I know, it’s been a super long time. And yes pepa, I got all of your “wtf where are you’s!?” T_T I’m so sorry! I just haven’t found the time, or the motivation to come on. There was so much happening in my life that it just seemed daunting to try and catch everyone up on. But not JUST that. When I’m off plan I feel ashamed to come onto my blog and post about my failure. I wanted to be stronger before I came back, and I feel like I am where I want to be, and confident enough to say I’m ready to try this again. My new starting weight was 181lbs, and my new goal is 167lbs. My goal of this week is to lose 2.5lbs by Monday/Tuesday weigh in (depending on how my Monday goes). I’m determined to set smaller goals for myself, because setting big ones has been very disheartening to me.
Lately I’ve been doing a lot better mentally, and physically. I’m not in tip top shape, or as happy and carefree as I would like to be, but I can’t lie and say that even with my struggles, I am not improving in other aspects of my life, and I am proud of myself for that. I’m steadily becoming less afraid to take some time for myself. That has lead to a much more productive Jelbelle, and when Jelbelle is productive in one field, she is usually productive in others. I will also be starting counseling on the 21st of March for my anger issues, and hopefully that will be a homerun, and not a foul.
Like I said, there’s been so much that has happened between now and…err, two months ago >.< I’m so sorry! So I won’t try and run through all that in a superlong post. I’ll just get to what is important to me right this moment. This bout of productivity that I am in right now, has been one of my most industrious times. For a long time I’ve planned that I would be self-publishing my first novel, 2011, in September. But as I want it to be the first novel I charge for, I came up with a pre-plan to release some free samples of my writings. Something fun and creative that would strike people’s interest, and encourage them to read more of my work, and also be willing to pay 99cents to $2.99 for a copy of 2011.
So how was I going to do that? I’ve always wanted to right a sort of episodic series of short stories that were based in magic realism and the world of steampunk. I’ve had the outline for the stories for nearly a year, but I never had the motivation to even begin to try it out. Well, I found out about this writing contest at my university, and I wanted to enter the contest with the first episode of “Carnival”. I used the deadline to keep me motivated, and at the beginning of the month I was able to finish the first story entirely, and I am really, really proud of it. It’s hard for me, as an artist, to be really happy or satisfied with my work. I like everything that I do, but I always feel like it could be so much better. Well, “Carnival” has proved to be my little diamond. I love writing it, and I love how each sentence turns out. And that, to me, is a feat.
I was so inspired after finishing the first episode, that I plowed through the second one. I’m currently working on that right now, and I hope to finish it either today or early tomorrow, and try to start on the third. They are fairly short little tales, about 10-15 pages long each depending on the episode. I’m not much of a short story writer, but when I don’t concentrate on the plot so much, I think I do an okay job at them. I’m always going to be partial to novels, but like I said, I’m really proud of my work. So proud, in fact, that I thought, well, hey. I need to do this. I’m 20 years old, what am I waiting for? I need to really start promoting myself.
I’m planning on traveling to different conventions and (mostly) steampunk gatherings to market “Carnival”. I’m putting together some brochures to have printed off, which have little excerpts from the story, and links to my deviantArt account, and it will also feature some artwork from the story that I am having commission right now. If you want to check it out, here are some screenies of the brochures so far (feedback is awesome!):
Seem like something that would catch your eye?
Well, I hope so! Because I will be passing these around to build myself a little fanbase and try to get myself out there.
So this is my current project! I’ve also made a blogspot and a wordpress account under my (firmly decided) penname: Jadeyn Versailles. I figure, whatev. Jadeyn is masculine enough, and if I present myself as a male, which I typically tend to do, then that’s fine. And I just can’t drop the Versailles, because it means too much to me, and nothing will ever sit right. (Sort of like when you can’t afford your dream dress, so you try to find a replacement, but nothing lives up to the standards of that one you love best? Same deal.) I haven’t done much with these accounts yet, because it’s really overwhelming @_@ I know, I can blog about everything in the world on here, but on there… I just dunno what to say. Advice?
And finally, for anybody who wants to read “Carnival” :3 and I really hope that you will! It’s currently posted in snippets on my deviantArt, the link is on my blogroll —->
And if you do happen to read, let it be known that I am looking for reviews to put in my brochures. All I need is a little blurb about what you thought about the story thus far, my writing style, or something like that. You know, like movie reviews. And if I have your permission, I would love to feature your quote in my brochure (you know, to make myself look good, lol)
Well that’s enough ramble for my return post XD