Its not the jeans that make me look fat — its the FAT!!!

So I did it I stepped on my Wii for the first time in two weeks on Saturday morning. I guess behaving myself brought a bit of success. I lost about .5 pounds. One of those YIPPEEE moments and I can only imagine how good it would have been had I truely stuck to plan. I kept to it rather well over the rest of the weekend. Besides it was just too stinking hot to want to eat - drank lots of water. But certainly no desire to get up and exercise on Sunday. As it was I got up and made some mac and cheese for my mom - so I was up at 7am boiling mac and baking it in the oven. She was thrilled that I learned to make it the way she likes it - not too hard make a decent cheese sauce and lots of cheese on top.

Another wicked week ahead and then next week off. So far we have changed our plans three times (we are not usually that indecisive). We were going to go to the Island (Vancouver Island - gorgeous) but that was proving to be way too expensive. So we decided to head to Washington State - not do too much but just get away for a couple of nights. Last week I got a message from one of my travel sites — they post their top 20 travel deals every week. Low and behold one of the most beautiful hotels on the island was on sale for 50% off - saving us almost $300. So we cancelled Washington and booked the island again. This should be it - we only have another week before we leave. I know my sweetie is happier with going to the Island - more to do and we will be going out Orca watching one day. That will complete our whale trifecta for the last 13 months. Grey whales last June in Oregon, Humpbacks in Maui in January and now if all goes well he will see Orca’s for the first time in the wild. Its a sight to see - something I put on my life list almost 10 years ago. I was able to cross it off my list that same year. We were on a trip to the island and booked a day on a boat. It was FABULOUS!!! Intelligent beautiful creatures and I swear they put on a show for all the boats - led us on a merry chase away from where they like to hang out. Really and truly after about an hour of leading all the boat from their area - they all turned in unison and headed back. It was breathtaking. So keep your fingers crossed for us that my sweet darling gets to experience the same thrill that I did 10 years ago.

Hoping to haul my size 16 butt back her once and for all. Haven’t been able to find time to Wii - eat right or do anything but work (poorly) and take care of my mom (rather well if I say so myself). Brought her home from the hospital on Thurs - spent the night there. Got her a great breakfast on Friday. I went home to my place to shower — went back to her place and back to the hospital we went. One of her IV’s went bad and we have to be sooooo careful about infections. Even the doctors in the ER stepped up the concern when they realized she was not only a recovering Chemo patient but she has no spleen (all her defenses are turned off). Turns out there was no infection but I would rather err on the side of caution. At one point I was sitting on a stool in the examing room and I had put my feet on mom’s walker. I had to lean forward to show the doctors where the reddness had been on her arm - I got all tangled up in the walker and ended up having to stumble out of the damn thing and kick my shoes off to disentangle myself. I said the to the doctors — “the sad thing is I am the caregiver” - they didn’t get the humour but after they left my mom broke into a huge fit of laughter.
Quite honestly I couldn’t have planned my klutziness any better if I tried - she had a good laugh and we all know laughter is fabulous medicine - she gets a great giggle each time she tells someone the story

Not sure if I will be back on complete track this week - doing my best but what with still going over and doing her dinners (not going to let her go downhill again) my time will be precious. Oh but the best thing is I got my orthotics so hopefully I will be able to get back to my precious classes here at work.

So was going to take one day “off” sort of. We had a family dinner - buffet style but still able to make decent choices. My future mother-in-law is the type to shove food at you and I am constantly fighting with her about it. All the women in my sweeties family are maybe size 8 at the most (his sister is a 5′10″ size 0). We decided to get more exercise in by parking 2 miles away from the club and walking to dinner and back. It was a glorious afternoon and evening and it was a lovely lovely walk - -follows the beach all the way only interupted by the gorgeous multi million dollar homes - I love looking at the homes and the landscaping etc etc.

When we got back to the car I checked my phone and sure enough of all the days my mom decided that was the night she wanted to go to the hospital (I have been asking her every day if I could take her to get checked out). I called her house and my brother answered - they were just loading her in the ambulance when I called (about 8pm) - we drove straight there and waited until the doctor saw her and said they would be keeping her over night at the very least. I stayed with her until after midnight and was back at 8am. Thank goodness I live 2 minutes from the hospital so I booked the day off work and spent the rest of the day going back and forth — getting her stuff she needs and ensuring she is comfortable.

This morning we got in the car to go to work and I realized I hadn’t brought my little PDA calorie counter. It dismayed me to realize I hadn’t input anything since Saturday night - I know I made decent choices yesterday and as my sweetie said - just take some time today write it all down - input it tonight and move forward again. I just hate that I got to 17 days of doing everything right and then have to start again. I was only going to use Sunday as a cheat day - yesterday was definitely not a cheat day but until I am where I am to be completely confident with my eating and exercise I am going to depend on my PDA and my darling Wii to keep track of me.

Zee — yes it means a lot to have my mom and G get along.  My mom adored absolutely adored my late husband so poor G had that strike against him from the start and my LH was very charismatic - G is just my darling sweet quiet G - funniest thing is  he is so much like my father - but mom can’t see it.  Oh well.  Families whatchagonnado?

Calories for 06/12 1702 not such a bad day. Although one of our instructors just came back from Hawaii and brought in a box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts — the other assistant put them on my desk and I threw them back on her desk. Right now they are sitting on the far side of the office but not calling my name or if they are I am ignoring. Right now even with all that is going on with my mom a few stresses at work I am still in a really great mindset. I am happy about myself — my eating, my exercise and this feeling is way more important than any chocolate covered macadamia nuts. Last night we BBQ’s some beef short ribs - I have always been guessing what my quantity is and last night I decided to weigh the meat before and then weigh the bones and fat cut off after I ate. Interesting I started at 6.2 oz and the weight of the left overs was 2.1 oz - so its all good. I love making the right choices. I love working out and hopefully by the end of next week I will get my orthotic and I can start to return to my classes. A few times yesterday when we were working on the Wii Fit my foot acted up and its very uncomfortable - but I pushed through it - the exercise was fun. I worked beside my instructor - she showed me better warm up techniques and we even had fun doing the same thing — but only one of us at a time using the board. It was hilarious as we traded off the board kept saying “your weight has changed - want to continue?” - Yes!!!!

Zee you are soooo correct — that is mostly why I avoid those places but what’s a girl gonna do when mom asks for something special.

Calories for 06/11 1550 yep you read that right. But only because I was busy in the morning doing the Wii Fit demo at the gym. Very interesting information I learned - I was doing things pretty much ok but my warm up left a bit to be desired. The Wii Fit tells us to warm up — but as untrained fitness people warming up means having an extra tea or coffee — doesn’t it??? So I wasn’t hungry when we left work - had to get over to mom’s and take her to the chiropractor. Now here is where the powers that be can be “powerful”. My mom and my sweetie tolerate each other so I have been basically doing this on my own. Last night we had to drop our car off for service and they gave us a loaner. Now we own a mid sized SUV and a small car. When I took mom to the chiro last week the SUV was difficult for her to climb into — but the car was even worse because it was lower to the ground. As life and luck goes we got the Goldilocks car as a loaner yesterday — it was JUST RIGHT!!! LOL. So I told my sweetie that I will take that one to pick up mom. While we were getting ready to head over he offered to come with me - I hestitated because I wanted to spare him her tirades but my brain was to tired and he is a trained physio. Soon after I accepted his offer I realized he was the only one registered to drive the Goldilocks car. MOM was in love with the new car - wanted to buy one for both me and my brother, she and my sweetie just left me in the dust and he treated her like one of his patients not his future mother in law (his nickname at the hospital is the physioterrorist). So all is good there. We stopped and picked up a take out salad and thats why my calories for the day were so good. LOL long story no attempt to make it short.

Calories for 06/10 1935 another good day at work but I had another “mom night”. How to do this without really sounding like an awful child but I have just about run out of the end of my rope here. I know this is nothing like what she is going through but she fought me through this whole treatment about getting some in home help. When she was feeling well she didn’t want to think ahead that she would be bad again and when she was bad she didn’t want to deal with it. So frikken frustrating. Last night as I have done almost every night for the last three weeks I drove home and immediately turned around and got her dinner. She had been on the phone with me before I left work and ranting on again that she should have received some help - for the fifteenth time I told her she refused to allow me to get her any outside help. I just fumed all the way home - she must have sensed it because she was an absolute delight when I got there. I served her dinner - cleaned up the kitchen and then we sat and yakked for about an hour. She is alone and I know she has lots of phone calls but its not the same as human contact.

Anyway - I am going to blame her for my calories for being up and over. Because of the rushing around etc etc I did my best to make good choices but I was starved so I picked up a biscuit while I was buying her dinner - I wouldn’t have made it to 7 (when I finally get home) if I didn’t have something to eat. So that added about 250 calories to my day. Didn’t get much of a workout in — but at least with the Wii I can do the fitness test and that only takes about 10 - 15 minutes. I maybe don’t break a sweat but I do get out of breath - so any exercise is better than none.

Phyl - we always have worse body perceptions of ourselves. I feel like a moose most of the time - but then every once in a rare while it all comes together.  Sure I am a big BIG girl - always will be but I will be thrilled to be a size 12 again some day.  Making the right food choices (now) are coming easy.  You will get back to it  -its hard when you are away.  Now i have to find you again - your blog is locked somehow and I can’t follow you from here - but I will track you down.  I need to spend more time to figure stuff out.

Calories for 06/09 1755 What a long busy stressful day - dealing with work (I have promised not to complain anymore about what I can’t control), my mom - geesh, my own physical problems and during it all I ate well - enjoyed what I ate, made sure I accounted for what I ate and made time for my workout. Just did 25 minutes but it was a good 25 minutes and it was much better than no minutes. Oh and I am in mourning that Brian got sent home on the Bachelorette (first time I have ever watched any of these series - and I get attached LOL). One of the guys at work is retiring and he brought in his homemade fudge - I am positive its just sugar with melted butter - I had two tiny pieces because he insisted and watched while I ate it - what a headache I had almost immediately!!! But its all part of the 1755 calories I had during the day.

I know I need to mix my calories up and soon — my body is going to get used to this amount and I need to bring it down one day - Sunday is going to be a high calorie day. We are going to the tennis club for numerous family birthdays and Father’s day (neither of us will have a father there). I am hoping the weather will cooperate and we will be able to park our car the few kilometers away near the beach and do the lovely walk through the most gorgeous neighbourhood. I have done this alone a few times and love it, but this time we are going to hope to do it together and then walk back after dinner.

Calories for 06/07 1624 06/08 1722 I love when I can eat really well — enjoy what I do eat and still keep it under 1800. I didn’t deny myself much of anything — just made great choices all day. I am completely proficient now at reading labels and I will measure if I am not confident about how much is my correct serving. This has taken a long time and a lot of practice but I think I have this down pat. I look back on the last two weeks, at home life is good but its been extremely stressful with my mom - extremely She seems to be on the mend but it was a really rough two weeks for her and I was the only person she could really take things out on - oh well gotta love birth order and my only other sibling (younger brother) won’t stand for any crap - -LOL I have lived with those two strong Virgos for years and its good in many ways but rough on us “gentle” Libras in other ways. Just last week I hit the wall after going 14 hours straight and I thought I was going to cause my mom to fall - -all I could do was apologize and she got angry and told me to quit saying I was sorry - what else do you say when you really and truly are sorry, worried and upset?? Anyways lets hope most of that is behind us now.

Where was I going with that tirade - Oh I know!! What with the stress of mom, stress with work (azzholes!!!) and something else with one of our cars and not once did I turn to anything for comfort. I had no desire to get myself face down in chocolate cake, or ice cream or nachos or any of my past favourites. My treat of choice is the Starbucks Frappacino - which weighs in with a whopping 180 calories — YAY!!! Finding time to work out even at the minimum of 10 minutes a day helps too. I realize now I am almost 53. I have three chronic conditions, one (very personal )is sort of under control, one (the stenosis) I have to live with and do my best to not aggravate it and my latest ailment is neuroma - I got my cast done for orthotics but geesh I know none of this is life threatening but its certainly becoming weary. Oh well trudge on.

Calories for 06/06 1872 not a stellar day but not horrid either. Worked up in the lab for close to 2 hours. Never stopped moving - got everything out of the way and then the contractor came by and said there was no reason to move things. Of course typical contractor they just don’t get the importance of keeping sensitive electronic equipment safe from any dust. I told him better safe than sorry and he better tarp up the unaffected areas of the lab to keep everything safe and dust free. Man its hard to soar with eagles when you are surrounded by turkeys —
Came home from work and went directly over to my mom’s - -she was just the tiniest bit better and we were able to joke a bit. I got some stuff straightened out. I think living in chaos is driving her crazy but she is just too weak to pick up after herself and puting stuff in the dishwasher is too much so emptying it is just out of the question. My sweetie had dinner just about ready when I got home but I still craved something sweet late in the evening so I indulged in a couple of cookies — wasn’t too horrible but I won’t make a habit of it.
Of course this morning I do my weekly body test with my Wii Fit — can you even begin to imagine my surprise and delight when my weight came in 6 pounds less — SIX POUNDS GONE!!!! At first I didn’t trust the electronics - but my darling assured me he is watching his weight at work and its just about the same - -lets face it every scale is different (pain in the butt!!!) He lost 1.5 proud of him too - he has about 5 to go (lets not even discuss that LMAO)

Zee — yes in many ways we are cut from the same cloth - -actually when I read many of your posts it reminds me of the passion my darling fiance feels for many things - and I agree 100%

Calories for 06/06 1797 LOL Phew finally just squeaked under 1800. No more Starbuck’s mochas until next week - that extra 170 is pushing me up and over every day - not great but I will admit we are running around more these days at work than normal. Found out late yesterday that I have to empty 3 benches of electronic equipment today. I could ask for help but for my own personal reasons I will suck it up and do it myself. Its all about people that never pull their own weight and those that do too much up and over. I have two people to ask to help in that particular lab - one is LAZY LAZY LAZY and the other will be there in two seconds to help. I would rather do it myself than have the one slacker know (yet again) he can ignore my request and the other will be there. I will just count the physical as part of my day and grumble to myself - -how many calories do you burn grumbling???

Still doing well with the eating - back in my groove and yesterday was officially 9 days of good. Today I will finish up and head into double digits for the weekend. When I am in this head space I usually do better on the weekends and I will be doing my WiiFit body test tomorrow morning - so we will see if there is any weight difference this week - don’t care if there isn’t (what a liar LOL) but just feeling good about this is very rewarding!!!