Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

Mess April 16, 2012

Filed under: 2012 — jewlz280 @ 4:01 pm

People, first I need to say thank you SO much for being so supportive.  Second, let me say that I am SO sorry I can’t comment, yet!  AARGH!  This is driving me nuts.  It is!  Lastly… sleep deprivation is making me a mess.  An absolute mess!  Did I mention I caved the other day and gave youngest a bottle?  And I’m not sad I did.  I also caved and took a nap yesterday afternoon.  I needed it to try to regain my sanity.  I was getting all weird and emo and well… that isn’t me.  So, I felt I needed and deserved that nap.  Believe it or not, it helped — A LOT.  And then miracle of miracles… YOUNGEST SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT LAST NIGHT!  Now, this has happened before so I’m not going to get too darn excited, but I am HOPING this is his new schedule.  I can get up a bit earlier in the AM if I can sleep straight through the night!  Especially since I already get up at about 6:20 to get oldest up and off to school.  I normally go back to bed and it takes me a while to fall asleep, so I get maybe one more hour.  I would gladly give up that hour to sleep straight through.  Quality over quantity really does matter!  LOL

I didn’t weigh this AM, though.  I probably should have!  LOL  But I didn’t.  I will try to remember to do it tomorrow before I gulp a bunch of water.  I woke up thirsty and immediately started drinking a big glass of water and then realized that not only had I drunk water but I was also dressed, and hadn’t weighed.  Then I was like, screw it!  I’m not getting undressed to do it now!  LOL  Not that it’s a big deal… I only do it for tracking.  So, it’s not going to hurt anything.  Plus, I think I might need to not look at it all the time… keep myself from getting too stuck on the numbers.  Because after looking back on the last week, I know I’ve done the right thing as far as food goes, but I got all emo from lack of sleep and other stress.  And you know what?  Not worth it.  I know I’m going the right direction and I have got to STOP worrying so much and just keep going.  But I was letting other things/people get into my head.  This is my path and it’s a good one and I’m going to keep to it.

The only thing I need to be doing more regularly is exercise.  It’s always the first thing I let go when things get hectic and when I feel tired.  I keep up with everything else, but I let that go.  Watching my food is easy for me, but the exercise thing is a chore.  And I need to find a way to get past that and get it in more often.  I think a big part of it is that I find excuses for all of my time.  I have a hard time being ok with using nap time or ‘quiet time’ to workout.  I feel like I should use that time for other things that I can’t do when younger is awake.  So, I am trying to devise a way to workout with him up.  Right now, my treadmill is in the garage.  The playroom is next to it.  I am trying to devise a way to workout while younger is awake and I am thinking that now that we aren’t using one of the gates upstairs, I will put it downstairs.  That would allow me to block the stairs but also leave the garage door open with a gate in it so I can workout without worrying about the little one getting hurt on it.  And with the door open, I can watch him in the playroom.  :)  I’m liking this plan… a lot!  I’ve been doing the Pilates with them in here… so it would be nice if I could do the other, too!  :D

You see what sleep does?  I feel so much happier and motivated… sleep deprivation just messes me up something terrible and makes me a weird person.  I don’t like weird Jewlz… she’s disturbing!  :O  And she gets on my nerves.  I hope she stays gone for a while.  LOL  Although, sleep deprived Jewlz did get an amazing amount of work done on the house in the last two days.  I have some errands to run later, but that’s ok since the vast majority of the house is in great shape.  I do have a couple of projects I want to work on later.  I started one but didn’t finish it because I wanted to build it up.  So, it needs it’s second thing today.  But all the housework is done other than maybe some dry dusting of the floors and mopping.  But that’s not a huge deal.  I may do a quick dry dust and then a quick mop but not a steam.  It’s not too terribly bad since I’ve been trying to do a quick mop as often as possible.

*** Ok, it’s late afternoon now and I’m back from running a ton of errands like paying bills and getting a hair cut and… shopping!  People — I bought red capri’s!  Dark red!  :O  I totally dig them.  Really!  I don’t know what possessed me, but I love them!  All I have left on my ‘To Do’ list is to send in my taxes (yes, I procrastinated this year!  :O So unlike me on that!) and something else, but I can’t remember what!  But overall, I’ve gotten a lot done and it’s been nice.  I just wish I could remember what else is was that I was suppose to do… UGH.  Brain dead!  Anyways, just wanted to say it was a good and productive day and hopefully my slump is over.  Have a great week everyone!

 

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