song of the road

Don’t know how I got in here today. Well, actually I was trying to go through the unread mails on my yahoo mailbox. Then I tried some more sorting and was moving mails to in to folders etc. And there was a huge bunch of mails/comments from here. Nostalgia hit like a big wave. I was suddenly so sad. I was sure my blog was gone. I just came to the site. Looked up Miss Ruby’s site and started reading some of her more recent posts. Staggered by how much has happened. Then while trying to leave a comment, I had to log in. And that led to resetting the password and the finding out that the blog is still there to take a post.

I plan to read a few more posts and look up some of my old friends.

I don’t know if I would actually write regularly again. Guess I should. Lately I was feeling the urge a bit again.

Just in case, any of you come this way and more for myself really, let’s try a re-cap of the last year. Life is a bit better. Definitely better than when I was falling apart over R. The new job is good. Very time consuming. My whole life is work. No work life balance. Conventionally speaking no life at all. Guess I am setting myself up for longer term unhappiness by spending my more productive years at work (did you manage to hear my mom here?). Well the lady has mellowed down a bit and has after a lot of trouble given up on getting me married. Life with brother and sis-in-law good.

Bro has stopped working at his regular job. Trying out trading from home. Poor guy is really working hard at it and would say have started with small successes. He does have it in him to be successful. So dad’s inheritance is building him another career. Much better than his last job and quite a few ones before that. Meanwhile we are running on my and SIL’s salaries. Things are a bit tight. They bought an SUV last year. The loan for that is on. Have a big rent to pay. SIL has responsibilities of her own parents. Must say she is being very sporty and supportive of it all. I need to still work on liking her more. I do like her. But she is yet to be a sister, I guess. Or maybe I am over-bothering. We get along well and never fight and I give both of them as much space as I can or at least I try very hard. I don’t think they lack privacy too badly. Mom runs the home for most part. That makes life easier for all of us. Still there is some rivalry going on between her and me, I guess. It is unnatural for me to be here. But that’s how it is and everyone is as happy as can be reasonably expected. My living separately will not help anyone much. Apart from the fact that the money I do make does help.

How I ramble on. So back to me. Gained back all the weight and much more. Had been going to a gym on and off for last year. It has been no use. The trainer was not a patch on S. I have gained weight. Had joined a new gym near home. That’s not working out too well either. The new plan is to start from home at 7. That would mean getting up at 6. Reach work by 8. The commute in Mumbai is a bit insane. Anyway work till 7 in the evening. Leave office at 7 no matter what, at least 3 days a week. Hit a gym near work. Should be done by 9. Reach home by 10:30 at the latest. Sounds bad? Round - if she reads it - would be wincing at the no-social-life plan. Do feel this can be done. This job is good and it feels perhaps I can have a career after all. I have lost a lot of years in work where I did gain some experience but not as much as I should have been because I was bogged down with personal problems. Now I want to make up for it. Also it does feel good to be able to see my confidence and capability grow. However health is not been doing so great. The last year been insanely busy at work.

Trying to eat well. Succeeding some and not. Food choices are mostly good. Eating some fruits. Some vegetables. Still eating late in the night. Not missing meals too much. The stress at work is quite high. Have gained quite an amount of grey hair. And a good haircut a couple of times now - one of many good things of living in Mumbai.

Still almost nothing done on my last personal plan - adopting a baby. I am plain scared of taking that step I suppose. The current excuse is that I want to have my career. Time is running out. I need to fit this in somewhere. Can’t see that happening soon.

So that is all. Need to work again on losing weight - more than ever. And did I mention that I am planning to start that by giving me a month’s break. Then I start fresh (hopefully). Working out is so hard. But I must - if not for weight loss at least for a modicum of good health.

It’s 2 am here. There is some strange noise outside. Mumbai is a bit of a strange city. It’s Holi tomorrow. A bank holiday. Holi is the Festival of Colours. It is celebrated by people throwing coloured powder and coloured water at each other. Bonfires are lit the day before. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holi). The TV is full of programs and music celebrating this. Meanwhile there was a world cup hockey match (most probably 1st round or something equivalent) that India won. And I watched Sherlock Holmes today. I know I catch everything long afterwards. Liked it immensely.

Lots of love to all of you.