Its not the jeans that make me look fat — its the FAT!!!

Strange weekend after registering a two pound loss on the Wii Fit Saturday - I felt quite good about myself and then headed out dress shopping with my mom. I didn’t know the store she wanted to take me too and I kept asking if they cater to larger sizes. The second store we were going to try definitely did. Anyway my mom felt positive and I waited until we got there. Yes they had larger sizes but NOTHING I even wanted to try on. My mom pulls one dress off the rack and says “just try on the jacket”. Now I buy in Plus Size and yes the sizing is pleasing to my ego. So when I try on a size 20 jacket and can’t even come close to doing it up I am ready to pack it in right then and there. I was furious with myself and with the fashion industry. I was positive I had no right in this store. Of course the owner of the store kept saying “its just a number” - well its a FRIKKEN HIGH NUMBER!!! I worked hard to get out of the 20’s and will wear t-shirts and sweat pants before I go back there again.

My mom was so happy to have me there and the owner was being so helpful I decided to go along with some of the items they pulled for me - oh and remember I LOATH SHOPPING at the best of times. They bring me this one beige dress and this time the 20 was too big and the 18 was just fine. But it was beige and had no shape whatsoever. She then brings me the same dress in navy blue — it look better in the darker colour but geesh my decor is navy blue - white and green. I would look like part of the decor rather than the accent. So I am ready to pack it in - I have now tried on more dresses than I probably have in the last 5 years. Ironically my mom met an old neighbour (I used to babysit her) - they were talking (I wasn’t in the mood LOL). So I decided we were there I should make one last concerted effort to see what was available. I kept being attracted to this darling little dress on one rack - no way it was my size or style but I wandered to the rack anyway and on the next side was this beautiful size 18 three piece dress. In a lovely ice blue - I put on the jacket and it felt good - then I tried on the skirt and top and for the first time since we walked in the store I smiled - I really smiled. I LOVED it!!!!

So I have my dress - its lovely - I am going to leave the length long, even if I am having an afternoon wedding - -I am the bride and if my groom can wear a formal suit I can wear a formal looking dress. Besides I won’t have to wear pantyhose if I leave it long and lets face it that is a BONUS!!!!

Pictures will be posted after the wedding - until then the dress will remain under cover.

Now I can’t really loose any weight nor can I put any on but I sure would like to tone things up - back to where I was last summer before all my (and my mom’s) health issues hit.

Stringing together a lot of very good days with my eating. I am amazed at how well this is going. I am not being perfect by any means but keeping the fridge stocked with good choices and keeping the bad choices out of the cupboards is the best bet for me. I look back and think of what I used to do on a regular basis that don’t even clock in on my eating radar now.

The weather has cooled off and with that my moving will increase so I am looking forward to slowly and surely seeing some improvment. Yesterday I got home from work and my sweetie grabbed the car keys from me and went to his chiropractor and massage appointment. I started to tidy up the kitchen and then decided that it was so nice out that I would walk over to the chiropractors office and surprise him. It was a lovely walk - only about 15 minutes but that to me is better than nothing. The look of surprise and happiness on his face when he saw me waiting for him was WAYYY COOOLLLL.

We are heading out for dinner with his uncle from Australia tomorrow and for the first time ever I am not obsessing about what I am going to order - I will eat what I feel like eating. I will go armed with the calorie counts and that will help me make choices but the bottom line is I will eat what I want - just not be foolish.

Feeling really good about my eating right now - I should fire up my calorie counter but I know I am doing well. The other day I decided to measure out my cereal because I felt like I was pouring out extra each morning. I was amazed to measure out the cup and find out it was pretty much exactly what I was pouring on my own. I guess that is part of my success with the tiny losses. Once we get through this heat wave I will be able to get moving even more. Neither of us have felt like going out and it doesn’t cool off until after 9pm and by then we are just too tired.

Got my engagement book from Shutterfly yesterday - I was pleased how it looked online and the real thing is even better. My son was so impressed - I can hardly wait to start working on his book for Christmas. I am going to compile all the pictures of him and his dad (some with the three of us LOL). It should be a nice keepsake for him. I have also asked my mom to get all her old favourite family photos (really old ones) and I will scan them and write down what they mean to us. Cool projects - sort of like scrapbooking but no glue - YAY!!!

Ok how cool is this - I forgot that I wanted to make August 5th my day one (yet again LOL) and guess what it was!!!! I got up yesterday and packed up my lunch and made a concerted effort all day to eat right. Didn’t move too much at work which is unusual but we did get out for our evening walk. It was still warm and uncomfortable at 8 but we did it. We are going to do our best to set aside an hour in the evening to either do something on the Wii or get out and walk when the weather is nice.

Yesterday was the first day of my sweetie’s new job. He walked to work in the morning and I was able to pick him up - -its reversed now. For now the shift he is on I can drop him off but he has to walk home. We are doing our best to make up for not car-pooling. We may not be car-pooling to perfection but we are saving almost 4000 miles a year on the car with his new job. Also with the added extra time at home we will use that time to our health benefit. Funny I would get home at 5 before and graze until dinner time. Yesterday we got home at 4 and I ate my normal 3 o’clock snack and had dinner an hour earlier so this should save me quite a few calories in the day.

I was watching Dr Phil yesterday about fat abusers (miserable spouses). One fellow was 305 pounds and ate a horrid absolutely horrid diet. It was pointed out to him that all he had to quit in his day was the Mountain Dew and ice cream and he would drop close to 100 pounds. Its stuff like that that pisses me off to no end. I stop almost all my crap in my daily diet - work out like crazy and end up dropping nothing in a year. I HATE that math - this guy can still eat his cheesy fries (according to his calorie intake) but only had to stop one treat and lose weight - ARGHHHHH Ok enough of that rant. I must keep going the way I am going my goal to lose the 10 pounds before the wedding is slipping away on me but I won’t put 10 pounds on - I refuse!!!