Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

Still waiting… April 26, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 12:39 pm

Hey ladies and gents… if there are gents!  LOL  I am back and finally going enough to type up a blog.  I’ve had a few ‘down’ days and am just now starting to feel back to normal.  I think I had PMS.  I was irritable, tired, and HUNGRY.  It sorta was driving me nuts to be honest.  Cranky and fussy kids didn’t help any!  My youngest has been a terror and it hit me the other day he’s probably in the Terrible Two’s already.  They say it really starts at around 18mos.  Our oldest never really went through that… 3 was his miserable time!  I remember days of tantrums back to back that lasted more than half an hour.  UGH.  But youngest… he’s having it out now!  I had to literally pull him off my oldest yesterday and when I went to put him in his chair I think I was too rough and made him bump his head.  He cried, but I’m not sure if I hurt him or if he was just mad.  I think just mad cause he kept pointing to the other chair like ‘MINE!’  He is SO possessive over things now!  And those things aren’t even his.  It’s a pain!  I don’t try to be too rough with him, but he’s just so much… I can’t even think of the word.  He’s really so much more of a brute than my oldest and unfortunately, I have to be rougher.  I really try not to be, but what else can I do when he’s sitting on my other one and essentially beating him up?  He had a hold of him and just was being MEAN!  I literally grabbed him up by the hair to get him to let go and then picked him up and said, “NO.  THIS is your chair.  No fighting over brother’s chair.”  I’m sure he doesn’t understand but I still try to tell him so that as he gets older it’s clear.  I finally got tired of fussing and put him in his ‘pen’.  He spent a LOT of time in his playpen yesterday in time out.  He was hitting and screaming and fighting every couple of minutes and I just couldn’t take it anymore.  And did I mention he went in his room and pulled EVERYTHING out of the bottom of his closet and then after we busted him for that he went right back in and started trying to do the same to his dresser.  GRRRR!!!!  He’s frying my nerves to bits and I am at a loss as to what to do other than putting him in time out every single time.  And so far, that is what I am resorting too because I hate to have to spank him so much.  Time out is two fold, too.  It gives him time to calm down AND removes him from the situation.  He’s pushing me right now because he knows I’m on here.  But this is really the only time I can blog… I’m too tired at night and then in a bit both kids will be here.  So, morning works better even if it takes me a while of going back and forth.

I didn’t work out this last week… but I did do a TON of walking while in the ATL.  We had SUCH a good time but I do wonder if us being gone is why younger is being a pain.  I think the Grands might have let them get away with too much!  But oh well, as long as I can push through this and the PMS, I think we’ll come out the other side.  Me panicky that I am too rough or was too mean and them hopefully chilled out and ready to be somewhat better.  LOL  And that is something we talked about over the weekend.  The first night there we just ummm…. spent time together and went out to a nice dinner at Cheesecake Factory.  We skipped apps, split dinner, and then had our own desserts, but only ate half.  Oh, and one drink each and water.  :D  The next day was breakfast out which ended up being free.  We literally spent the entire day in Ikea bouncing ideas around, measuring and using the putes, and picking out a few things.  That night, we went to Eclipse de Luna and it was AMAZING!  Yummy Sangria, a great live band and AMAZING tapas!  NOM NOM NOM.  Believe it or not, Sunday we went back to Ikea.  This time to pick up the furniture and things.  Pretty awesome!  Can’t wait to get everything in where it goes.  :)  We just had coffee and cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then Ikea Cafe for lunch.  Oh man, I love me some Swedish Meatballs!!!!  And the salad was so good and fresh!  I was surprised.  So, we had some downtime, got to sleep in and do some shopping, and we got to sit and have some conversations about life, school, work, and kids.  I told my hubby I was worried I was too rough with the kids at times but that I try to be pretty even keeled.  I try to not over-react and try to just handle it in a way in which if I were an outsider looking in or even my own mother, would I be proud of the way I handled it?  I can say that many times I am not, but there are many times I am.  It’s a hard balancing act.  BLEH.  He said he felt the same.  But I think after talking about that and his school and work, we feel more in sync again and I am hoping that we will stay on track.  It feels good to feel like we are back in line.  Now if I can only get over PMS.  I’m hoping that it’s gone… I feel better today and even yesterday I wasn’t a stark raving mad pig!  LOL

I think overall, I’m doing ok.  I DID weigh-in this AM and I was at 190.5.  I’ll take it.  LOL  I just hope that it is back under 190 by Sunday, which it may not be.  Because right after PMS is the real deal.  :/  SO, I just hope I get a good weight and then let it do it’s thing.  I hope to get in a workout later along with doing some housework.  I need to get back into the habit of working on a project every day.  I am right now trying to figure out what to work on today.  I was going to try to do some painting, but it’s rainy out and usually when the humidity is up, it’s a pain to paint.  So, now I am trying to think of something else to do.  I am really thinking of working downstairs in the study.  I also need to do some listings on Craigs, but I can do that later tonight.  I have GOT to get rid of some of these items laying around.  They are just taking up space and I desperately want that space back.  The bad thing is, I have one bench that my Mom bought me that really should go.  I like the bench, but it is taking up space and I have an older bench that I would rather use.  But I feel bad getting rid of it because she bought it for my foyer but it was too large for that area.  SO, I put it in my bedroom and I’ve really liked it there but now we need a new home for the older bench and that seems the most likely spot.  But I just don’t know if I will like it there.  I wish it was a bit smaller so I could use it in the foyer!  AARGH!  I don’t want to part with either one, but I’m not sure I have much choice.  I also have two rockers — one regular and one a springer style.  I love them both but I don’t have enough room for both.  What do you do when you have furniture you don’t want to get rid of?  I don’t think we have the money to pay for a storage rental….  *sigh*  It would be different if both rockers didn’t have meaning… one was my Mom’s and the other my Granny’s.  AARGH.  Maybe what I should do is re-arrange our bedroom and just see if one of the rockers could sit in the corner in there before I make up my mind.  That way the other could stay downstairs.  Not sure about the benches still.  I guess we will have to see.  I know the one bench comes apart and could be stored for later if need be.  Hmmm….

Oh, and just in case anyone is wondering, I am STILL waiting on them to fix my account.  Out of everyone on here, I believe mine has been messed up the longest.  I have surpassed weeks and have moved on to months now.  I heard once from ‘Suzanne’ but have yet to hear another word.  But still, I can’t sign in directly to my account and can’t comment on people’s blogs.  I read and then do a ‘test’ comment, but it goes to a blank page.  So, I’m sorry my friends for not being able to support you the way I would like.  But I tell you, I’m just about done here.  I’ve said it before, but now I know my hubby will help me to transfer all of my things and I’m just about ready to do it.  I just don’t know WHY they can’t fix this.  It’s stupid and should have been done a long time ago!  I hate to sound so rude and negative about it, but COME ON!!!!

Well, I need to quit rambling on and on.  I need to get changed and go pick up oldest, then come home and help him with school work and do some housework.  AND, decide on some project to work on.  Maybe something downstairs.  Lots of things to do, just need to decide on one and do it.  Probably should work in the bathroom since it is a mess anyways!  LOL  OK, onwards and off!

 

4 Responses to “Still waiting…”

  1. incontrol2day Says:

    It sounds like you are doing well albeit super busy and juggling a lot. Good luck with everything :)

  2. pepagirl Says:

    Sounds like you had a great getaway in ATL, I love shopping for furniture! I also don’t think you are being too hard on youngest, they have to learn and the earlier you start the less problems you’ll have later. My bestie has a 4 and 6 yr old that were holy terrors (4yr old still is) because they had a real lack of discpline when they were younger. Now it’s a struggle to get them to bed at night because they want mommy to go to bed with them. About the bench, is it the kind that you could sand and weatherproof to go outside on you porch? Or if it has storage under the seat, could it be used as a toy box or closet organzier- like blankets in the storage and shoes on top? I know how hard it is to get rid of pieces with sentimental value.

  3. unskinnygirl Says:

    I would say is quite ridiculous that your blog hasn’t been fixed yet. I would be e mailing everyday until it was fixed. Lol I’m a bitch like that. Especially since
    It has been so long! I miss your comments. I could always rely on the fact that you would comment on my blog. I’m sorry your having such a rough time with the kids right now. That is very stressful! It will pass eventually. Hope it get better for you soon’

  4. dysfunctionalbarbie Says:

    hmm weird I don’t really have much wrong with my blog, maybe theres a virus in your blog? Can that even happen? I know my blog has been working fine with a few mini glitches when it doesn’t let me post comments but nothing extreme like your’s have been. Are you getting a lot of unwanted comments to your blog by stupid random blogbot sites?

    Also ahhh kids….I have nothing to say about that since I don’t have any, but good luck with them. :x

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