310

Sat=  286.2 Sun= 286.4

Today’s weight= 286.0

I haven’t tracked food the last couple days, nor have I made it to the gym. Will probably go today though, and dinner is pizza and cheesecake, so I’m going to make sure I eat right the rest of the day. Today’s plan is to take the kids to our little kiddie pool at the clubhouse. It’ll be the first time for this summer. Before now, it was closed for repairs and the weather was cooler than usual. But not anymore! Now it’s nearly 110. It’s HOT.

Yesterday morning I found this note on my teen sons’ bedroom door. Don’t you wish it were that easy?!

Today’s Weight= 287.2

This weeks’ gain = +1.8 lbs

Yesterday’s Exercise= 60 min treadmill

Yesterday’s Totals= 2172 calories, 18 g fiber, 122 g protein

Yesterday’s Exercise= 30 min weights (45 butterfly, 20 lat pull down, 30 abdominal, 60 leg extension, 60 leg presses, 15 calf lifts, 30 arm curls)

Today’s weight= 287.0! (-3.4 lbs)

BAM! 3.4 lbs lost in the last 24 hours. Talk about a jump start and even more encouragment to do this. Yesterday marked the end of TOM, the passing of bowels, the proper water intake, and the beginning (hopefully) of eating right again. I won’t use such big and daring words like “Yes, this is it. I’m doing it! No more goofing around” For myself, those words are a set-up in itself, just waiting to prove me wrong.

You all have been amazing in your support. I (like many of us) have a hard time accepting help. Always wanting to be the strong one, who doesn’t need help, and only gives it. I feel bad when I’m weak and people have to help me. Especially over and over again. ‘Surely, they’ll give up one day…‘ I’d think.

Paperskin suggested writing what’s bothering me. I’ve wondered that myself. There’s always the usual daily life stuff that can be bothersome and stressful in spurts. But those things I’ve dealt with while on plan and doing great. There hasn’t been a big black cloud over me. So I can’t say I fell into a great depression. That’s good because it would’ve been much harder to pull out. I think I just got comfortable with not going to the gym because I got comfortable with eating junk and then snowballing that into full blown, eat whatever I want for days, turning into weeks. I got comfortable catching up on my shows that are piling up on the dvr and playing this stupid, addicting Facebook game, Mafia Wars. (Anyone wanna join my mafia? See I told you I was addicted)

So I got too comfortable in many ways. I think leading up to this I got too comfortable during the exercise too. That was nice. I don’t really want to increase it and not enjoy it! But I guess that’s what needs to be done. Back to square one on the exercise. (well not really, but it feels like it. The past two days have been hard to push through.) I plan to go to the gym regularly again but in shorter visits with the intensity increased.

I was extra hungry at times yesterday. Probably just because I couldn’t eat certain things. So I ate extra protein, assuming I’d go over my calories, but somehow I still had 7 calories left!

Yesterday’s Totals= 2561 calories, 22 g fiber, 257 g protein

~~ I just went back and looked at my tracking on the W8challenge page and saw that out of the last 20 days, I only ate right 4 times and got exercise 7 times.

Yesterday’s Exercise= 5 min treadclimber, 55 min treadmill

Today’s weight= 290.4

Well, there it is. I saw 290 on the scale this morning. I didn’t really expect to, I’m not shocked and I didn’t freak out. But it’s definetly where I have to draw the line. Today might be tough but hopefully it’ll be done. Yesterday’s exercise was tough. I used to be up to 18 min on treadclimber and I could only stand 5 min of it. Then I wanted to quit at 30 min of exercise but managed to make myself do the full hour. It reminds of the first days. Then I remembered something I read recently about how she increased things when it got easier. I’m afraid I probably didn’t do enough of that. I was doing A LOT of exercise and it was in my opinion pretty easy. It was comfortable. Where I wanted to be. Who wants to make this miserable? Not me… but I guess it should be hard or I won’t see enough results and maybe fall back into what I’ve been doing the past month or more. I’m afraid to even go back and see just how long I’ve been slacking. The truth is hard to face, at times.

Everything hurts. My theme song for today should be Everybody Hurts. I like sappy songs like that sometimes. My right hip hurts (I couldn’t sleep well this morning). My left heel has been in pain for at least 2 weeks. My lower back has been hurting, and sometimes my knees.

Thanks for the support and encouragement. I dislike having to put you in that position, but I also didn’t want to leave the blogging hanging and you all wondering. It makes me teary eyed reading your comments, so again thank you very much for caring!

Everybody Hurts (This is the right recording I could find that wasn’t LIVE. The correct lyrics are below)

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on
Don’t let yourself go, ’cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

‘Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

yesterday’s weight= 287.0

Today’s weight= dunno. didn’t bother.

I’m up about 10 lbs from my lowest. I’ll probably freak out if I see 290 again. My mind’s always thinking. I see fat people. I don’t wanna go back to where I was 8 months ago: always tired, always inactive, can’t fit in the seats on the airplane or at theaters, always depressed…you know, those things. I’m still reading a couple books, too. So that furthers the thinking, the reminders, and the inspiration. I’m sorry I haven’t been around to many blogs lately. I’ve been caught up in a silly Facebook game. Sitting on my butt a little too much!

Yesterday I took the kids to the little water play section of the nearby park. This morning I took the kids to BounceU and the pet store. This evening I have an appointment for the gym.

Today’s Weight= 285.4

This weeks’ gain = +2.2 lbs

Today’s Exercise- 5 min stairmaster, 20 min weights (15 calf lifts, 60 leg presses, 55 butterfly) 35 min elliptical

Oh look some exercise. It felt good being back at the gym again. I like bigprof’s idea of at least trying to get one or the other right until I’m ‘back’ on track. I’ve also decided not to ’save’ my good diet foods for only when I’m eating right. It seems like a waste to use them up when off plan, but at the same time it’s foolish to skip them and eat more junk.

Thank you everyone for your support. I almost felt like saying you don’t have to waste your breath in the last post Susan I love your blueprint, the road map & the t-shirtcomment; funny and original, just like you! brseasy come kick my butt, please. Maura, you’ve accomplished amazing things by eliminating that orange soda and drinking more water than anybody I know. I hope you’ll not stray too far from it, it’s hard once you’ve strayed a little too far, as you can see! paperskin, can you imagine how much better off the majority of us might be if schools taught a more significant health class about nutrition and exercise!? How about some hands-on experiements even?

Today’s Weight= 285.4

No, I didn’t do it again. (meaning eat right and exercise the next day) I didn’t even do it the last three days. I started out a couple of the mornings doing it right but quickly jumped ship and did whatever I wanted. I did manage to swim a little the other day but more casual than exercise. Other than that food is off plan, I haven’t exercised, and until this morning I couldn’t tell you where my water bottle disappeared to. I do know that I’m not happy with this, so it’ll have to change. I’m surprised I still haven’t had the heartburn return.

Here’s some interesting info I read in “You on a Diet”:

*When you have chronic stress, your body increases its production of steriods and insulin, which…

*Increases your appetite, which….

* Increases the chance you’ll engage in hedonistic eating in the form of high-calorie sweets and fats, which…

*Makes you store more fat, especially in the omentum, which…

*Pumps more fat and inflammatory chemicals into the liver, which…

*Creates a resistance to insulin, which….

*Makes your pancreas secrete more insulin to compensate, which…

*Makes you hungrier than a muzzled wolf, which…

*Continues the cycle of eating because you’re stressed and being stressed because you’re eating.

Interestingly, the more fat you store in your omentum, the more it reduces the effect of stress on your brain-it’s your body’s way of comforting you, assuring you that you’ll be prepared during times of famine. It’s why you omentum fat-the fat around your belly- isn’t just an indicator of the size of your waist, it’s also your own personal gauge of the size of your stress.

Ever think helping someone move would be enjoyable? Yesterday I planned to go to the gym after church. It’s usually hard to squeeze in because the child care closes early on the weekend. But during the announcements, the pastor mentioned someone in the church who received  a 3 days’ notice to move because they were renters and the landlord’s home foreclosed. The renters had no idea this was brewing. So in the announcement he let us know that they have to be out of their house by 6pm and if anyone with a strong body could help with moving boxes and furniture, to please come out. This member is our band’s lead singer and guitar player. Just before the announcement I was wishing he could have some help since the other guy moved to PA just a couple weeks ago. We can’t help him in the band, so we were pretty happy to step up and help him and his family here.

My teen didn’t wanna help. He had big plans to play a video game online. Yesterday being the last day of some special kind of play. I was disappointed but not surprised. His friend that was with us, though, he was happy to come and help. He was a great help. The movers gave him a stereo system that they were giving away, or throwing out. We all met their police dog, named Hunter. He is beautiful. A black lab. A narcotics dog. I think Vinny really enjoyed himself and watch he might wanna go to church again!

It was actually fun to be a part of it. I think there was about 20-25 people there. That was fastest move I’ve ever seen or heard of. We had them out of one house and into the other within 3 hours.

I’m a little sore today. My ankles, mostly. But it was good exercise. Lots of going up and down stairs! I wouldn’t have lasted 30 minutes last year, but yesterday, I went the whole 2.5 hours.

So I finally got back on track yesterday. Ate and drank according to plan, and got in my exercise. Let’s see if we can do it again!

Yesterday’s Weight= 286.6

Yesterday’s totals= 2551 calories, 26 g fiber, 180 g protein

Yesterdays’ exercise= 2.5 hrs moving: lots of climbing up n down stairs, 30+ min walk

Today’s Weight= 286.6

drawn by my son, Joshua age 5

Yesterday’s Exercise= 45 min walk

Today’s Weight= 284.6

I’ve set tomorrow for the day of stopping the insanity. Bigprof inspired me yesterday but then I fell through instead of following through.

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Last two days included no exercise, fast food, and cheetos. Off the wagon and right back to my old ways. Hoping sanity returns soon.

Today’s Weight= 283.2

This weeks’ gain = +2.4 lbs

Have a great weekend, everyone.