t… you see, my youngest has slept through the night the last two nights and I don’t think my body knows what to do with itself getting so much rest.  I think I got about 7hrs. the first night and then a full 8 last night.  When you aren’t use to it, it’s strange!  But I wonder if we have figured it out… You see, I kept wondering why he slept SO well when my Mom and Dad were here.  It just made no sense.  Then Friday night I let the boys stay up late since it was well the weekend!  Plus, we’re just about on Summer hours here now… I mean, it’s not dark until after 8 so it’s REALLY hard to put the kiddos to bed when it’s light out.  It’s like they know the sun is still out so they want to be, too.  It can be a pain.  Anyways, I let them stay up later than normal and he slept through.  Sat. they got to stay up a bit later, but not too late and again he did ok… I think he got up once.  Last night, I let him stay up a smidge past 9 and he slept through again!

Here’s my theory — I’m starting to think that sleep cycles can’t just be learned.  I think part of them are just our natural way to work.  You see, I’m a night owl and don’t function well in the AM.  I’m just not a morning person.  I get up fine (we got up at 8AM today) but I’m just not super productive quickly.  I’m the most productive after lunch.  I get up and get breakfast going and check my mail and get on here, but other than that I don’t do much.  But once I get going I have a hard time stopping until fairly late.  Then I need quiet time to myself to wind down.  I’m starting to think my youngest is like me.  By letting him stay up a bit later it’s like he’s winding down and then sleeps better.  I think that is just his circadian rhythm.  I’ve been reading on it simply because I was trying to avoid meds, but I know that I am in desperate need of sleep.  Which now that I am getting, I’m not sure what to do with!  LOL  I’m usually running on much less.  But my point is, I am wondering now if this is really what his issue is?  I’m going to keep up with the later bedtime for him which shouldn’t be an issue for a while because school here will be letting out soon (3 weeks).  So, I won’t have to worry about it affecting my oldest.  Although, he goes to bed at 8:30 so it’s not a huge difference.  We did earlier before but he was getting up too early.  So, we let him have an extra 30mins. and now even on his days off, he gets up at or before 7.  Which is fine by me.  :)

But now after reading all this, I am really starting to worry about my husband.  Over the last year, his body is showing signs of distress.  I don’t think even HE knows it.  He just knows he doesn’t feel great, has a lack of energy, and isn’t as productive as he was at one time.  Originally he blamed the weather and his health issues (he has severe sinus issues here in East TN).  But after reading about sleep and how it affects us, I’m starting to think he is suffering from a mild sleep disorder from working a rotating schedule.  I think I will talk to him about it later.  I haven’t done any in-depth research, but so far what I’ve read is giving me cause for concern.  I really do see a big change coming in our future.  I really hope that God will show us where he wants us to be to be healthy, happy, and productive people.  Cause right now, we’re not at full potential.  And it’s hard to help others when you’re ‘drowning’ in your own yucks.  Know what I mean?

Speaking of yucks… my weight was 192 this AM.  I was a bit surprised but not completely.  We did eat out yesterday.  I had two of the beef sliders and some fries and coffee.  Yes, coffee.  Just not into soda like I was.  Anyways, that and half of a cupcake are all I really had plus a light breakfast and dinner.  But like I said yesterday, I should start my cycle soon.  I am hoping that my weight is just creeping up like it does for that.  Need lots of water and to be on it this week.  I’d really like to see the 180’s for my final weigh-in for the month of April on Sunday, but not sure if I will since I’ll probably have my cycle.  I am glad that my ‘high’ right now is the low 190’s versus the middle.  I am not, however, happy that I have not been working out like I should.  UGH.  I keep meaning to.  I need to make more time.  I just keep putting it off when we have so many other things going on.  And I know it’s important.  Especially Pilates.  I have a whole rant about that too after reading a blog on here… Maybe I should put that in another blog since this one is probably already getting pretty long!  LOL

Allllllllrighty then!  I’m going to jump off of here for now.  Not sure what to do with my day, but I’m sure I need to do something.  Probably some work outside later if the weather cooperates but that is about it.  Take care chicks and have a great week!

 

Blargh April 29, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 10:05 am

Sooo…. I tried to open a new blog yesterday only to have the same issue as I have when trying to comment.  It just blanked out.  :/  So, not only is THIS blog not working right, but I can’t open a NEW blog either.  I don’t get what the issue is and I’m irritated.  Mostly because there is nothing I can do and nothing anyone else can do.

My weight this AM is 191.0.  I’m a bit bummed by that because I did so great all week and I really thought I’d see 18something on the scale.  BUT… I should be starting my cycle in a couple of days and my sleep has been off so I shouldn’t be too surprised.  But I am a bit bummed.  *sigh*  All in due time!  At least I am having a period and it’s on track.  There was a long time I didn’t so I’m actually really thankful to have one.

On a good note, I posted some pics from our ATL weekend and got really good responses on my FB page.  I DO feel like I look pretty good!  So, that makes the blow of not losing this week a bit better.  LOL  I wonder if I could get the pic to upload here?  Maybe I will try here in a min…

Not much to talk about today.  It’s my hubby’s b-day so he wants to go out at some point, not sure if we are going to go to Gigi’s for cupcakes or make a cake.  Later, we’re going to do a campfire so that should be fun… and burn cals since the stuff we have to burn is all brush so I need to be up constantly cutting and adding fuel. So, it works out for me!  LOL  Glad I got a good chunk of my housework knocked out other than laundry which I meant to work on yesterday, but just never got to.  Thankfully there isn’t much, but I still want to do some when I can… probably tomorrow!

I guess that’s it ladies.  I will try to add my pic now and hope it works!  Have a good Sunday!

***  Tried to add a pic, but like everything else, it isn’t working.  Boo.  :/

 

Heyyyyy…. April 28, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 11:22 am

OK, so I heard back from ‘Suzanne’ this AM.  Turns out that whatever the issue is, it’s VERY random and they can’t just fix one blog or another.  :/  It’s like it’s some sort of programming glitch that has just popped up.  She said at this time, I’d probably be better off either exporting all of my blogs out to a new blog location or even opening a new blog here.  I very well may do that!  That way I could still stay but I would be under a new title.  Hmmm… Maybe Searching for Jewlz.  TEEHEE!

My weight this AM is 191.0.  I’m thinking it’s from the yard work I did yesterday.  I plan on taking it somewhat easy today and just working around the house.  I would work outside, but my official weigh in is tomorrow and I don’t want to overdo it and my muscles get all swollen up.  Plus… hubby is off tomorrow and I think that I could work on some other project today and then have the majority of tomorrow afternoon to work on the yard!  :D  I’d really like to finish cleaning up some of the brush and then cutting more to dry.  I also need to try to go to HD at some point for some brush killer.  Someone planted English Ivy in the house behind us that is catty corner to our property.  It has gotten out of control and spread through their fence, through the passageway, and then all over the back corner.  I need to kill it off or it will spread just as bad as poison ivy and that Virginia creeper.  I’ve been pulling that stuff out like crazy!!!  But English Ivy is VERY hard to kill.  But I will confess…. I plan on keeping some for house plants.  LOL  They do well in or out and well, I’d like some free plants!  AND, I’d like to look at some bushes/plants for the side yard while I am there and the border blocks.  The neighbors landscaping company ran over part of our flower bed so we have decided to put up a pretty substantial border.  Part of which will be used to help resupport the section of our yard that seems to be sliding.  I can’t think of what that is called right now… BRAIN FART.  But the border part will also help to keep out weeds and keep our pine needles in.  I just wish I could find the right plants for that area… it’s in a lot of shade.

Anyways, not sure what to work on in the house today other than my regular housework.  I know I need to work on a project, but not sure WHICH project to do.  I am thinking maybe some sanding in the bathroom or some paint in the hall…  I’d really like to get some painting done since there is still so much of it to do.  AND, if my hall were finished, then I could hang up the pics that have been needing to be hung for forever now.  So much to do.  I’ll get it done just in time to move, I’m sure.  I never did work out formally the last few days but I have kept busy and I plan on doing the same today.  I may try to fit in a workout though.  I could do some sanding and try the stain out that I wanted to in the bathroom (for the nicks in the wood) and then workout during nap…  hmmm….

I’ve been pretty good on food the last few days.  Been having a lighter breakfast, good lunch and snack, nice dinners and little to no late snack/dessert.  Although yesterday my ‘dessert’ was Hot & Spicey Cheez-its.  NOM NOM.  I’m afraid I ate too many, but I’m not going to freak.  I had a good dinner so no point in freaking.  I sure got in a lot of fruit and veggies yesterday, too.  I think I had more than normal.  There were some raisins at breakfast, an apple, tomato and lettuce at lunch, figs at snack, and then green beans and potatoes at dinner.  I think there was fruit or veggie in pretty much everything I ate!  Except the Cheeze-its.  LOL  And come to think of it, I had put a bit of grape juice in my diet lemon lime so there was sorta fruit in that, too!  Although I don’t normally count juice since it has so much sugar in it.  I wasn’t even trying for that, but it’s still pretty cool.  :D

My breakfast was higher than normal this AM.  I had a blueberry bagel with PB and a drizzle of honey.  I’d say not too far over since I know I didn’t use 2 full tbsps. of pb and not even a whole thing of honey.  But it was exactly what I wanted and so good!  I just wish they made the blueberry ones in the thins.  I like the thins so much better!  I’m not sure why… I just do.  I eat the cinnamon raisin ones quite a bit, but I had really wanted the blueberry this AM.

Well, I should stop rambling and get on with my day.  Although, the kids are acting batty so I’m not sure how much I will actually be able to get done.  I may just have to roll with it and do what I can.  I’d love to go through and do another toy purge… I just did one not too long ago, but it just seems like the toys have taken over recently… UGH.  I may try to at least go back through the living room ones and maybe oldest’s room since he is about to get a room makeover.  :D  OK, have a great day ladies and a great weekend!

 

Support April 27, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 11:56 am

Thanks ladies for all of your support!  I am super over all this and do NOT understand why it is only MY blog that seems to be still having issues.  Although, who knows who else is having issues since they more than likely can’t comment!  I’ve sent my second email this week and have yet to hear anything back.  But since I can’t comment on blogs, the least I can do is respond to comments!  LOL

* incontrol2day — I’m really not all that busy… I mean, I am but I’m not.  I try to stay busy most of the time because when I’m busy, I’m happy.  I do like downtime, but when I feel productive I feel really happy.  I guess because when I feel useful, it’s hard to not feel good and keep moving forward!

* pepagirl — Yeah… I most definitely worry about the kids being terrors, so I guess that’s why I’m so hard.  But it really worries me that youngest tries to be a brute when he wants his way.  It’s like, if all else fails, brute force!  And after hours and hours of it, it becomes hard to be ‘easy’ about it.  I try to keep my temper and irritation in check, but sometimes he is just so darn rough!  UGH.  I guess we are all still learning every day.  As for the bench, it’s an open bench — like you’d see in someone’s foyer or at a dining table.  It’s pretty old so I wouldn’t want to put it outside.  I’m just not sure what to do with it.  If our foyer were literally only inches larger, it would work.  :/

* unskinny — I HATE not being able to comment!  I think that the commenting is as helpful if not more so than the actual blogging for me.  I do well with a ‘group’ mentality and since so many of us all comment/read the same blogs it’s been a great support for me.  Many times when I am down I can read someone else’s blog and because I want to be supportive, just thinking of the positive things to say to someone else helps me snap out of whatever funk I’m in.  But right now, I feel really separated.  Although, I gotta say that responding to comments is nice!

* dysfunctionalbarbie — I wish it was a virus!  That I could fix.  But I’ve checked and had my hubby check and then I’ve also seen several other blogs with the same issues.  And when I wrote to support the 3rd or 4th time, I finally got a response from a ‘Suzanne’ that said it was a site wide issue but that it was random.  So, not everyone was affected but many people were.  It’s annoying to say the least.  I just hope they fix it soon!!!  I keep threatening to leave (on here, not to anyone else lol) but I just love this site and I hate to leave… it really fits my needs the best!  But I don’t know what else to do at this point!!!

Well, I think that was everyone.  :)  Kinda fun doing that and helpful.  Maybe I’ll keep doing it that way at least until I can comment again.

My weight this AM was 190 flat.  Which is nice — I really hope it is back under 190 for my Sunday weigh-in.  I’d like to mark a line right through that little goal!  TEEHEE!  But if it doesn’t happen, I’ll just keep going on.  That is the conclusion that I have come to over the last few months.  I know I’ve said it before, but it’s really hitting home with me the last few days.  Maybe cause we had a fantastic weekend out and my weight is still good… maybe I’m feeling like this is really the way to go for me and that I can’t give up even if it isn’t fast or what works for others.  It IS working for me and I AM making progress.  And really, progress is what its about.  I don’t think I will ever have a models body or be ’skinny’, but I do think I can be healthier and happier and just overall feel good.  And I DO!  I realized that over the weekend.  I did take a couple of pics and I really should post those.  But I ALSO saw some pics a friend posted from when he was here and I was shocked that I looked as good as I did!  Usually, I hate the way I look in photos and I looked really good in these!  Am I still a bit chunka munk?  Yeah.  But do I look SO much better than I did?  OH YEAH!  :D

So, overall I’m just trying to stay busy, stay positive, and keep moving forward.  I hope I can keep it up.  Especially when I am SO tired!  I’m really at a loss as to how to fix the issue, but I hate being so worn out all the time.  BLEH.  Even if I go to bed early, youngest gets up about 30mins. after I lay down.  I’ve tried going to bed at 11 and he’s up before 12.  If I go to bed later, he’s up at about 1.  Last night was 12:30ish, 3, 5, 6:40, and a little after 7.  But he only woke up and whined and went back to sleep at 7.  The other times were bottle, diaper and bottle, then bottle, and just whining (which I told him to hush it was night night and he got quiet until after 7).  It’s wearing me out.  It doesn’t help to get up right away or to try to let him cry it out.  So, I’m at a loss.  Someone asked me the other day if he was teething.  Nope.  He has them all.  Night terrors?  Nope — he wants a bottle and/or diaper change.  UGH.  AND, he slept great while we were gone.  He only seems to do it when I am not here.  I am really considering melatonin.  I’m at my last straw at this point.

I guess that is all for now.  I WILL say I got a lot done yesterday!  I even sanded that section of wall in the bathroom like I had been wanting to do after I put the boys down.  I also straightened up our bedroom, took down some laundry, and cleaned the kitchen.  Today I hope to dust and maybe vacuum.  I really should scrub the tub in the bathroom… maybe I’ll do that and just vacuum and leave dusting for tomorrow.  I also need to get a cake mix cause I want to make my Mom a cake and my hubby — both of their b-days are this weekend!  But I need to check and see if my Mom and Dad are coming up or if we are going down there.  I hate using a mix, but my Mom doesn’t like scratch cakes.  *sigh*  I’m not sure why.  Everyone else says my cakes are GREAT, but she says she likes the box mixes better.  Kinda makes me sad!  Anyways, if that’s what she wants, that’s what she’ll get!  So, I need to do that and… hey!  The sun just came out!!!  Maybe I can go and get some outside stuff done today.  I’m not sure if I should clear and burn some brush or if I should go and get the border blocks to start on the side yard…. Guess I should check our account and see how many border blocks I could do…

Ok, off and at it!  I hope!  LOL

 

Still waiting… April 26, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 12:39 pm

Hey ladies and gents… if there are gents!  LOL  I am back and finally going enough to type up a blog.  I’ve had a few ‘down’ days and am just now starting to feel back to normal.  I think I had PMS.  I was irritable, tired, and HUNGRY.  It sorta was driving me nuts to be honest.  Cranky and fussy kids didn’t help any!  My youngest has been a terror and it hit me the other day he’s probably in the Terrible Two’s already.  They say it really starts at around 18mos.  Our oldest never really went through that… 3 was his miserable time!  I remember days of tantrums back to back that lasted more than half an hour.  UGH.  But youngest… he’s having it out now!  I had to literally pull him off my oldest yesterday and when I went to put him in his chair I think I was too rough and made him bump his head.  He cried, but I’m not sure if I hurt him or if he was just mad.  I think just mad cause he kept pointing to the other chair like ‘MINE!’  He is SO possessive over things now!  And those things aren’t even his.  It’s a pain!  I don’t try to be too rough with him, but he’s just so much… I can’t even think of the word.  He’s really so much more of a brute than my oldest and unfortunately, I have to be rougher.  I really try not to be, but what else can I do when he’s sitting on my other one and essentially beating him up?  He had a hold of him and just was being MEAN!  I literally grabbed him up by the hair to get him to let go and then picked him up and said, “NO.  THIS is your chair.  No fighting over brother’s chair.”  I’m sure he doesn’t understand but I still try to tell him so that as he gets older it’s clear.  I finally got tired of fussing and put him in his ‘pen’.  He spent a LOT of time in his playpen yesterday in time out.  He was hitting and screaming and fighting every couple of minutes and I just couldn’t take it anymore.  And did I mention he went in his room and pulled EVERYTHING out of the bottom of his closet and then after we busted him for that he went right back in and started trying to do the same to his dresser.  GRRRR!!!!  He’s frying my nerves to bits and I am at a loss as to what to do other than putting him in time out every single time.  And so far, that is what I am resorting too because I hate to have to spank him so much.  Time out is two fold, too.  It gives him time to calm down AND removes him from the situation.  He’s pushing me right now because he knows I’m on here.  But this is really the only time I can blog… I’m too tired at night and then in a bit both kids will be here.  So, morning works better even if it takes me a while of going back and forth.

I didn’t work out this last week… but I did do a TON of walking while in the ATL.  We had SUCH a good time but I do wonder if us being gone is why younger is being a pain.  I think the Grands might have let them get away with too much!  But oh well, as long as I can push through this and the PMS, I think we’ll come out the other side.  Me panicky that I am too rough or was too mean and them hopefully chilled out and ready to be somewhat better.  LOL  And that is something we talked about over the weekend.  The first night there we just ummm…. spent time together and went out to a nice dinner at Cheesecake Factory.  We skipped apps, split dinner, and then had our own desserts, but only ate half.  Oh, and one drink each and water.  :D  The next day was breakfast out which ended up being free.  We literally spent the entire day in Ikea bouncing ideas around, measuring and using the putes, and picking out a few things.  That night, we went to Eclipse de Luna and it was AMAZING!  Yummy Sangria, a great live band and AMAZING tapas!  NOM NOM NOM.  Believe it or not, Sunday we went back to Ikea.  This time to pick up the furniture and things.  Pretty awesome!  Can’t wait to get everything in where it goes.  :)  We just had coffee and cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then Ikea Cafe for lunch.  Oh man, I love me some Swedish Meatballs!!!!  And the salad was so good and fresh!  I was surprised.  So, we had some downtime, got to sleep in and do some shopping, and we got to sit and have some conversations about life, school, work, and kids.  I told my hubby I was worried I was too rough with the kids at times but that I try to be pretty even keeled.  I try to not over-react and try to just handle it in a way in which if I were an outsider looking in or even my own mother, would I be proud of the way I handled it?  I can say that many times I am not, but there are many times I am.  It’s a hard balancing act.  BLEH.  He said he felt the same.  But I think after talking about that and his school and work, we feel more in sync again and I am hoping that we will stay on track.  It feels good to feel like we are back in line.  Now if I can only get over PMS.  I’m hoping that it’s gone… I feel better today and even yesterday I wasn’t a stark raving mad pig!  LOL

I think overall, I’m doing ok.  I DID weigh-in this AM and I was at 190.5.  I’ll take it.  LOL  I just hope that it is back under 190 by Sunday, which it may not be.  Because right after PMS is the real deal.  :/  SO, I just hope I get a good weight and then let it do it’s thing.  I hope to get in a workout later along with doing some housework.  I need to get back into the habit of working on a project every day.  I am right now trying to figure out what to work on today.  I was going to try to do some painting, but it’s rainy out and usually when the humidity is up, it’s a pain to paint.  So, now I am trying to think of something else to do.  I am really thinking of working downstairs in the study.  I also need to do some listings on Craigs, but I can do that later tonight.  I have GOT to get rid of some of these items laying around.  They are just taking up space and I desperately want that space back.  The bad thing is, I have one bench that my Mom bought me that really should go.  I like the bench, but it is taking up space and I have an older bench that I would rather use.  But I feel bad getting rid of it because she bought it for my foyer but it was too large for that area.  SO, I put it in my bedroom and I’ve really liked it there but now we need a new home for the older bench and that seems the most likely spot.  But I just don’t know if I will like it there.  I wish it was a bit smaller so I could use it in the foyer!  AARGH!  I don’t want to part with either one, but I’m not sure I have much choice.  I also have two rockers — one regular and one a springer style.  I love them both but I don’t have enough room for both.  What do you do when you have furniture you don’t want to get rid of?  I don’t think we have the money to pay for a storage rental….  *sigh*  It would be different if both rockers didn’t have meaning… one was my Mom’s and the other my Granny’s.  AARGH.  Maybe what I should do is re-arrange our bedroom and just see if one of the rockers could sit in the corner in there before I make up my mind.  That way the other could stay downstairs.  Not sure about the benches still.  I guess we will have to see.  I know the one bench comes apart and could be stored for later if need be.  Hmmm….

Oh, and just in case anyone is wondering, I am STILL waiting on them to fix my account.  Out of everyone on here, I believe mine has been messed up the longest.  I have surpassed weeks and have moved on to months now.  I heard once from ‘Suzanne’ but have yet to hear another word.  But still, I can’t sign in directly to my account and can’t comment on people’s blogs.  I read and then do a ‘test’ comment, but it goes to a blank page.  So, I’m sorry my friends for not being able to support you the way I would like.  But I tell you, I’m just about done here.  I’ve said it before, but now I know my hubby will help me to transfer all of my things and I’m just about ready to do it.  I just don’t know WHY they can’t fix this.  It’s stupid and should have been done a long time ago!  I hate to sound so rude and negative about it, but COME ON!!!!

Well, I need to quit rambling on and on.  I need to get changed and go pick up oldest, then come home and help him with school work and do some housework.  AND, decide on some project to work on.  Maybe something downstairs.  Lots of things to do, just need to decide on one and do it.  Probably should work in the bathroom since it is a mess anyways!  LOL  OK, onwards and off!

 

Another day… April 18, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 9:33 pm

Had a small heart attack this AM.  I got on the scale and it said 186.5 and then 187.  I nearly fell over!  I was like, OK, something is wrong here.  No WAY did I lose that kind of weight overnight and I KNOW I couldn’t have been THAT low the day before!  So, I turned the scale off and tried again.  189.5.  YAY!  I was happy to still be 189.5.  187 would be great, but I don’t like seeing numbers that change.  And since I was pretty sure it was a false number, I knew it would be higher and lead to disappointment.  Know what I mean?  I’d rather just have a steady number going down and not big jumps unless I really earned that big jump.

I hope I didn’t mess it up today… we went to a new restaurant and I decided to have blueberry pancakes.  I didn’t have the butter and I gave most of the whipped cream to hubby but I did use real syrup and I did eat a few bites of other things.  I had about 1.5 of the 3 pancakes and they were SO good!  But then we did a ton of walking and I missed ‘lunch’.  So at snack time, I had my lunch which was some strawberries, a small hand full of Doritos, and a PB and honey sandwich with coffee.  It was about 350 cals.  I’m hoping between no snack and all the walking that my cals are balanced out.  And since I had a meal instead of snack, I’m thinking that I didn’t go too far under, either.  Not sure what’s for dinner… maybe casserole.  Crap… need to start that AND need to charge lappy.  Be back later!

Mmm…. good casserole and LOTS of veggies!  I had gotten these boxed potato things and then after buying it to use for a quick side, I didn’t know what else to use it for.  SO, I made it into a casserole!  I added a couple of cans of chunk chicken, a bunch of broccoli, corn, and some black beans.  YUM YUM!  One serving was only 300 cals!  :D  I added a few oyster crackers on top and DELISH!  Fast, easy, and pretty darn healthy since the only thing really processed was the boxed potatoes.  I should’ve made a small salad to go with!!!  :O  That would’ve made it even better.  I love salad!

And now what am I doing?  Sitting on the couch listening to ‘Dirty Dancing’ playing on Netflix and waiting for my hair to process.  Yes, I’m coloring my hair.  I’m really diggin’ this dark brown hair right now.  I did think of highlighting it again, but I decided against it before taking this trip.  If I do it, it will be after our little trip.  I’d hate to mess it up and be stuck with it right before we go.  Although now it’s suppose to rain all weekend.  BOO.  But I am still looking forward to going.  :D

Well, I guess I should tie this up and get going.  I need to rinse my hair soon and then shower/shave a bit.  Then I need to relax.  I get to see some old friends tomorrow so I am excited about that.  I may not be able to write for the next few days, but I will be back!  Have a good one ladies!  :D

 

Nothing

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 6:17 pm

Nothing new here… except I hit 189.5 this AM!!!  WOOT!  I’m pretty sure I was lower than that yesterday, but I didn’t weigh!!  And last night, I had pizza and wine, so I’m pretty positive I was a smidge lower yesterday.  :D  I’m a happy gal right now!  I stuck it out and let go of the negativity and my body let go of the pounds!  YEE HAW!  Now, just need to keep it up until my ‘official’ weigh in.  The only issue is… I won’t be here!  We’re going on a little couple’s retreat this weekend, so I won’t be here to weigh!  I know I want to do well up until we go and only have a couple of my fave meals while we are down there.  I mean, I don’t have to eat like a pig to have a good time.  I can have what I want, just in smaller portions.  Actually going to talk to the hubby about splitting meals to not only save on cals, but on money, too!  One place we really want to go is the Cheesecake Factory!  We don’t have one here so we try to go when we are near one… which is maybe once every couple of years.  :O  But I don’t want to blow all my hard work just for food… ya know?  I’m really the most excited about Ikea!  OH!!!!  IKEA!!!!  LOL  And of course, spending some quality time with my honey… we desperately need it!

Although, the last couple of days have been a good balm to our marriage.  I think I was so messed up from lack of sleep it was eeking into everything and I was starting to really doubt my marriage.  We’ve had rough spots before, but this was… weird.  I just felt like everything was over like there was impending doom.  And honestly, I’m not sure where it came from.  But we had a good long talk and snuggle the night before last and then hung out with another couple last night and things are feeling much better.  I think we were just letting everything get to us and it was really affecting me in my weakened lack of sleep state.  Because as of yesterday and today, I’m feeling much more level.  I have to keep that in mind for the future — extreme lack of sleep makes me weird and depressed and all emo… and I hate it!!!  HATE IT!  So, I need to be more aware of that in the future and when I feel that way I need to address it and not do my typical wife/Mom thing and say, “I’m fine.” When clearly, I’m not ‘fine’.

So far today, I’ve been a somewhat lazy gal!  I haven’t done much of anything and that is ok since yesterday I was uber productive!  I paid bills, finally got our taxes in, dropped off the water bill, paid the car payment, got my hair cut, did some more shopping… then bathed both kiddos and clipped fingernails/toenails.  ALL before the company!  So, yesterday was quite busy and I’m sorta taking it easy today.  I have done my nails and toenails, made some calls, and done some research.  BUSY BUSY!

 

Mess April 16, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 4:01 pm

People, first I need to say thank you SO much for being so supportive.  Second, let me say that I am SO sorry I can’t comment, yet!  AARGH!  This is driving me nuts.  It is!  Lastly… sleep deprivation is making me a mess.  An absolute mess!  Did I mention I caved the other day and gave youngest a bottle?  And I’m not sad I did.  I also caved and took a nap yesterday afternoon.  I needed it to try to regain my sanity.  I was getting all weird and emo and well… that isn’t me.  So, I felt I needed and deserved that nap.  Believe it or not, it helped — A LOT.  And then miracle of miracles… YOUNGEST SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT LAST NIGHT!  Now, this has happened before so I’m not going to get too darn excited, but I am HOPING this is his new schedule.  I can get up a bit earlier in the AM if I can sleep straight through the night!  Especially since I already get up at about 6:20 to get oldest up and off to school.  I normally go back to bed and it takes me a while to fall asleep, so I get maybe one more hour.  I would gladly give up that hour to sleep straight through.  Quality over quantity really does matter!  LOL

I didn’t weigh this AM, though.  I probably should have!  LOL  But I didn’t.  I will try to remember to do it tomorrow before I gulp a bunch of water.  I woke up thirsty and immediately started drinking a big glass of water and then realized that not only had I drunk water but I was also dressed, and hadn’t weighed.  Then I was like, screw it!  I’m not getting undressed to do it now!  LOL  Not that it’s a big deal… I only do it for tracking.  So, it’s not going to hurt anything.  Plus, I think I might need to not look at it all the time… keep myself from getting too stuck on the numbers.  Because after looking back on the last week, I know I’ve done the right thing as far as food goes, but I got all emo from lack of sleep and other stress.  And you know what?  Not worth it.  I know I’m going the right direction and I have got to STOP worrying so much and just keep going.  But I was letting other things/people get into my head.  This is my path and it’s a good one and I’m going to keep to it.

The only thing I need to be doing more regularly is exercise.  It’s always the first thing I let go when things get hectic and when I feel tired.  I keep up with everything else, but I let that go.  Watching my food is easy for me, but the exercise thing is a chore.  And I need to find a way to get past that and get it in more often.  I think a big part of it is that I find excuses for all of my time.  I have a hard time being ok with using nap time or ‘quiet time’ to workout.  I feel like I should use that time for other things that I can’t do when younger is awake.  So, I am trying to devise a way to workout with him up.  Right now, my treadmill is in the garage.  The playroom is next to it.  I am trying to devise a way to workout while younger is awake and I am thinking that now that we aren’t using one of the gates upstairs, I will put it downstairs.  That would allow me to block the stairs but also leave the garage door open with a gate in it so I can workout without worrying about the little one getting hurt on it.  And with the door open, I can watch him in the playroom.  :)  I’m liking this plan… a lot!  I’ve been doing the Pilates with them in here… so it would be nice if I could do the other, too!  :D

You see what sleep does?  I feel so much happier and motivated… sleep deprivation just messes me up something terrible and makes me a weird person.  I don’t like weird Jewlz… she’s disturbing!  :O  And she gets on my nerves.  I hope she stays gone for a while.  LOL  Although, sleep deprived Jewlz did get an amazing amount of work done on the house in the last two days.  I have some errands to run later, but that’s ok since the vast majority of the house is in great shape.  I do have a couple of projects I want to work on later.  I started one but didn’t finish it because I wanted to build it up.  So, it needs it’s second thing today.  But all the housework is done other than maybe some dry dusting of the floors and mopping.  But that’s not a huge deal.  I may do a quick dry dust and then a quick mop but not a steam.  It’s not too terribly bad since I’ve been trying to do a quick mop as often as possible.

*** Ok, it’s late afternoon now and I’m back from running a ton of errands like paying bills and getting a hair cut and… shopping!  People — I bought red capri’s!  Dark red!  :O  I totally dig them.  Really!  I don’t know what possessed me, but I love them!  All I have left on my ‘To Do’ list is to send in my taxes (yes, I procrastinated this year!  :O So unlike me on that!) and something else, but I can’t remember what!  But overall, I’ve gotten a lot done and it’s been nice.  I just wish I could remember what else is was that I was suppose to do… UGH.  Brain dead!  Anyways, just wanted to say it was a good and productive day and hopefully my slump is over.  Have a great week everyone!

 

Sad April 15, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 10:05 am

My weigh-in for this week is 190.  I’m happy about that but mad at the same time that I didn’t get to the 180’s.  I’ve been the same weight for the last few days and it’s frustrating.

I’m sad this AM.  I just feel out of whack and out of place and I don’t know why or how to fix it.  But it’s an overwhelming feeling and I just feel like crying.  I actually AM crying but it doesn’t seem to be giving me any release or relief like I had hoped.  I’m not sure what is wrong with me, but I am needing some sort of break or something.  Actually thinking of going to visit some family to get out today, but I am not sure if that is a good idea with me being so emotional.  And the thing is, I have no reason as far as hormones go to be so emotional.  I’m not pregnant, I don’t have PMS, and it’s not even remotely close to my cycle.  I am not sure what is wrong, but things just feel so off and I somewhat feel… trapped.  Trapped by emotions that I just can’t deal with.

On a good note, yesterday was pretty darn productive.  I was able to get a lot done and that is another reason why I sorta just want to stay home…. I hope to get more done today.  I’d like to do another layer to the project I started yesterday and do another small project.  Finish up and do some more housework and then take the kiddos out to play in the yard.  I guess that answers my question of going anywhere.  I guess I’ll just stay here and get more done.  Well, if the kiddos will let me.  Maybe we’ll go out here in a minute to burn off some extra energy so that they will behave… LOL  That sure would be nice.  I will wing it once I get off of here and figure out what I want to get done.

Ok, that’s it for today.  Not sure what else to say…  Have a good day ladies.

 

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