Inconsistently Consistent

So, I haven’t been on for a while again. Sorry about that blog fans(?) I just get very busy at very random points in my life. Which is crazy right now, by the way. I’m in the process of packing and moving, quitting one job, gaining another, holding my second job AND I just started a business selling pre-paid legal services, as it were. Don’t google it if that interests you though, let me know and I can e-mail some information out to you! (It’s really a very legitimate business, so please, if you’d like more information let me know! ^_^)

On the weight front… I’ve gained 15 lbs since Spring Break. Yesterday was the topper. I cried, I raged, I threw a fit, I pouted, I hated myself, I ate more in desperation, I felt sick from the desperation feeding and then I called my nana. She’s the biggest supporter of my life and she’s going to help me through this. She’s going to help me pay for some personal training at the gym and protein smoothie type things to help me lose weight. She’s right there with me, and is going to keep me strong so… the road to recovery begins again I guess. This will be the time, hopefully.

To the rest of you struggling or not struggling, keep up the good work. We can all do this if we stick together and push through with our willpowers! Let’s keep our chins up and keep marching forward!

*165 lbs*

Day 1 to Recovery

Recovery from food addiction. It’s going to be a long hard road BUT so far so good today! Had a Tbs of nutella and my Greens First and Collagen Supplement, along with coffee for breakfast. Then went out to lunch at a Japanese restaraunt, had edamame, and ONE role of sushi and I’m completely satisfied.

I put a picture of an extremely mordibly obese woman eating a cake all to herself as my background on my phone… sort of as a reminder of what I don’t want to be. So far, it’s actually really helping because I see it every time I get a text or call and it freaks me out. Definitely curbing my appetite.

Don’t know that I’ll get a chance to work out today, but I’m going to keep trucking forward. It’s actually really nice that I came to the realization yesterday that I only have to lose 2 lbs a week (give or take) to reach my goal weight by my birthday/Vegas trip. It’s really good motivation, because it’s so simple and easy to lose a pound and a half in a week without starving myself or running for hours on a treadmill. Made my goal a lot more attainable in my mind.

Also, weighed myself this morning, up another pound. My pledge is to lose 2 lbs by Monday the 16th. :)

*161 lbs*

Going to Buck UP!

Thank you Jewlz, it’s just tough when I know where I was at, y’know? I’m beating myself up a lot right now, but I guess there’s not much I can do about it at the moment because I’m broke and stressed, and don’t have anything healthy to eat. Tomorrow I begin afresh. I’m going to DO IT! It is hard, but it’s good knowing someone is there with me, voting me on. The hard I can live with is restriction, I just have to remember how to tell myself “no.” I mean, I did it once, right?

Today was another disastrous day… but the day before yesterday wasn’t bad. So, slowly but surely I’m getting back into the swing of things. I’m NOT letting Spring Break continue to haunt me anymore! Weighing in tomorrow will suck, but it’ll be another eye opener, hopefully!! I WILL NOT EAT THE SECOND BROWNIE ANY MORE!!! I mean, I must remember that I am still down 55 lbs from the very start, and that, in itself, is a feat. This is the year! I will reach my goal by my birthday (June 25th), so that’s 20 lbs in 7 weeks. That’s a little over 1 lb a week. Actually, that really puts it into perspective how EASY this will be! I WILL DO THIS!!!

Let’s all keep with it together!

*Time to “Cowgirl up and GET TOUGH!”*

 

I’m back!

So… Been really busy what with school and everything. And thanks to the busy and the stressed and the money I’m fatter than ever. I feel disgusting. I can feel my thighs and belly and everything just falling out all over the place. I’ve lost definition and drive and I hate myself. I cried myself to sleep the other night because I played wingman for my roommate and not a single guy even wanted to attempt to talk to me… I’ve never felt so disgusting in all my life.

 

=/

 

I guess today’s the day I start back up on the band wagon… or try… just like every day is the day… and then the chocolate or whatever ends up in front of me again, and I just add to my growing waistline.

 The problem is that I’m steadily gaining, not steadily losing. What the hell Jenna?

*160*

Vacation 3, Jenna 0

Alright. Got home yesterday and just let myself have a day before I get back into things. So far today am on target with somewhere near 1200 calories in me, and a little dessert waiting when I get home.

Weighed in this morning. Up 3 lbs thanks to the week of horrorible eating and no exercise I allowed in San Diego… >.< A little bummed, but more resolved than ever because of it. On the bright side, the new jeans still fit (with a little extra muffin top, nothing a bigger shirt can’t hide! hah) Either way, this isn’t what I wanted, so I’m a little bummed. Just have a lot of cardio ahead of me I guess.

Check in soon! Back to the grind of homework and busy schedules! Planning a video workout tonight (The Firm’s 500 Calorie Workout!)

Fun fun.

*158lbs*

SOOOO EXTATIC!!

So, stayed on track yesterday (even with the In ‘n’ Out fiasco) and didn’t go outside of my alotted calorie limit for the day.

Went to Gramma’s and didn’t turn down her offer of a sandwich, though looking back, shouldn’t have eaten my snack (even if it was just fruit and cheese) because we’re hitting up sushi again tonight. I’m going to stay diligent and not let my eyes get the better of my stomach/brain.

But the good news????  I WIGGLED MY BUTT INTO NEW JEANS ONE SIZE SMALLER THAN WHAT I WAS WEARING!!!!!!! In a million years I never would have expected it, I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to go try them on (if anything, it would motivate me even more if they were tight). To my great and overwhelming suprise they fit! And not all too tightly!! How’s that for Spring Break?

Well, anyhow, off to take advantage of this beautiful Friday weather in San Diego with a jog/walk around the block, before I head home in 2 days.

 

 

 

…YAY!

Awesome…

I’m not asking for someone to be completely on board with me, but you’d think that your own family would understand when you’re on a diet that it’s hard when you’re being constantly tempted and surrounded by things that just aren’t good for you. Their compromise for not eating late (9/10ish)? We’ll go get In ‘n’ Out and you can just make something now. So now I’m left at home, to feel fat, and yearn for In ‘n’ Out while I make my lean cuisine meal and they go have a jolly ol’ time eating Double Double’s with Fries that I practically teared up in want for… Real supportive…

I’ll walk/jog around the block to blow of some steam here soon but… really? No wonder I hate coming home for breaks.

 

Happy freakin’ St. Patty’s Day.

Thursday Cringefest…

So, stepped on that scale this morning. Hoping to have somehow miraculously lost weight between Tuesday’s carbo-loading and now… No such luck. Up 3 pounds for Spring Break. There’s a way to come back to school: “Hi guys! Remember all that weight I lost? Just gained it back in a week, no sweat! Here’s how!” Ha… I feel so fat!!! I did some exercises on the floor last night and with my dad’s perfect pull-up but what I need is some good ol’ fashioned cardio, and that’s extremely difficult for me to do outside, and my dad doesn’t have any gym memberships for me to mooch off of or even a gym-type-thing at home (other than the perfect pull-up thing). Lame sauce on a cake.

I told him today I’m going to be extremely diligent though, so if he’s feeling an outing to food somewhere: NO GO! I cannot tolerate the weight gain I’ve had. It’s just ridiculous!! 2 days???  C’mon Jenna, We’ve got this!!!

Till next time!

*156lbs*

Tuesday Terrors

Looks like Tuesdays are becoming my worst splurge days. Went to my grandmother’s house yesterday to cook with her, a pasttime we’ve done since I was a child, and ended up eating my weight in biscotti dough and shtruddle. And then I had dinner. What’s up with that? I’m going to hope that the fact that I was standing all day in my Reebok EasyTones will add to my calorie burn, so I won’t have to worry as much about it… either way, checked in to a new Self Challenge and am getting my butt back into working out. I’m terrified I’m going to gain back all the weight I lost in this week of vacationing in San Diego.

The largest problem is that everyone from my family in this area of the world is ludicrously unhealthy. They don’t understand portion size and they don’t care that I try not to eat past 6. I feel rather bitchy reminding them what not to eat all the time, but they eat in excess all the bad things for you. “Okay, Jenna,” the reader says, “Get over yourself and just modify your meals. You know what to do, you have the knowledge about foods. Make your own similar meals in the healthy way!” All well and good, if you’re not being dragged along to Mexican restaurants every time you go to out to eat. “So don’t go out!” the reader cries in my ear. Sure! But I’m not the one paying, and my father wants to spend time with me. Who am I to break his heart and tell him I’m going to stay home? We’re planning on eating sushi tonight, shouldn’t be too bad for me, if my research is right… we all saw how horribly that went with chicken wings though.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: I weighed in yesterday at 154. :) (granted, that was yesterday morning, before the splurge to end all splurges…) Didn’t weigh this morning, not sure if I will tomorrow. Need to get my happy butt moving today if I even want to consider that I’ve lost any weight at all, or burned any calories.

Well, off to double check sushi calories!

*154lbs*

Bloat

Have been a looooot better about calories today. Pretty sure I still went over (kind of had to keep food in me to fend off the hangover from a binge induced binge of alcohol with the roommate, they don’t call it “fat Tuesday” for nothing, right?) but I did alright. I kept it under 2000c, I’m sure, and I did burn at least 500 calories at the gym today. Some elliptical, and some weight circuits. Not bad all in all, though feeling bloated and icky from yesterday still. Awesome.

Tomorrow, I’m going to be diligent!!

I’m also going to do my homework, and figure out how to get this working on my WordPress app on my android… maybe.

On the bright side, only ate chocolate today on an accident. I’m sure God understands and that my lent isn’t a complete bust, seeing as it just started today. :)