Week 2: Day 5: Construction
Let me tell you about a theory my best friend and I devised a while back after her parents went through a divorce, and she (my friend) went to live with her mother, and her mother’s 20 year old boyfriend. Since then, we have found only more convincing evidence to prove this theory, so christened the “Mother’s Regression Concept”. Granted, this concept is more like a disorder in the sense that not all mother’s go through this monumental life shift. But alas, believe you me, it exists.
I should have you all know that yes, my mother is on my blogroll. Yes, she can read this if she so chooses, as well as any comments I may receive. Don’t let that censor or hinder and replies, please and thanks.
To explain the background story would take far too many words, and way too much of your time. I’ll try to compact it without villainizing anyone. Firstly, I’m 18. I’ll be 19 December 1st. I graduated high school last spring, attended Monroe Community College for two semesters, and this past August I transferred to Wayne State University because of it’s absolutely amazing English program. WSU is in Detroit. I currently live 40 minutes away from Detroit, and I do not have a driver’s license, or my own car. These are all just facts. The actual “story” part comes from my life. I grew up with a single mother, and was only really close to the grandparents on her side. Recently my mother has started “dating”. Not that I’m gungho about it, but I don’t think it’s the dating part I dislike. It’s who she dates. A while ago, and the amount of time gets a little muddled, but I can safely say for the past 4ish years she hasn’t lived at home. She’s lived with her “boyfriend”. With the exception of stupid break ups, things like this, when she would spend a couple days a week to a month or so at home, but for the most part, she hasn’t lived here. So I’ll reiterate, 4ish years, and I’m 18.
Honestly, I have no problem living alone. I prefer it. I prefer it because we have a very small house and I like my space. I like being able to play my music loud at 3am. I like walking around naked in my living room. You get the idea. I’ve done absolutely fine on my own (despite the grandparents disagreement), and my NUMBER ONE PRIORITY has always been school. Why? I love school. I also love my career path. I love writing. I hated the community college. They treated me like some ten year old special education child. When I transferred to WSU it was like a dream come true. I’ve always wanted to be at a big university, and even though I don’t have the ideal “campus lifestyle”, I still love being there, and the classes. The 40 minute commute has been an absolute pain in the ass. One, I have to get up earlier than I would if I lived near school. Two, while at school, there are no breaks, I have to be there all day because I have no where else to go. Three, I don’t drive, so I rely on my mom to drop me off and pick me up. You can imagine the problems. It was much easier when I went to MCCC and only had a ten minute drive to school, and I could rely on my grandparents as well as my friends to give me rides when I needed. I can’t do that now.
If you’ve read my blog a while, you might have seen me mention that I am trying to find a job in order to move to Detroit. Mykul and I have had this plan for a while now. He’ll be graduating and attending WSU next fall. I don’t want to have to go another year of commuting, so I thought it would just be a lot easier for us to move up there. But it’s not that simple. Neither Mykul or I have jobs, and we live in a small town. Monroe, MI has one of the country’s highest unemployment rates. What’s worse is that I have absolutely no work experience. I apply to a lot of places often, and nothing ever comes through. Even jobs that friends have referred to me haven’t come through. My only source of “income” is cleaning my grandma’s house, which merits me a whopping $30 a week. Really? That’s pocket change. Seeing as how if I want anything other than food, I have to buy it myself. You think I can buy an apartment in Detroit on $30 a week? Hahahaha.
Now the other side of the story? My mom worked at Ford. In a nutshell, Ford shut down, she’s out of a job. Not out of payment, exactly, she still gets a very small paycheck, but as you can imagine it doesn’t really do jack shit. I understand that. She is currently going to community college to get a business degree, but you know, till she actually has that, this is how crap is going down. We have no money. The only way I’m going to WSU is because of government grants.
My grandma did start a checking account for me, which has grown and shrunk over the months. I’ve used the money to buy books as well as random things that I want. I try my best to balance it with the money that I make from cleaning. In the fall, my computer’s Word program absolutely crashed. I had problems with it anyways, but that was the final straw. Mother promised she’d get me a new computer in October, but I needed it right then. I’m a writer. I need to effing write. So I bought the new computer myself, and told her she owed me for it when her financial aid check it. Some other things happened, she’s up to owing me $700. Yep. $700 out of my, what $3000 I had before? $3000 dwindled down to $900, I got a loan for $1700. So at least there’s that. But pretty much, right now, I’m cruising at maybe $1200 of my OWN money that I earned. I’m afraid to use the loan because I don’t want to not be able to pay it back.
Now the problem: the commuting. In the summer it was said that I could use my grandpa’s spare car as my school car. Well, that car died, so he bought a new Focus. The Focus was now my “school car”. But he was using a spare care because he has a big truck, and he didn’t want to drive it back and forth from work because of gas costs. The Focus was never “my” car. It was HIS car that I was supposed to borrow to take to school.
Since I still don’t have a license, I was practicing driving to and from school for a while. I don’t like driving my mom’s Explorer as much because it’s big. So on Monday we took the Explorer, on Wednesday we took the Focus. Then my mom would use the Focus to drive to her classes and such, I guess when she drove the Focus she didn’t have to pay for gas. Gradually I wouldn’t drive as much (because I plain don’t like it) so generally she would drive. The only reason Grandpa lent us the Focus is for me to drive, but as long as we didn’t tell them I wasn’t driving, no harm no foul.
Yeah well. Last Wednesday my mother decided to bring her stupid ass effing boyfriend to pick me up from school. I don’t know why, I don’t really give a crap. The one thing I asked is that he stay the hell away from me. But no, I had to sit 40 minutes in the Focus with him. And yeah. It pissed me off. I hate the hell out of him. So, like the bitch I am, I told my grandparents that I wasn’t driving the Focus. They, in turn, told my mom that we couldn’t drive the Focus to school because I wasn’t driving it. Apparently this ticked her off (that was the point, next time don’t bring that idiot with you, and yeah, you had a choice).
So, she was angry at the grandparents. Whatever. We could have avoided this if you didn ‘t bring him in the car with you. And fact of the matter is, the grandparents have every right to deny her use of the car. Now, if I ask to borrow the car, yes, they will give it to me. So technically I didn’t get screwed in the deal. Instead, I arranged a game night tonight, but my mom refused to come because she was mad at the grandparents (ugh, get over it already). So I called her today and she said she would come over for a little while at 8 because that was oh so convenient for her. On the phone she mentioned that she wasn’t thrilled about seeing the grandparents, to which I responded “Why? They didn’t do anything.” I don’t really think the Focus thing is family feud worthy. Well she gave me this whole stupid cry baby spiel, and mostly it boils down to now she has to pay for the gas on Wednesday. Oh big deal. Do your damn job. REGARDLESS of whether or not I have a driver’s license, one of us is getting screwed. If I had a license, I would have to pay $200 in parking fees PER SEMESTER (remember that $1200 I have in my bank account, oh boy! I can tell this is going to last me a long time, especially with that apartment I have to pay for and all) PLUS gas money. So once I exhaust my bank account, where do I turn then?
I get that money is an issue. But what do you think I am? I have no job. I have no way of getting a job. She still owes me $700. If gas in that big of a freaking problem, man up and ask the grandparents to effing pay for it before you bankrupt us both. INSTEAD of throwing a tantrum at 30 something years old.
That wonderful phone call ended with me telling her to come over for game night at 8, like she effing said she would, and her telling me to forget it and then hanging up on me.
Damn, I see that 13-year rearing her ugly head.
This is just one episode. I’m tiring myself out dealing with her childish attitude. About everything. It’s one thing, or it’s another. At this point, I’m ready to find a good therapist for her. I’m sure I could probably use one for my anger issues, or straight up betchiness, but these are actually qualities I pride myself on having.
Believe me, I wish I could support myself too. I wish I had a job so that paying $200 in parking plus gas money each semester wouldn’t scare the hell out of me. I wish I had my own freaking car. I wish I had an apartment so I could avoid the situation entirely. I wish. I wish. I wish. Well until your wishes come true, you have to work around them and make do, and hope it all pays off in the end.
No, this is just adding on to all the other bullcrap. Just one more shed of proof for the Mother’s Regression Concept. I love when parents stomp their feet and throw tantrums because life is hard. Get a damn helmet.
It’s funny. I actually used to look up to her.