310

Tuesday’s Weight= 292.0

Wednesday Exercise= 30 min treadmill

Yesterday’s Weight= 293.4

Yesterday’s Exercise= 21 min treadmill, 18 min elliptical

I’ve been feeling tired and moody. It’s not TOM time and I don’t seem to be getting sick. My nose is stuffy but I think it’s allergies. Our weekend is Tue-Thurs. Since the hubby is on-board, it was a little easier to stay on plan. I got at least one of the three days right. Plus he went to the gym two of the days so I dragged my butt along with him. We only did 30 minutes each time, which is less than my usual, but more than I had planned to do for that day anyways. So the exercise is starting to get a bit more regular even though as I sit here, I already don’t plan on going today…Last night I went out and bought a bag of chips to eat while watching tv.

I don’t have a tough life, but lately, I’ve been thinking I wish I was sick so I could be left alone, but it doesn’t work that way even if I was. Maybe I just need to eat right and get to sleep on time. I’ll at least try to get to bed on time today. I’ve already screwed up the food.

I didn’t weigh myself this morning, because I was up yesterday and after last night, I’m probably up again today.

The kids are really annoying. I’m tired of having to leave the house to keep some sanity around here. They are always fighting over something. None of the toys or the pool hardly gets played with. Might as well give them all away and I’m about to start confining them to the couch, ’sit down and be quiet’.

People say maybe it’s the heat.

Yesterday’s weight= 291.6

Yesterday’s exercise= 15 min stairmaster, 30 min weights, 18 min treadmill

Today’s Weight= 290.6

It’s HOT! Even in the pool, it’s HOT! As I swam from underwater to the top, I could feel the great difference in the temps of the water, and as I broke through to the top, it was just like, “Ugh! It’s HOT out here!” Even while fully submersed in water, it’s HOT. I think usually our hottest days are in August, but it’s hard to believe it can get much hotter than this. But, ah only a month from now and it will start cooling off. September/October is probably my favorite time of the year. The weather is awesome and the fun holidays are coming. Soon we’ll be able to use our fireplace again, and leave windows open! Oh well… for now, it’s just plain HOT.

It’s like Saturday for us. Today we’re going to grandma’s house to grill, collect locust shells, and play in the pool. Boy do I hope her pool water is cooler than the one we have here at the clubhouse.

Friday’s Exercise= weights, treadmill, elliptical, stairmaster

Yesterday’s Weight= 292.6

Yesterday’s Exercise= swimming and walking

Today’s Weight= 290.2

This week’s loss= .-8

Well…. I haven’t had a loss for the week since week 34, so I’m very happy.  It’s a start. It’s so easy to turn to the wrong thing. I was getting easily frustrated this morning, over nothing important, just anxieties, and almost grabbed the Baked Lays as the first thing I ate. Good thing I’m doing a breakfast study that requires pictures of what we’re eating every morning for the duration of it. That made me quickly move into the Cheerios with blueberries! AH, it was very good too!

Perhaps…. if we had to do a photo or video diary of everything we ate, we just might eat better much more easily.

Yesterday’s Weight= 295.0!

Today’s Weight= 293.4

HUH? Why is it that my life is changing in all areas and has to be all at once? Ok maybe it just seems like it, but I’ve been actually making changes all over the place for the past year. Some stuck, some failed and rebounded, some are fresh and new…. I won’t spill all my secrets, but a few to share are:

past drug use that is finally behind me for good. Praise the Lord. I REALLY dislike saying things too fast out of fear that it’ll fail me but I THINK I’M RIGHT! when I say that after 20+ yrs of one drug or another, on and off, legal, illegal and/or prescribed, I am finally FREE from that kind of crappy bondage.

DEBT! We are so in debt it’s overwhelming and hard to imagine getting out of. But thanks to a class at church, I’ve tallied my spendings for a month and found that we overspent by about 1200 dollars! Our money spent at the grocery store alone was 850. Our gym membership renewals are due, and yes… I’m keeping that one. My year is approaching on this new lifestyle of diet and exercise. My teeth are still being fixed, that was a 950 dollar charge the other day and more to do in January when the benefits are refilled for the new year. I’m so grateful my husband has his job. Praise the Lord.

I stayed up too late last night and then the youngest kept waking me up. I woke up this morning in a BAD mood and was going to throw it all away and eat whatever I wanted today, take a nap as soon as possible, and skip the gym. Who cares. BUT somehow I took a shower instead and took the kids outside to play (per their request) and finally sat down and added up all those #s I’ve been avoiding for the past 2 weeks and found out what we spent during the month of June. It’s nice to have it all down and know what’s happening. I’ve decided to do it again starting today for a month, and see what changes I can make. I’m tempted to cut up my credit card, but that would be rash and probably something I would regret. “Don’t go crazy” is something I read out of PastaQueen’s book. I like that phrase. I have to try to keep myself sane and moving forward with a steady, consistent step, and not go CRAZY!

Hubby said he weighed 220 this morning and can see the fat in his face. His goal is 195. So he said he’s gonna do something about it. Funny how we feed off of each other, at times. It’s always great to be on the same page.

Yesterday’s Weight= 294.4

Today’s Weight= 292.6

I fully expected to reach 295 today and it was pretty upsetting and depressing yesterday. So far, up until yesterday, the whole weight gain thing has been understood and accepted by me, and not weighing me down with depression, that is until the latter part of yesterday. I’ve squeezed in some changes last week, and just need to squeeze in more and hopefully get to where I was before. “Just do it!” One of my favorite posts….

But instead TOM is over and I’m down a couple pounds from yesterday. Gotta love that. Plus it makes me feel like I have a jump start. Well, off to the gym… Have a great day.

Today’s Exercise= 6 min stairmaster, 50+ min weights, 18 min elliptical

I’m emotional today. Every time I think about it being Kevin’s 18th birthday, I get teary-eyed and almost feeling like bawling. He’s not even my own son, but like our fourth son, as I call him. According to my own eldest son, David, he is technically more like our second son since he’s been around longer than my two youngest, Joshua and Joey. Those who know me, have heard about Kevin many times. Those who read the blog have even caught it a couple times. Most recently here.  He’s a grade or two behind and my son is a grade ahead so they are in the same grade and for awhile even went to the same school and were in the same class. It started as he was a neighbor of ours who quickly spent a lot of time here. As they kept, moving around in Las Vegas, he still stayed here often. At one point, it was clear he needed some place more permanent and stable. We tried to provide that for awhile but in a two bedroom home, it didn’t work very well and I had trouble keeping in contact with his mom. For one year, we managed to have her sign over parental rights to another friends’ family who he was also hanging out at and they had a huge home and home schooled. When they moved to Arizona, his sister (who was now 18 and had her own place plus two little kids…) took him in and he still stays there for most of the time. I’m seeing, though, now that he has a ton of friends over in that apartment complex, and is very happy with the school there. We’re seeing a little less of him now and I think this might be the first time we don’t have him for his birthday or a holiday!

It’s kind of nice to go through this first with him and be able to know what to expect when my own kids go through their stages. I remember thinking a couple years ago, if we could just get him to age 18, that’d be good…but no, it’s almost worst in my mind now. Now he’s legal for any trouble he could get into and yet he’s still like a 16 yr old because of his grade and his friends. Will he finish school? Will he succumb to the drugs he is surrounded by?

I really think we’ve done what we can. We’ve given him all the talks many times over. We’ve wathced out for him, made sure he has what he needs; including hunted down his mom to get ahold of information and take him in to get him his birth certificate, social security card, and state ID.

Either/and/or I am emotional from TOM or this is what it’s like to have to let go… I feel bad for my son David because he’s been wanting him to come over lately and it seems like they’re drifting away. This has happened before, maybe it’s just a phase, but then again, he is 18 now… off to bigger and better things?

KEVIN RIDING THE MOTORCYCLE WHILE DAVID DRIVES PAST

KEVIN in the white and red, and the rest of my family

Halloween 2007 David is the hippie and Kevin is the SCREAM creature

Today’s Weight= 291.0

This week’s gain = +1 lb

There really isn’t much else to say. I’m just posting my self-imposed obligation of the weekly weigh-in I hope everyone is having a blessed Sunday and has a great week!

So yesterday must be the beginning of PMS or something. I had some emotions tending towards depressions; I was completely irrational and ready to battle everyone in my path. Men oughta know better then to reply to “I think I’m getting my period” with….”I’ll say.” What kind of crappy answer is that? You can bet it didn’t help. It immediately sent me into another spin. Then he was surprised when an hour later he asked what’s wrong and my reply was, “I’ll say.” Whatever. It seems to have continued into today. I didn’t sleep well. I have things I have to do today that I am unsettled with. All I wanna do is point the finger and I’m having a hard time keeping my mouth shut, but what’s the point….it’s not like he reads the blog anyways… I should just vent…Then again, I did say that we probably shouldn’t be able to write or speak while we’re in this crazy PMS stage!

ugh, oh well, I’ll just carry on through the day and hopefully be able to make the right choices. I didn’t eat right yesterday, it started out ok but slowly went downhill. Then I skipped the gym because of attitudes as well as sore legs. I did the whole “AHHHHH!” thing every time I sat down, got up, and/or used the toilet. Apparently 15 squats after 7 weeks of mostly inactivity is almost too much! Good grief, I used to do 30 and not feel a thing! ARGH! I sure hope I have learned my lesson. Anyways, dare I say, I am somewhat proud of myself to see changes happening again instead of complete abandon. It’s so tough to be content. You always want more, the next acheivement, more money, and so on!

Good Morning!

‘This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.’ Psalm 118:24

Yesterday’s Weight= 292.2

Yesterday’s Exercise=45 min treadmill, 15 squats and some weights

Today’s Weight= 291.2

I finally got a gold star on the w8challenge for eating right yesterday. Now let’s do that again! I need to go shopping this morning before it gets dreadful hot out. Need more fruit and good foods. I’ve been getting to bed a little earlier but still even after 8 hrs, I’m tired. And tired of being tired. And sore. My feet and ankles hurt, my hips sometimes hurt, sometimes my knee. How quickly everything returns. For me, it was about 6 weeks.

Monday’s Exercise= 45 min weights

Tuesday’s Exercise= 30 min treadmill, 30 min swimming

I’m trying to get back to exercising, and after today will get back to trying to eat better. On Monday, I made my debut back at the gym. I felt like such a fat fraud. I’ve got the clothes and the get up, but hey, I’ve been going there for 8 months and I’m sure it doesn’t look like much progress to anyone. Makes me feel like a wanna-be. I know these are all emotions to just ignore but there was a lot of them on that first day. It really felt like a first day again. My muscles were achy even though I did exactly what I was doing just 7 weeks ago. I’m sure more than half of the 15 lbs I gained must be in my fat tire belly cuz it just jiggles so disgustingly! When walking around the casino with my hubby I couldn’t keep up and was starting to have to catch my breath. Heartburn has somewhat returned. Enough to chew a couple Rolaids and take one acid blocker. I used to to do that multiple times a day.

Monday night my husband and I went to see Casablanca at the movie theater at the Aliante casino. It was kind of fun. The room was already full so we took the top row, up in the back. I don’t think I’ve sat there since I was kid and I think I like it up there! I had trouble with the accents, tight lipped talking, and background buzz on the old film (I’m hearing impaired, usually use closed captioning but also usually can hear and read lips at a theater) Then yesterday, I was back to the same casino for my day/night away. About once a year, I get away. Some time to myself. I spent 30 min on the treadmill in the hotel fitness room first, before I got caught up in other things and changed my mind on doing that. After that, I went down to the pool. The water was a little warm to me. But considering it was 110 here yesterday, I guess that’s as good as it gets. While on the treadmill, I looked out over the pool area and watched the cocktail waitress go through the area 3 times but when I was poolside and done swimming, I waited 20 minutes for her to come around before I finally  had to walk my fat self in a suit over to the bar area. I intended to get TWO drinks, since I know they’re usually small and go quick. I don’t think I’ve ever bought myself two at one before….but it wasn’t to be this time either. Each drink was $10! Plus you have to leave a tip right? So $12 later, I walk on back to my seat, drink is half gone by I get there, but it was worth it. I enjoyed my first pineapple mojito. It was pineapple rum, fresh mint, limes, and club soda.

I’m pretty tired this morning. Check out is in 3 hrs. I could sleep but what fun is that? And besides, I already tried that and didn’t sleep well. My hips were achy. not sure if it’s me or the bed. I’m spoiled at home with a waterbed. I went to bed at 1:30am and ended up getting up before 6am. I went down to the vacant casino area and got lucky! It’s SO rare… I got four aces on a dollar machine, just by walking around and playing a credit here and a credit there. It paid $400. So after all is said and done. I will have gotten away and came home with more than I left with.

I’ve had so much to eat….the room deal came with a $30 food credit. I’ve only used up $20 worth so far. But I’ll get something to go before I check out and take it home if I have to. Surely not going to leave $10 behind.