Losin it in Paradise

So I am semi back.  I am finally over the abdominal junk.  Pooping like a trooper or a bear in the woods take your choice. Have convinced the surgeon to leave me intact until I return from my visit to my son and family in Canada the 10th of October.  I have promised that I will not die before then and that if I do, I have put him in my will.  I am sure my DH will not mind

I have a bunch of nasty mouth, tongue and throat ulcers from all the antibiotics so living on ice cream and sugar free popsicles :)   I have discovered that grape is my favorite.

I went into work today and taught ACLS for six hours.  That is Advanced Cardiac Life Support for you lay people……..giggle giggle.  Always wanted to say that…   Anyway it is the first time in 30 years that I had to stop at Wal Mart and buy some maxi pads!!!  OMG, what happened to having just Kotex?   I had a hysterectomy when I was 27, have things changed since then.  I had no fookin idea what the hell to buy.  They have long ones and short one, thin ones and thick ones, scented and unscented (hmm, I don’t want to smell like a flower, last time I looked down there it was no damn flower) for heavy days and light days, and so many brands.  OMG, I was overwhelmed.   Now you are asking yourself, “Why does a 50 year old grandmother that had a hyster over 30 years ago go looking to buy maxi pads?”  WTF?

I have a bad cough right now from all the sores in my throat.  Get it?  Cough????  Some of you do :)    Bad cough, hacking cough….  pee!!!   nuff said?

“Blush”

Ok, we will go on.  The sleep saga.  I finally got DH to take the shutters off, aired out the room which took a long time.  There was months of fart fumes hanging around that room I will tell you.  And they hover for a long time.

Still could not sleep….mmmm.   Well we have our bed practically built on stilts, so maybe I am tired of needing a ladder to get into bed and then hardly being able to turn over without getting a bikini wax from the ceiling fan.  (a bit of dramatic flare there)So I have DH spend the weekend taking our kingsize bed off of the stilts and getting it back down to a normal people height.  mmm, now we are getting somewhere, I am not feeling quite as clastraphopic (sic).

Still cannot sleep..mmm.  Maybe it is the fact that we also share our bed with our two dogs and cat????  ya think?  So heartbreaking as it is, I decided that they cannot sleep with us anymore.  If would be okay if they curled up and sleep but Zachary, the cocker, has to share my pillow, he snores, he farts and every time I move he licks me :).   I love him :)  He has slept with me for 6 years .  Sadie the Lapsa has slept with me for 3 years and she likes to sleep between my legs………all the time!    So with tears in my eyes I drive like a demon to Costco which is 30 miles one way and buy two of the most expensive dog beds they have.  I get home and DH makes them a combined bed that will rival ours.  It is huge.  With pillows and blankets and teddy bears and it is in our room.  Hell it is such a great bed, I will sleep in it and the dogs can stay where they are.  We are depressed all day, dreading the night, babying the babes, they are going to be so traumatized.  How can we go thru with this?  I don’t need sleep?  So what if it is hot, and crowded and miserable and I feel awful?  I need my poor babies with me…..waaaahhh!  I am such a mean mommy.  They will hate me forever…   Then it arrived, the dreaded bedtime.   With broken hearts and fear we approached the bedroom, and showed the babes their new bed.   They then proceeded to jump in and fall asleep and never woke up all night and have slept in it every night since with out a whimper.  Stoopid dogs!

And I am sleeping better too!   Yippee!   So looks like everything but the diet is doing well. And that is for another day, don’t want to depress myself….I am going to have a grape popsicle :)  ciao

Posted on September 27th, 2007 by islandgrl
Filed under: General