I really don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of starting and restarting plans, doing well for a week, and then giving in to cravings. I don’t think I have ever really qualified as a binge eater until recently. Over the past couple of months I have been eating obnoxious amounts of horrible foods, and the guilt is starting to weight on me so heavily. When I look in the mirror, I see the girl I was at 234lbs. I don’t see any success. I don’t see any happiness gained. All I see is that I’m in the exact same position that I was back then, even now at 183, and it’s just painful.
Maybe this is going to be another dead-end attempt, but what else do I do but keep trying? I promised myself I would never feel like this again. Well, the promise is broken, but I know I don’t want to stay in this mindset. I need to get out while I still can, before I start putting twenty or thirty pounds between me and my goal. I need to act now, while I can still see that goal not far off. I just hope this time it works.
Breakfast: banana, apple oatmeal
Lunch: sausage, onions, mushrooms, potatoes (~ 3 cups)
Snacks: 2 bowls of chocolate cheerios
Overall daily grade: F