Losin it in Paradise

Today was one of the days that I cried all the way home.  But it is also another day.  I learned an important lesson when my mom died last year.  I learned that the world does not stop because you grieve.  I remember after she died and I was flying back to Canada to be with my dad.  I looked around the plane and all the people were in their own worlds.  Visting and laughing and watching the movie, or sleeping, reading or just daydreaming.  And I remember thinking, look at me…..can you not see that I am sad?  Can you not see that I lost someone I loved dearly?  Why are you laughing and living?   Because life goes on, it does not stop for grief.  It only slows down for the ones grieving.

All day I am trying to get the picture of the tortured faces of the family of the 22 year old boy who died last night out of my mind.  You feel powerless when you cannot help  their pain, when you cannot shoulder their pain for them.  He was so brave, so strong for his mom.  But life goes on, tomorrow I will do it all over again.

 I also learned from my years of trauma nursing, that life is short and fragile.  And it could be over in a flash.  No one is immune.   Live for today, because there may be no tomorrow.  Don’t save for a rainy day, do it now, that rainy day may never come.  Take a vacation now, don’t wait until after you retire………how many have I seen that die the day they retire, or the very first day of their waited and longed for vacation.   You see the spouse sitting there with a stunned face alone on an island on what was suppose to be the trip of a life time, and it doesn’t matter if you are 25 or 65.  Don’t wait, do it now.  Like Tim McGraw’s song, “live like you were dying”

But enough of that, yesterday was a day of death, today will be a day of living.

So today was a be kind to myself day.  I got home and slept briefly as it is very hot and humid, not a good sleeping day.

Then when I got up, the nice neighbor lady gave me about 25 orchids.  She was trying to grow them and not having any luck.  So I have never grown them before and thought it would be nice and it was so nice of her.  So I repotted, and did some research and managed to save 11 plants for me, and 7 plants for a good doctor friend of mine.  He plants them in his trees!   I put mine in pots, and tried a couple in the lava rock by our lemon tree.   I love orchids, and they grow abundantly and well here, so I hope I have a orchid green thumb.  It will be fun to see if I can make them grow.

And I am going to make a nice supper for hubby, have a big salad and my NS and will work on my kitchen a bit.  Almost done.  I will posted the before and after photos.

Be well be safe…….

Posted on June 20th, 2007 by islandgrl
Filed under: General