Well I have been pretty busy this week. I started my summer classes on Monday and am in class Monday through Thursday from 1 until 4. This requires me to leave my house at 11:45 in the morning. I ride my bike to the bus station which according to mapquest is .86 mi. When I get there I take the EMX which is this new apparently green express bus that just goes between Springfield, OR and Eugene, OR. Gas prices are so high and this is such an easy way to get to campus, not to mention I get exercise. This way I can ride my bike around campus, and since I only have a 10 minute break between my two psychology classes this allows me to get to the next one on time.

We are however having the track trials for the Olympics on our campus which is just making everything very chaotic and insane. Roads are closed, no parking, things are fenced off, it is an obstacle course just to get to my classes. I suppose it is cool though that somehow the Olympics are connected to where I am living.

Last Tuesday I had my weight in at WW and I wasn’t expecting to have lost weight because it was my TOM and I had looked up online whether or not you weigh more during your period or not. The general consensus was that we weigh anywhere from 2 to 5 more pounds the week before and the week of our periods. I also had to go to a different meeting than I was used to because of my class schedule. It kind of sucked because I was getting used to all of the people at my other meeting and I am really going to miss these two crazy women that do the happy dance every-time someone loses weight. They are so cheerful and really motivating. I ended up losing .8 lbs so I was thrilled that I at least hadn’t gained any weight. I am really looking forward to hopefully losing more at my next weigh in.

I also went on this fabulous bike ride with J.J. last night. I wanted to ride over this bridge that is just a walking/biking bridge that goes over the Willamette river. It looks so cool from the road but I had no idea how to get there. There are so many biking trails in the Eugene/Springfield area. As near as I can tell it was about 2 miles from our house to the bridge area, maybe a little more, and then 2 back. So yay I didn’t even know I could ride that far.

Well I have an academic advising appt. here in about an hour. Hope everyone is doing well and is having a great summer so far.

So I didn’t update a lot towards the end of last week, because it was sort of an off-week I guess. I did the treadclimber on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday for a mile. Friday J.J.’s family got into town for his graduation: his mom, his dad, his four aunts (3 of his mom’s sisters, and one of his dad’s), his little cousin, his uncle, his grandpa and his grandpa’s wife. A lot of family to meet, but it was fantastic and I loved them all.

Everybody was asking me if I wanted something to eat, personalized m&m’s, cheesecake, chips, chicken wings, lots of yummy things. I had a couple of grapes. I was really proud of myself.

The next day we got to the hotel to meet everybody early and get shuttled to the campus. Graduation was great and I am so proud of J.J.. I knew I was going to be at the hotel all day so I just tried to keep my portions under control and limit myself to a small tiny tiny inch of cake. It was yummy. I never eat my 35 bonus points anyway so I just enjoyed my day.

The only problem was that we had to go back home with all of the leftovers. This included a half of a costco cake, a giant zip loc bag of the m&m’s not to mention 2 more unopened bags, chicken wings, the rest of the croissant sandwiches, dips, chips, lots of stuff. I felt like I had ruined my day because I hadn’t followed points all day. I figured that since I had ruined it anyway I was going to have another piece of cake (this one much larger I might add), and a couple handfuls of m&m’s; tomorrow would be a different day.

I did alright Sunday. I was back to the points system and I really really thought about exercising again. I made one of those really good pizza’s with the wheat Boboli crust for dinner with my yummy WW mozzarella cheese. It tastes so good that I feel like I am eating something sinful. I did however have some more m&m’s. But I feel that this is something I learn from right? I learn from my mistakes. I kind of took a detour if you will from my Points System for a day or so and realized why I need to stay on my WW plan. Once I start eating those bad things it is like a compulsion. It is like I have alcoholic tendencies towards food and it sucks.

When Monday came around I did my points. Still no exercise, but I felt much more on track. I was still kind of depressed about the way my eating had gone the past few days though. I thought that a gain was definitely in store for my weigh in the next day. I decided to take it out on a very tiny 1 inch by 1 inch piece of cake. We were going to throw it away the next day anyway and my week was blown right? Wrong!

I weighed in at my weight watcher’s meeting this morning at 275.4. I had lost 4.6 lbs! Well really 4 minus my .6 gain last week. I was so surprised. In fact I thought my scale at home was faulty. I weighed myself at home this morning twice before I left. I got off the scale and then back on it again because I thought my sight was wrong or something. So when the WW scale confirmed mine I was thrilled. I even got to get my first 5 pound sticker at my meeting.

When I came home I started off my Tuesday right with my usual breakfast. I then did my mile on the treadclimber!. Back on track baby.

Well I am finally done with finals week. I finished my last final this evening (It was an online, autoCAD final). I am hoping for an A in both of my classes. I am going to a community college right now, but trying to get back into the U of O for fall quarter. I will be attending summer classes there as that is allowed even with my disqualification. Luckily I have a little over a week for a break before it is back to lectures.

Have been doing fine these past two days. Yesterday was uneventful, though I did get in 42 min on the treadclimber for a mile. I burn a little over 400 calories doing that. Too bad it isn’t more I am really hoping my consistency with my exercising this week will make a difference for Tuesday’s weigh in. If it doesn’t I may go get my thyroid tested yet again. I have never had an abnormal thyroid but I just can’t believe how much work I did last week, my second week on plan, only to have gained 0.6 lbs.I did 41 min. today for another mile on the treadclimber. I started my faster speed after 5 min. today instead of after 10 or 20 min, hoping to burn more calories.

I felt almost sinful eating my dinner tonight. I didn’t get up until really late which threw off my eating all day. At 6 this evening, having been working on my final for the past 3 or 4 hours, I had only used 11 points. I get 34 points a day and try to use all of them so I don’t go into starvation mood or whatever it is they think will happen at WW if you don’t use all your daily points. So I decided to make nachos with some tortilla chips and my WW 4 cheese blend. Each serving of chips is 3 points for only 9 chips. I layered 27 chips on my plate for a total of 9 points and then used two servings of cheese to make my nachos. A serving size of WW cheese is 1/3 of a cup which actually counts as a serving of milk yay. I even used some of J.J.’s low fat sour cream (two tablespoons for 1 point). We ran out of salsa so I used some green taco sauce which didn’t have any points in it. They were yummy, I just wish I had put some onions, tomato, and olives on them. Mmmm.

J.J. and I went bowling tonight. I haven’t bowled (except for on Wii at my dad’s house) in years and years. It was really fun. I suck, but it was really fun. It was $1.50 night too so that was cool.

Well I think I am going to go have 5 cups of pop-corn for 1 point and play some super nintendo with my boy for the rest of the evening.

Points Target: 34
Banana: 2
Yogurt: 2
Curves Bar: 1
Cereal: 4
Milk: 2
Apple: 1
Carrots: 0
Tortilla Chips: 9
WW Cheese: 4
Taco Sauce: 0
Sour Cream: 1
Corn: 4
Popsicle: 1
Popcorn: 1
Points left: 2

So I am up 0.6 today. I am really upset too, because I definitely didn’t go off plan at all last week and I exercised. I am sure I didn’t exercise as much as I should have but it is just frustrating. I hadn’t gained weight for like I don’t know at least two years and I was maintaining the weight, horrible as it was, just fine without doing anything. I was eating whatever I wanted and not gaining, so why when I eat healthy and exercise do I gain 0.6? I have so much weight to lose, I just figured that at first it would come off easier then when I have less to lose.

I cried about it. I was depressed, and still kind of am but all I can do is try harder. I have no desire to go off plan, I want to do this still, I just need to have a better week.

I did 43 min on my Bowflex Treadclimber for a mile. I don’t know if anyone has ever used a treadclimber but it gets me sweating. I usually do half an hour at the most, but I wanted to get the mile in. I did 20 min at about 1.3mph and then bumped it up to the 1.5mph for the last bit. Boy do I feel it in my legs now. Was hoping to be able to go ride my bike and walk at the track tonight but it didn’t happen. My legs and such were just too sore.

Daily Points: 34 (technically should be 35 now, but I am keeping it at 34)
Yogurt: 2
Banana: 2
Cereal: 4
Milk: 2
Apple: 1
Carrots: 0
10 Dino nuggets: 8
Ketchup: 1
Curves Bar: 1
1oz. of Cheese slices: 3
BOCA burger: 1
Bun: 4
Hashbrowns: 2
WW Cookie Bar: 2
Points left: 1

When J.J. and I got up today (after I had my normal yogurt and banana) we rode over to the school on our bikes and he started on his running drills and I rode around the track four times for a mile. After I got done riding I walked a mile around the track. I was hoping to do a little running mixed with my walking, like run on the curved parts, walk on the straight parts, but it didn’t work out so well. I ran on one curved part and held my side in pain as I walked it out. I felt so like I was going to vomit. Ick.

We took the pups to the dog park today. We waited until it was cool. There is a trail around the dog park which I was planning to walk around while the dogs played. We have two young Jack Russell Terriers though, and they never do what you want them to. We walked one lap around and the dogs mostly followed us and didn’t try to rile up too many other dogs. Then, before we could even start on the second lap, out male started barking at this much larger dog and just went nuts. We had to put him on his leash and eventually leave because he was just acting like a little brat. It was so annoying. I think the dog park is fun I just wish they were a little more well behaved. I feel like Princess Sophia and Mr. Cash need to meet with a pet psychic so I can figure out what the crap is going through their heads.

I made a really good pizza for dinner. I had a small Boboli pizza crust which I had bought a couple weeks ago. I checked the points on them in the store. A serving size is half a shell. I got the wheat pizza crusts and they are 3 points for half a shell. I still had 16 points left towards dinner time so I thought I could have a full one. I measured out my shredded WW mozzarella cheese which is 2 points for 1/3 of a cup. I used 1/4 a cup of the pizza sauce I bought which is a serving and is 0 points :), two servings of the WW mozzarella for 4 points, and then the crust for 6 points all together. A 10 point dinner which I think is reasonable. It was very yummy.

So I was having trouble getting all my milk in. I was thinking I had to actually drink 3 servings of milk, no just 3 servings of milk products. I looked it up on the food pyramid site and it turns out that 1/3 a cup of shredded cheese is actually a serving of milk, also my 6 oz yoplait yogurts are considered 3/4 a cup of milk which is the serving size. This makes me feel much better about my servings that I need to get in everyday. The vitamins on the other hand are a problem. What I do is fill my mouth with a sip of water because I don’t want to taste the pill, I then drop the pill into mouthful of water and try to quickly swallow. Last night this turned into me coughing and vomiting up the water in my hand. Tonight I tried it the way J.J. suggested, dealing with the taste and just setting the pill on my tongue. I then took a sip of the water and tried to swallow the pill. I did but still felt like I was choking and the same water vomit happened. Yuck!

Also I think whoever broke into my car has been stalking around our house. My dogs have been going nuts.

Daily Points: 34
Yogurt: 2
Banana: 2
Curves Bar: 1
Cereal: 4
Milk: 2
Apple: 1
Carrots: 0
WW Calzone: 6
Pizza Crust: 6
WW Cheese: 4
Sauce: 0
Hashbrowns: 2
Salad: 0
Spray Dressing: 0
WW Ice Cream: 2
Sugar Free Pudding: 1
Points left: 1

I have been having some really unmotivated “fat days” these past couple of days. I haven’t eaten off plan or anything like that, I haven’t even eaten any of my Weekly Points; I try not to. I don’t know if it does anything by not eating them. I have really been working hard on trying to get all my milk and fruits and vegetable lately. I never really have a problem drinking my daily water because I bought two special water bottles and I fill them up from the brita pitcher and keep them in the fridge. My two water bottles are 6 8oz glasses of water so it is exactly enough. I have also been taking a vitamin everyday which is hard because I hate swallowing pills and they usually make my stomach hurt. It hasn’t been hurting lately though.

My theory behind the stomach pains is that, before I ate healthy when I took a vitamin it was like so much health hitting me that my body would reject it with pain haha. Now that I actually eat fruits and veggies, and drink milk and water, when the vitamin hits my tummy it is like mmmmm more nutrients. All I need to do now is start weaning myself off of my paxil.

I tried to do this about a month or so ago and the withdrawals were unbearable. I take 50mg of Paxil CR a day for my anxiety. I have been taking it for about 4 years. I started at 12.5 and moved up to 25mg for about two years. I then ended up needing to move up to a higher dose and have been on that for the last two years. My doctor told me to start just taking 25mg every day and if that wasn’t enough, take 25 one day and then 50 the next. This did not work for me at all, I was very dizzy and my vision felt like it was moving around in my head. I felt like I was having vertigo I think. I looked it up online and found a web-site called paxilprogress.com. Apparently Paxil had one of the hardest withdrawals, other than like heroin I’m guessing. They suggest going down about 5mg a month. I got a pill cutter and a lower dose of Paxil so that I can cut the pills and come down slowly. I just didn’t want to try it the same time I was starting WW.

The other day I went to Fashion Bug to look for something to wear to JJ’s graduation. I wanted something cute that wasn’t slacks. His parents and family are all going to be there. I found this black spaghetti strap summer dress and got a cover up to go over it. The only bad thing is that I was required to realize what size I really am. Stretchy things it doesn’t matter so much, but this dress wasn’t stretchy at all. I had to get a size 24 in it and it is still quite tight. I think that is what contributed to my “fat day” attitude all week. Luckily I have a foundation that I wore under my bridesmaid dress at my cousins wedding.

Both Thursday and Friday I rode my bike a mile at the track and then walked one lap. I was really hoping I could ride two miles but I struggle though just the mile. My thighs get so sore and I have to concentrate on my breathing. I hope maybe in two weeks, three at the most, I can ride two miles. I bought Carmen Electra’s aerobic striptease workout collection today at Best Buy. I think it looks fun and I heard it was a good workout. If anyone has any other good workout dvd’s they like please please comment and let me know what they are called.

Daily Points: 34
Curves Bar 1
Banana 2
Yogurt 2
Cereal 4
Milk 2
WW Calzone 6
Sugar Free Jello 0
Carrots 0
Turkey Sub 8
Apples 1
WW Fudge Bar 1
Points left for the day: 7

So this morning someone is knocking on my door. I am in bed still. I get up, go to the door, it is my neighbor. I think your car has been broken into she says. I go outside and sure enough, rubber around the window is all off, shit is all over my car, my ipod is gone! I am not really a materialistic person so normally I would be like fuck it and just curse the people who did it. However, I had just downloaded like 200 plus fitness playlist songs to start working out too. Grrr!!!!!!!

Now the more important thing…. My battery to my car is probably dead, I need to be at WW weigh in within a half hour, JJ is at school… AHHHH!!! Also the police told me to stay… well JJ got home and I took his car and he stayed. I only lost 3 pounds. I know that word only is a bad word. I know I still lost weight, and 3 pounds at that. I remember saying if I lost a pound a week for 2 years I would have lost more than 100 pounds. It isn’t like I can lose the 150 I need to lose over night, or even over the week. So why am I upset? The two other girls that joined last week both lost more. One of them, an older women lost 5 point something, and the other girl around my age who isn’t even fat lost 6 point something. Err. I am happy for them though, I just wish I had lost 5 pounds.

Updated ticker:

New plans for the week:
Actually take a daily vitamin
Exercise at least every other day
Try to eat all my daily points
Drink the required milk
Eat the required fruits and vegetables
Drink all the daily water I need to
Be happy doing all this

Well I have my first weigh in at 12:30pm tomorrow. I am kind of nervous. I want the official scale to show that I at least lost a little. I still have 4 points left at the end of my day.

I got some more low point foods at the store tonight. I needed more bananas and more yogurt and then I kind of just walked around with my little WW calculator. How handy I am sure I look like a loser pausing over my shopping cart punching in numbers while I analyze a box that I have in my hands. I don’t really care though, it is kind of nice having my cart full of foods that aren’t considered bad. I remember a while ago when I worked at Fred Meyer… I had just gotten off work and I was really hungry, ready for a meal when I got home for sure. I remember wanting like a marked down donut, but then I got in that section and I wanted some cupcakes too and that made me think of ice cream which led to the candy aisle. I remember checking out at the register and saying that I was having a movie night at my house. I had to say this because I knew that it was ridiculous, everything I was buying. Why is this fat girl buying all these bad things? Clearly she doesn’t need them. It is just a nice feeling to finally have a cart with healthy things in it. Maybe I am the only person who has weird thoughts like this at check-stands, maybe it is just part of my minor social anxiety.

I didn’t really exercise today, I might do some push ups and crunches before I go to bed. I am not particularly concerned about exercise this week, because it is only my first week on the program, and I want to worry about my points right now. Also at our first meeting the lady told me we would talk more about exercise my second week. One positive thing about today was that I chose to make a better decision. I chose to ride my bike to run an errand about 5 blocks away instead of driving. It was even raining a little! Go me haha

So I guess the saying is true, you never forget how to ride a bike. I have been wanting to ride my bike for a long time. I think I have had it since I was 14 or 15 something like that… maybe 13. But it is a nice bike.. a Specialized, and my dad got it all tuned up before I moved to Oregon 3 years ago.

A couple months ago I tried it in the drive way and sort of teetered as I rode in a circle. It was painful though. That seat could just not support my butt… or I guess my crotch… sorry to be so crass haha.

Today JJ and I went to Hollywood Video. We have the MVP thingy there where you can have 3 movies out at a time. We have been wanting to watch the old Indiana Jones movies again before we watch the new one and they put in a hold request for us last week. Well we go there and apparently it didn’t continue on to June automatically so he wanted us to join MVP again (second time this has happened in 3 months). JJ didn’t have his card with him so we were like uh okay guess we’ll come back later you dumbass. So we left and JJ asked where I wanted to go now. I said let’s go to ShopKo.

I wanted a sports bra and someone in my meeting said they had some for 2 for $8. I got my bras, and decided to go look and see if they had any bike seats. They had regular, a bit larger, large (the one I got) and then this granny one. I said I couldn’t get the biggest one because it would be two embarrassing. It was 20 bucks, but hey I think it is a good investment right?

We get home and he tries to figure out how to get it on my bike. He succeeds and I go on a mini trial in the drive way. Still painful but I think it is just something my tush needs to get used to. I am sure it feels better than my other one did, I can’t remember. We live right by a middle and elementary school that is connected to this sports complex with a couple of baseball fields and a gravel track with a football field in the middle of it. I tell him I want to go ride bikes on the track so I know how far I have gone.

The plan is something like 2 miles, 8 times around. I thought this would be a piece of cake because I remember being a kid and getting my bike and riding like 6 miles or more with my dad and brother on the water front trails. They were flat and beautiful and it was an easy activity that didn’t get me out of breath. So we ride over to the track which is a couple blocks away. I was really nervous about this because I was afraid I would crash or something on the sidewalk in front of the cars. I made it though!

We start on the track and I am still trying to figure out my gears. They are all clicky and I was trying to get it into something comfortable. Too easy of a peddle made me feel wobbly and like I was going to fall off so I preferred the harder gear. After two laps (which I thought was my third) I say uh maybe just a mile tonight. I underestimated the difficulty for me haha. My butt was so sore and my hammy’s (apparently?) were sore. I struggled through the last two laps, but I made it to a mile! JJ walked me through some stretches after and that felt a lot better. We even got a little frisky haha!

I was so proud of myself even though I feel like anyone could have done this! I feel like I could work my way up and do maybe like a 5 mile bike ride every other day sometime in the future.

I got a clip board to put my points journal on. I figure this way I can hang it on a nail in the kitchen and it won’t take up counter space. We have a really small kitchen and I like to make my own dog treats! I have 7 points left still. I am going to have one of my WW desserts I bought last night! It is this cookie and ice cream sundae. I love ice cream despite thinking I am lactose intolerant haha. I am happy that this satisfies my craving but keeps me in a healthy range of eating through out the day.

Daily Points Target: 35
Yogurt 2
Banana 2
Bagel 1
Cream Cheese 1
Cereal 4
Milk for Cereal 2
WW Snack Cake 1
Curves Bar 1
WW Pizza 8
18 Tortilla Chips 6
Salsa 0
Points left: 7

So after one of the nice people commented on my blog about my WW bagel fiasco, and how they had a lot of WW stuff at Wal-mart, I was psyched to get some.  JJ and I hung out all night, being jolly and doing what we do. Close to 3am rolls around and we are still up. Didn’t you want to go get your bagels at Wal-mart he asks me? Why yes I did! So we go to Wal-mart at 3am on a mission for my bagels.

We walk towards the bread aisle and I see a good sign. WW muffins, cookies, and cakes. Wow they have a lot more WW things than I have seen at other stores. We continue down the aisle. No bagels I ask a lady if they could be anywhere else. She tells me maybe they are frozen or in dairy.

So we walk around the grocery area, giddy with our late night jaunt. I put some WW Smart Ones in the cart to try. Pizza, enchiladas, calzone, a couple of desserts… yummy We walk towards the cheese area, I see that they have WW cream cheese. Well how nice of them to have WW cream cheese to put on WW bagels.. oh wait they didn’t have any… BUT next to the cream cheeses was a display of bagels. “The Alternative Bagel.”

They are by “Western Bagel” and they have a hand full of flavors. I got the Cinnamon Spice because I was looking forward to having my low fat Strawberry Cream Cheese for breakfast in the morning and this sounded like a nice pairing. I had forgotten my stupid WW points calculator, but these bagels say 110 calories on the front of the bag, they are smaller than the average mondo bagel, but not mini, I think this may be a go. Also they have to be refrigerated. I don’t know why. I refrigerate all my breads anyway because I find that they stay fresher. So I buy the bagels and other WW items. I figure if they are high in points JJ will eat them.

I get home and the first thing I do is calculate the bagels. 1 POINT!!!! How happy I was. We went to bed and listened to the birds chirp outside as they were waking up. It was 4am after all.

When I finally got up today I was excited to try my bagels. I figured I would have a bigger breakfast this morning… well early afternoon… than I usually do. I have been having a hard time using up all my points anyway. I have my normal Light Yoplait Yogurt for 2 points, though I saw WW had 1 point flavors at Wal-mart last night. Maybe when I have to limit more of my points I will switch to that. I had a banana for 2 points and then my bagel, toasted with less than a tablespoon of cream cheese. The cream cheese is 1 point for 2 tablespoons, but I don’t really like a lot of cream cheese anyway, so I just counted it as 1 point even though I used way less. And then the bagel for 1 point.

Daily Points: 35
Breakfast: Yogurt 2 points
Banana 2 points
Bagel 1 point
Cream Cheese 1 point
Points left: 29