song of the road

1. Drink 2+ liters of water - Yes
2. Sleep 7 hours - yes. Actually way more than yes. I have slept and slept and then slept some more these two days.
3. Have low fat dairy - yes. Had a couple of pieces of cheese.
4. No carb at night - yes
5. Stick to planned meals - yes.
6. Work out 3-5 times a week - The first week ended with 3 days in gym. Not ideal but okay.
7. Work on de-stressing - have not thought too much about work today. Have bought some necessary stuff for the trip. things are slowly falling in place. though as usual too much work remains to be done.
8. Blog everyday with a status - done. (well - today’s blog is a combined status of two days)

1. Drink 2+ liters of water - yes.
2. Sleep 7 hours - yes.
3. Have low fat dairy - yes.
4. No carb at night - yes
5. Stick to planned meals - mostly yes. The salad packed for evening went a little bad. I had a bit of snacks from cafetaria which while healthy was very less. So back home had a bowl of curry and a bowl of low fat yoghurt. No damage done.
6. Work out 3-5 times a week - Did not go to gym yesterday.
7. Work on de-stressing - The work is piling up as usual. So a little stressed. Need to devise ways to be more efficient.
8. Blog everyday with a status - done.

1. Drink 2+ liters of water - yes.
2. Sleep 7 hours - slept about 6.5 hrs.
3. Have low fat dairy - not done.
4. No carb at night - not done
5. Stick to planned meals - not done. Did not have food from home. Nothing was planned.
6. Work out 3-5 times a week - Did not go to gym today.
7. Work on de-stressing - Good. Went out with a co-worker. He talked and gossiped. It was cool. Had a chat with bro and s-i-l when I came back. Was not very stressed yesterday.
8. Blog everyday with a status - done.

1. Drink 2+ liters of water - yes.
2. Sleep 7 hours - Just made it.
3. Have low fat dairy - had my one piece of cheese of about 60 cal. .
4. No carb at night - done
5. Stick to planned meals - almost done. Had a grilled cheese sandwich after gym instead of my regular protein shake.
6. Work out 3-5 times a week - Went to gym today. Did 20 mins on the treadmill and 5 mins on a new elliptical and about 2 mins of cycling. Well, the new elliptical was very tough. The one I use normally was not working. I couldn’t survive more than 5 mins on the new one. Should be able to do more next time. So the work-out was about okay. Plan to do only cardio till I leave for UK.
7. Work on de-stressing - Not bad. We had the meeting. I came out more or less unscathed. My manager did not screw up my team. I have to give up one girl sometime in next couple of months. Compared to the damage I was expecting this was nothing. In fact my manager wanted to take away 1 out my 3 super-acheivers and give to V. But V was an idiot and let that slip out of his hand. I may still need to give up this guy later. Not ideal but I can live with it. V made some noises about it was not fair to let me have all of the good team (which I had built by the way) but wasn’t listened to much. So I am okay. I mostly listened to in the meeting and did not say anything stupid or emotional at all. I can stick on to doing my job well and let it be for the time being. I was seriously stressed before the meeting - all stomach ache, shivers, chills etc. But was so relieved afterwards. Almost lightheaded with relief. I cannot really let my guard down but this battle has been won. Thank you everyone (especially Round for being so nice, empathetic and literally holding my hand). I wanted to eat something badly afterwards. Sort of held on and sort of didn’t have much opportunity till late evening when I had that cheese sandwich. I could have done without it perhaps but can’t bother to feel too bad. It was sooooo yummy - the smell of butter and grilled cheese was awesome.
8. Blog everyday with a status - done.

Today is not going to be too good. I have to meet a friend after work. So no gym. He has specifically wanted to go for pizza. I either would have a small one or try to order a salad. I would invite some snaryky comments if I order salad plus I would love a pizza more anyway. So let’s see what I do. Maybe I would read a few of your blogs before leaving and gather the willpower for salad. I wouldn’t mind eating the salad at all. It’s just awkward to order salad. No one normal (in our stupid standards) orders salad when eating out. Anyways, enough on that. I came to work at 6 am to attend a class happening from NY. The instructor didn’t turn up. So no class, no packed lunch, no chickpea salad (which I am getting bored of - need to think up something different this weekend - maybe I will make veg chilli and freeze it). I think my meals won’t be super-healthy today. Will try to stick to the straight and narrow as much as possible. Meanwhile will think one day of slightly higher calories will rev up the metabolism and actually help me lose more. See I have no lack of excuses to slip.

Guess I have been too stressed last few weeks with crazy amount of work and V. I just cannot feel too worried about the fact that today won’t be a very good day. I will take that as an improvement to my tempearment and move on. I will be back with my boxes and gym bag tomorrow.

Love you everyone. Hope you all are doing well. I will try to do a quick check on your blogs. If not today, I definitely plan to check on each of you on weekend. Best of luck!

1. Drink 2+ liters of water - Drank just about 2 liters. I think I will drink a few more sips now.
2. Sleep 7 hours - Plan to do. slept about 6.5 hrs last night.
3. Have low fat dairy - had one piece of cheese of about 60 cal. Need to buy some other brand. This one though low cal, is high salt.
4. No carb at night - done
5. Stick to planned meals - almost done. Had one stupid cookie which was not tasty. neither am I all that crazy about cookies. more on this later.
6. Work out 3-5 times a week - Went to gym today. Did 45 mins on the elliptical. Need to get hold of my regular trainer. The work out was good but not that sweaty.
7. Work on de-stressing - Hmmm. I would say I managed plenty well. I almost fell asleep at work once. I have a meeting at 10 tomorrow where my team would be split. That hurts physically. I made lists on why I would be okay and how I rock. I need to get through tomorrow gracefully. I know how much I am hating to give up some of my guys. But that’s not the end of the world. I cannot screw up things here by being unprofessional. I almost went to have a masala dosa (savoury thin rice pancake with spicy potato fillling) because I was worried and was feeling sick. Then I was told about the meeting tomorrow. I was hit so hard that I actually turned back and picked up my packed from home snack of chickpea salad. It was plenty difficult to eat the salad. I kept on feeling like throwing up. Then I had too much work and later left for gym. So today is over. Tomorrow will be too. From the big picture view I am really freaking out over a non-issue. Wish my heart would understand.
8. Blog everyday with a status - done.

1. Drink 2+ liters of water - Drank slightly more than 3 liters. I think it is only the heat and not my blood sugar acting up. Anyway will get the report tomorrow. I do hope to be within normal. I have been quite good food-wise this last month.
2. Sleep 7 hours - Yet to do.
3. Have low fat dairy - 200 ml of buttermilk.
4. No carb at night - done
5. Stick to planned meals - done
6. Work out 3-5 times a week - Went to gym today. Did 30 mins on the elliptical and then walked for 5 mins. It’s been a long-ish break. Need a few days to be back in to the groove.
7. Work on de-stressing - Done. The working out helped a bit. In the morning wrote down the things I have achieved in my current job and the things I want to achieve. That calmed me down a lot. Also V was on leave today, so that was a surprise reprieve. (I know how that sounds, I am working on the issue).
8. Blog everyday with a status - done.

This is how I fared on my plan on the first day

1. Drink 2+ liters of water - done. It is sooo hot here, not very sure if this was enough.
2. Sleep 7 hours - done.
3. Have low fat dairy - 200 ml of buttermilk.
4. No carb at night - done
5. Stick to planned meals - done
6. Work out 3-5 times a week - nope
7. Work on de-stressing - Done. As in I was a bit nervous about going back to work on Monday - both a mix of generic Monday morning blues and my current stress. Did some positive talking to self. Have a working strategy to how to tackle this. Will have to bear the rest. Plan to work out. That should help a lot.
8. Blog everyday with a status - done.

Here is the third list of 10 more things that make me happy. They are not in the order of preference.

21. Drama

I love drama. In life, in a book, in a tv series. I am a bit of a drama queen. I let my imaginations run wild and make a big fuss about a small problem. I am working on it. Now let me move on to the fun bit. I like talking and writing a bit dramatically. I notice doing that sometimes even on my work emails. I like the look of surprise on someone’s face when something unexpected happens. I like working and planning a bit to have something unexpected happen. I don’t always love the drama that happens in my own life but do realize that life would be too tame without it.

Also I do realize a few of my likes are going to contradict each other. Guess it is okay to love both sides of a thing.

22. Harmony

Yep, I love harmony. It weirdly co-exists with my love for drama. I think I love drama in small doses whereas I need harmony much more constantly. I need it at home. I need it at work. I have been the peacemaker at home for very long. At least I try to be. To resolve really tricky and sticky issues and get everyone around to one idea so that things can move forward – that’s my brother. I am too scared. I give in, I placate, I compliment, I listen, I try to empathize to bring peace. I let small harms happen to me in the name of peace. Though I do think giving in on small issues is often the good long term plan. And sometimes it is not – cases in point were my two affairs. But then again perhaps they were not meant to be. Because of my peaceful ways (for the most part), I had lots of fun when it lasted. I need to see my family smiling and in reasonably good humor. When they are not, I am on edge and unhappy. It is same for my team at work. I need to see my team happy. I would go on fidgeting and trying to do something or other to resolve the issue. It’s like a broken tooth that I can’t leave alone. This perhaps makes me a good lead and good family member but there are times when I need to leave it alone. I try to keep that in mind and sometimes withdraw back. Anyways, so harmony is something that makes me happy and content.

23. Company of a child

That is one of the best things in this world, right? The feel of a child in your arms and their sweet smell and their toothy smile and slightly blank or sometimes owlish stare – it’s a piece of heaven. The babies are too sweet. I can hold one forever (not really but almost). I used to be really good to keep a kid happy and smiling. Now it’s been a long time and I have grown a bit conscious. But it will come over in a few hours when needed. Hopefully between my bro and s-i-l or me, we would have one shortly in our family. I also love kids slightly older i.e. the ones who talk. I love their precociousness and love to hear their stories for ever. Also turn the table on them and ask tons of silly questions – it’s too cute to see them struggling to explain the obvious to me. There have very few (even in these – someone else pointed it out later with logic I couldn’t go against) who seemed ill brought up to me. They all are so full of wonder. A crying baby will of course overwhelm me a bit. Otherwise I have enjoyed being every child I have come across so far.

24. Perfume

I love perfumes. I really truly love them. I have loved them for as long as I can remember. My mom and my aunts are a bit of a perfume snobs. We didn’t have many expensive perfumes when we were kids. My mom had two bottles of exquisite stuff – one I think was called Intimate or Intimacy and I don’t remember the name of the other. An uncle of mine who lives in Seattle got them to her. It was a treat to put them on on a very special occasion. I used to just open the bottle and smell it and it was heaven. Both my bro and I were crazy about them. I bought a couple of Indian brands after I started working which was crap. Then I went to Chicago and completely flipped out. I bought bottles of Ralph Lauren, Organza, Elizabeth Arden and dozens of miniature bottles. My dad, mom, bro and I – each one of us were so happy with our individual bottles. Nowadays we can buy super brands here. I had since then bought Davidoff, Christian Dior et al. The love affair continues. I think this is one thing I wasn’t worried about enjoying even after being fat. I do plan to pick up a few more bottles in London this year. I love a lovely smell. I think I sound a bit gauche with my gushing love for perfumes – but who cares.

25. Washing dishes

How’s that for coming back one earth? I think I should have made a list more consistent and with a better flow. Maybe I will some day. For now, let me meander around a bit crazily. This list is meant only to be therapeutic to me.

So yeah, weird but true. I love washing dishes. There is something about the suds and the squeaky clean crockery and cooking vessels that I find very calming and fulfilling. I don’t do much heavy washing these days but I like to. I think I will bring out the unused crockery one of these days and clean them thoroughly. I am not that keen any other form of housework. I can do them when I need to. But this is the only thing (that I can think of right now) I like.

26.  Youtube

I love internet. I am going to spread that out. Even then it would be major hard work to hit 100. So I love youtube. I think I visit youtube a lot less than many others. I love watching recipes there. Sometimes I watch workout advice there too. What I mainly watch though is old Hindi movies and some regional language (India has two official language – Hindi and English, and 22 official regional languages – Bengali is one of them which is my mother tongue, and more than 100 more languages and dialects.) movies with subtitles. Many a night I have cured my upset mind with romantic mushy movies in youtube. For seriously good ones, I get a DVD.

27. Stand-up comedy

I love stand-up comedy. We have quite a few good shows in this genre on TV. The jokes are in Hindi and Bengali. Not so many in English. I have quite a few favorites. My sense of humor is not all encompassing. I do not like quite a few jokes or comedians. But often love a good laugh. Sometimes you feel down and switch on the TV without any expectation whatsoever and a good joke lights up the downcast mood like a high powered camera flash. (Bad analogy? I know.) I am yet to watch a live show. Need to do that one of these days.

28. Daydreaming

I am only at 28 and already weird territory creeping in. J Okay, so I love to daydream. I do it less lately which I think is much more than average. I would be dreaming some silly fantasy when commuting to work, in a boring meeting, with pages of reading material open, when trying to sleep. Every book, every movie sets a chain on. I wish they were a bit structured and less melodramatic – maybe I could have turned them in to stories. Anyway, many a happy moment has been spent dreaming awake. It keeps me happier and often stops me from brooding too much. Also helps me now to visualize days of good and clean eating and working out. This is something I love and I think it is good in a way too. It perhaps makes me a bit of escapist but I need a healthy dose escapism at times.

29. Kishore Kumar

Well, he is a very famous and almost universally popular singer in India. He sang tons of hindi and other Indian language songs, mostly for movies. He had a magical baritone voice. There are some songs which have pales due to listening to them too much and some songs are too sentimental. But there is nothing like putting on a CD and listening to him when one is upset and angry. His honey smooth voice will wash away everything and bring in a mellow mood. Never fails.

30. A stretch of open road

An open stretch road open in front of your car till your eyes can see and Kishore Kumar playing in the car stereo – cannot imagine life getting better than that. Even without the music, the gray of the gently undulating road and the green on both sides (or sometimes red or brownish yellow – depending on the terrain) – feast for eyes. Or at night on a free empty road, the world gets so small and is within the light from your car’s headlights. I can’t really say why I love this. It is the most liberating feeling. It is not always the speed, in fact it is almost never the speed. I think it is the anticipation. I don’t really know what it is, but a drive on long open stretches of road is one of the best things in life. The roadside is also almost always wildly fascinating in India but I think that is one more topic to be savored for later.

Today is May 8. My weight this Saturday is 169 lb.

Goal #1 - 165 lb
Goal #2 - 155 lb
Goal #3 - 147 lb
Goal #4 - 138 lb
Goal #5 - 130 lb
Goal #6 - 120 lb

Then I would have 6 weeks there

Plan for first 3 weeks

1. Drink 2+ liters of water
2. Sleep 7 hours
3. Have low fat dairy
4. No carb at night
5. Stick to planned meals - low carb, more protein, more veggies, some fruit
6. Work out 3-5 times a week
7. Work on de-stressing
8. Blog everyday with a status

I am 4 lbs away from my first goal. Would like to meet that before going to UK. In UK, I would love to lose weight but would be okay to maintain.

Every Saturday I will rate myself to see how I did on my plan and may tweak the plan a bit. Also will weigh on Saturday.

Would need a new plan once outside Mumbai. Because not sure if I will be able to cook. Almos every weekend I will be out. Hopefully won’t be too stressed. I think I will play the first week by ear and make as healthy choices as possible. After that I should be able to make a plan. Do want to work out when there - 3-4 times a week. Else workout DVDs or walking.I think I will have to give running outside gym a chance. Because for only walking to have any effect - I would need to walk for like 4 hours. I know loads of folks lose weight only by walking. I feel that they either do a tremendous job on their dieting or they are at the beginning of their weight loss journey. I feel walking won’t cut it for me. Running should - as I hate it.

I need to work on de-stressing. Mr. V would be here and he would be screwing my happiness periodically. That can’t be helped. To be fair - he also can’t help it. He is also caught in a bad situation and he can’t go against his nature. My boss has caused this situation. Most likely he didn’t have a choice too. He often seems to favour me. Maybe I am mis-reading the situation, but it does seem so. So the key to the whole thing for me is to hang on to my sanity. I cannot come across as an unbalanced negative person. They will shake their heads and say “she is good but cannot handle a little difficulty”. The work is really so much that a little split would only help me. I think the only thing that is bothering me is that V would like to take away some of my current team. I don’t want that. I love my team and it physically hurts to think that I have to do without some of the good guys. My boss has sort of agreed that it wouldn’t be fair to give away my hard work on a platter. But that meeting is yet to happen. I am not quite sure I would be able to win that battle. I hope to. Anyways whatever happens I should be okay. I will try my best to keep all the good performers to my side. Then I will have to move on and make the best of it. Actually the hardest part is there cannot be moving on. Both V and my then-ex-team-members would be around and my peace would keep on getting disturbed. But that really is whining too much, isn’t it? I mean I must have that much toughness and detachment to be able to deal with it. It’s not for me to run the whole world - I mean the tiny piece of the world at work which has like 15 people in it. I need to read some good books on chilling out and inceasing mental toughness. And focus on weight loss and some other long pending personal projects. Things will be okay. If they are not okay, I will still live and happily too. I am going to work my 11 hours a day and what I can do within that is good, what I can’t I am not going to worry too much. I will work on devising ways to delegate and make things more efficient but I am not going to brood over it.

I am already feeling a lot better after writing all that down. I think I will spend some time everyday to blog to clear my head.

Love you all ladies. Hope you are doing well on your quest to good health and happiness. My best wishes are with you.

I am in with Round’s spring focus challenge. I do plan to focus a bit more on my weight loss. Things have drifted a bit. I am still positive that I will make it. I will make my goals this weekend.

I called in sick today. The stress and crazy schedule of the last few weeks have caught up. More so the stress of Mr. V. Most of the times I feel I have made my peace with the situation. Then it keeps hitting me again and again. I know I will be okay. But for now I am immensely tired and quite dispirited. Reading loads. The obsession with google reader continues.

I need to gather my wits a bit to continue. Hope that will happen this weekend.