Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

Support April 27, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 11:56 am

Thanks ladies for all of your support!  I am super over all this and do NOT understand why it is only MY blog that seems to be still having issues.  Although, who knows who else is having issues since they more than likely can’t comment!  I’ve sent my second email this week and have yet to hear anything back.  But since I can’t comment on blogs, the least I can do is respond to comments!  LOL

* incontrol2day — I’m really not all that busy… I mean, I am but I’m not.  I try to stay busy most of the time because when I’m busy, I’m happy.  I do like downtime, but when I feel productive I feel really happy.  I guess because when I feel useful, it’s hard to not feel good and keep moving forward!

* pepagirl — Yeah… I most definitely worry about the kids being terrors, so I guess that’s why I’m so hard.  But it really worries me that youngest tries to be a brute when he wants his way.  It’s like, if all else fails, brute force!  And after hours and hours of it, it becomes hard to be ‘easy’ about it.  I try to keep my temper and irritation in check, but sometimes he is just so darn rough!  UGH.  I guess we are all still learning every day.  As for the bench, it’s an open bench — like you’d see in someone’s foyer or at a dining table.  It’s pretty old so I wouldn’t want to put it outside.  I’m just not sure what to do with it.  If our foyer were literally only inches larger, it would work.  :/

* unskinny — I HATE not being able to comment!  I think that the commenting is as helpful if not more so than the actual blogging for me.  I do well with a ‘group’ mentality and since so many of us all comment/read the same blogs it’s been a great support for me.  Many times when I am down I can read someone else’s blog and because I want to be supportive, just thinking of the positive things to say to someone else helps me snap out of whatever funk I’m in.  But right now, I feel really separated.  Although, I gotta say that responding to comments is nice!

* dysfunctionalbarbie — I wish it was a virus!  That I could fix.  But I’ve checked and had my hubby check and then I’ve also seen several other blogs with the same issues.  And when I wrote to support the 3rd or 4th time, I finally got a response from a ‘Suzanne’ that said it was a site wide issue but that it was random.  So, not everyone was affected but many people were.  It’s annoying to say the least.  I just hope they fix it soon!!!  I keep threatening to leave (on here, not to anyone else lol) but I just love this site and I hate to leave… it really fits my needs the best!  But I don’t know what else to do at this point!!!

Well, I think that was everyone.  :)  Kinda fun doing that and helpful.  Maybe I’ll keep doing it that way at least until I can comment again.

My weight this AM was 190 flat.  Which is nice — I really hope it is back under 190 for my Sunday weigh-in.  I’d like to mark a line right through that little goal!  TEEHEE!  But if it doesn’t happen, I’ll just keep going on.  That is the conclusion that I have come to over the last few months.  I know I’ve said it before, but it’s really hitting home with me the last few days.  Maybe cause we had a fantastic weekend out and my weight is still good… maybe I’m feeling like this is really the way to go for me and that I can’t give up even if it isn’t fast or what works for others.  It IS working for me and I AM making progress.  And really, progress is what its about.  I don’t think I will ever have a models body or be ’skinny’, but I do think I can be healthier and happier and just overall feel good.  And I DO!  I realized that over the weekend.  I did take a couple of pics and I really should post those.  But I ALSO saw some pics a friend posted from when he was here and I was shocked that I looked as good as I did!  Usually, I hate the way I look in photos and I looked really good in these!  Am I still a bit chunka munk?  Yeah.  But do I look SO much better than I did?  OH YEAH!  :D

So, overall I’m just trying to stay busy, stay positive, and keep moving forward.  I hope I can keep it up.  Especially when I am SO tired!  I’m really at a loss as to how to fix the issue, but I hate being so worn out all the time.  BLEH.  Even if I go to bed early, youngest gets up about 30mins. after I lay down.  I’ve tried going to bed at 11 and he’s up before 12.  If I go to bed later, he’s up at about 1.  Last night was 12:30ish, 3, 5, 6:40, and a little after 7.  But he only woke up and whined and went back to sleep at 7.  The other times were bottle, diaper and bottle, then bottle, and just whining (which I told him to hush it was night night and he got quiet until after 7).  It’s wearing me out.  It doesn’t help to get up right away or to try to let him cry it out.  So, I’m at a loss.  Someone asked me the other day if he was teething.  Nope.  He has them all.  Night terrors?  Nope — he wants a bottle and/or diaper change.  UGH.  AND, he slept great while we were gone.  He only seems to do it when I am not here.  I am really considering melatonin.  I’m at my last straw at this point.

I guess that is all for now.  I WILL say I got a lot done yesterday!  I even sanded that section of wall in the bathroom like I had been wanting to do after I put the boys down.  I also straightened up our bedroom, took down some laundry, and cleaned the kitchen.  Today I hope to dust and maybe vacuum.  I really should scrub the tub in the bathroom… maybe I’ll do that and just vacuum and leave dusting for tomorrow.  I also need to get a cake mix cause I want to make my Mom a cake and my hubby — both of their b-days are this weekend!  But I need to check and see if my Mom and Dad are coming up or if we are going down there.  I hate using a mix, but my Mom doesn’t like scratch cakes.  *sigh*  I’m not sure why.  Everyone else says my cakes are GREAT, but she says she likes the box mixes better.  Kinda makes me sad!  Anyways, if that’s what she wants, that’s what she’ll get!  So, I need to do that and… hey!  The sun just came out!!!  Maybe I can go and get some outside stuff done today.  I’m not sure if I should clear and burn some brush or if I should go and get the border blocks to start on the side yard…. Guess I should check our account and see how many border blocks I could do…

Ok, off and at it!  I hope!  LOL

 

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