Losin it in Paradise

Made it thru the first day, and down about 3 pound today, but that is water weight and I know it, but will take what I can get.

Flying to Oahu to a meeting this morning.  They will supply lunch so hope there is a salad choice, but just in case I brought my NS power bar.

I am hoping that seeing myself on this blog everyday will help.  I have to be totally honest cause if I lie on here, then I am lying to myself and that will not help at all.

My hubby whom I asked so nicely to help me with this battle came home last night with a box of Molson Canadian Ice….yes that is beer.  I used to love that beer and have not had one since I moved from Canada to Hawaii in 1999.   I hate american beer, so he thought we would bring me a nice treat even thou I have had a beer for years!   I went YIKES, you know I am dieting why do you do that?  HIM is always doing things like that, I am dieting so he buys me a homemade ice cream maker,  now the beer.  I made him put it in the back room, would not let him put it in the fridge at all.   Now I don’t really feel that is a tempation for me cause I am not a beer drinker, but do you see what I mean????

HIM is always trying to muck up my dieting.  HIM is overweight, loves to eat junk food, and I think he hates to see me dieting, he feels he is losing a pig out buddy.

When I first met my HIM, he was fit and fabulous.  A marital arts instructor, a jogger, rode bikes for miles and also did no hold bar fighting.  I was also thinner but not as fit, but we used to hike and ride bikes together as well as go to the desert and target practise.  When we moved to Hawaii he took a job that allows him to work at home.  Now he does NOTHING.  He sits in front of the computer and eats all day……junk!   He has a TV in his office and that is all he does.  He no longer works out, rides his bike, runs or does his marital arts.  He has gone from a size 32 waist to a size 38 and cannot figure out why!!!!!

We have been here for over 3 years and he goes no where, he know no one person on this island so has no friends, but ME.  I feel so pressured to alwasy be entertaining him, and being is buddy.  I have no friends of my own cause I feel guilty that he has no friend and don’t want to leave him home alone.  So we do EVERYTHING together, we are glued at the hip……I HATE IT

Cannot talk to him about it because he always says, “you can go out and have friends, I don’t care”  but he is so passive agressive, I would have to put up with the sighs and the depressed looks on his face, so I stay and be with him always and we eat together.  No more hiking or beach or anything for some reason.

I think he is depressed but he denies it, says he doesn’t need friends and is alright and is happy with his life, his job, his yard and his home renos he is doing……sigh

Life sucks sometimes.

Well I had better go and finish getting ready to fly to Oahu.

Another day……same ole same old

Posted on May 1st, 2007 by islandgrl
Filed under: General