Losin it in Paradise

A good jolt on why it is important to lose weight

Tonight at work we get a EMS call out for a code blue.  We are informed via the radio that the patient is a male in his early 60s and weighs in excess of 750 pounds.  The local fire department will be on hand to assist getting him to the hospital.

He arrives wrapped in a heavy duty fire department tarp laying on the floor of the ambulance because he will not fit on a stretcher.  CPR in progress.  With the help of 9 fire men we manage to move him to the “big boy” bed and continue with CPR.  We manage to revive him, intubate him and stablize him enough to transfer to our ICU.  Normally someone this sick is transfered to Oahu were we have specialists.  But he is too big for our air ambulance and too sick for the coast quard, so we must keep him.  He is also too big for our CT scanner.

I had to call the fire department back when it was time to move him to ICU as we were unable to push the bed.  Again our local boys came to the rescue…above and beyond….and helped us transfer him to the unit.

We needed four men to hold his pannas back (belly) using a sheet so that we could try and find his penis to put a catheter in him.  We did not find it but our urologist was able to put in a subra public line.  The smell was horrid.  His panna alone is the size of a grown man…..did I mention the smell?

This man is going to die….he will die tonight.  He has a son and family in the ICU waiting room crying and grieving.  They love him dearly, he will not live to see his grand child grow up or his youngest son marry…he will die tonight.  They want him cremated, we cannot..he is too big for our crematorium…

He will die tonight, and a family has lost a father and a grand father….

Because he weighs 750 pounds…excuse me while I go and throw away my stash of potato chips and text my son to tell him I love him…

Husband for sale….real cheap!

Okay, first lets get to the nitty gritty….I gained two pounds over my weekend away.  Not as bad as I thought it would be and today when I stepped on the scale it was gone.  I think I ran it away.

Diet wise I have been doing good since getting back.  Running has been great and so far so good, even with the achille’s tendon acting up, I am still running 1.5 miles at a time…yay me :)

Now the husband part….AND I AM SO MAD I AM SPITTING NAILS AS WE SPEAK.

He was coming home from Oahu yesterday, and as usual left everything to the last minute and was running late. He stopped at the ATM to grab some cash out of my account before getting on the plane..why he need cash to fly 20 minutes I still don’t know…..but being the fucking airhead that he can be, he took his cash, did not close out the account and left his bank card in the machine.  Well…you got it…not even one minute after he left some nice person took 500 dollars out of my account.  Yup, 500 fucking dollars..gone.

He has access to my account in case he runs out of money.  He cannot write checks, but I gave him a bank card…needless to say he doesn’t get another.  This is the second time he did this, but fortunately it is the first time anyone has stolen anything from me.  And it is a good thing, I have a cap on the amount he can take or they may have cleaned me out and I just got paid today…

Yes, he feels bad and yes, he feels like a dumb ass….so I was all prepared to just let it go….suck it up..shit happens.. and then this morning he says to me, “we can just use the 500 as my valentine’s gift, so you don’t have to get my anything.”  I just stared at him and then said….you are not worth 500 dollars!    Needless to say things are not too cool at our house right now.  500 dollars is a lot of money and I dont’ have that kind of money to just throw away.

I filed a police report, I wasn’t going to cause they will never catch them, but the bank said to do so, I did.  The police told me it is a felony bank fraud, and they are going to check the videos etc at the airport, and we have to also report it to the airport police.  I guess it is a bigger deal than I thought..I didn’t think they would give a darn about 500 bucks, but they do….

I am still trying to not be mad at him cause I know how bad he feels but I also get the feeling that he feels, OH well Shannon can just earn more….

fuck

Recovery

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”…Winston Churchill

Ok, I had three days of complete and total excess…too much food, too much walking, too much shopping (as if) and too much….well lets just say too much….blush!

I had the best time away with DH in Oahu.  We talked, and walked and shopped.  We went to the Pro Ball block party, we went to the show..also saw Underworld 111 annie, and I loved it :)   Course I love anything to do with vampires and werewolves, so the lycans are right up my alley…..but my gawd the vampires were wimpy…never be scared of them again. :)

I am afraid to even step on the scale.  I was hoping all the walking I did would counter act the over indulgence of the food, but from the feel of my waist band…NOT

Lets just suffice to say, i did not live on salad or sugar free butterscotch puddings this weekend.

So today, no matter how hard it was, I jumped right back into my sensible eating plan….no more ribs and baked potatoes, no more steak and grilled shrimp in butter, no more chocolate caramels…..NO MORE…

And I must also get this butt moving on my runs again as well.  I haven’t run since Friday and I am feeling like a mushy blob.  Still suffering a bit with my achille’s tendon being really sore.  I am wearing a brace on it and that helps a bit.  I also found when I ran, it got better, so will see how it feels after my run tomorrow.

New schedule out and I am so sorry, but my boss is the worst damn schedule maker there is…she has me going 9 days in a row.   She has me teaching ACLS for two day shifts, then a 8 hour evening shift, three twelves, then a 16 hour shift, then two more 8s…..WTF  She is crazy, I am going to have a chat with her tomorrow cause that is ridiculous.  I am too fuckin old for this shit all the time.  I decided it was time for me to cut back a little and not do all these crazy hours and then she comes up with that damn schedule.  I am livid…..  grrrrrr  snarl

Almost, not quite, but almost put me in a bad mood, but after my nice weekend away, I am refusing to allow anything to fuck me up right now….

So hopefully Weds weigh will not be too horrid.  I have not gotten on my Wii Fit since I got back, so will do so tomorrow.  Hope my trainer is not too mean.  Tomorrow is my one precious day off now until February 23rd, so I had better enjoy it…WTF

Keep the fingers crossed for my weigh in…

Ciao….

9.6 pounds down

That was my weight on Saturday.  So I should reach my first goal of 10 pounds by Weds.  I dunno for sure thou as I had some serious arm wrestling with a bag of M & Ms last night and I lost…

I realize I have a pretty bad sweet tooth, and there is not way in hell I am going to be able to keep it under control forever, so I do have to endulge once in a while, but the key is to not let it control me or get out of control…

I also immediatly went to the store after work and got some sugar/fat free butterscotch pudding like Ella suggested and I am hoping I can ward off my sweet attacks with a nice helping of pudding with a small dab of whipped cream…

Tonight I had my “spagetti” supper again and it was just as delicious as the other day.  I think I am on to something here.  I added some hot sauce this time to give it a little zing.

I also found some good Progresso soups at the store that are 40% less sodium.  They are a bit higher in calories than the light soups but so worth it to not have my daily total of salt in one bowl of soup.  And I don’t think 120 calories for a meal of soup is a bad thing, even room for some Laughing Cow cheese and some stone wheat crackers to go with it.

I also am finding my addiction to soybeans is far from over, I am finding more and more ways to prepare them and I am lovin it.  I still prefer them boiled, cooled and sprinkled with a tad of butter and garlic powder, but they are dynamite with Kim Chee sauce too!

I was able to trade on of my shift and give one away so after tonight I am offically off for 5 whole days….thats right FIVE DAYS.    And I am getting ready to go away for the weekend with DH to Oahu and that means I will not be wasted and tired, so will be able to function….yay

Well I think it is time for some soybeans…

ciao!

Hell yeah!

Well I am down 8 and hoping for 10 on my next weigh in….but the very best thing is that I am running again.  I managed four runs this week and no injuries :)   I have been doing some research on running.com and I have been pushing it and not listening to my body hence the injuries every time I run…so now I am going for endurance and distance rather than speed.  I cut my speed down 1 mph and increased my overall running time and I feel great.  No injuries and I can run longer without feeling like my lungs are coming out of my chest.  I am only running a mile a day but that is good and my goal is three miles so I am 1/3 of the way there and will be there within 6 weeks…

Diet wise I am doing great as well…..in fact now that I have really decreased the meat in my diet I am finding it hard to get 1200 calories in a day.  The other day I was off work so decided to cook for myself…now I hate to cook and find it easier to make a quick salad and have a boca burger or soup, but this night I wanted something different.  So off the store I go and picked up some zuccini, fresh mushrooms, fresh asparagus and spagetti squash and a small jar of Ragu spagetti sauce.  I came home and slice up a 1/4 cup of each (not the squash) and lightly saute it in Pam until done but not over done, and then I added 1/2 cup spagetti sauce and simmered.  Then I steamed the spagetti squash and after done, shredded 1 cup onto a place and poured my sauce over it…a total 100% meat free spagetti dinner.  And it was so damn delicious I could not believe it, and filling and totally satisfying.   After I was done I went on myfooddiary.com to record my meal and darn near dropped dead when it came back and registered a total of 87 calories for the entire meal.  I entered it twice to make sure and sure enough 87 calories……I had to add a yogurt and blueberries for dessert to my meal and still could not get up to 1200 for the day.  But it was wonderful and easy and something I am definitely going to make again.

I am going to spend next weekend in Oahu with my DH and I know that I will face challenges then.  Challenges like:  Outback, Red Lobster, Chili’s, Ruby Tuesdays and of course Papa Johns…even Wendys will be there to threaten me.   We have no brand name or big name resturants in Kauai except for McDonalds so just the thought of sitting down in Ruby Tuesdays makes my mouth water….  So I will really be facing a big deal.  I have already told myself that chances are that I will indulge, and that I will forgive myself and get right back at it and not look at it as a failure or a reason to throw it all away.  I am going to do my very best to not get too carried away and am going to stay 100% away from sugar, but my meat resolve will probably weaken for the weekend.

I am really looking forward to getting away.  I love Kauai but really have island fever right now and need to just get away.  Spend some time on another island which is 100% different than Kauai, almost like a totally different country.  Do some lounging at the pool, maybe a couple hours at a spa, and just some R&R at a 5* hotel…..awwwww…..

On that note, it is time to do a round and check on the chicklets….ciao!

Just a quickie

Just dropping in to say hi….”HI” :)

Nothing much new since last night.  Doing a double shift tonight and of course the place is hopping.  That is okay, I am off for two after this….gonna get the nails done tomorrow after work..and a pedi as well.

Still holding strong on the eating and exercise.  My rings are feeling loose, so that always makes me feel good.  And today when I dressed I noticed my scrubs were looser…yay me :)

Slowly getting there….2009 is going to be the year! 

Aloha

Well I finally am feeling better, and also had three nice days off.  I slept for most of Friday, but then had Sat & Sun to have some R&R and some fun with DH.

And the best part????   I did not totally blow my new eating plan even thou I had a wkend off and we went out to eat a couple times.  Usually weekends off with my DH are disasters for me, but not this weekend….yay!    I did have a small piece of pizza on Friday night because I was lazy and tired and did not want to cook or even throw a salad together.  It is the first fatty high calorie food I have had in a long time, and it also had meat on it and I have been really anti meat the past two weeks.   About two hours later, I truly regreted eating that pizza.  I thought I was dying from a heart attack.  OMG, I had such chest pain and thankfully I knew it was from the pizza and the fact that I cannot blech since my surgery so I knew I had a raging case of heartburn and indigestion.  But oh how it hurt.   No more fatty junk for this chickie.

And today I weighed in and I am offically 199 pounds, down 8 pounds….yay!   And when I did my Wii fit today, my trainer was very proud of my weight loss and so to please her I did an extra 15 minutes of aerobics.   And then I ran for 20 minutes before coming to work tonight, so got some decent exercise in today.  Tomorrow I am working a double shift, so no Wii and no run, so thought I would have a good day today.   I am off again on Weds and Thursday which is nice and then back to work a three day weekends.

I am flying to Oahu on the 6th to spend the weekend with DH.  We are renting a nice room in a 5* hotel and going to just have some quality time away with each other.  Going to take in some nice resturants and sights and just enjoy being off this island for awhile.  I confess to having a bad case of island fever right now.   Sometimes even paradise can seems confining after a while.

Nothing else new to report…so ciao for now :)

Still hanging in..

I am on my four shift in a row, this is a short one, only 8 hours, but then I have to teach CPR in the am when I get off for 6 hours….so really not a short one.  Then I teach ACLS on Weds for 12 hours, and then work again Thursday night, but then…….(drum roll) I am off for three days.   For some reason I really drew a short straw with this schedule.  Our boss wasn’t paying attention and schedule me for 7 hectic shifts in a row, 74 hours straight….damn!   When she saw what she had done, and no way to correct it due to her also allowing vacations for some, she said, “what idiot made this schedule?”  To which I answered….guess :)    so she apologized and said at least it was with me cause she can always count on me…awwww  Fuck!

Anyway it would not be so bad if we weren’t so damn busy.  ER smashing, waiting room full, hospital full, OR going full tilt….don’t know where I am going to put more sick people.  And the worst?  it is that half or more of the people that come to the ER …shouldn’t!   It is mickey mouse things that are not emergencies…..please, you have a cold and that warrants an ER visit?  Ties up a nurse, and a the doctor to listen to you sniffle and whine while some really sick person is waiting in the waiting room for your bed.   Stay home, take some tylenol and fluids and rest….WTF

We even had some idiot take an ambulance in because he hurt his finger…yup, you heard me…his finger….now if he would have cut his arm off I would have cared, but he cut his finger opening a can of spam……..HOW FUCKING STUPID IS THAT????

And to top it all off, I feel like shit.  I am probably sicker than half the people I have had to treat tonight.  I have a raging sore throat, headache, fever and body aches…yup, I feel like hell…

On a lighter note!  I am doing okay with my eating choices.  I am really watching the salt, and have so far this weekend passed chocolate cake, M & Ms, a chocolate, banana whipped cream pie, and Filipino food….Yah for me.  I so love Filipino food, but OMG it is fattening.  MY mouth was watering so bad, but I popped a stick of sugar free gum and went back to working my butt off.    And the best part was when I did my weigh today, I am down 5 pounds!  good for me.  Now I am aware that most of that is water as my puffy hands and feet are looking really good, but hell it is still 5 pounds that I don’t have to pack around.  So hell yah, I will take it.

I am doing Anngirl’s trick.  Salad dressing on the side, soups and lots of salad, and of course my precious soybeans….which is an addiction, but a good addiction :)

I hardly saw DH this weekend at all, just in passing as I was leaving for work.  I felt bad as I was pretty miserable to him last weekend when he was home.  Just feeling bitchy and out of sorts, and of course took it out on him.  I guess it was just a warning that I was coming down with some junk.  Oh well I am off this weekend and will make it up to him.

Well again with the pager, off I go as I am needed……ciao!

One step forward, two steps back…

I have some good days and then some bad days.  I just wish I understand or knew what causes the bad days.

I will be so good, sticking to my sensible eating and exercise and then for some reason…all reason disappears, and I start stuffing my face.  

I am probably now heavier than I have ever been, tipping the scales at a flabby and ugly 207.  Now some of that is water weight….how do I know that??  Well I just spent an hour with my doctor and he is worried about the swelling of my hands and ankles.  He feels I am having problems with fluid retention….sure I am…I am also addicted to fucking salt.  I never knew I was consuming that much salt, but now I am reading labels like crazy.  I use myfooddiary.com and boy have I been using the salt according the my diary.  Things that I didn’t even realize had salt in them, like my “harmless” chicken dogs that are suppose to be so much better than beef or pork…NOT….pure fricken salt!

He is also worried a bit about this damn rash I have on my chest and back that has been there for about 6 months, add that with sore and swollen hands, so he is making me do a fasting blood sugar exam in the morning to rule out rheumatoid arthritis or some other autoimmune disease.

I don’t really feel I have either, I am just fat, and unhealthy.

So tonight I am at work and not eating a fucking thing, just water for my blood work in the am.  And you know what???  I am doing it without any problems, so why do I usually have to stuff myself?

My appetite is just out of control.  I have noticed that I don’t even wait to eat until I am hungry.  I just stuff away, and keep stuffing way after I am “full”

Someone please buy me a bullet………

I met my hero!

How exciting is that?  Wow!

For a couple years now on my way home from work in the am I meet a gentleman out running.  And I mean he runs!   I see him on different parts of the highway depending on what time of morning it is, and I admire him so much.   I watch him run and he seems so free and just glides.

I started waving at him and giving him some shaka whenever I would see him.  He started waving back and now it is a morning ritual for us to greet each other with shaka and big grins….

I want to run like he does, like the wind, so free and graceful and easy.  As you know I am taking up running, but trust me when I tell you there is nothing graceful or easy about me.  I bounce and ripple, and my thighs thunder,  but oh I love it.   When I run I feel free…

So to get back to my story…..On Tuesday after I taught Heartcode, I stopped at Long’s Drugs to pick up some shampoo and stuff and as I was walking to the store day dreaming as usual, I heard a man say, “I know you.”  I looked up and there was my runner…………..WOW!

He said, “I see you every day smiling and waving at me and it just makes my day.”   I had a shit ass grin from ear to ear and told him that he was my hero and I wanted to be able to run just like him.  This is what he told me….he runs 20 miles everyday but Saturday and Sunday.  Saturday he runs 8 miles and Sunday he rests.   That is 108 miles a week he runs……….OMG, he is truly my hero :)

His name is Mazie and he told me to just keep at it and when I was ready to do my first 5k, he would run with me……….WOW!    

I met my hero, and he is flesh and blood and even thou he doesn’t wear a cape, he is definitely superman…..I met my hero :)    WOW