Losin it in Paradise

The big “D”

I feel it hitting..and I don’t like it.

I have been doing my best to avoid it, but I think it is time to say uncle and call my doctor.  I am so fookin depressed!

Damn, there I said it…why….who the hell know!

I just feel all the joy in my life is gone.  I even was sick last week and call in at work….I never do that.  I have not called in sick ever.  Yes, I had surgery but to just call and say I am not coming in today…never…..

I haven’t been running cause my knee is swollen and sore.  I am eating nothing but junk….as I sit here  with a big bag of Salt and Vinegar chips in front of my fat face…..and the worst part????   I DON’T FUCKIN CARE!

Yes I do, who am I kidding?  If I didn’t care, I would not give a shit that I am just a pile of lard with no will power, motivation or incentive to do anything.

Even my pending vacation in Vegas is only adding a very slight glow to my cheeks…..waaaawaaa

Yes, I need a vacation….damn, time to talk to the doctor about Wellbutrin…

It is the only med I will even consider.  No sexual side affects, and trust me I am not taking the darn testosterone and getting acne and shit just to screw it up with an antidepressant that fooks up the sex drive.  

I hate taking pills, but I have to get this under control before it spirals…

Ain’t life grand???

9 Responses to “The big “D””

  1. Hang in there babycakes – I’m trying the SAm-E stuff so I totally get your need to get out of the funk.

    Do what it takes babes before you get pulled under…

    Love you and I’m sorry that you’re having to go through this because you are such a loving person!

    Love you.

  2. Hugs…not that those really help. Somedays life just overwhelms, and in your profession it doesn’t surprises me. My best friend is a trauma nurse & I just do not know how she, or anyone in the profession of health does it.
    Take care of yourself as you feel you can. Talk to the doc, take time for yourself & know people care …even in the 1d world

    feel great soon.

  3. Maybe it’s the time of year? I feel the same way. I am taking Lexapro. It helps and I can’t imagine how I would be otherwise. It also helps me sleep. Sleeping was something I was not doing.
    I am sorry you are depressed. It makes me sad to see your beautiful face not smiling. You are loved.
    Vegas will make you smile. You can drink the whole time you are there!
    I am glad you called in sick. It’s okay to take care of you.


  4. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time, but glad to see that you are able to face the situation and seek help.

    I do believe that sometimes our brain chemistry just goes off kilter and needs some help to get back on track.

    Hope your doc finds a solution for you that doesnt create other problems.

    Big hugs – hang in there.


  5. Hey lady ! You’ll do what you have to. Sounds like a lot of us are treading water these days, just trying to keep our heads above water….it’s hard to be losing weight when you feel so crummy.
    Take care of yourself – and know that lot’s of people are thinking of you, pulling for you – including Moi!

  6. Oh shoot! I never saw this post of yours! Are you in Vegas? Oh, honey – treat yourself well. You give so much to others – sometimes you just have to indulge yourself a bit. I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so lousy; sure does seem like we all have our share of ups and downs around here, doesn’t it? I about climbed the freaking walls all winter long! Still can’t say I’m feeling peachy keen, exactly, but I’m a little better than I was feeling for a while, there. I wish I had something wise to say that would explain things and give you a reason to feel better, but I don’t. I care, though, and so do a lot of other folks.

  7. I see it’s been a while since this post. Hoping you’re in Vegas living it up and feeling good! Take care, chickie.


  8. You okay, honey?


  9. Love you to death Shannon!

    Happy Mother’s Day to you….

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