Yearning for… MYSELF.

Cause I’m not sure who this fat chick is!

A few days October 29, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 12:28 pm

Yes, it’s been a few days since I’ve posted.  We’ve been BUSY!  VERY busy!  LOL  I think the last time I posted was the 25th, which was Tuesday.  I believe that was the day I did some cleaning and then started painting in the foyer.  I got the first coat up of cut-in and roll on in the top section.  All but one tiny section!  Woot!  The smell, though, was horrid.  It is exterior paint, but we used it inside.  It was an ‘Oops’ paint from Wally and well, they had told me in the past that with oops paint, they couldn’t always replicate the color.  So, we decided to just use it.  So far, it looks great and thankfully it dried fast and the smell disappeared quickly, too.  Even faster than what the regular paint does.  And the color is fantastic!  I really do wish that we knew the same.  I’d call it mud clay.  Very warm and earthy.  Goes great with the other copper walls.  I can’t wait to have everything done!  I have been so busy I haven’t gotten to get back to it and finish, but when it’s done, it will be GREAT!

Wednesday it was gorgeous out and the hubb’s first day off.  So, he was TIRED.  We ended up playing out in the yard with the kiddos for the evening after he got his second wind.  We ended the night with Scrabble!  I had some tea and pretzels… who would’ve thought they’d be so good together?  LOL

Thursday was school, Dr., back to school, home, pick-up, then out to the pumpkin patch for a hayride, a couple of pumpkins, mine-shaft slides, tractor peddle cars, rat race tubes, corn pool, bounce house, air pillow, and finally a corn maze!  All I ate was a corn dog and some puffed caramel corn.  SO good but SO full of cals!  I’m sure I burned it off on the tractors!  LOL  We went out for dinner but I got a salad and only ate about half.  But truth is, I was darn near starved!  I tried to be on plan, but I’m sure that salad was calorie filled due to the caesar dressing.  I will ask for it on the side next time!  Then it was home and time for Scrabble with the hubbs again.  We had some hot chocolate and popcorn.  YUM.

Yesterday was Friday and the Fall Party at school.  I was great there!  I had a small fiber bar and coffee before getting there and ate NO snacks!  However, I had errands to run after that and thought I’d get home to have lunch.  I didn’t.  And then the hubbs had issues with getting youngest down so I ended up picking up oldest from school and taking him with me for the rest of the errands.  It was nice Mommy and oldest time, but he wanted DD so we went and got that.  I had a latte and two donuts!  :O  But that was my lunch.  I won’t lie… eating yesterday was horrid!  I had 4 donuts total!  But I did manage to stay away from the candy other than two bites sized Whopper packs which was 6 small Whoppers.  Dinner was chili, but I didn’t like it.  I love my hubby, but his chili was NOT good.  I had it with some chips and cheese and it was still awful.  Too bland, too many beans, and almost slimy.  Going to ‘Doctor’ it up this afternoon with some more tomatoes (that I INSISTED he pour in last night after I had some), probably some green peppers, and more water.  Hopefully I can perk it up so it isn’t wasted.  It just was… bad.  BLEH.  If I hadn’t been so hungry from only having the two donuts at lunch, I would’ve fixed it last night!  On a good note, I did a TON of walking!  A TON.  Hopefully in the end it all balanced out.  But today I started off with a nice English muffin with SB butter, a couple of thin slices of low sodium bacon, and a big bowl of fruit.  Plus my coffee.  I probably will eat the last donut.  Although, maybe I won’t.  We will see.  I probably shouldn’t!  LOL  I think it will depend on if I can fix this darn chili!  HA!

What is on the agenda for today?  CLEANING AND LAUNDRY!  I do have a few things to do outside, but oldest is going to help me out whether he wants to or not.  He NEEDS to pick up all of his toys in the back yard and put them away.  Then I am going to have him feel the ‘ghost lanterns’ with two scoops of rocks so we can put them out on Monday.  But more than anything, I need to do some laundry.  We are ok and so is youngest since I got all of that caught up, but oldest needs almost everything he owns washed!  LOL  However, I didn’t want to do it until we got his room cleaned today so I have somewhere to put his stuff!  I am going to purge it out today — too many things he doesn’t even wear!  Some things are just too small.  We have to get it cleaned out — his closet is STUFFED.  Today is the day!  I did it back over the summer, but it needs it again already.  UGH.

As for my weight… I still haven’t checked it and I am trying to decide if I want to check it on Sunday or wait until the official last day of the month… Monday.  Or if I should wait and weigh Tuesday AM?  I don’t know why I am being so weird.  I guess I just feel like Oct. was a lost month so what is the point, ya know?  My hormones threw my whole schedule off and then this week has been one thing after another.  *sigh*  I know I should probably just suck it up and do it.  I guess I will Sunday… tomorrow.  No point in holding it off.  Might as well suck it up and see the number!

Well, I guess I should get off of here and get going with my day.  I’ve got the chili on and hoping to get it fixed up for dinner.  Going to do a few other things and get started on oldest’s room.  Have a great rest of the weekend chicks!

 

Good October 25, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 11:00 am

I FINALLY got some good sleep last night!  So, I am feeling better today.  Not sure what to do with it today, but I am VERY happy not to feel so zombie like.  We went back to our regular schedule yesterday and well, he slept almost through the night.  I think the old schedule may have been a pain, but at least for the most part it worked.  So, I guess that is what we will stick with.  Either way, I am feeling MUCH better and glad that I was finally able to get some rest.  Did I mention we didn’t get up until 9?  So, yeah, I’ve not even been up an hour!  LOL  Unusual for sure.  If I hadn’t been so tired, I’d have just stayed up after I got oldest to school.  If he continues to sleep like this, I may actually be able to start working out in the AM.  :D

Thanks for the comments andly!  I do feel sometimes like I should be perky and positive.  Mostly because, well, if I’m not in a positive mood, seems like no one is.  You know the old saying if Momma ain’t happy… it’s very true in our house!  So, I try to keep up a positive outlook and mood even if I don’t always feel it.  Fake it till ya make it and all that jazz!  Most days, it works and I end up making the best of whatever is there.  However, there are times when I just can’t get it together.  Yesterday was one of those days.  Exhaustion does weird and terrible things to me.  I get weepy and morbid and sad.  BLEH.  Not how I like to feel AT ALL!  Very glad to feel a bit better today and not so down!

I still didn’t weight this AM though.  I think I will just wait and do my weigh-in on Sunday as usual.  I’ve somewhat made a plan for our outings and things, and they involve attempting to be prepared.  Thursday, for the pumpkin patch, we’re going to eat before we go.  I’m actually going to go ahead and have everything ready before I even pick oldest up.  We’re going to eat, pack a snack with us, and then head out.  I plan on taking my big bottle of water.  We’re going to play and run around and have all kinds of fun!  I plan on eating fairly light for the day before we go.. well, light on cals.  But hopefully lots of fruit and veg.  That way if we DO end up getting something there (mmmm… fresh cider!) then I have the cals for them.  :)  I am thinking of making a crockpot meal for that night or some sort of casserole so that it’s ready to eat when we get home.  For Friday, I volunteered to do the story, so I won’t have to deal with the food!  :D  The party is early, so I won’t have to be faced with it.  Not to mention, most of the foods/snacks they asked for were healthy varieties.  For that night… well… I think I will just not eat anything while we are walking around.  Then when we get in, I may allow myself a couple of pieces.  I don’t think a couple of pieces of candy will hurt me too much.  Besides, progress not perfection.  :)  I want to still enjoy life, ya know?  We’re even dressing up — I decided since the hair came out black to be an old fashioned witch!

So, that’s the plan!  Not sure what will be going on Sat.  My parents talked about coming up for a visit, but we will see.  I thought about going down there if they don’t come up here, but it sounds like they are going to be busy.  I should probably do something this weekend!  LOL  Lots of stuff going on in our area so we will see.

Well, I guess that’s it for now.  It’s almost 11 now (I stopped to eat and feed youngest!), so I really should go and get started with some housework.  I am also thinking about working on at least one project today.  The supplies are already here, so it wouldn’t be too bad.  I also need to make a couple of phone calls and order the stair rugs.  Fun fun.  Hope you ladies are having a great week!

 

Very Tired. October 24, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 12:38 pm

I am VERY tired today.  I think all in all, I got around 3 hours last night and well… that’s just not enough.  I’m managing to go on with the day, but I’m slow.  Like, right now it’s lunch time and normally I’m done with this by now.  But I just haven’t been able to talk myself into doing it!  I did manage to make youngest and I some breakfast, get all the emails cleaned out, and do FB.  But I have yet to do anything else.  Guess it is REALLY good that I was so productive yesterday!  And I was VERY productive!  I scrubbed down the bathroom like no one’s business and then gave the kitchen a good clean down, too.  I straightened up youngest’s room and then folded up laundry and straightened up the hubb’s and I’s room and closet.  I had hoped to work on a project today, but I am DARN tired.  I may still try, but if I feel off, I won’t.  As far as chores go, only wanted to get some laundry sorted and started today and dusting.  That’s about it!  Oh, and put out the rest of the Halloween stuff, which isn’t but a few odds and ends.  I wouldn’t waste the time except for oldest helped to make some of them, so I want him to get to proudly display his spooky stuff!  :D

Other than that, same ol’ same ol’.  I didn’t weigh today and I don’t know when I will.  Yes, I still want to lose weight, but my hormones have been so out of whack this last month that I don’t want to focus on the number right now.  I’ll probably do my weigh-in on Sunday just because it’s the last one for this month.  But honestly, I’m not sure what the scale will say.  I’m going to do the best I can this week with the Fall activities and whatnot.  I know that we’re going to the pumpkin patch one day, Fall party one day, and then of course the actual Halloween stuff like Freaky Friday.  FUN.  Just tons of stuff.  I do want to have fun, but I also don’t want to go nuts.  I don’t think the party will be a big deal or even Freaky Friday.  The pumpkin patch with it’s baked goods and fresh cider is what worries me!  LOL  I’m going to try to make sure I eat before I go and take a snack, but I know what my weakness is and it’s fresh made foods.  I’m a southern girl, after all!  So, not sure what that will reflect.

I am a bit down, but it’s not about my weight and I’m trying to just get on with life.  It’s mostly about my social situation here that I’ve gone on and on about in previous posts so no need to rehash it now.  The exhaustion weighs on me, too.  So, overall not feeling my normal perky self but there is only so much I am willing to deal with at once and the number right now is not my priority.  I just want to go on doing the best I can and hope that by doing my best, it pays off.  The other things that are out of my control, well, I’m handing them over to God and moving on.

That’s all for today ladies.  Sorry I’m not more upbeat.  But not worries — I’m still pushing on and will continue to update when I can.

 

Yup yup October 23, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 3:55 pm

Yup yup… as I said, I didn’t weigh this AM.  Although, I don’t think it would’ve mattered.  We got to the Fall Fest late, so we didn’t do any eating there.  Just drank water and did lots of walking around.  When we did eat, it was at McD’s.  I had the McDouble and a small fry and drank a ton of water.  After that, we went to the Public Market for their Fall Fest thing which was really a disappointment.  We still tried to have a good time, but it wasn’t what it was put out to be.  But truthfully, the day had started off with having to work on the truck, so we were just happy to get out and about even though we’d had a not so good start.  We didn’t eat anything at the Public Market, really.  Oldest had a cookie and I had a chocolate chip out of that, but it didn’t taste great so I didn’t eat anymore.  After that, we came on home and I had some coffee and one cookie, but it was only 160 so I was ok with that.  Dinner was more Chinese.  I should’ve just cooked some, but we ordered out with our coupon.  LOL  I had this chicken and veggie thing.  I use to get this General Tso’s but it’s heavily covered in bread, deep fried, and then rolled around in this really sweet but spicey dark red sauce and had hardly any veggies in it.  So I go the Empress Chicken last night and I like it a LOT more!  WAY more veggies and the sauce isn’t so sweet.  YUM.  I didn’t eat any rice, only one crab rangoon, and a couple of bites of lo mein.  YUM.  But all in all, not too bad.  I wish I had gotten some soup, though.  LOVE soup.  Think I will make some soup today since we have lots of veg.  May use cauli instead of peppers, though, because the last few batches of soup have given me heartburn.  I do use a lot of onion and bell pepper, so maybe a bit less onion, just one pepper, and fill in the rest with carrot, cauli, and celery.  Making myself hungry!  LOL

Today, I’m not sure what I will do if anything.  I know I should probably do something, but the last week has worn on me especially with having my cycle.  Utter craziness is what I feel like.  I do need to make it to the store and I also need to brainstorm on a better way to store all of my oldest’s art supplies.  They are taking over!  There are paper and supplies everywhere.  Normally I’m darn good at coming up with ideas, but so far my brain is empty.  Then again, I haven’t thought THAT hard on it.  So, need to work on that today!!!  Not doing it, just coming up with ideas.  I want something simple and cheap and most of all, easy for him to clean it up on his own.  THAT’s the big thing.  I’m going to start going through toys and things tomorrow to get rid of.  I’m SICK of all this stuff laying around.  Half of which neither of them ever play with.  I am also going to get some totes to use to trade out toys.  I bought about 20 back in the middle of summer just to have when I need and replace some old broken ones.  So, I’m going to do that.  I just want my motivation to do it.  Hopefully this last month has just been a weird hormone month and I will be able to get back to it now.  :)

Well, I don’t want to keep rambling on and on, so going to bring this to an end.  Hope you chicks have had a great day!

 

Weird. October 22, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 11:46 am

I’ll get to my title here in a bit.  But first, response to comments!  :D

2hotinhere and andly:  I love coffee!  In every shape and form — even as ice cream!  YUM!  So, I can take it just about any way you can make it!  I actually use to drink it black all of the time and didn’t get into adding any cream or anything until I was older and was introduced to Starbucks.  Starbuck’s black coffee is AWFUL so I got to where I drank the sweetened and flavored.  Now I’m thinking it may be time to go back to plain ol’ coffee.  I will still sweeten it, but I think I won’t use creamer.  I will still use milk/cream in latte’s, obviously, but I want to get back to enjoying coffee without it being so watered down!  So, coffee with sugar may be my new norm.  Going to try it out here in a bit.  :)  I’ll get back to you on whether or not I can handle it now!  HA!

My weight this AM was 194.0 and that is what I am going to count this week.  Today is the Fall Festival and all that jazz, so I know my weight will be weird tomorrow.  We will be out of the house the good majority of the day and will probably eat dinner out.  Besides, I don’t think I will be down.  Why?  Because my cycle started early.  Like, somewhere between 4 and 6 whole days.  I’m sorry if this is TMI, so skip over this whole paragraph if this sort of stuff bothers you.  Anyways, my cycle usually runs right at 30 days.  Sometimes 29 and sometimes 31, so an average of 30.  But this time, I started at 26 days.  I was afraid of that — I ovulated early, too.  I can always tell.  I won’t describe it, but I can always tell!  LOL  This explains the meltdown yesterday, back pain, etc.  At least now I know.  It’s just weird!  This would also explain the lack of weightloss and the chocolate cravings.  And the way I was always feeling bloated.  It’s just strange.

Yesterday was a good day.  I got a few things done around the house and then took the kiddos outside to burn off some steam.  We were outside until our ears were frozen!  We came in and I made home-made mac-n-cheese for the kiddos and then a pasta toss for the hubbs and I.  I love those!  I just saute up a bunch of veggies with a splash of oil and seasonings and then toss in some meat and the pasta.  YUM!  I accidentally spilled in too much thyme, but that ended up being a good mistake — it was DELICIOUS!  A sprinkle of parm after and I swore I was in heaven!  After that, youngest got a bath, a bottle, and headed off for bed.  Oldest got to stay up later to look at the stars through his new telescope — they had so much fun!  But it was a late night for all of us and I was glad to go to bed.  However, no more than had we gone to bed and youngest was up a hundred times.  I don’t know what is going on with him — I thought for sure he would be so tired that he would sleep straight through.  But nope.  I honestly thought I was going to have a fit just because I am so worn down I can hardly stand it.  I just don’t know what to do to get this kid to sleep!  NOTHING has worked!!!  I’m getting to the end of what I can take.  Exhaustion is hard core set in and my body is starting to show it in odd ways.  I think these lines/bags under my eyes may be becoming permanent, too.  :(

Well, I guess I should be bringing this to an end.  I need to finish up some housework and get things ready to go here in a bit if we are able to go.  The hubbs is having lots of trouble with the truck and well, I don’t know if he will be able to fix it today.  UGH.  Either way, sitting here isn’t going to get anything done, so I’m going to go.  I’ll try to catch up on some blogs later or tomorrow.  Have a good weekend!

 

Figured it out October 21, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 10:33 am

I think I’ve figured it out.  Besides the obvious lack of sleep, I think my coffee creamer may be to blame!  I bought a different flavor when I went to the store and it weighs in at 35cals. per tbsp!  That wouldn’t be such a big deal, but I’m sure I was using close to 3tbsps. per drink!  Since my other creamer that I mix myself was so light, I was counting it but only at like, 25 cals. per coffee.  I think with this creamer I was closer to 100!  I drink 3 a day!  That’s about 300 extra cals.  :O  So, I cut back the amount by using 1% milk for two of the tablespoons and that brings each coffee closer to 50 this AM.  I can handle that and fit it in easily.  I will happily give up a piece of bacon or some extra chips to have my coffee.  But after this creamer is gone, I think I will stick with plain ol’ creamer.  Or my mix of 1% milk and heavy cream.  Just re-did the math and my version of half-n-half made with 6oz. real milk and 2oz. cream actually comes in at just 17 cals.  Yeah… HUGE difference!  HUGE. Especially since I usually only used 2tbsps. of it.  And even if I went to TRUE half-n-half with 4oz. of each, one tbsp. would still only have 28.  OY.  That doesn’t seem like much if you ONLY use one tbsp, but I know I use 2 to 3.  Maybe I should go back to black coffee and only have the creamy stuff once in a while!  LOL  Cause at 35 cals. per tbsp, I have a feeling that is where my extra cals were coming from.  I allowed for it today from breakfast.  I will allow for it later from my snack.  But man, you’d think I’d learn by now!  LOL

I think the main reason it hurts me is because it’s really the only thing I drink other than water.  So, I sip on coffee pretty much all day.  I have one cup (to go size — prob. 8oz.) with breakfast, another at my afternoon snack, and I have one made in between that I sip on.  I usually don’t finish the mid-day one cause I’m drinking water then.  I think I may just cut down to 2 per day total.  Coffee just happens to be my one vice.  I don’t really drink many diet drinks other than a random diet coke here and there.  But for the most part, I have my coffee and then it’s water the rest of the way.  If we go out for dinner, I may have unsweet tea or a glass of wine.  But I have no real soda addiction or fake drink addiction.  I don’t even think I have a caffeine addiction as I enjoy the decaf or reduced caffeine just as much as I do the regular!  But I need to be smart about it if I am going to drink it.  Can’t be getting extra cals from hyped up creamers!  LOL  That’s what I get for thinking I would get something to ’spice up’ my regular routine!  I should’ve just gotten the sugar free syrup like I use to.  Guess I WILL be ordering that again MissCatty!  LOL

OH! and to andly, thanks for your comments!  I sure wish I could lay down and sleep when my youngest does.  But I have an older child, too.  Between him, the dogs, the cat, and my hubby’s weird schedule, I more often than not cannot lay down and sleep when younger goes down.  I just have to make due.  I don’t know what I would do if my hubby didn’t let me sleep now and then.  But I can tell you that I do very often let the house slide because I’m just too exhausted to do much.  However, after a while I still start to feel like I’m falling apart.  Especially after there has been a really rough night.  Like yesterday I literally had a tantrum.  I was so tired and the TV was going, stove, micro, and I was trying to read the directions on a box.  I was so tired I kept rechecking to make sure I put enough water in the instant potatoes.  Younger was screaming his head off and my oldest was asking the same question over and over and I just lost it.  It was completely my fault, but I just had a meltdown.  Hubby came home to a cranky and screaming baby, a sulking kid, and a crying wife.  I can just take so much before I crash.  It doesn’t help we have no support here.  And I mean none what-so-ever.  My parents come up now and again to try to help out, but they can only do so much.  But here local, we get nada.  Not even from our so-called ‘friends’.  I’ve pretty well given up on having a social life and well, it’s wearing me down feeling like at the end of the day, no one gives a shit how I feel.  I have started feeling like a slave instead of a person.  I think that is my real trouble.  Anyways, my point is no matter how much I’d like to try to rest, it doesn’t happen.  And even when I get ok rest, I’m still feeling really run down.  Recipe for disaster.

On another note, I’m feeling frustrated on top of the lack of life thing with the food thing.  WHERE is the FOOD?  I went to the store and several of the normal veg and fruit I get are gone.  UGH.  It truly is Fall.  :(  I know that this time of year is good for gourds and other fall stuff, but dad gum I am struggling with the lack of options.  OK, mostly berries and apples!  The lack of berries and apples is frustrating.  I think the apples is because everyone is loading up.  Berries, well, their season is over.  I only get peaches in season so those are done.  Pears, too.  I’m not a huge watermelon fan so that is ok.  But the berries, well, that is killing me.  I eat a lot of strawberries and raspberries and a decent dose of blueberries.  I’m a big fan of blackberries, too, but I don’t use them as much.  Mostly just grab some and eat’em!  YUM YUM!  But I am thinking that I am going to have to maybe go back to smoothies to get all my fruit and veg in.  I love them so it isn’t a big deal and I don’t mind the frozen stuff… I will just miss the fresh fruit at breakfast.  This is why I hate dieting during the winter.  And it’s usually how I pad out my meals so that I get lots of volume with little cals.  But with there not being many options… ugh.  I don’t want to live off canned or frozen!  But I don’t have many options.  :(  All I can do is get what I can fresh and make do with the rest.  I have a feeling that come Spring, my poor freezers will be so empty!  :(

Other than  yesterday being a decently productive day, not much to write about.  I think I was so tired yesterday that I had to be up and doing things or crash.  I finished the rest of the Halloween stuff so only a few more things to put up.  Some stays up since it’s also Fall themed.  I got some organizing and dusting done plus cleaned the whole kitchen.  Not sure what I want to do today.  Younger did sleep ok last night and I think only woke once, but didn’t actually get up.  Just whined and then went back to sleep.  Then we were up at 6 which was fine.  My alarm goes off at 6:15 to get me awake to get oldest up.  He ended up going back to sleep, but I got him back up at 7:45.  If I have to be up, so does he!  LOL  I also think this may help me to stay in routine.  And get him in a better one.  One thing that is driving me nuts with trying to do a schedule is the darned animals.  My dogs keep acting like jerks so I keep having to bring them in and put them in the kennel.  All of a sudden, they have a beef with anyone who even looks at our yard.  Particularly my male.  He’s always been a barker, but here lately he’s gotten worse.  He seems to go in cycles.  See why I never rest?  Always having to worry about something.  LOL

Ok, well, I guess I better get off of here and attempt to be productive.  With a bit of extra sleep, I feel better.  But maybe I will take a little nap… dogs are in, younger will be napping, older at school… ooh… a nap!  LOL  That, or clean the family room which is in DESPERATE need.  I guess we’ll see…. Have a great day ladies and hopefully we’re more successful this weekend!

 

Tired October 20, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 11:28 am

Even though we tried to go to bed early last night, youngest was up before the sun this AM and I am worn out.  He was up once and then the hubby got up with him since he was already getting up for work.  I guess he got him back down, but within a short time he was up again.  So, I’ve been up since around 5:30.  I tried to let him fuss some, but he went from fussing to screaming like he was dying.  So, up we got.  I drifted off to sleep on the couch, but thankfully woke up and was able to get oldest up and off to school.  But I’ve been up and going since then.  Already had breakfast and all that jazz and it’s just now 8.  That’s early for me!

One thing with getting up this early, I didn’t weigh.  I was too tired and distracted.  So, I have no record for today.  I’m sure it would be up.  It always seems to be up so I guess 195 is my new ‘norm’.  I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong that my weight is just sitting there now.  I’ve not changed anything at all.  So, what I may do is stay on plan this weekend and not have my relaxed day.  I hate to do that since I so look forward to relaxed day, but I’m not sure what else to do.  What may have hurt me last week, I don’t know.  I think my weight is up right now from the leftover Chinese… probably just from pure sodium!  The week before I was ovulating AND we had date night on Thursday.  I just don’t get how most people can do just OK and lose but I can be on it and not lose a whit.  There is NO WAY I am consuming enough calories to be gaining.  Maybe not to lose a ton, but definitely not to gain.  It’s just frustrating to be on my game for the majority and somehow feel like I am punished if I am off a bit for one meal.  I lost in August and September, but unless something happens in the next couple of weeks (and I am thinking no since TOM rolls around the end of the month), I am going to have a ZERO or even a gain month.  I had really, REALLY hoped for October to be a great month.  Since it happens that it is a 5 week weigh-in month for me.  But instead, I’ve lost 2 weeks already.  It just really bums me out.  Aargh!

I don’t have much planned for today.  It’s still cold and dreary out.  I don’t feel like car shopping even though my SUV seems worse off now than even before.  I cleaned the floors like crazy yesterday with a full vacuum and then a full steam.  I probably should vacuum and fold up some laundry, but that’s about it.  I guess I could clean out oldest’s room, but I really want him here to help pick out a few things to let go.  We try to do that twice a year and it was done back in Spring before his b-day.  So, it is time to do it again!  I’d also like to clean up his bookshelf.  We read a book a night and so far, the books have just gotten shoved everywhere.  So, his bookshelf needs to be put in some kind of order.  I am thinking of moving all the ones we’ve read to the bottom shelf and then after a book is read off of the top shelf moving it down.  But we will see.  That, or we have to find some way to mark where the ones that have been read are because they PREFER we read a NEW book every night.  I know, sounds crazy but they have a library at school so he gets two of those a week.  And we can re-read a book, they would just rather we read new ones.  He has enough to probably read every book one time until well into Spring.

My point is, there’s always things to do but I don’t HAVE to do much and honestly, I don’t feel like doing much.  I could work on a project, but I don’t even know where to start at this point.  I was so productive the other day and now it’s freezing outside!  So much for getting all the painting done out there.  That may have to wait until Spring.  Although, if it warms back up for a bit I may be able to get SOME of it done.  Maybe the rest of the caulk and at least a good coat on the back where it’s new.  Then the rest could wait if need be.  I just hate being tired like this — I don’t want to do anything when I’m so tired.  AND, it makes me feel like I wasted going to bed early… like it was pointless.  :(

OK, well, going to get off of here and quit complaining.  I need to get youngest down for nap and try to find some motivation to do something besides sit here on my tush.

 

Early start October 19, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 7:57 am

Well, I decided to stay up this AM after putting oldest on the bus instead of heading back to bed.  So, it looks like I am getting an early start on my day.  I don’t have a TON to do, but I would like to get a few things done if possible.  Thankfully, the calendar is clear of reminders, so I am spending most of this rainy day indoors.  Even if there were things to do, I’d almost consider rescheduling because it’s not just a drizzle — it’s one of those soaking rains that just drenches every inch of you.  It was fun putting oldest on the bus… I hope he’s not too wet.  Thank goodness for that huge golf umbrella!  Between that and the type of windbreaker pants he has on, I hope he dries out pretty quick if he did get his legs a bit wet.  Next time, I may just get youngest up and take him to school.  But with my SUV being all jacked up, well, I don’t want to drive it anymore than I have to.  My hubby worked on it yesterday to just keep it up and going and he discovered that not only did I have a busted gasket, but also another leak, my frame bumpers were worn down, and some bolt was broken.  He replaced the gasket, fixed the leak, and put a reminder in to get new bumpers.  But he can’t find the bolts.  Going to have to call Dodge and see if they have it.  I think it’s nuts you can’t just pick it up at Advance or Autozone!  If it was a Ford we could!  UGH.

You know, on second thought I may actually get out here in a couple of hours.  I may try to go by the dent place and just ask how much it’s going to be to get some of these dents popped out and see if it would be worth it to get those repaired. I also may call the glass place and get a better estimate for my windshield.  I do worry that my car is close to messing up, but unless I could find a new one soon, I may be in trouble.  And a friend of ours who works in the industry said that the reason why this particular car is hard to find is because it was a highly leased vehicle.  So, right now and in the next couple of months is when they would start becoming available and the price will drop a bit.  He’s probably right.  And waiting until the end of the year (just another month or so) or even the first of the year would give us more options.  Not to mention it would give us a few more months to save up some money and pay down our B of A card more so that it would be even less of a worry.  We got a great rate on using that for our home equity line rather than a traditional equity line, but I am ready to have that paid off.  Once we are done with that, I would really like to up what we are paying on our 2nd line home loan.  We have an 80/20 that was popular before the economy took a dump.  Right now when we pay we pay a bit over, but not enough to really make a dent.  I want to make a dent and have more built in equity.  The value of our house has dropped (like everyone else’s!) so it would help to pay that down.  Especially when we need to move.  Other than the large repairs we did when we first moved in, those accounts have laid dormant.  If we get approved through the credit union to refinance, we may do that since the refi would be cheaper to combine the two loans.  But for now, we are focusing on one debt at a time.  So far, so good.  Hmmm… maybe it’s time to check our credit reports… I don’t think we’ve checked since the first of the year…

OK, on to the focus of this blog!  My weight this AM was 195 but I completely expected that.  I had the leftover Chinese last night.  I didn’t come close to finishing it, but I’m sure the sodium was high!  But I just felt so bad throwing that amount of food away.  Not to mention, our fridge is stuffed with leftovers so we made the decision to eat those instead of cooking up more food only to have more leftovers.  I’m going to continue the theme today.  And while I’m doing that, I’m going to check everything and if anything is bad, throw it out or close to bad, give it to the dogs.  Most of our leftovers are meat and veg, so the doggies love it.  And in the last few months since we started doing that, our obese dog has actually lost weight.  Makes me think that the dog food that we get has too many fillers.  But we get some that is soy free due to their itchy skin.  It’s the only thing that stopped the non-stop itching.  But giving them leftovers seems to have helped my little chunky monkey thin down.  She’s always been full figured, but it seems like she has really thinned out.  I bet they will be surprised at her next vet visit!

Another reason I am sure my weight is up is I was working like a rabid animal yesterday!  The day wasn’t very productive at first, but once I talked to my friend (her blog is Gaining Confidence), I got to feeling MUCH better and got up off my tushy to do some work.  I got outside and got to cleaning up all the trash from the yard and flower beds from where the roofers had been here.  I keep finding more and more!  Then I weeded.  After that, I was going to clip the bushes, but somehow my clippers got rusted!  So, I am going to spray them down with some CLR and then file the blades before I need them again.  So, I ended up dragged a 16ft. board from around back and fixing my flower borders.  They run the length of the house, so I needed a really long board!  That doesn’t sound like much but that board was SO heavy!  Then I had to pull up the concrete edge pieces, go down through there and remove all the weeds and put them back.  But my beds look GREAT now and only need to have the pine needles put down after I clip the bushes!  I may move some of the rocks around just to make it look better since all of the rain has dragged the smaller rocks further down when the gutters weren’t working right.  On top of the yard work, I also put up and folded some laundry and cleaned my kitchen.  Plus picked up the rest of the house the best I could!  Busy busy!  All in all, a good and productive day.  But I think that being outside and sweating like a hog for a few hours probably made me swell a bit.  Lots of water today!

Well, that’s about it folks.  Just trying to get on top of things and get’er done!  I don’t always make it far, but at least I’m doing something.  I’m trying hard not to be lazy.  :)  The last thing I want to say is a thank you to you ladies for the recent comments.  It really helps to perk me up!  I’m going to keep going and try not to let things get to me!  :D

 

Not feeling it. October 18, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 11:13 am

194.5  Yesterday was 195.  Sunday was my relaxed day, but all I really ate off was some cake and Chinese.  No, not of the cupcake variety but of the birthday cake variety.  I forgot that oldest got invited to the neighbors for a party.  The parents asked us to come over and hang so we did.  As a result, I had cake.  It was good and satisfied my cake tooth.  LMAO  CAKE TOOTH!

Anyways, I’m trying to get back into the groove the last two days but I’ve not been feeling it.  I just feel frustrated and fried.  My car is acting like an ass so I’m having to drive sparingly.  We’ve been car shopping for over two years, but it got serious over the weekend and then the last two days.  We spend almost all of yesterday looking at cars.  I’ve found one I really like, but the price is a bit higher than I would like.  I may still go look at it and see if they will come down.  The one dealership yesterday came down almost 4k right off the mark.  However, it was a base model and while I liked it, I really wanted a couple of other things.  I feel like if I am going to pay darn near 30k, I should get some of the things I want!  Plus, it was brand new and I’d much rather have one that is slightly used.  Strange, yes.  How I feel, yes.

So, money, finances, and people have all been on my mind and not really food.  Although other than dinner yesterday, I was pretty good.  And even dinner wasn’t bad.  I had one roll, half of my salad with a VERY light drizzle of honey mustard, 2.5 chicken tenders with BBQ sauce, and some loaded mashed potatoes.  Unsweet tea.  I didn’t finish anything and stopped when I was full.  Considering I missed my snack (oldest was hungry so I gave it to him) and it was late so we didn’t do dessert, I don’t think I was too far off.  Plus, we were out and about and I did a lot of walking.  I’m thinking about it in the back of my mind, but it’s not at the forefront.  I just don’t feel like fretting over it.  I want to lose weight, but this last week frustrated me.  I am sure I made bad choices somewhere along the line, so I’ve just got to let it go and move on.  But right now, I’m just annoyed.  Maybe yesterday being out so much was good — we had fun and got to do a lot.  Maybe what I need is more time out.  I need more of a life!  Right now I would love to get outside and get a few things done.  Maybe that is what I should do as soon as youngest goes down for a nap.  Maybe I should put him down now and get outside and get a few things done?  Sounding better and better as soon as I finish this coffee.  :D  Maybe I could even run to Ace later or tomorrow and get some pine needles for my flower beds if I can get them in decent order today.  If I could weed, straighten and then clip the bushes, they would be ready for needles.  Maybe I will do that today… I can’t do painting as we are expecting rain later. Probably can’t even mow, but I may try to do that pretty quick if I can.  The rider makes it so easy!  LOL

Well, should probably wrap this up now.  Just a bit more coffee to finish and youngest is acting sleepy.  Hopefully he will go down for a nap and then I can get a few things done.  That alone would make me VERY happy!  Toodles.

 

Trying October 16, 2011

Filed under: October — jewlz280 @ 9:56 am

I’m trying not to be down, but I feel disappointed.  Weight this AM was 193.5 so it’s another week of no loss.  I saw 192 one day, and then BAM.  Gone.  Not sure what is going on because I’ve stayed on plan, I’ve drunk lots of water, and even taken my vitamins.  I just feel really disappointed.  I’m going to try to push it away and keep going because I know I was right where I needed to be so I’m not sure what could be going on.  I am wondering why I wouldn’t be losing now when I was moving right along.  I keep thinking it over and I can’t find anything that could be off.  I don’t want to over-think it though.  I’m already feeling down this week.  OK, well, not going to dwell.  Going to keep going.  Today is my ‘relaxed’ day but nothing much sounded good for breakfast so I had my usual.  I’m kinda in the mood for Gigi’s cupcakes and some Chinese.  Maybe we’ll do that for snack and dinner.  I really wish I could get out of the house today, but I don’t see that happening.  Maybe tomorrow.  Hope everyone else has a great rest of the day.  Hopefully this week will be better.

BTW, Unskinny girl, I can see your comments!  Thank you!  :D

 

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