Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

10/14 October 14, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 10:33 am

Family Affair — LOL  Thankfully my hubby doesn’t complain.  He grew up in a large family, so he knows that the household chores are just that — chores.  Something to be done daily.  Even laundry!  Mostly because between kids, dogs, and the type of work he does I am doing small loads non-stop.  It’s just easier than letting it pile up.  Although, I’m trying a new method this month.  I use to take everyone’s clothes down at once and strip the whole house — kitchen towels and rags, bathroom towels, baby, older, and ours plus all the bedding and any blankets.  I’m not doing that this time.  This time I took down just the dirty blankets and things and then the baby’s stuff to soak.  I stripped his room down and just did his.  Then I did ours the next day.  Today or tomorrow, I will do oldest’s.  So far, that’s working out WAY better than trying to sort all of it, wash all of it, and put it all away in 5 or 6 different areas.  I do one room and put one room away.  I thought I’d end up doing more laundry this way, but so far if I have, it’s been maybe one load.  Just works better for me!  I am so glad my hubby is understanding about housework.  On the rare occasion he isn’t, he usually figures it out quick!

MsCatty –  The Dr. told us it was completely normal and that all babies learn to sleep through the night at their own pace.  The average is about a year, but with teething, growth spurts, and whatnot it can all disrupt their sleeping patterns.  And guess what?  Stuck my finger in there yesterday to get something out of his mouth and sure enough, I felt more teeth coming in.  I’d bet that is why he keeps waking up.  UGH.  So, out come the chilled chewers to hopefully give him relief.  If all else fails, I’ll break out the meds like Tylenol or Ibuprofen.  I should’ve bought stock with my oldest who literally got ALL of his at one time.  :O  Youngest seems to be dragging it out.  He has 7 now and they are taking FOREVER.  Oh, and I love the coffee syrups!  I just don’t use them as much as I use to because they are very hard to find here and I hate always ordering online.  We’ve used them to flavor fillings, shakes, smoothies… even breads.  LOL  Classic Vanilla is my fave.  I know, I’m weird!

I ended up having a pretty productive day yesterday even if I didn’t do any projects or go shopping.  I do hope to be a tiny bit more productive than I was, but I guess we will see.  I’d really like to get some of the Halloween decorations up, but I guess we will see.  I also want to go to Kohl’s later to look at some boots.  Then there’s the regular house stuff that has to be done daily.  So, I guess all in all, today will be a rather boring day.  I had hoped to do some sort of playdate, but so far no one seems interested.  I don’t get that.  Why wouldn’t people want to get out and do something fun over Fall Break?  Especially since ours is so short.  But oh well, like I’ve said before, we haven’t made a whole lot of friends here.  And the couple we do have seem to always be busy or sick.  BLEH.  Still going to have oldest head outside later to burn off some steam and his Dad said he may take him to the park when he gets up to go fly a kite.

Did I mention to you ladies that I had cut my hair and colored it?  I couldn’t remember if I did or not…  Anyways, I went in and got a trim and it feels SO much better.  Really, the most that was cut off was my bangs.  They had grown out a lot.  I can measure how fast the rest of my hair is growing by them.  I’m going at a pretty good rate right now!  So, it was nice to go in and get a good, clean trim.  Pretty much the only place I will go steadily since moving here.  That is TWO decent cuts I’ve gotten and she is FAST.  So fast that I could even take the kids if I had to.  She’s young, but I really feel like this is her THING because you can tell she enjoys it.  I hope she stays there!  LOL  Anyways, after the cut, I decided to go ahead and color.  I tried to find some protein spray to fill in any possible gaps in my hair before I colored, but I wasn’t very successful in finding one that was not only good but cost effective.  My hair isn’t severely damaged, so I didn’t need any of the creams or anything.  As a matter-of-fact, she mentioned how great a shape my hair was in.  Really no split ends, not dry, and just overall healthy hair.  Even though I color and blow-dry.  So, didn’t find any… didn’t buy any… decided that the best course of action was to dye it brown to give me a better base and then put the red back on top to keep my red deeper.  Well, I used my dark brown and yeah… my hair is black.  It SAYS brown almost black, but it’s BLACK.  I don’t hate it.  I don’t truly love it either but I sure don’t hate it.  Honestly, it’s not too bad.  Matches my eyebrows pretty close.  I only used one box and now that my hair is longer, I really do need to use two.  So, you can still see a hint of red.  My hubby has been calling it Black Cherry.  LOL  I think I may keep it this way for a bit or put some highlights in and then the red on top.  I am thinking that the dark would stay almost black like it is with a hint of red and the lighter pieces would be a lighter shade of red.  We will see.  It will really depend on how I feel about it later.  But for now, going to keep it dark and probably be a classic witch for Halloween.  TEEHEE

I noticed something annoying yesterday.  My clothes are awful.  I think if I got rid of everything that I no longer liked, my closet would be empty except for the few items I’ve bought randomly over the last couple of months.  Looking at my old Fall clothes from about 2yrs. ago, most of them are outdated, not what I like anymore, or just no longer fit right.  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I don’t really want to spend a ton of money on new things, but I also don’t want to NOT have clothes I like.  It’s just frustrating that I really don’t like the things I have.  Maybe I should get out today and hit a couple of thrift stores and see what I can find.  Maybe the things I have just need to be re-vamped or something.  UGH.

OH!  My weight was 192 this AM!  I think that is the lowest I’ve been since I started dieting since youngest was born.  I hope it holds until Sunday!  LOL  I still secretly hope to be under 190 this weigh-in, but I can be patient.  I can do this nice and slow.  :)  It’s worth it to me to be a permanent change.

Speaking of, I’ve been reading several new blogs and trying to be supportive.  I hope that people feel I’m being supportive and not trying to shoot down their dreams.  But I do worry that some people are unrealistic in the weight-loss goals and setting themselves up to be upset.  It’s great to have goals, but reality is that sometimes you just don’t lose at the pace you’d like and you have to come to accept that sometimes the journey really IS the reward.  I’d rather do this right and slow and have my goal to be that I was balanced and met my plan that week than the goal of a huge loss and then being upset and falling off the wagon.  1 to 2lbs. per week really is healthy and normal.  You could possibly even do a bit more if you’re really active.  But I think too many people see these diet and weight loss shows and ’success’ stories and think they can drop a pound a day.  Not realizing that 1) these people usually have a HUGE amount of weight to lose and 2) they are Dr. monitored and 3) that type of eating/exercising is NOT doable in real life.  THAT is what I’ve taken away from those shows.  You will, once in a while, have someone lose that weight at home, but it’s not often.  More often than not, the people that are successful at losing weight and most importantly successful at keeping it off, are those that are balanced and lose it nice and slow.  I’d rather be part of that category.  If I continue to live and continue to have my relaxed days but being more good than bad, I will still get to enjoy food, wine, sweets, whatever and STILL LOSE.  Will those that starved or killed themselves to get there feel the same?  Will you feel HAPPY about your journey?  Or will you look back on that time of weightloss as a time of deprivation, starving, and somewhat anger?

At one point, I think I would’ve been that way, but this time has been different.  Not just in counting calories but the WHOLE journey since January.  Well, really December of last year.  I’ve had ups and downs, but through it all I have kept going and that is the difference.  I have come  to the realization that slow and steady has got to be how it is.  I know for some that just getting it off is their goal and that’s fine if that is what works for you.  But for me, figuring out a lifestyle and diet I can live with for the rest of my life is more important than immediate satisfaction.  Are there times I forget this and just wish I was thinner?  HECK YEAH!  But I keep reminding myself of where I’m going and what life is right now.  I refuse to not enjoy life right this minute just because I’m a bit bigger than I want to be.  I’m going to live my life, make my changes, and keep right on truckin’ slow and steady.  I just hope I don’t lose sight of that on my bad days!  LOL

OK, well, I’ve rambled on long enough so I think I am going to jump off of here for now and get to work on this house and some other things.  Hope you chicks have a great weekend!

 

10/13 October 13, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 10:32 am

Bleh.  Couldn’t think of a creative title.  LOL  So, we’ll just go with what the date is.  Yeah, that’s what we’ll do!

I’m sitting here enjoying my latte.  YUM.  I added it up yesterday and the whole thing is 100 cals.  It usually takes me ALL day to drink it since it’s pretty much equal to drinking around 8 cups of coffee.  But I need it today.  I got more sleep last night than I had, but still feel a bit drained.  He only got up once last night, but he started crying right at my bedtime so I got to bed a bit late since I wanted to wait a bit and see if he went back to sleep.  Once he did (after only a couple of minutes! :D ) I waited a bit to make sure he was good and out and then I went in to check him.  He was out.  So, I took out his bottle, made sure his paci was in there, covered him up, and finally got off to bed.  But all in all, I think it added more than 30mins.  So, I got to bed a bit late, then he was up at 5 and again at 7.  The hubby had just gotten home at 7, so he went in to get him.  Said he rocked him for a bit and he went back to sleep but wouldn’t take his bottle.  I told him cause he’d just had one at 5.  LOL  He slept for about 30mins. and was up for the day.

So, I only got one stretch of about 4hrs. of sleep.  Which is fine, but I do better with just a bit more.  Going to aim to be in bed at 11 tonight.  Which means I need to turn off the pute and be winding down by 10:15.  Maybe 10.  We will see.  But it seems like if I try to go to bed earlier than 11, youngest is up a hundred times.  I really prefer to go to bed around 11, but when hubbs is on nights, I have a hard time with it.  I really am more of a night person but I have to work on a day person’s schedule with the kiddos.  I don’t know why I’m such a night person.  I somewhat wish I was more like hubby and enjoyed being up in the wee hours of the morning.  But I never have.  I’ve tried, but it just never sticks.  I can do it for MONTHS and the minute I no longer have to, I fall back into my old patterns.  So, I have to somewhat put myself on a set schedule all of the time.

Back to my point, as a result of lack of sleep, my weight this AM was 194.  I was hoping to see 193 or lower.  But I was afraid I might be up since it was late last night when I went to bed.  I even thought that while crawling into bed.  I wonder if I could take a nap today while youngest is napping and put on a movie for oldest.  I think a quick nap would do me a world of good.  I really don’t think I ate horrible yesterday so no reason for my weight to be up.  Although, I did have 3 cookies.  However, totally in my cal. count.  Maybe it was the chicken?  I think I over salted it.  Bleh, I think it’s sleep!  LOL  See?  My brain is like mush and I’m rambling.  Cause my cals were good yesterday.  I might have gone over a smidge with dinner, but only by like 60 cals.  Not enough for a gain.  Yup.  I was good yesterday.  Got in lots of fruit and veg and water.  Not to mention, I actually remembered my vitamins!

BTW, have you ever eaten fresh pineapple?  I bought fresh at the store the last time I went and MAN OH MAN is it GOOD.  It’s not the first I’ve had it, but I’m always surprised when people say they’ve never tried it.  I had some with breakfast yesterday.  Then green beans with potatoes and a small salad at lunch, dinner was fried apples.  So, lots of good stuff.  I think I will do even more veggies today.  I am thinking a big salad for lunch and then either one of my LC’s for dinner or just some more chicken or something.  YUM YUM!  I will just have to wait and see what strikes my fancy!

Well, I guess I will bring this to an end and do something with my day.  Probably more laundry.  LOL  Seems there is always laundry… and dishes.  I should probably scrub down the bathroom, too.  At least the tub.  And if I find my mojo, work on at least one project.  Not sure which project, but something.  I’m out chicks — happy dieting!!!

 

HEH. Finally! October 12, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 11:23 am

193.5 this AM.  Only half a pound higher than my last official weigh-in before Mt. Bloaty set in.  LOL  It hung around for 5 straight days!  And then yesterday I felt like all I DID was PEE.  So, I’m glad to finally be flushing the crap out.  I am hoping that this means that come Sunday, I may actually see a loss.  Yay!  I am really hoping to be in the 180’s by the end of the month.  Of course, with Halloween around the corner, it may not happen.  But, I can try!  And no matter what, I’m less this month than I was last month.  And definitely less this month than I was this month last year!  Yes, I am trying to stay annoyingly positive!  LOL

Yesterday I took a lazy day.  I was just in no mood to really do anything!  So far, I haven’t done much today, either, but I plan on doing some dishes and laundry here in a bit.  I wish I could finish putting up the Halloween stuff, but it’s rainy and dreary out.  BLEH.  So, can’t really do that.  Although, I may put a few things up in the house like the window murals and whatnot.  That way those are at least done!  I only have every mural in the world to put up.  LOL  We really love Halloween!

I don’t have much to talk about today, but since this is part of my ‘routine’, I didn’t want to not do it again.  I was just too lazy to do it yesterday.  I don’t plan on being lazy today or for the next few days, but I guess we will see.  Oldest has Fall Break, but we don’t have plans.  I just hope I can work on a few things even with him home and hubby sleeping.  We will see.  I don’t want to get my hopes too far up.  LOL

Well, the hubbs is up now so I guess I better get rolling.  Have a great day, chicks!

 

The 196 Blues October 10, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 11:55 am

OK, well, I’m not really blue.  But, it sorta sounded good!  LOL  AND, I am actually 196 again today.  Yesterday was my relaxed day, so I had actually thought I might be up even more than that.  But the truth is… I didn’t eat much.  We went out for brunch so I ended up just having that and didn’t even eat all of it.  I wasn’t hungry until late and then I had an apple with some PB.  Dinner was meatball sandwiches and chips with dip.  I found these amazing turkey meatballs at Kroger.  SO good!  The only thing is… they’re huge!  NO JOKE.  I’m sure they are normal meatball size, but it’s SUCH a pain to try to eat them.  I am seriously thinking that if we use them for pasta that I will be cutting them down.  And for sandwiches, they will get halved.  But the cals are really good.  I think these will become a staple.  Going to watch for them to go on sale and then LOAD UP.  Those, a salad and some mashed potatoes… YUM.  And at 160 cals for 6, WOW.  Yup.  So glad I found them!

So, instead of my weight being up more, I’m the same.  I’m ok with that.  I don’t feel up or down about it really.  I would’ve liked to have seen a loss, but I know something is going on and I just want to ride it out.  I’ve just been doing this too long to let every little jump or dip drive me nuts.  I just have to do what I have to do and get on with it, ya know?  And the thing is, I know that the numbers are literally all in my head.  When someone on the street looks at me, they can’t see those tiny weight changes.  People just recently noticed my loss and from my highest every, I’m down like 30lbs.!  And from my most recent high, 20.  So, I just keep remembering that most of these numbers that I see are just that.  What I see.  No one else sees a number when they see me and I have to stop living my life based on that number.  If it were going up and up and up, that would be different.  But I AM working on it and doing my best.  I know if I stick with it, I will see some changes.

Hubby goes back to work the middle of this week so I will be getting on a better schedule.  Right now, we eat mostly together and like I said, I’ve done pretty well.  But this weird bloating… yeah.  If it is in fact ovulating, that should be passing soon.  That means my next weigh-in could be good.  :)  I am hoping the bloat starts to pass and that I will see a loss come Sunday.  Even if it is a small loss!  I need a good weigh-in this Sunday seeing as how once I get close to starting my cycle, well, the bloat will begin all over again.  BLEH!  LOL

Well, I guess I should get off of here and get going.  I need to caulk and paint the soffit in the front if the rain holds off, run to JCPenney’s, and stop by Kroger.  I don’t have to go into the school today since oldest took his first round of snacks in all by himself!  He’s so cute!  Growing so fast.  *sigh*  Time just goes by so fast, but he makes me so proud.

OH!  Family Affair, just wanted to say thanks for the reminder about trying customer service.  I will do that first but if they won’t give it to me, then I will just return.  It was only two items… two pairs of jeans for oldest.  So, it’s not a huge ordeal.  Just wish I hadn’t forgotten it.  I wish I had more time to look for me, but you know how that goes.  Maybe if I get up and get going, I COULD look for a bit.  TEEHEE!  OK OK, I am off of here for now.  Later chicks!

 

Ended Better October 9, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 4:52 pm

Man oh MAN did yesterday start out rough.  The hubbs was in a FOUL place and well, it pretty well rubbed off on me and the kids.  But once he FINALLY out and chilled out, the day went better.  My parents got here and loved on him and told him how great the house was looking and asked about how school was going.  Then we got youngest down for a nap and my Mom and I got out to run around for a bit.  After that, we came back, had a nice dinner, and just visited and played.  So, the day ended a MUCH better way than it started off.

Today has been a busy day.  I wanted to go out for breakfast since today is my relaxed day and I can have what I want.  I had a coupon, too!  So, we did that and went to a couple of the Halloween stores PLUS JCPenney’s who was having a sale… but I left my coupon for them at home!  BOO.  So, I may return the stuff later and re-buy with the coupon.  I know that sounds silly, but if I am out and over there, I will go to the trouble to save the almost $7.  Just wish I had taken it with me earlier!  If I don’t go back out and over that way, I won’t fool with it.  No point in wasting extra time and gas.  But, I am thinking I will have to run back out to the store later tonight for dog food and school snacks.  Can’t believe I forgot those the other day!  JCPenney’s is literally one mile down the road from there so I might as well do it.

Now, we’re all at home and I’m putting my feet up.  But not for long… I need to pick up a bit.  Ok, did that real quick.  Needed to do that to make some headway in the mess.  It wasn’t BAD, but it was stacking up.  For some reason, when we have company, it gets out of hand before we know it!  So, I filled and ran the dishwasher, cleaned off all of the counters, and even straightened up the island.  Now I just need to pick up a bit off the floor (gotta love toys!) and run the vacuum.  Hopefully I can wipe down the island here in a bit — oldest needs to clean his stuff off of it!  I also need to clean the stove, but I am going to wait and do that tonight after I make dinner.  It’s not bad, just needs a wipe down.  Going to scrub down the bathroom tomorrow and maybe do a load of laundry.  I need to fold some tonight.  The rest of tomorrow will be dedicated to some painting.  I want to get a second coat of paint on the front soffit tomorrow.  That is my only goal!  If I am able to do anymore than that, that will be awesome!  Trying to decide if I should do any caulking… I don’t think I need to, but I know that the gutter guys caulked where they painted.  Why, I’m not sure.  But I might as well if it will make it more water-tight.  I know one seam is loose and I for sure want to do that, but the rest I am thinking of not doing.  Going to double check my book tonight and see if it is suppose to be done or not.  I think they did it to make it easier to paint.

My weigh-in this AM was as I suspected… not good.  196.  I’ve been 196 for several days now.  I’m not really sure why.  My weight had gone up a bit and then we did date night, but that was Thursday.  I really thought that by this morning, it would go back down.  But instead, it went up to 196 and has sat there.  And on top of that, I am SWOLLEN.  I just don’t know why I’m SO swollen.  My feet are so swollen that they are painful to walk on in my shoes.  Just flat footed around the house I am fine, but when I was out earlier, my wedges started to pinch and they weren’t tight when I got them.  I think I am just going to chalk it up to ovulating and the hubby being home.  My weight seems to almost always go up at this time no matter what plan I’m doing or how ‘on plan’ I am.  I’m not sure if it is hormones or the fact that we eat saltier food when he is here.  No idea.  But I have decided not to dwell on it.  I am just going to keep focusing on my goal and be on it tomorrow.  So far today I’ve just had breakfast and that was around 11 this AM.  But I am starting to get hungry now and it is almost 5.  I was going to have a snack, but I am SO close to dinner I am thinking of waiting.  But I don’t want to get overly hungry.  Maybe I’ll just have some multi-grain chips and salsa.  YUM.  I really need to decide on dinner, though.  I am thinking it will be some sort of meat, salads, and a baked potato.  Guess we will see.  I really want a potato!  I had wanted one last night, but I just didn’t have the cals for it.  I did eat 3 bites of mac-n-cheese and a roll, so I had carbs but just didn’t want to overdo with a roll AND a potato.

I am really hoping for my weight to go back down pretty quick.  I had SORTA hoped to see 191 this week, but after date night, I had been afraid that it wouldn’t happen.  But considering I was good Friday and Saturday, I am still happy with my week.  I just hope this IS bloat and goes back down soon!  I hate feeling all… PUFFY.  BLEH.

Well, the day is dragging on and now I must bring this to an end and move on to something else!  Like, decorating for Halloween!  We want to decorate a bit tonight before we run out of time.  I wish the house could’ve been done sooner so that we could have decorated then.  But oh well, it is what it is.  Oh, and quickly, just wanted to say I finished the first chapter of my book.  It’s rough, but it’s done.  Like I said before, I don’t really plan on publishing, but I like getting these stories out of my head.  Almost as relaxing as blogging!  LOL  Enjoy what is left of the weekend and onwards we go to next!  :D

 

Bad Mood October 8, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 10:11 am

Me?  No.  Hubby?  Yes.  And it’s on my nerves.  I went to bed in a good mood and woke up a bit tired, but in a good mood none-the-less.  AND, my parents are coming to visit today.  But here I sit feeling like crying because my husband is in a foul mood and says he feels like he’s wasted his time off.  Well, gee, thanks!  So glad that having our date night and finishing up with the contractor yesterday and helping with the kiddos while I ran errands and doing your schoolwork was a waste of time!  I admit I was annoyed yesterday, but after having the night to think it over and chill, I realized that all in all, even if it wasn’t THE most productive, at least we got some things tied up and now we can move on to other things.  And it’s only Sunday.  We have today, tomorrow and and then another couple of days after that to do things.  I’m not sure what we’re doing today, but I had hoped it would be something good.  Now I am betting it won’t be anything.  We’ll probably end up spending the day here since he feels like being an ass.  I don’t know WHY men think that if yesterday sucked and wasn’t what they wanted that instead of making the best of today they just want so sit and bitch about it!!!  Duh — you’re wasting another day.  BLEH.

So, now I am feeling in a foul mood and just feel like calling my parents and telling them to not bother with coming up.  I want to see them, but not when my husband is being a grouch.  Maybe me and the kiddos should just go down by ourselves.  That way grump ass can sit here and do whatever he wants.  That sounds like the best plan of action, but it’s after 10 so I am sure that they have left already.  She said they would probably be up and heading out the door around 8.

I guess I should go get dressed then.  The kids are fighting, the husband is grumping, and my head is splitting.  Ready to throw the kids in the car and leave.  UGH.  Hope you ladies have a better weekend than what mine is starting out as.

 

UP October 7, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 10:29 am

My weight is up this AM.  194 to be exact.  But I’ve been on plan the last two days, so I’m not worried.  It could be sodium, it could be the running around or previous lack of sleep, or could even be that I am ovulating.  Either way, I am CHOOSING not to be upset because I KNOW I’ve been doing what I am suppose to do.  My dinner was a bit high last night, but I avoided a late snack and only had hot chocolate.  With real milk and chocolate!  Only 105 cals!  Woot!  Anyways, I know my cals are right where they should be so I’m not going to worry too much.

However, tonight is date night!  So far, we aren’t sure what we’re doing, but I am pretty sure it will involve a nice dinner out.  Our last few date nights have been to just go shopping or bowling or something, so I know tonight will more than likely be a nicer night out.  I am not going to worry about calories or any of that.  I’m going to order what I want, enjoy in moderation, and relax.  I refuse to stress out over date night!  LOL

Will I pay for this come Sunday?  Maybe.  If I do, I do.  Progress not perfection.  I wish I could remember where I first read that so I could give them their due credit.  But Lord knows it struck a cord with me and I’m sure with many others.  Life isn’t about just dieting and restriction — it’s about relaxation, time with the ones we love, and living a little.  Not that dieting and watching food intake is bad, but it’s ok to take some time off from it once in a while.  It just can’t be a habit.  It can’t be to where EVERY day is a day off and every meal a free for all.  Because even if you’re having a bad day, having a couple of good meals makes all the difference.  Even if you ‘fall off the wagon’ and end up eating half a pie at lunch, if your other meals/snacks were good, then you still have made progress…  you didn’t put a bunch of other useless calories in your body.

I’ve been trying to dig around emotionally like MissCatty and find if there are any other little nooks of my persona that I need to deal with.  So far, I haven’t really found anything.  However, I have been noticing little changes in my personality and I’m not sure what has brought it on.  Originally I thought it might have been due to weightloss, but then my hubby pointed out that it didn’t really seem like that was it… it seemed more like it was my old self coming back.  And I must admit that here lately I do feel more and more like myself.  But what is it?  I think it’s that I am really coming to the place where I am content.  I have been telling myself since Spring that I am going to be content where I am in life and I am NOT going to constantly be wishing that things were different or only looking to the future.  I do want to plan for the future, but I want to LIVE in the NOW.  And my wants and needs for now are different than what they were just last year.  I think that everything in my life is being affected by the decision to be content.  I just never thought it would affect all of my life like it has.

**UPDATE**

Date night was great!  We did end up doing a bit of shopping and wandering around the mall.  We shared a plain coffee and a Pecanbon cinnamon roll thing.  Then we went to this great seafood place downtown.  I ordered a salad with basil vinaigrette, crab cakes, and spicey mac-n-spinach.  It was ALL good, but all I had was the darn salad!  I was so full from the salad and the bread rolls that we split I only ate a couple of bites of the crab cakes and the mac stuff.  I did have two drinks — one appletini and one glass of wine but I drank water the rest of the time.  It was great and relaxing and… I think I needed those drinks!  I felt so relaxed last night and I still feel good this AM.  I rarely drink or equate feeling good with alcohol, but up until last night, my back had been so tense I was literally moving around in pain.  But it’s gone!  I think it finally helped me relax enough to let those muscles unknot.  And some one on one time with the hubby didn’t hurt at all!  I finally got some new sunglasses and we looked at boots.  I never did find the boots I wanted, but running around the mall together like a couple of teenagers was fun.  :)  I love spending time with the hubby.  I think the next time we should do something he wants to do.  He says he likes the shopping (he likes current stuff, too!) but I am thinking something more along the lines of his interests.  Like, a car show or something.  Going to look into it.  Although, the last shopping trip was pretty much all about him!  LOL

BTW, my weight was 196 this AM, but I had expected that after going out.  Even though I didn’t eat horribly, the drinks and the higher sodium would make it bump up.  I’d already had a higher trend with my cycle as-is.  OH!  And for dessert last night we shared some key lime pie and hot cocoa.  YUM.  So, I completely expected to see my weight jump up.  Lots of water for the rest of the week and continue watching my food.  We’ll see what Sunday brings!

OK, off of here for now.  I need to get my grocery list finished and hit the store.  Busy busy busy!

 

So tired. October 4, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 11:43 am

I am feeling exceptionally tired today.  Not true.  I feel exhausted.  So exhaust6ed that every fiber of my body hurts.  Really.  I don’t know what the deal is but I just hurt and 5wish I could go lay down for like, 3 hours.  I feel like if I could, I’d feel much better.  I am seriously thinking of taking a nap when I pick up oldest.  I would take one now except younger will have no part of it.  And I’m afraid if I snooze, he will destroy the house.  I could put him in the playpen, but I hate to do that.  Feels… lazy and wrong.  But I am so tired I can hardly function.  Just typing this little bit is taking all of my energy.  But I have to do something to stay awake that doesn’t require much movement.  I am thinking I should chug more water and more coffee.  Water to keep my hydrated and make me need to pee.  Coffee for caffeine and peeing.  LOL  I hate being this tired.  I almost wish I had something to do just so that I would have to get out.  Being out of the house always helps, but I don’t really have any errands to do.  I don’t even need to go to the store!  LOL  That’s a rarity.  I’m sure in the next few days I will need to, but for now I am good.

On a good note, the scale said 192.5 this AM!  Woot!  I saw 192 at first and nearly had a stroke.  But the 192.5 makes more sense.  I am surprised because I did have a cupcake and pizza yesterday.  Granted, I only had half of the cupcake (it was pumpkin and more like a muffin) at breakfast with bacon and my usual fruit salad.  I had another half of the cupcake with coffee for my snack.  The pizza was one square ’slice’ and I had that with a salad.  Dinner was home-made stir-fry.  I guess all in all I WAS good and had what I wanted in moderation!  Saying I had pizza and a cupcake sounds bad until you look at the whole picture.  Oh, and I had a banana for a snack, too.  I had indigestion (probably from the pizza!) and the banana really helped!  :D  I’ll probably have the last slice of pizza today to finish cleaning out the leftovers from the fridge.  The pickings were slim yesterday.  Some old soup, part of a dry and slightly burnt grilled cheese, some old tuna, a few bites of random shepard’s pie, one slice of a canned peach. Usually we eat leftover’s pretty well, but this was mostly leftover’s of leftovers!  LOL  In other words, most were a few bites from where I had eaten leftover’s but couldn’t finish.  Sometimes I can put those bites back in there and eat them for snack or throw a bunch of them together for a small lunch.  But these were so random, I had no way to combine them.  Except for the soup and sandwich.  I ate that for a few days and just got burned out.  Shoulda made the hubby take them! LOL  But now other than some beans and a slice of pizza, the fridge is cleaned out.  I will give the beans to oldest tonight.  That means the leftover shelf will be clean!  :D  Now, what to make for dinner for the rest of us???

Feeling a bit more perked up.  Finished my 1st mug of coffee and I’m chugging 12oz. of water right now.  I will get another coffee after that and hopefully that will give me a boost to make it through the majority of the day.  I am also going to wash my hair here in a bit while youngest is having his lunch.  That should perk me up, too.  I know I will probably still start to crash around 5, but by then I am only a couple of hours away from hubby being home.  I guess we will just have to wait and see.

I guess that is all for now.  I need to get up and wash the hair, fold some clothes if I can muster the energy, get oldest from school, etc. and so on.  Later chicks.

 

GOAL! October 3, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 5:04 pm

I was so excited about hitting 193.0 yesterday that I didn’t even realize I’d hit one of my mini-goals!  Goal 5.  Woot!  3.5lbs. to my next mini-goal.  :D  I don’t know how I’ve missed that, but I did.  But I guess that is ok because it sorta gave me a topic for today’s blog.  I’m really excited about my next two goals.  I know it may seem silly, but I look forward to crossing them off of my little ‘Goals’ list.  I’m actually excited about the next 3.  The 30lb. goal is a big one, but the next one is really the one I am looking forward to.  Goal 8.  I haven’t seen 183.0 in so many years I’m not sure how I will feel.  I don’t expect to see that until December, but it’s still been on my mind.  And then it’s been hitting me that I really hope to be down in the 160’s come April of next year.  That’s if I continue to lose about a pound a week.  There’s 12 weeks left in this year and my Sunday weigh-in on April 1 would be the end of week 13 for the 2012 year.  That’s a possibility of 12 to 25lbs.  So, come Spring I could be in need of a whole new wardrobe.  Because if I DO average about a pound a week, that would put me in the 160’s.  Nothing I own currently would fit at that weight, I don’t think.  Maybe a few tops, but I will need basically a whole new wardrobe.  Even the tops would probably be too large.  All of my tops are XL right now except for a few plus size shirts that I bought large to wear as shirt-dresses or tunics.  I’ve taken every stitch of maternity out.  Then there are the shirts that are L that are from before I got preggo this last time.  Those are starting to fit now, but there aren’t a lot since I got pregnant shortly after I bought them.  As in, a month or two after!  But I will make them work as long as possible.  After that, I am not sure what it will be like to move to a smaller size.  I haven’t really worn a M as an adult.  I will be in all new territory.  But I don’t plan on buying anything until I have to.  At this point, I feel like I should stretch my current wardrobe as long and far as I can.  Part of the reason for the cami’s and the cardi’s.  I know I can wear those for a long time.

I’ve already noticed that my clothes are starting to fit differently.  One thing is my underwear.  My bra’s still fit about the same… maybe the band area is smoother.  But my undies are finally sitting right again.  I had noticed that many of them wanted to roll down in the waistband area.  Even my newer ones.  But now they sit smooth and feel comfy.  Also, my new jeans are fitting better and better.  But some of the old stuff is already starting to feel blah.  I have a couple of dresses and a couple of tops that are just getting TOO lose.  I love these clothes, but I am thinking that I am going to have to let them go at some point.  I feel like wearing clothes too big is as bad as wearing clothes too small — both make your size look off!  I’ll wear them while I can, but before long I know they will be more like tents than I am willing to deal with.  It drives me crazy when I have to constantly be pulling at my clothes.  A couple of pairs of my ‘jeggings’ are already starting to look that way so I may have to suck it up and buy new ones.  I really only wear them with oversized sweaters and boots.  But I wore them at my heaviest right after baby as my transition pants last year and this year, well, they are looking worn.  I am thinking new ones are the way to go at this point.  They are so stretched out!  But I got them on sale at JCPenney and I think they will be on sale again.  Maybe I can get them in short since the other pairs were so long!  I will also probably get a smaller size.  The ones I had were XL and stretched to the max.  I hope to be in the 180’s at the end of this month and if I am, I think I will get the pants in L.  Even if they are really snug, I really only wear them as leggings and not as pants so it would be fine and they would really help me transition my clothes a bit longer.  I don’t want to spend a fortune on clothes, but I’m not willing to look and feel like crap for it.

I ended up not taking it easy yesterday.  I’ve tried to today since I am so tired.  I just did a butt ton of housework yesterday.  One thing kept leading to another and I just kept going and going until I realized it was late and I should go to bed.  I’ve done a lot today, but not overkill like yesterday.  I don’t know what came over me!  I was just a cleaning MO-CHINE!  LOL  But at least I got a lot done.  But I’m glad I got so much done cause youngest was up a lot last night and well, I’m somewhat of a zombie today.  I’ve done stuff and played with youngest and I’m about to help oldest do his schoolwork, but I’m just out of it.  No energy.  I feel bad cause other than some snugglin’ and ticklin’, youngest has spent a lot of time watching TV today!  Of course part of the time he wasn’t watching or was eating and sleeping, but still.  Just been a boring sorta day.

Well, I guess I should be wrapping this up.  I might even write a bit.  I’ve decided to start trying to get some of my words ‘on paper’.  I always have great story ideas but I can never seem to get them down.  So, I decided that I should at least try.  I don’t think I will try to get published or anything, but I’d like to just get these stories down.  Off for now chicks.  Hope your week started off great!

 

End of month Weigh-in October 2, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 10:36 am

193.0!!!!!!!!!!!!  Woot!  That means I ended September with a loss of 4.0lbs.  :D  I know for many people they probably think, big whoop, 4.0lbs.  But for me, it’s a victory.  My weight is going down and I’m not killing, starving, or really depriving myself of anything.  I’m just making smarter choices, eating smaller portions, and trying to get into some sort of exercise routine.  The last hasn’t happened, yet, but I’m trying.  And the fact that I’m trying has got to count for something!  LOL

My measurements weren’t a big change, but I didn’t really expect one.  If I were working out more I would, but since I have no routine, I didn’t expect a huge change.  I hope to change that this month and start getting in more.  I only got one day of exercise in this week.  Well, one day of formal exercise.  I am relaxing today, but I hope to get more this coming week.  Not only in formal but also just staying busy.  Although, I would really like there to be more formal to help it become a habit.  The hubby will be off towards the end of the week so we plan on trying to get a few things done, maybe a family day, etc. and so on.  We will just have to see how it goes.  But I hope we can get a few projects done.  I’m tired of working on this house so I just want it finished.  The only way to do that is to finish them.  LOL  I want to do the outside and then we will work on other things.  Now that the gutters and things are almost done, I want to clean the yard really well, weed the flower beds, trim all the bushes and then put down a new THICK layer of pine needles to ‘winterize’ the beds.  I also want to extend one of the flower beds and I am trying to figure out how to do that without having to move all of the grass.  I may lay out some black plastic to kill it off.  I would rather do that than have to take all of it up.

Not much else going on.  I am just so ecstatic over the 193.  I’m actually sorta stunned.  I had thought that I wouldn’t go down THAT much from bloat.  I had secretly hoped, but I wasn’t sure it would happen, but I am SO glad!  I would’ve been happy with 194, but 193 was fantastic!  LOL  I haven’t seen 193 (for real) in a while now so I’m not sure what to expect from here.  If I lose 1lb. per week for the next month then that would put me in the 180’s by the end of Oct.  I don’t really want to expect that though because well… lots of Halloweeny stuff going on and I’m just not sure how it will fall.  And then there’s the fact that I get my cycle towards the end of each month.  Sorta hurts the monthy thing and sorta jacks up a week or two, but in the end it works out as it should.  According to the online calculator, week 40 of the year starts tomorrow.  That means 12 weeks left in the year.  That’s a potential of 6 to 12lbs. I could lose (realistically) by the end of the year.  I’m ok with that!

Ok, well, I am going to tie this up and get off of here.  I want to check a few things, find a good book, get laundry going, and have a nice relaxing day before the craziness of the evening starts.  Hope all you chicks out there have had a great weekend!  Oh, and for those asking, youngest is doing fine.  His chin has healed really fast and his finger is looking better each day.  However, he fell at the birthday party yesterday and busted his lip.  If it isn’t one thing, it’s another!  LOL

 

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