Losin it in Paradise

Still here…

Thanks to all for your good wishes, concern and most important, your loving hearts.  I am doing okay, saw my doctor and he put me on Wellbutrin 150mg a day.  After 10 days he upped to 300mg a day.  I cannot say I feel all the different right now, just calmer.  I dont’ feel so angry or agitated.  It will be a month to 6 weeks before I feel the full affect, so I must be patient althou that is definitely not one of my virtues :)

He also wants me to consider counselling, but I am a bit hesitant with that…not sure why…Well actually I am.  I want to please, I also don’t like to admit any weakness, so I have a tendency to tell what people want to here, so even if I wasn’t getting any help from counseling I would still tell them I was and I would not be entirely open with my life.  So what good would counselling do?

I have had a lot happen to me in the last ten years, and I have not really faced them or closed them.  I lost the love my life when I found out he was not the person I thought he was; I left with only the cloths on my back and have never looked back;  I lost my home and my business;  I moved 3000 miles away to another country where I knew no one; I married on a rebound and am not overly happy in my marriage; my niece was killed in a car accident; and my mom died.  Those are just some of the things that I have dealt with over the past couple years, and no sense rehashing them, nothing will change.

On a lighter note, my son was accepted to school and is going back to finish his chemical engineering.  My DIL loves her new job, and they both seem much more settled and peaceful.

My DH and I are going on a vacation.  Yes a honest to goodness vacation.  Off the island and together!!!   Wow, first vacation together in over 5 years.  We are going to Las Vegas. We married there seven years ago and always said we would go back in seven, so we are.  We leave on Weds and I am so excited.  Work has been hell so this is a vacation worth waiting for.

We got a suite at the Venetian for a great price and are going to bath in the lap of luxury for a change.  No work, no problems, nothing, just R&R for 8 days….sigh

My poor little cocker, Zachary, hurt his back again but I caught it this time before he became paralyzed.  Got him to the vet at the first signs of neuro deficeits and got him on steroids right away and he is doing better but still has to be on cage rest.  He hates that!

Nothing much else to report… hope all is well with everyone and I will let you know how Vegas was…

ciao 

6 Responses to “Still here…”

  1. Good to hear from you, chickie! Las Vegas sounds wonderful and I’d love to stay at the Venetian! We’ve caught the Blue Man Group there a couple of times. LOVE the Blue Men. Hope you get a chance to catch the show.

    I’m so sorry to hear about all the hardships you’ve encountered the last few years. Hope the therapy helps. I know what you mean about wanting to please. I was in therapy for a while about 15 years ago and I felt the same way but it actually helped quite a bit and I was strong enough to say, “I think you’ve done me a lot of good but I feel like I’m where I want to be and don’t want to continue.”

  2. Oh, darlin’, it’s about time you enjoyed life a little. Hope Vegas proves to be a fun getaway and that you really get a chance to relax and luxuriate - nobody deserves it more than you. Yeah, been there, done that too - the bit about the husband not being who you thought he was….I remarried after that rather rude awakening, too, and I’m not entirely sure I’d do it over again if I were to go back in time a bit. Things are okay, though, and “okay” sure beats awful, the way it was the first time around. You’ve had a rough bunch of years, honey. Time to turn that around. (I know what you mean about the counseling; I tend to keep to my own counsel, too).
    BIG hugs - so good to hear from you again,
    Z

  3. Have a wonderful time sweets - man have you been through a lot or what? You deserve to have the best time ever !

    My heart is with you
    xooxoxoxoxoxo

  4. Sweetie, go to a therapist. But before you do, print out this post of yours and take it with you to hand to the therapist. Ask the person to please read it, right then and there in front of you. You will have just given them SO MUCH of yourself, and they will know exactly what’s going on, and how best to get started helping you. Easy as that. :)

    Have a GREAT weekend! :)

  5. Miss S., you do deserve to have the best time ever. I am so glad for you that you are feeling a little better.
    Sorry that I haven’t been visiting here for awhile. I am catching up! It’s wonderful to read that your son is doing well, and your DIL too.
    Take Care
    xoxoxoxoxo RubyJean

  6. U back yet missy?!!!!
    xoxooxxoxoxooxxo

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