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Detox: Day 1

I really don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of starting and restarting plans, doing well for a week, and then giving in to cravings. I don’t think I have ever really qualified as a binge eater until recently. Over the past couple of months I have been eating obnoxious amounts of horrible foods, and the guilt is starting to weight on me so heavily. When I look in the mirror, I see the girl I was at 234lbs. I don’t see any success. I don’t see any happiness gained. All I see is that I’m in the exact same position that I was back then, even now at 183, and it’s just painful.

Maybe this is going to be another dead-end attempt, but what else do I do but keep trying? I promised myself I would never feel like this again. Well, the promise is broken, but I know I don’t want to stay in this mindset. I need to get out while I still can, before I start putting twenty or thirty pounds between me and my goal. I need to act now, while I can still see that goal not far off. I just hope this time it works.

 

Breakfast: banana, apple oatmeal

Lunch: sausage, onions, mushrooms, potatoes (~ 3 cups)

Snacks: 2 bowls of chocolate cheerios

-_-

Overall daily grade: F

 

4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    pepagirl said,

    May 9, 2012 @ 8:57 pm

    Welcome back from hiatus! We have all been there, most multiple times and while it always sucks, we have to let it go. You’ve done it before and you can do it again! Good luck on your detox!

  2. 2

    jewlz280 said,

    May 12, 2012 @ 10:17 am

    Believe it or not, we all go through this. It’s different in ways for all of us, but it’s all similar in that we ride the up and down roller coaster and doubt what we already know — that we CAN do this. And you CAN do it — you just need to find your real motivation and do it because you want it for you. But you can’t beat yourself up over falling overboard. We all do it and we all have to dust ourselves off and get back up. And I know you’ve heard this before, but as long as you keep getting up and trying, you’ve not quit. And as long as you haven’t quit, there’s a good chance of winning the battle. You only lose if you quit. I hope you’re doing well and starting to get back into the groove — I miss hearing from you! Just don’t give up!

  3. 3

    pepagirl said,

    May 31, 2012 @ 2:39 pm

    Mass notice to all my bloggy buddies! Dysfunctional Barbie is hosting challenge this month and looking for sign ups! If you’re interested in joining contact her at her blog http://dysfunctionalbarbie01.blogspot.com/ and let her know! Hope to see you all there, Pepa

    PS: JEL WHERE ARE YOU!? WE MISS YOU!!!

  4. 4

    dysfunctionalbarbie said,

    June 1, 2012 @ 1:05 pm

    Awesome! http://biggestloserchallengeblog.blogspot.ca/ This is where I’m hosting it. The rules are up. :) I haven’t set up any teams yet this will all be done Sunday night. I want to give more people a chance to join if they like!

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