Yearning for… MYSELF.

I’m pretty happy with that 195.  My cycle is winding down finally AND we had sushi last night so I had assumed my weight would be up.  But nope, it’s good!  I hope it goes down a bit more before Sunday, but even with just the half a pound, I am determined to try to be happy.  195 would be the lowest official weight I’ve had this year.  And that would be a 2lb. loss for the month of September.  Would be nice if it had been more, but I’ll take what I can get!  Especially if it is going down and I don’t feel like I’m ’suffering’ through.  I won’t lie… there were times I felt that way with low-carb.  Mostly due to fruit.  I LOVE fruit and I never did seem to be able to get to the phase where I could add it back in and lose.  I go to berries and that was about it.  Not sure what I was doing wrong, but I’m sure it was me.  I still think I was probably having too much dairy and fat.  That’s the only thing that makes sense.

Another thing is, when I was doing low carb, I think I got too reliant on artificial sweeteners.  To have anything sweet, I was using those and I think that was a VERY bad habit.  Now I hardly use any artificial sweeteners.  I’m trying hard to avoid most artificial things, to be honest.  And since I can have a variety of fruits and not worry about the carbs, I’ve just not struggled with it like I did.  I think it’s because right now I know I can have whatever I really want and just watch my portions.  It works really well for me right now.  What low carb did for me, though, was got me in the habit of eating good veggies and lean meats.  The only thing I haven’t been doing is the smoothies lately.  I really don’t know why… I guess I go in food cycles!  Anyways, I am glad that I did low carb and got to where I am now and that now I am doing the low cal.  Am I annoyingly positive right now?  I don’t want to be one of those bloggers that drives people nuts with being overly perky.  I just feel good and feel like I’m going somewhere with this even if it is at a slower pace.  And that I am making some good changes.

It’s taken me a while to get here.  And honestly, I keep waiting to hit that point where I hate life.  I know it will happen, it happens to us all!  But I just feel like right now I’m making slow and steady changes.  Although, in the last week I could’ve eaten more veggies…  I’ve just been on fruit like gangbusters!  And grains.  I love me some coarse oatmeal!  But going to focus on more veggies again.  Like, making up some salad here in a bit just to make it a bit easier!  And my fave dressing.  I want to tweak the original recipe.  I think adding either some water or fruit juice will make it easier to use.  I believe one tablespoon has around 80 cals.  I’d like to bring it down just a bit and I think adding a bit of juice or water will thin it out so it isn’t so oily and calorie filled.  I am thinking about trying apple juice since the flavor isn’t as invasive as say, lemon or lime juice.  However, that may shorten it’s shelf life to add juice…  I guess we will see.  I want to play with it and just see where we end up.  In the end, adding a bit of water may be all I need.  Or maybe more vinegar…  Decisions decisions decisions!  I probably should make more of a dent in the dressing we already have before I even make anymore, but balsamic vinaigrette is just my fave.  The Greek stuff we got is good but has a real twang.  Maybe I will go through my fridge before I decide.  lol

OH!  I haven’t done measurements in a long time.  I plan on doing those on Sunday when I do my last weigh-in for this cycle.  I don’t know how I forgot last month… weird.  I’m sure I wrote about it, but I have forgotten and I’m not willing to go back through all those posts!  HA!  But I will try to do it on Sunday right after I weigh.  I don’t know if there will be much if any change, though, since I have just started trying to get more workouts in.  So far this week, I’ve only gotten one!  But for two days I’ve been running around like nuts so I just didn’t have time.  I may make time here in a bit even though I have 50 other things I should be doing… like cleaning, painting, caulking, etc.  But it’s 20mins.  I think I can squeeze in the 20mins!  I need to even with everything else going on.  I need to make it a habit.  But since it hasn’t been, yet, I don’t think the measurements will show much change.  I’ll do them anyways!

Well, that is all I can think of for today.  I really need to get up off of here and do the things that need to be done.  I consider blogging an important part of my days, but I can’t spend all day on here!  LOL  So, going to go read a couple of blogs and then get to it.  Have a great day, chicks!

I love getting my hair cut.  When you get a good cut, it just makes your whole world seem brighter!  And the girl who cuts my hair is the shiznit people.  I mean it.  I think I have a girl crush!  She’s like, 20yrs. old, cute as a button, sweet as sugar, and well, AWESOME.  Hair must be her calling because she’s just dang good.  My hair is FAB.  And the funny thing is, it was just a trim!  But she ‘cut in’ my layers and shaped it back up.  Even told me how good my hair was looking.  I told her I was going back dark and she was like really?  This red is so great on you!  I asked her even if it was cheap Revlon 49?  She said ABSOLUTELY.  I love her.  I don’t think I can go anywhere else ever again!  You know, I need to check and see if she is willing to take my number so that if anything ever happens and she leaves that salon that she can call me and I’ll follow her to the new place.  Yes, I am SERIOUS!!!!

So, I am feeling SEX-AY!  My hair is all bouncy and swingy AND… the scale said 195.0 this AM!  AND… Tom is still here!  I am hoping this is a good sign.  :)  Although, my weight may be up tomorrow… I’ve run around like crazy today between errands and being back home and all that jazz.  Then the hubby told me he’d REALLY like sushi for dinner.  Hard to argue with that since I love the stuff, too!  I can’t imagine the cals are horribly bad, but the sodium… OY.  I even use reduced sodium soy sauce many times, but still get bloaty.  Maybe I’ll just keep chugging water until dinner and then have some mashed frozen bananas for dessert.  Oh so yummy and oh so full of potassium to fight bloat! 

They came today to do our roof…. but we still haven’t gotten things straightened out with our insurance company.  I am about two seconds from being totally irritated.  They said they would overnight our THIRD check.  The first wasn’t valid, the second never showed, and this will be the 3rd.  I could scream.  SERIOUSLY.  And this isn’t some shoddy company… this is ALLSTATE!  I am SO ready to change companies at this point.  Farm Bureau is lookin’ darn tootin’ good.  Their reviews since all of these storms has gone UP!!!  They must take good care of their people for reviews to go UP!  Back to the roof.  Anyways, turns out our roof was worse than they thought, but luckily had held up really well.  The felt underlayment was still good so they went over it with MORE felt to make it even thicker.  Then they put on the new shingles.  I was shocked when I saw it… I thought we were getting plain ol’ shingles.  Nope.  These are those 3-D shingles!  Changes the whole look of our house!  It’s nuts!  The guy doing our gutters and stuff is also the painter and he asked who had done all the other work.  We said we did and he was like WOW — you guys have done a GREAT job.  Now, this guy is a professional and does this for a living.  BLEW MY MIND!  WOOT!  I mean, we felt we had done a good job, but it was fantastic to hear it from someone who does this for a living.  He said he was concerned about our cinder-block foundation in the back… it wasn’t properly sealed.  We said we knew and planned on stripping it, cleaning and re-applying the ‘concrete’ overlay, sealing, and then painting.  He thinks we should stucco, but we will see.  The back yard still needs a lot of work, so we will have to come back to that…. because we’re going to be digging out so close to the house that we want to wait to do that until then.  As far as paint, he said they would come back tomorrow to go over how much the gables and soffits would be plus the back of the house.  They said insurance may cover paint even if the siding wasn’t previously there since there more than likely would’ve been paint damage had there been paint.  So, we will see.  I don’t want to push it or lie to the insurance company.  But if they submit it and the insurance accepts, then we’ll do it.  But I’m not willing to be dishonest.  I’d rather just pay the extra cost out of pocket.  Or do it myself.  LOL  I think we’ll end up doing it ourselves.  We’ll see.

I guess I don’t really have much else to talk about… I feel like lately I’ve become a bit boring and my posts aren’t interesting.  But I really am just going day to day doing the same ol’ things.  I’m trying to stick to the 1600 cals per day doing the 4 square thing and it’s been working pretty well for me.  My Sundays are more relaxed, but that is about it.  I don’t really feel like I’m struggling all that much and I haven’t had any truly emotional stuff going on.  So, I guess this is all for now.  Until tomorrow!

I wore my pedometer all day yesterday.  I STILL didn’t reach 5000!  Even after walking on the treadmill.  UGH.  Then we had a rough night last night.  Little man got hurt late yesterday and I KNOW it had to have hurt.  He scraped his chin pretty bad and it rubbed the skin off of one finger.  I was pretty mad.  No, not at him.  At my husband.  Why?  Well, you see, he fell ON MY TREADMILL.  My husband actually let my BABY crawl on the treadmill while it was ON and he fell.  I could’ve throttled him!!!  I know he feels bad because he was really trying to just let oldest on and then let youngest do it for just a min., but still.  Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t think.  He feels horrible about it, but I was LIVID last night.  I managed to keep my temper in check until he left and then I called my Mom to unleash.  I felt better after talking to her about it.  I know crap happens, it’s just that sometimes I wish he would stop and think about things a bit before he just goes and DOES it.  I didn’t want to blow up at him last night because it was POURING the rain and he had to get to work.  I didn’t want him speeding and angry driving down the interstate in the rain.  He did say this AM that he is going to try to see the danger in things before he does them.  I know it’s hard for him — he’s a male and well, both our kiddos are male.  So, many times he acts just like a kid with them and does things I would never do.  But the fact that he is boyish is part of his charm.  He never acts like he’s too old or ‘grown’ to play with his kids…. or even me.  The fact that he is playful and fun makes a huge difference in our relationship.  I couldn’t be married to someone who didn’t have a playful side.  Anyways, crap happens, we’re all over it now, and youngest seems to be ok.  I think he was uncomfortable some last night, but he did finally sleep in.  I doubt he will be napping today he slept in so late.

After being up so late, I ended up forgetting to put my pedometer back on early this AM.  So, now I’m sure I’m missing at least a couple of hundred.  Just the walk to the bus stop is a good amount!  But I have put it on now and have been wearing it.  I got over 1000 steps at Wally!  LOL  No wonder… I needed stuff from all over the place.  LOL  But oh well, at least I’m wearing it and trying.  :)  Not sure if I will get to walk today since youngest more than likely won’t nap.  He didn’t fall asleep in the car on the way home, we have no eye rubbing, AND he’s up laughing and playing so I am going to assume that a nap isn’t happening today.  Which is fine.  I’d rather there be no nap and go to bed on time than a late nap and then he won’t go to bed.  I am hoping that his finger is ok enough to not be too bothersome to him tonight.  I got some new bandages and I’ve been trying to keep it clean and at least rub a bit of ointment on it.  He doesn’t seem all that bothered by them… but they look red and mad.  :(  I just hope the one on his chin doesn’t scar up.  I’m just going to let them be and do what I can and if the doesn’t show improvement in a couple of days, I plan on taking him to the Dr. to have them looked at to be safe.  But for now, he seems ok.

I have decided to take my hair back dark.  I was tempted to go to red and tempted to try all other sorts of things, but in the end, I am going back to soft black or dark brown.  I have both colors.  But I think I am just over the red phase for a bit.  I may go back to it at a later date, but for now I just want something a bit easier.  Not that the red was all that hard, but it did seem like it was fading faster and faster and well, I’d rather not re-color for fade and only re-color for touch-ups.  Besides, I’ve had the red hair for a couple of years now so change is good.  :)  Come Spring, I may do some blonde or copper highlights.  I am actually thinking of doing heavy stripping before I put the brown/black on so that if I do highlights later, it won’t pull so much red.  That or using the shampoo I have for removing brassiness from blonde hair for about a week before I color.  That way, it will pull out a lot of the red.

Other than that, I am trucking on.  My weight this AM was still 197.0, but with Tom being here, I’m not really surprised.  I don’t expect to see it move down any until day 4.  At that point, then I will get to really see where I am headed.  Although, I must admit I don’t feel nearly as bloaty as I normally do.  I feel pretty normal other than the lower back pain that IS normal for me.  So, I guess we will see.  I would really like to see like, 194.0 come Sunday.  Lower would be better, but I want to be realistic.  So, 194.x is what I am hoping for.  Really 194.0.  LOL

I guess this is all for today ladies.  Sorry I’m not commenting much, but I’ve not been getting many comments either so I’m guessing we’re all pretty darn busy and doing good to just write ours up and read them.  And then some of them, well, I just don’t know what on earth to say!  Does that make sense?  Ok, well, I am going to jump off of here for now and attempt to eat some lunch.  I am STARVING right now and I have some leftovers screaming my NAME!  And if hubby ever gets up, I should run to the store.  FUN.  Tonight I plan on a big salad, but we will see.  Laters!

Yes, this is INDEED my second post today!  But… I did it!  I worked out!  And I think this time-slot may be just what I was looking for.  If I can put youngest down around 12 and then get downstairs, that gives me some time to walk and then stretch before I need to leave to pick up oldest.  I know that there will be days that this won’t work out, but I am going to try to shoot for it and let it fall where it may.  But as for today, I got 20mins. on the treadmill and then stretching.  :D  I am going to aim to work out every day, knowing I probably won’t.  But if I make it a point of TRYING every day, then I hope I will get more than if I said, say I will do 5.  I think if I say 5, I’d maybe get 2 or 3.  I’m hoping by trying to do a little every day, I will get at least 4.  I want to do it in addition to anything else I do since walking is easy and good for you.  The stretching, well, I wish I had more time for it, but 10 or so mins. will have to do.  I may have to do different types of stretching to get them all in just on different days.  And the Pilates, well, I may have to do what was suggested to me which was to spread it out throughout the day.  Some squats when I’m doing dishes or calf raises.  Leg lifts when I’m laying in the floor with the kids.  Core work while I’m watching the ‘quiet time’ TV with the kiddos.  Things like that.  It will have to do.

Well, now that my workout is done and oldest is home and I even have the kitchen cleaned, I need to get off of here and decide what to do for the rest of my day.  It’s not even 3 and I’ve got pretty much everything on my list done!  I wish we could go to the park, but it’s looking rainy out and has already started sprinkling.  :(  And youngest just woke up and is eating his snack.  I think I’m going to have to get rid of the bottles and sippy’s.  We’ve been working on the bottles, but this ‘trainer’ sippy’s leak like the dickens!  Every time his bottle or cup gets turned upside down, I’m cleaning up puddles!  They gotta go.  Thankfully we only had a couple of each.  I didn’t really want many transition ones since he seemed to like the regular ones just fine once he took oldest’s.  Although, my older one only uses them once in a while now.  He is more than old enough and more than capable of drinking from a regular cup, so he normally does.  The sippy is usually on used on car trips or when we have snack in the living room instead of in the kitchen.  Other than that, he drinks out of regular cups.  OK, well, seriously, going to go now! 

197.0 today.  Not bad seeing as how yesterday was suppose to be a ‘relaxed’ day.  Or cheat day.  Whatever you want to call it.  LOL  I told myself I could have whatever I had been wanting, but all I ended up having that probably was a bit over was two of those mini-cheeseburgers and some fries.  Then I had ice cream with vanilla wafers, bananas, and caramel.  Even that probably wasn’t too bad, though.  I didn’t eat huge portions and stopped when I was full.  I also took yesterday off to just take it easy and read a book.  But not so for today.  Today I need to balance the checkbook, pay bills, and do some pick-up… especially dishes.  They piled up over the last couple of days so I need to get them caught back up.  I also need to finish putting away youngest’s winter stuff and cleaning out his dresser.  I never did get to that a week or so ago and now his room is REALLY in need of being finished!  But I’ll do that later when oldest is home to help me out a bit.

I have decided that today is the day.  I have GOT to get back to exercising and the ONLY way I am going to do it is if I MAKE the time to do it.  No distractions.  No FB, no book, no TV… NADA.  I need to just get down there and DO IT.  And I have also decided to stop trying to push myself to do things I really have no interest in.  Like, running.  I just don’t like it or enjoy it so why do I keep pushing myself to try to do it?  I love the walking and I love hiking, but I really don’t enjoy running.  I think somewhere along the way I got it in my head that healthy people run and well, I’m purging that NOW.  Running is great for some people, but it just isn’t for me.  At least not right now.  After I lose more weight, I may change my mind but until then, I am going to stick with the walking.  Oh, and Pilates.  I really enjoy the walking and stretching and even Pilates.  So, I plan on sticking with those for now.

I FINALLY wore my pedometer the other day but I don’t feel like the reading was very accurate.  I did a LOT of housework that day, but it only registered like, 1000 steps.  You see, it doesn’t count any ‘rocking’ motion or upper body work which most of you probably know you do a lot of at home!  Our upstairs isn’t very large (only about 1100 sqft.) and half of that is blocked off for the baby.  So, I don’t do a lot of long trips across the house.  But I was still really disappointed in that number.  I felt like I moved a lot that day but it wasn’t reflected on the darn thing.  My hubby said not to worry and that it was the average of the week or even month that was important.  But I was so frustrated, I didn’t wear the darn thing for a couple of days.  One of those days at the zoo.  I should’ve worn it that day!  I would’ve been high on steps for sure!  Anyways, I have the darn thing on today and I have to start tracking it on our insurance sight if I want credit, so I am going to start that this week.  I also need to review and see what other things we are suppose to do for it.  I know we’re suppose to do some sort of bloodwork, agree to talk to a health counselor, and of course the step thing.  I refused the counselor.  I’m busy enough most days without having to deal with that, too!  But I don’t mind doing the bloodwork and the walking.  I don’t even know if we can get in for check-ups in time for it or not this year.  Oh well, if not, there is always next year.

I am going to go ahead and try to dye that dress.  I have nothing to lose!  And after reading up on reviews of dyes, I think I will go with the RIT or the Dharma ones.  They are both suppose to be really easy to use.  We used the RIT ones for my BIL’s wedding for the bridesmaids dresses and they came out really pretty.  I would’ve kept the dress for future use if it had fit me well!  So, here is to hoping I can do that and save the dress.  I just wish I knew where the weird yellowish stain came from!  I’m normally able to get out ANYTHING and for whatever reason, this won’t come out at all.  UGH.  Even with straight bleach!

I am also thinking of dying something else… aka, my hair.  I have had red hair now for over two years and I love it, but I am thinking it may be time for a change.  Here lately, it seems like it fades faster and faster.  That or just time is moving faster!  Either way, I’m tired of this shade of red but I’m not sure where to go from here.  My options are to go with a brighter red that will ‘pop’ more or to go to a dark brown.  I’m leaning more and more towards a dark almost black brown.  My skin is REALLY pale so wearing anything that’s not a rich color tends to wash me out.  Right now, this red has faded and I look washed out.  BLEH.  When it’s fresh, it looks great, though!  But right now I have roots, gray, and fading.  Plus, I need a trim.  I go for my trim on Thurs.  I am thinking I need a new color.  I think the dark almost black chocolately brown is the way to go.  I had thought of trying a blonde color again… but I just don’t know if I want to do that right now.  It would be a PAIN to strip out all this red to go blonde, but I could do it.  But I think I would need at least 3 processes to get it all out.  AND, I would have to get some facial bleach just to keep my eyebrows lightened.  Hmmm… that sounds like a whole lotta trouble… thinking darker is better.  Maybe someday if I have more money to spend on going to a salon I will try the blonde again.  I don’t know… I guess I will look the next time I go to buy color and see what I can find and how I feel and then decide.  But for now, thinking the dark is the way to go.

Well, it’s going on 10:30 so I need to get up off of my tush and get a few things done.  At least I am all caught up on my mail, blog, and FB!  You chicks have a great day!

Today’s official weigh-in is 195.5.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.  I saw 194.5 yesterday, but then we went to the zoo and did a ton of walking.  I should’ve worn my pedometer, but I didn’t.  Anyways, I figured I would be swollen a bit today from the walking since I was good on food.  I drank a lot of water, but I don’t think it was enough to keep me from being swollen.  This seems to happen EVERY week.  I get a GREAT and positive number on Sat., and then come Sunday my number is back up because we did some activity on Sat.  I don’ t know if I should consider it good or bad.  Right now, I’m feeling BAD!  Because I’m annoyed.  I’ll get over it here in a bit and tell myself to move on since the scale is moving down; even if it’s slow.  Even in my annoyance I know that some kind of loss is better than no loss or gaining and that losing slow is the best way.  But it’s frustrating when I see a good loss like, 2lbs. on Sat. and then get up to a higher number come Sunday.  Makes this week seem as if I have only lost 0.5lbs. for the week.  UGH.

I have one week left for this month.  As of now, I’ve only lost 1.5lbs.  Unless I lose more this week, this is going to be a disappointing month.  And I probably won’t have a good loss since I should be starting my cycle anytime now.  I really thought it would’ve started by now…  It’s going to end up messing up my final week.  I know I shouldn’t let the numbers get to me, but sometimes they just do.  I’m just not feeling very happy with these numbers today!!!  I never have been a fan of Math!  LOL  At least I made myself smile! 

One good thing that happened over the weekend (besides a fun family day together!) was that while being out yesterday, I realized that I made a goo decision in trying to lose weight no matter how frustrating it is.  I saw a LOT of heavier people out yesterday and it made me think that maybe we HAVE become more accustomed to being fat.  Maybe not in the way I originally read that one article, but in another way.  I think maybe subconsciously, we HAVE become use to it.  We’ve allowed ourselves to grow larger and larger and even though we don’t WANT to be fat, we ARE.  And I’m not talking about those people who are 10 or even just 20lbs. over, but I saw women I knew who had to be pushing 3 to 5 times that amount.  Men, too.  Are we really oblivious to how large we are?  Is THAT why when we encounter a thin person who has maybe 5 or 10lbs. to lose we say, ‘But you’re so thin!’  Are we suffering from another type of body dysmorphia where we don’t see ourselves as big as we are and we see a slightly overweight person as normal?

Anyways, the whole point is I saw these people and thought to myself, good for us for getting out and doing something healthy!  We even packed our own lunches, snacks, and water.  I DID eat one vanilla ice cream cone of soft serve, but that was it.  And it wasn’t a huge one or anything.  I hope that is why the other families came out — to do something fun, healthy, and not be sitting at home.  I am trying hard not to be judgmental of others now that I am traveling along on this journey.  I don’t know them just as they don’t know me, so maybe they are trying to lose weight, too.  Cause it’s easy to be disgusted with yourself and with others when you become so aware of weight.  I don’t think other people’s weight really ever registered that much with me until I became so aware of mine.  It’s much easier to have that negative self-talk once you become more aware.  I’m trying hard not to do that to myself because I caught my reflection a few times yesterday in mirrors, doors, etc. and it was hard not to say I look great, BUT… and you know where I’m going.  It’s like I can’t even appreciate where I AM because of how far I still need to go.  My personal goal is still more than 40lbs. away, but the ‘ideal’ is over 50.  But for right now, why can’t I appreciate that I’m under 200?  That I’m 20lbs. away from my post-baby highest?  30lbs. from my all-time highest?  I hate these days where I feel negative.  I shouldn’t feel this way at all!!!  I should be proud and ready to keep kicking butt!  BLEH!  Stupid weird negative feelings!  GO AWAY!  I want my normal, confident self back.  I hope this passes soon.

I know what this is.  This is partially PMS and partially the ‘return to routine’ blues.  I’m going to get through it, it’s just annoying right now.  Maybe I just need a new hobby or something.  I think some downtime to myself would be good, too.  That’s one thing I am missing right now is friendship and that kinship that comes from having a group of female friends.  I quit trying thinking that I was trying too hard, but so far not much has improved.  I just don’t seem to have very much in common with the people around here.  Even the one sorta close friend here… well… I like her and all, but she’s a tad strange!  But it’s not her fault.  She’s a great person who had a rough childhood, so making friends isn’t easy for her.  She’s not trusting of a lot of people.  She cat-called me the other day as she drove by — I told her that meant we were real friends now!  LOL  She cracked up — she DOES get my sense of humor!

Ok, now that I’ve droned on and on, I think I will get off of here and maybe give my Mom a call and then relax and read a book.  Not much else to do today since I did a lot of housework this last week AND I picked up some this AM while the coffee was brewing.  I kinda hope we can put up some Halloween stuff this afternoon when the hubby gets up, but we will see.  It’s all sorted and ready to go, that’s for sure!  We can only put up part of it, though, since the roofers will be coming out soon and we want to finish up some painting, etc.  I’m out for now ladies!

Back at 196 today and I have NO clue how.  I was an eating MO-CHINE (HA!) yesterday.  I kept it to healthier food like grapes, half a peach, some popcorn, and part of a cookie.  But I felt ravenous all day yesterday and drunk a ton of water, too.  Just to try to keep the growling to a minimum.  I expected this after the last time so I just let it roll and kept putting in healthy food.  MUCH better than stuffing my face with junk!  Yes, I WANTED junk, but I didn’t eat it!  And let me tell you, grapes and popcorn do WONDERS for cravings since they are sweet and crunchy and then salty and crunchy.  Then the peach was soft.  The cookie was chocolatey and I didn’t eat much — just a few bites from youngest’s leftover.  He rarely gets sweets but I let him last night.  I think most ended up in the floor!  LOL  He may end up being like me and only liking chocolate occasionally. But I am really proud I stayed away from junk food and ate fruits and healthy options instead of chips and candy like I normally crave!  Now I can use that in the future.  :)  I made another one of the Spinach and Goat Cheese pizzas.  However, I added WAY more spinach and some tomatoes from my garden.  It already had some, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to add some more!  I really liked it much better with the extra veggies.

Yesterday wasn’t quite as productive as I had hoped, but I did finish the kitchen with a good wipe down and another load of dishes.  I also did some more laundry and stripped two of the beds (oldest’s room didn’t need it).  I think I picked up toys a hundred times.  I’ll do it again today to vacuum!  Thankfully, I got our room straightened up the rest of the way, cleaned the shower liner and one of the cabinet sliders.  Oldest cleaned his room.  All in all, a pretty good day but I had hoped to get a bit more done, but with PMS, I just don’t have much energy.  Just zaps me clean out!  So, I felt good about getting anything done!  LOL  I need to clean a spot on the couch downstairs today, maybe do one load of laundry, vacuum, dust, and clean the floors.  I think I will clean them even if it continues to rain because I’ve already put it off several times and it REALLY needs it.  I hate having dirty floors and with all the off and on rain we’ve had, they look just terrible!  I think I will steam them and just be done with it.  Even if they get dirty again, at least I know they were clean for a bit!  LOL

The company doing the work to our house didn’t show yesterday.  I told the hubby, I think we got the day mixed up.  When he said Thursday, we assumed yesterday.  But I think he meant NEXT Thursday because he said he had to order the color of shingles we wanted.  Mistake on my part for not asking.  I may call here in a bit just to see.  I’d like to be prepared!  I’d also like to know if they are going to start right away the next morning or what.  I want to plan to be out of the house the day they come to do the work because I’ve heard how loud it can be and well, I don’t want to sit and listen to it!

I AM a bit unhappy.  One of the items I had wanted to save that got stained was one of my summer dresses.  The others were one of my son’s playshirts, a newish tank top, and an older shirt.  I didn’t care to let the playshirt and older shirt go, but I had hoped to save the tank and the dress.  The tank was too difficult and wouldn’t come out no matter WHAT I tried, and I tried it ALL.  Same with the dress.  So, I’m sorta bummed out now.  I am actually thinking that I want to try dying the dress — I’ve only worn it maybe two times and I love it.  The stain is yellowish on white fabric and I don’t own many yellow things, so I was thinking of getting some fabric dye and trying to see if I could dye it yellow.  What do you think?  I am just so aggravated over whatever this is that I could scream!  I don’t know where it has come from. 

This weird weather is messing me up!!!  Oldest is off of school today and we had wanted to go to the zoo.  But we got up to rain this AM and decided to stay home.  2hrs. later and the sun is out!!!  UGH.  Now I’m trying to decide if we should go on and chance it or find something else to do.  I hate to just SIT here.  Well, not sit seeing as how I have plenty of housework to do, but you know.  I had just wanted to get them out and do something fun for a few hours.  Then when we got home and they were tuckered out, I could get a few things done! 

Well, just finished up my ‘Health Assessment’ call.  After talking with her, I feel like I’m doing pretty ok but that there are a few more things I could be doing to be better.  AKA, exercise.  I feel like I’m on the right road with food, but the exercise thing is a killer.  I even told her about being on here and blogging for not only support but stress relief and she said that was a great idea!  :D  I told her about how I also call and talk to a friend and she said that was probably the best thing I could do.  I was like, DUH, but I didn’t say that to her.  LOL  But overall, I’m feeling good.  Just need to find the time to fit everything in.  Well, not necessarily time, but motivation!  And I should wear my pedometer.  Maybe I’ll put it on here in a min.

Well, I’m going to go for now chicks.  I need to get a few things done and decide what to do with this day.  Hope you all have a great weekend! 

The weather outside looks eerie — it’s SUPER foggy out.  I’m not sure where the fog rolled in from since at 7AM this morning it was clear.  We walk to the bus stop at 7.  But now it’s 8 and it’s foggy as can be and there is a fog advisory… strange.  Geez… now it looks even thicker!

So, I’ve been sorta out of it the last couple of days.  I don’t know why I had been feeling so groggy and so unmotivated.  But then I had yesterday — I was SUPER productive!  I cleaned the entire family room and playroom downstairs including a good vacuum.  Still wasn’t EVERYTHING I would’ve liked to have gotten done down there, but it looks SO much better!  I even got some of the Halloween stuff out and sorted and cleaned up the kitchen along with my errand run to Target.  I got some great deals on frozen stuff!  Especially my pizza… I love their Spinach and Goat cheese on flatbread.  I don’t think I could make it better myself.  I also got some Kashi and LC meals.  I feel good about how stocked my freezer is right now.  I feel like we have lots of healthy food options and there is NO reason why we can’t all be eating well.  I really hope I can be as productive today once I get up and going.  I need to finish sorting Halloween stuff, try to salvage some stained clothes, dust, finish youngest’s closet, and some other odds and ends.  They are also suppose to deliver the stuff to start the repairs on our house today, but as of yesterday we still had not received our replacement check.  That is a WHOLE different story!

What HAS been good the last few days is that my old clothes are getting LOOSE!  I had been able to fit into some 16’s, but I hadn’t really been trying anything on.  I mean, it’s been summer so I had mostly been wearing sundresses and leggings.  But the temps have dropped here so I had to break out the jeans.  And my 18’s were LOOSE!  The 16’s I just bought fit, but were snug an I mostly got them HOPING that by the time the weather cooled off, they would fit better.  I haven’t tried them back on, but I am going to soon.  I am just satisfied that the 18’s are so loose right now!  And even my jeggings that I bought in XL that were tight when I bought them (I only wear them under tunic tops and dresses) are now getting all loose.  My weight this AM was 197.5, which was good, but I was a tad annoyed.  I wasn’t sure why my weight was sitting so high currently until I looked at the calendar last night… it’s PMS week.  I should start in the next few days unless I am late.  Tomorrow is day 28, so it could be anytime over the weekend.  I didn’t even realize it was time again already!  How sad is that?  LOL  Damn.  I bet that means I won’t have a loss this week.  :(  And if I don’t have a loss this week, then it’s pretty much up to my last week and going into the first week of Oct. to see what the month says.  I know 193 is too much to hope for.  Bleh.  That’s depressing!  I guess I will be happy no matter what.  At least, I’m going to try to be.

Bleh.  It’s all rainy out today and my head feels like splodin’!  My nose is jacked up, head hurts, body doesn’t want to cooperate…  Just BLEH.  I really wish I felt better.  I have a lot I need to get done today and so far, I haven’t moved off of the couch much.  Granted, it’s only 8:30 AM and I’ve only been up 2hrs.  Part of which I spent getting oldest up and off to school, making coffee and getting youngest up for the day.  Oh, and bitching about Facebook.  I don’t know WHAT the hell they were thinking with the new settings, but I HATE it.  I can’t get to anything and apparently, I’m going to have to re-do ALL of my settings.  It’s absolute BS.  And honestly, I don’t see the point.  They took all the lists I already had and re-arranged them they way THEY thought they should be.  It’s like our government — always stepping in and trying to micromanage everything.  It may SEEM like a good idea at the time, but all it does is go overboard and become a nuisance.  This may not be true of all things… some regulation is good.  But holey moley, there’s a LINE!

Ok, on to diet/exercise.  I STILL have not gotten into any kind of exercise routine.  I’ve also not worn my pedometer.  I meant to put it on today, but I just can’t seem to remember to do it.  I don’t even want to.  I KNOW I don’t get that many steps in a day!  I could be wrong, but I doubt it.  As far as diet, still going right along.  It was hard Mon. and Tues. after Sun.  Sunday was my lax day after my weigh-in.  Still can’t believe I saw 196!  Mon. and Tues. I saw 198, but I’m sure that was from eating out on Sun.  I forgot to weigh this morning…  I was in such a hurry to get dressed to get oldest on the bus, I just didn’t think to do it!  First time in a long time.  But that is ok.  I guess I could go weigh now…  Might as well.  brb

K.  Still 198.  Granted, I’ve had some coffee and toast, but I don’t think it would make a big enough difference.  Oh well.  Not going to get worked up over it.  Just going to make sure that I get in a good amount of water and eat on plan.  I don’t think I’m getting enough water.  The in-door water in our fridge is torn up and keeps slowing and even stopping.  I’ve noticed that since it messed up, I’ve had a hard time getting all my water in.  REALLY thinking of either doing a whole house filter or at least a system on the kitchen sink.  I really need to get my water in!  And my vitamins.  I’ve not been taking those either and I need to get back to it.

Well, I’m not feeling uber perky and talkative today.  Not sure why?  So, I guess I am going to bring this to a close for now.  Later chicks.

The official number for my weigh-in is 196!  I am smidgen disappointed that it was 195.x, but I am still very happy about the loss!  Last Sunday I was 198.5, so from last week that is 2.5.  Week before that was 197.0 so that is a 1lb. loss.  Either way, positive movement down!  Would’ve been nice to be more than the 1lb. since last weekend I was all swelled up, and I was going on the previous weigh-in as a marker of my progress, but I’ll take anything that is moving down!  Hopefully next week I will see another loss.  But what I AM happy about is I have OFFICIALLY hit my 20lbs. lost!  Woot!!!

Not sure what today is going to be like.  It’s Sunday and usually we like to take it easy, but I am thinking we are going to have to run some errands.  Mainly, we were suppose to have gotten a new carseat from the BRU Great Trade-in Event, but we have yet to do it.  Today is the last day so we really should go.  Our carseat could make it a bit longer — it’s a transition seat so it’s the right size.  BUT, it says it expires this Spring.  I wouldn’t take much stock in that except for youngest is only 13mos. (about to be 14mos.) and he will be in this seat for a long time.  At least until he is 3.  THIS is one of the issues with having kids farther apart — you have to replace things!  We got good deals on oldest’s stuff and it has for sure gotten it’s usefulness, but we bought them discounted which means they were the previous season’s stock to begin with.  That means when we bought them, they were already sometimes a year old.  SO, now they are expired.  Which is only, apparently, a big deal in carseats.  Well, it’s ABOUT to expire.  And with a 25% discount for trading in, I just don’t see the point in not taking advantage of that.  I think it’s only 20% in Spring.

OK, well, I guess I need to go and get to it.  Later chicks.