song of the road

Well, the deed is done. I have resigned. I will be here till 31st August. Also I will work 2 days a week from home and the rest 3 days I would come to work. Feeling a little odd. I am scared, sad and also a little high. Don’t really know what the future holds. Brother sounded very supportive on phone. Hope staying with them will work out (By the way, I was so pleasantly surprised with your support on this staying together idea. I was expecting you to be skeptical. It is such an Indian concept and even I am scared a bit. I will work hard to let them have a lot of space but still.)

I told JB (my boss) that the failed relationship with R is the reason for my quitting. He said he had an inkiling but thought it wasn’t so serious. I guess I will tell my team mates too. Hopefully it would bring R down from his false Mr. Ideals image. I know it is a bit pathetic. but whatever. Very soon I would not think about him much and then will only remember the good times once in a very long while. Already I dont think much about him but his presence itself saps me out. JB was surprised and to his credit looked sad.

Thank you sooo much for the support and love. After seeing your comments, I did rethink a bit. I want motherhood more than a business right now. So catering - maybe later. I want to be a mom before I grow too old and even more self-centered.

Joy, thank you so much for the encouraging words. I will write to you for information and support. Also I will need all of your wisodm and support, as adopted or biological, I guess raising kids must be a lot same all over the world. I am quite scared.

Now that these two months are settled, I will start working on wrapping up the establishment from here. There is much to do. Meanwhile I will contact adoption agencies to get in touch with adoption support groups here. I am a little worried about how the administrative angles work for a child of a single mother with no father’s name available at all. I don’t know how evolved India is in this regard. I had the good luck and luxury of two life size and always there parents.

Writing it all down here settled much of the jitters. We had a hindi song starting with an apparently spanish phrase “que sera sera” which I think means “we will see what happens”. That’s what I think now. Though that attitude had got me here. But still I think it is okay to do what you think is the most right thing to do at that moment.

I was watching youtube a lot yesterday. I saw some weightloss inspiration videos. They are quite good really. I am going to pick the neglected weightloss front now. I am planning to watch these videos at times to encourage me. Do any of you post there? I would be too happy to see you. I need to fix my eat-whatever-you-want-as-much-as-you-can attitude and must must must exercise.

I hope all our hopes and dreams and aspirations come true and more than that let us all find happiness and peace. Lots of love to you all.