Its not the jeans that make me look fat — its the FAT!!!

Strange weekend after registering a two pound loss on the Wii Fit Saturday - I felt quite good about myself and then headed out dress shopping with my mom. I didn’t know the store she wanted to take me too and I kept asking if they cater to larger sizes. The second store we were going to try definitely did. Anyway my mom felt positive and I waited until we got there. Yes they had larger sizes but NOTHING I even wanted to try on. My mom pulls one dress off the rack and says “just try on the jacket”. Now I buy in Plus Size and yes the sizing is pleasing to my ego. So when I try on a size 20 jacket and can’t even come close to doing it up I am ready to pack it in right then and there. I was furious with myself and with the fashion industry. I was positive I had no right in this store. Of course the owner of the store kept saying “its just a number” - well its a FRIKKEN HIGH NUMBER!!! I worked hard to get out of the 20’s and will wear t-shirts and sweat pants before I go back there again.

My mom was so happy to have me there and the owner was being so helpful I decided to go along with some of the items they pulled for me - oh and remember I LOATH SHOPPING at the best of times. They bring me this one beige dress and this time the 20 was too big and the 18 was just fine. But it was beige and had no shape whatsoever. She then brings me the same dress in navy blue — it look better in the darker colour but geesh my decor is navy blue - white and green. I would look like part of the decor rather than the accent. So I am ready to pack it in - I have now tried on more dresses than I probably have in the last 5 years. Ironically my mom met an old neighbour (I used to babysit her) - they were talking (I wasn’t in the mood LOL). So I decided we were there I should make one last concerted effort to see what was available. I kept being attracted to this darling little dress on one rack - no way it was my size or style but I wandered to the rack anyway and on the next side was this beautiful size 18 three piece dress. In a lovely ice blue - I put on the jacket and it felt good - then I tried on the skirt and top and for the first time since we walked in the store I smiled - I really smiled. I LOVED it!!!!

So I have my dress - its lovely - I am going to leave the length long, even if I am having an afternoon wedding - -I am the bride and if my groom can wear a formal suit I can wear a formal looking dress. Besides I won’t have to wear pantyhose if I leave it long and lets face it that is a BONUS!!!!

Pictures will be posted after the wedding - until then the dress will remain under cover.

Now I can’t really loose any weight nor can I put any on but I sure would like to tone things up - back to where I was last summer before all my (and my mom’s) health issues hit.

Stringing together a lot of very good days with my eating. I am amazed at how well this is going. I am not being perfect by any means but keeping the fridge stocked with good choices and keeping the bad choices out of the cupboards is the best bet for me. I look back and think of what I used to do on a regular basis that don’t even clock in on my eating radar now.

The weather has cooled off and with that my moving will increase so I am looking forward to slowly and surely seeing some improvment. Yesterday I got home from work and my sweetie grabbed the car keys from me and went to his chiropractor and massage appointment. I started to tidy up the kitchen and then decided that it was so nice out that I would walk over to the chiropractors office and surprise him. It was a lovely walk - only about 15 minutes but that to me is better than nothing. The look of surprise and happiness on his face when he saw me waiting for him was WAYYY COOOLLLL.

We are heading out for dinner with his uncle from Australia tomorrow and for the first time ever I am not obsessing about what I am going to order - I will eat what I feel like eating. I will go armed with the calorie counts and that will help me make choices but the bottom line is I will eat what I want - just not be foolish.

Feeling really good about my eating right now - I should fire up my calorie counter but I know I am doing well. The other day I decided to measure out my cereal because I felt like I was pouring out extra each morning. I was amazed to measure out the cup and find out it was pretty much exactly what I was pouring on my own. I guess that is part of my success with the tiny losses. Once we get through this heat wave I will be able to get moving even more. Neither of us have felt like going out and it doesn’t cool off until after 9pm and by then we are just too tired.

Got my engagement book from Shutterfly yesterday - I was pleased how it looked online and the real thing is even better. My son was so impressed - I can hardly wait to start working on his book for Christmas. I am going to compile all the pictures of him and his dad (some with the three of us LOL). It should be a nice keepsake for him. I have also asked my mom to get all her old favourite family photos (really old ones) and I will scan them and write down what they mean to us. Cool projects - sort of like scrapbooking but no glue - YAY!!!

Ok how cool is this - I forgot that I wanted to make August 5th my day one (yet again LOL) and guess what it was!!!! I got up yesterday and packed up my lunch and made a concerted effort all day to eat right. Didn’t move too much at work which is unusual but we did get out for our evening walk. It was still warm and uncomfortable at 8 but we did it. We are going to do our best to set aside an hour in the evening to either do something on the Wii or get out and walk when the weather is nice.

Yesterday was the first day of my sweetie’s new job. He walked to work in the morning and I was able to pick him up - -its reversed now. For now the shift he is on I can drop him off but he has to walk home. We are doing our best to make up for not car-pooling. We may not be car-pooling to perfection but we are saving almost 4000 miles a year on the car with his new job. Also with the added extra time at home we will use that time to our health benefit. Funny I would get home at 5 before and graze until dinner time. Yesterday we got home at 4 and I ate my normal 3 o’clock snack and had dinner an hour earlier so this should save me quite a few calories in the day.

I was watching Dr Phil yesterday about fat abusers (miserable spouses). One fellow was 305 pounds and ate a horrid absolutely horrid diet. It was pointed out to him that all he had to quit in his day was the Mountain Dew and ice cream and he would drop close to 100 pounds. Its stuff like that that pisses me off to no end. I stop almost all my crap in my daily diet - work out like crazy and end up dropping nothing in a year. I HATE that math - this guy can still eat his cheesy fries (according to his calorie intake) but only had to stop one treat and lose weight - ARGHHHHH Ok enough of that rant. I must keep going the way I am going my goal to lose the 10 pounds before the wedding is slipping away on me but I won’t put 10 pounds on - I refuse!!!

Still fluffy but will be getting back to “norm” next week. Hoping to make August 5th day 1 (yet again). We will be getting an extra hour to hour and a half in our day at home now. Both of us would like to use that time wisely for both our health benefits. We will play with Wii on bad days - go for walks on nice days - just hopefully do what we need to do and I have to get back to weighing and measuring. I am not being horribly bad - but not being great either. I will admit yesterday I was jonesing for a treat when we went shopping. I bought my sweetie two huge cookies and wandered through the bakery section looking for something. Thank goodness for the calorie labels. I had one delicious looking chocolate mousse cake in my hands — I turned it over and it was 770 calories!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Back it went and I bought a small slice of carrot cake (that’s healthy right?? LOL). At least it will take about three sittings to eat the cake - probably about 300 calories a sitting - so much better — right??? LOL

My mom wants to take me dress shopping - so I will have to suck it up and buy something fabulous - it just won’t be a size 12. I saw one style online the other day that looks gorgeous - hoping I can find something similar to try on. The wedding is becoming a larger monster than I had hoped for - my list is getting longer and the date is looming. Just have to breath and get it done - before I know it, it will be Oct 19 and it will be all over but the bills to pay

Went on a bike ride on Sunday - so frikken nice. What with all the construction around our area I had to get off and walk a few times. I am sure my sweetie was thinking are we on a bike ride or a bike push?? LMAO. Been eating ok - I would say I am about 80% good which is just maintaining eating - I keep hoping that my foot will feel better soon with all the care and attention its getting. I am not sure when I can get back to my classes but I do know when my sweetie changes job at the beginning of August because we are going to have an extra hour a day we are going to be using that hour to go for a walk or play with Wii. This is a vow we have made to each other. Now that we have the PVR no excuse to watch any show at 7 — so the hour between 7 and 8 will be our exercise time. Because we get home so late now we are usually cooking dinner at 7 — so no time to walk or anything after work. I am thrilled that my sweetie is happy to do this with me. As it is he will be walking or riding his bike to work every day. Its about a 10 minute walk and less than 5 minute bike ride - so very very cool. We worked it out yesterday and we will be saving 6000km a year wear and tear on our car - so that is a great thing.

Now if I can only take as good care of myself - lets turn that 80% into 90% and I will be happy happy happy with myself.

So I got up this morning (sweetie is off to work) and I fired up my Wii Fit for the first time in 2 weeks (just before vacation). I am stunned that I registered a .2 pound weight loss. Something MUST be wrong with the electronics. But dang it all I will take it any way I can. I will watch what I eat now - no more mindless grazing - although I will admit I wouldn’t quite call it mindless. Everything I choose to eat had a calorie count and I made sure I didn’t go over. My biggest splurge over the last two weeks has been cherries — I LOVE LOVE LOVE fresh cherries and they are good for my constitution I know the calorie count is HUGE but its a treat that I only get once a year. If I decided to treat myself to a bucket of ice cream that is different because I know after a week of indulgence I can go back to the store and get some more. I don’t think the cherries will be around much past next week. So once a year I will treat myself to my fresh cherries - once they are gone I can forget about them until next season. No time this morning to do the workout but I will get back on it this afternoon and hopefully tomorrow my sweetie and I can take the bikes out for a lovely ride. The weather right now is just frikken perfect. Lovely and warm (not hot) during the day and it cools down so much in the evening if we leave the back door open I have to put a blanket on to watch TV. Sleeping at night is fabulous and we haven’t even had to turn on the fan for about 4 nights now. Just saw the forcast for the next week and its another week of sunshine and perfect temperatures (about 22 which is 75 US degrees LOL)

And another good thing I accomplished this past week is to get my list started. My friend that is going to be my day of planner for the wedding sat down and compiled a list - bounced ideas off of each other, made a decision about the linens and just really got things ready for the home stretch. My next biggest task is to make a spreadsheet of all the addresses for the invitations and finish off my photobook on Shutterfly. I decided to create a photobook capturing our year of being engaged and used two of the pages for guest’s signatures. I thought I was being so smart until I went onto a wedding message board and saw several other brides have done much the same thing LOL. Well I did think of the idea myself - just turned out it wasn’t so unique.

Before I start — Z  I love you!!!!  I love your comment but I will stick with my blog name (for now).  I LOVE ironic statements and I just love this saying.  I can send you a picture of me that would confirm my whole body image issue. I just choose to delete those sort of pictures.  As a matter of fact just last week my darling showed me a picture his mother took when we were together last.  In the picture was myself looking every one of my 240 pounds - no word of a lie.  My darling looked like he had either just suffered a stroke or finished off an entire keg of beer on his own.  Her husband was also in the picture stuffing his face with something and huge beer in the other hand waiting to be guzzled. Candid pictures are one thing but constantly taking pictures when people are eating or from bad angles is just rude in my opinion. Why she thought we would even be interested in seeing that picture is beyond me - but a lot of what that woman does is beyond me and my way of life.  Ohhh so where was I?  Until I find another fitting ironic phrase  I will keep this one but just know I love you dearly for the kind consideration and always being my favourite New England cheerleader. 

Jumped on my Wii yesterday and ate well most of the day. No surprise I had a weight gain on the Wii - but I won’t let it get me down - just made me want to dig in and move more and eat a bit less. Would have been a good day but I got screwed up at lunch time - - BIG mistake!!! You would think I would learn by now if I miss my lunch I only eat more in the afternoon. Silly and stupid - but I was busy taking mom to the chiropractor and then wanted to take her out for lunch but she was not quite up to it. I was able to take her to Starbucks - I had a tiny scone there — yes they make tiny ones - really tiny I thought that would hold me over but when I got home later it just crept up on me. I made some pasta and put some tzaziki sauce on it - not a huge whack of calories but certainly more than I would have eaten for lunch and for snack. I had started to input my calories for the day and had reached 877 before I ate the pasta - sighs. Sunday we got up early and went to the farmer’s market I stocked up on fresh cherries. Once again I only get to eat them for about a month of the year. I won’t eat them out of season so its a treat and I have enjoyed them so far.

Actually on the topic of seasonal treats. We have local strawberries here that are second to none. The season is very very short but they are very very good. I try to get one serving in each year. My mom was telling me her friend waits all year to make good old fashioned short cake and fresh whipped cream - all covered in the fresh BC strawberries. I could do with a once a year treat like that - a real indulgence that you can only do once because the seasons dictate it. Hmmmm something to think about.

Oh and the best news of all is I finally decided on the colours for my wedding. Quite honestly at first I wasn’t going to worry too much about decor (still not) and colours. There is no wedding party, no theme so I thought why bother. But as time is growing closer I started to think I should begin to think about invitations and place cards etc. One thing let to another and from the beginning I knew I wanted navy blue linens on the tables with white napkins. The other day I was tossing around some ideas in my head and it occured to me an accent decor item and colour - apple green. So it all came together, navy blue, white and apple green. I found some great flower ideas using green apples in the vases or bowls. Each place card would be pinned to a green apple - the ideas are endless. So I am excited about that and can hardly wait until I can try out some of the styles with my friends. I just have to decide a few different things so that my caterer knows what to order from the linen supplier. I will keep you posted - YAY. Here are some of the inspirations.

So I did it I stepped on my Wii for the first time in two weeks on Saturday morning. I guess behaving myself brought a bit of success. I lost about .5 pounds. One of those YIPPEEE moments and I can only imagine how good it would have been had I truely stuck to plan. I kept to it rather well over the rest of the weekend. Besides it was just too stinking hot to want to eat - drank lots of water. But certainly no desire to get up and exercise on Sunday. As it was I got up and made some mac and cheese for my mom - so I was up at 7am boiling mac and baking it in the oven. She was thrilled that I learned to make it the way she likes it - not too hard make a decent cheese sauce and lots of cheese on top.

Another wicked week ahead and then next week off. So far we have changed our plans three times (we are not usually that indecisive). We were going to go to the Island (Vancouver Island - gorgeous) but that was proving to be way too expensive. So we decided to head to Washington State - not do too much but just get away for a couple of nights. Last week I got a message from one of my travel sites — they post their top 20 travel deals every week. Low and behold one of the most beautiful hotels on the island was on sale for 50% off - saving us almost $300. So we cancelled Washington and booked the island again. This should be it - we only have another week before we leave. I know my sweetie is happier with going to the Island - more to do and we will be going out Orca watching one day. That will complete our whale trifecta for the last 13 months. Grey whales last June in Oregon, Humpbacks in Maui in January and now if all goes well he will see Orca’s for the first time in the wild. Its a sight to see - something I put on my life list almost 10 years ago. I was able to cross it off my list that same year. We were on a trip to the island and booked a day on a boat. It was FABULOUS!!! Intelligent beautiful creatures and I swear they put on a show for all the boats - led us on a merry chase away from where they like to hang out. Really and truly after about an hour of leading all the boat from their area - they all turned in unison and headed back. It was breathtaking. So keep your fingers crossed for us that my sweet darling gets to experience the same thrill that I did 10 years ago.