Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

UP October 7, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 10:29 am

My weight is up this AM.  194 to be exact.  But I’ve been on plan the last two days, so I’m not worried.  It could be sodium, it could be the running around or previous lack of sleep, or could even be that I am ovulating.  Either way, I am CHOOSING not to be upset because I KNOW I’ve been doing what I am suppose to do.  My dinner was a bit high last night, but I avoided a late snack and only had hot chocolate.  With real milk and chocolate!  Only 105 cals!  Woot!  Anyways, I know my cals are right where they should be so I’m not going to worry too much.

However, tonight is date night!  So far, we aren’t sure what we’re doing, but I am pretty sure it will involve a nice dinner out.  Our last few date nights have been to just go shopping or bowling or something, so I know tonight will more than likely be a nicer night out.  I am not going to worry about calories or any of that.  I’m going to order what I want, enjoy in moderation, and relax.  I refuse to stress out over date night!  LOL

Will I pay for this come Sunday?  Maybe.  If I do, I do.  Progress not perfection.  I wish I could remember where I first read that so I could give them their due credit.  But Lord knows it struck a cord with me and I’m sure with many others.  Life isn’t about just dieting and restriction — it’s about relaxation, time with the ones we love, and living a little.  Not that dieting and watching food intake is bad, but it’s ok to take some time off from it once in a while.  It just can’t be a habit.  It can’t be to where EVERY day is a day off and every meal a free for all.  Because even if you’re having a bad day, having a couple of good meals makes all the difference.  Even if you ‘fall off the wagon’ and end up eating half a pie at lunch, if your other meals/snacks were good, then you still have made progress…  you didn’t put a bunch of other useless calories in your body.

I’ve been trying to dig around emotionally like MissCatty and find if there are any other little nooks of my persona that I need to deal with.  So far, I haven’t really found anything.  However, I have been noticing little changes in my personality and I’m not sure what has brought it on.  Originally I thought it might have been due to weightloss, but then my hubby pointed out that it didn’t really seem like that was it… it seemed more like it was my old self coming back.  And I must admit that here lately I do feel more and more like myself.  But what is it?  I think it’s that I am really coming to the place where I am content.  I have been telling myself since Spring that I am going to be content where I am in life and I am NOT going to constantly be wishing that things were different or only looking to the future.  I do want to plan for the future, but I want to LIVE in the NOW.  And my wants and needs for now are different than what they were just last year.  I think that everything in my life is being affected by the decision to be content.  I just never thought it would affect all of my life like it has.

**UPDATE**

Date night was great!  We did end up doing a bit of shopping and wandering around the mall.  We shared a plain coffee and a Pecanbon cinnamon roll thing.  Then we went to this great seafood place downtown.  I ordered a salad with basil vinaigrette, crab cakes, and spicey mac-n-spinach.  It was ALL good, but all I had was the darn salad!  I was so full from the salad and the bread rolls that we split I only ate a couple of bites of the crab cakes and the mac stuff.  I did have two drinks — one appletini and one glass of wine but I drank water the rest of the time.  It was great and relaxing and… I think I needed those drinks!  I felt so relaxed last night and I still feel good this AM.  I rarely drink or equate feeling good with alcohol, but up until last night, my back had been so tense I was literally moving around in pain.  But it’s gone!  I think it finally helped me relax enough to let those muscles unknot.  And some one on one time with the hubby didn’t hurt at all!  I finally got some new sunglasses and we looked at boots.  I never did find the boots I wanted, but running around the mall together like a couple of teenagers was fun.  :)  I love spending time with the hubby.  I think the next time we should do something he wants to do.  He says he likes the shopping (he likes current stuff, too!) but I am thinking something more along the lines of his interests.  Like, a car show or something.  Going to look into it.  Although, the last shopping trip was pretty much all about him!  LOL

BTW, my weight was 196 this AM, but I had expected that after going out.  Even though I didn’t eat horribly, the drinks and the higher sodium would make it bump up.  I’d already had a higher trend with my cycle as-is.  OH!  And for dessert last night we shared some key lime pie and hot cocoa.  YUM.  So, I completely expected to see my weight jump up.  Lots of water for the rest of the week and continue watching my food.  We’ll see what Sunday brings!

OK, off of here for now.  I need to get my grocery list finished and hit the store.  Busy busy busy!

 

4 Responses to “UP”

  1. narnia99 Says:

    You have the perfect attitude!

    Glad you had a nice date night with your husband.

  2. misscatty Says:

    Sometimes it isn’t a lightbulb sometimes its just a firefly, that makes you focus and see somehtign you didn’t before! If you are becoming you again. welcome back. Although I have to say I liked the you I have been reading about, and if thats the new you Woo Hoo. Your so on the rigth track with not fretting over every bite, it needs to come off slow and uncomplicated that way if it tries to go back on it will be slow, and esily remedied… What boots you looking for>? I want a cute pair of black boots that have the victorian vintage feel.. and all I can find is mcslutty or mcflats, neither of which make me go OH pretty!

  3. didibuttonsley Says:

    I went to the mall with my fella the other day, and we had so much fun. We played video games in the arcade, and I totally felt like a teenager. It was awesome! I am glad you had a relaxing and fun night out, cause you totally deserve it.

  4. didibuttonsley Says:

    @ misscatty - LMAO! Mcslutty or Mcflats!

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