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The Choice

Starting Weight: 169.6
Next Weigh-in: Sunday, September 4th
This Week’s goal: -1 lb

Thanks for all the good vibes girlies! And yes goodnuff, unfortunately you’ll have to wait a little while to hear more details. Maybe not the full 36 weeks, but probably not before 2012. So my weight is back down after another crappy week. I keep telling myself I need to get back on track, but I was still making bad decisions. Then, today I woke up, dinked around for a couple of hours, and got the sudden motivation to do my Turbo Jam. I ended up doing two different routines for an hour, and my day completely flipped. Suddenly I was wanting to exercise again, and making good food choices.

I even went for my six mile today, and while I was out, I started thinking. I know how to do this, it’s just that when I go off plan, I choose to be off plan. It’s not because my will is failing, or because I’m emotionally distressed, I just don’t make the choice to stay on target. And it’s not because I’m not motivated enough– I have plenty of motivation. My biggest problem is complacency, and a disregard for cause and effect. In other words, I have really been taking my metabolism for granted. After my first weight loss journey, I’m thinking my metabolism really sky-rocketed, and the rate at which I burn calories, even at rest, is pretty high. That’s why it’s been relatively easy for me to maintain. Sometimes I’ll think “Oh this pizza won’t hurt me too bad”. I just find reasons to talk myself into eating it even knowing that it will put weight loss on hold. I don’t know what I’ve been thinking these past months. When I woke up today, I didn’t know that I would try so hard to make it an on plan day. I just instantly kicked back into gear. No one needed to tell me. I made the choice. I know that the routine I love is being active and healthy. That is the me I love to be. When I’m not on plan, I really feel like I’m being a false person.

Lately I’ve felt so tired all the time. I’ll be begging for a nap by one in the afternoon, and then another at maybe six. I think that my lethargy is directly related to my unhealthy choices. When I do work out I have a lot more energy. I’ve been wanting that energy back. I’m counting my many blessings that I managed to pull 169 on the scale again. But I have to make the choice to get to 168 and below. I’m hoping this pep talk will make something stick with me, so I don’t have a repeat of the last two weeks.

But I’m over all that blecky stuff. I promised some pics from my new wardrobe. I’ve only done two outfits so far. I’ll take more pictures as I start mixing and matching things. As for my hair, there’s really nothing different about it except it looks more naturally straight. It’s always straight, but after a few years the chemicals from my first relaxer were long gone, so I was just relying on my flat iron. Now it’s a lot more manageable, but it doesn’t physically look any different. Anyhoodles, here are piccies:

 

2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    jewlz280 said,

    August 29, 2011 @ 12:03 pm

    I’m super in love with your cute jacket! SUPER! I wish I was as motivated as you. I try to be, but many days (like today) I just can’t seem to drag it out of myself. I fail for so many reasons, and all are my own fault. I try to accept these flaws in myself and keep moving forward, but I still manage to fall off the horse sometimes. But at least I keep getting back up! And that’s what you do, too. You may fall off, but you get right back up. And I think THAT is what matters. Not avoiding pizza for the rest of your life or eating or working out perfect, but continuing to keep trying. You really do inspire quite a few of us!

  2. 2

    goodnuff said,

    August 31, 2011 @ 12:10 am

    Yep, agreed. Once again you managed the right words to stop me in my track of destructive behavior. I love that it takes you less and less timeto get back on track. Yeah, you pretty much rock.
    Love the outfits, totally digging the pink sneakers!

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