Its not the jeans that make me look fat — its the FAT!!!

Ok so here I am after a few days off of work (four to be exact).  I worked hard to not get stupid about my calorie intake but at the end of the four days I didn’t record one calorie — sigh.  Not sure if I was allowing myself some “fun” because I am off to bootcamp tonight or not.  On Thursday I was home all day and I was incredibly good about calorie intake.  I refused to allow myself to indulge in anything — the fact there was very little food in the house also helps.  But years ago I would have boiled up a huge pot of pasta and eaten it with tons of butter and ketchup ( I know yuck!!).  Friday we spent the day running around and we went for lunch - I made a decent choice (cup of turkey noodle soup and turkey wrap) I am sure there was too much mayo on the wrap — but it was good.  I honestly can’t remember dinner.  Saturday we were up and out early to help family members move.  My mother-in-law invited us for lunch — she makes the most fabulous carrot cake — so I had a small ham and cheese bunwich and a piece of the cake (ok a piece and a half). 

 I sort of grazed the rest of Saturday and Sunday on my 100 calorie snack packs — too many but certainly not a ton.  One thing I did do when I went shopping was buy wholegrain brown rice for me.  I plan to eat a piece of chicken and some rice on the nights before I go to boot camp.  I am positive that going to these camps is going to decrease my food intake — I try not to eat after 7 and I will be home just before 8 — so I have to eat my dinner at 5:30 — so no afternoon snacks.  If I can get used to that then maybe I might just break through this plateau

Wishing myself luck!!!

Calories for 04/25 1762 they would have been a bit lower but we went to a meeting yesterday afternoon. I was just feeling the start of hunger (I thought) so there were fabulous multi-grain crackers and thin slices of cheese. I took about 6 crackers and 4 slices of cheese — my guess was the calorie count was 300 (past experience LOL). Unfortunately it wasn’t hunger I was feeling but a horrible horrible gas attack. I chewed on some Pepto-Bismol but it didn’t help — driving home was pure agony. I came home tore all my clothes off — put on my favourite house dress and had a cup of tea then laid down. Soon enough I was feeling better but all I felt like for dinner was a bowl of noodles.

Need to be better for tonight I go for my assessment before Bootcamp — I do NOT want to know what I weigh. Strange enough ever since my rant last week I have been having tummy troubles and not sure if I am bringing on my own agonies — once again I was happy before I weighed myself - and the damn scale just tore me down. I know I need the numbers at sometime - but I prefer the numbers on the inside of my jeans - right now my size 16’s fit loose and soon very very soon that size will be a 14 — this I promise myself.

Ok almost one year ago I started this journey to better health.  I had had enough of not wearing any of my clothes - I refused to buy a larger size so I dug in started counting calories, started going to the gym regularly and within a few months dropped 35 pounds.  Now since Christmas I have been floundering around gaining 5 pounds losing 4 pounds gaining 2 pounds etc etc.  So ENOUGH — I am going to fitness bootcamp starting Monday.  I need the mental and physical boost to get going again.  My goal really and truly is to lose 30 pounds before the end of the year - and my last 30 sometime in 2008.  Fairly realistic and so far from my past weight loss stories - in my 26 years of “dieting” I have gained and lost close to 200 pounds — and ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!