Filed under: General
Hey Sisters!
I know it has been a long time since I have blogged, but it has just been really hard getting adjusted to this quarter’s class schedule. I haven’t stopped my journey with my weight loss though, so don’t worry. I did not attend the weigh in after my last blog because it was a gain and I had my TOM and just did not feel like going and paying $14 to find out I had gained again… a week after my 5lb loss.
Tuesday I went in and weighed in at 242 exactly. Down another 4.2lbs and had reached a loss of 40lbs!! 40.4 to be exact. I will start to acknowledge my weight loss now. 40 seems like a significant enough number. The only thing I keep thinking in the back of my head is that I have weighed this weight and even less before, the last time I tried seriously to lose weight.
The summer before my senior year of high school (graduated in ‘03) I did a pretty crazy crash diet of strictly 1,000 calories a day or less. During this time I rode 6+ miles a day on a stationary bike, did a billy banks tae bo video, and also did a couple mile walk at night at the high school track. I lost a lot of weight and got sick. I would wake up dizzy and not able to stand in the shower. It was awful.
I then became consumed with school work and my senior year and was just always stressed and anxious and was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and started seeing a counselor. This made me lose even more weight because now, instead of eating when I was stressed, for some reason I couldn’t eat when I was stressed. I constantly felt like I was going to vomit and mostly refused to eat. I started getting better and went away to my freshmen year of college (Washington state to Michigan at MSU).
Here I began to have panic attacks after first semester and got really sick. I think the lowest weight I remember getting to was 214 but I can’t be sure. I wish I had my medical records. I know I was really unhappy and didn’t eat and all but why didn’t I start from there? I wasn’t emotionally stable enough obviously but gah!!!! It frustrates me now. I even get scared that what if 40 is all I can lose? That is a lot of weight you know? two bags of cat food as my WW leader put it. What if I can’t get out of the 240’s? Sorry I am ranting
So I see you all are thinking of goals for New Years. As most of you know, my goal is to have lost 50lbs by Christmas. According to my calculations (wow that sounded like my psych stats professor) I have been losing 1.8lbs per week on average. According to this I can lose 14.4lbs by Christmas. A couple things though, I will be going home for a couple weeks during the holiday season. I have decided to eat a normal Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner, but not go crazy. Also there might not be as much exercise then (not that I have been doing much lately… I know I am disgusting… grr) because I won’t be around my gym and such. I will just take my dogs for walks on the water front trail in Washington! Okkkk…. back to the goal. I am going to make my Christmas goal to have lost 50lbs. I am going to make my New Years goal to have lost 55lbs. I have thought about making it more but I just can’t see that happening. I have also decided that if I get to a 50lb loss by New Years I will be happy and not upset that it isn’t my 55lb goal.
Well I think that is enough for everyone to read. Hope you guys have a pleasant rest of the week.
