Comments on: Settling Down… http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/ A woman looking for herself Fri, 25 May 2012 00:45:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: tjnorth http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/#comment-362 tjnorth Mon, 28 Apr 2008 07:17:36 +0000 http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/#comment-362 i know how hard it is to make decisions for your own life that are so different from the ones your parents want for you. I have a perspective now from both the daughter and mother side...I know that my life choices have NOT been what my parents wanted for me, and I am dealing with my adult sons making choices that I don't like but have to support for them. Aaah. It is so hard both ways. The important thing, I think, is to keep trying to stay true to yourself. You are the one living your life, after all. And every day, you have to look yourself in the mirror....make the choices that matter to you. Trust what your parents have taught you, I think that is important, but you also have to filter it through your own view,hopes, beliefs....good luck. I only know you through this blog, but I trust your good sense and self-knowledge. i know how hard it is to make decisions for your own life that are so different from the ones your parents want for you. I have a perspective now from both the daughter and mother side…I know that my life choices have NOT been what my parents wanted for me, and I am dealing with my adult sons making choices that I don’t like but have to support for them. Aaah. It is so hard both ways. The important thing, I think, is to keep trying to stay true to yourself. You are the one living your life, after all. And every day, you have to look yourself in the mirror….make the choices that matter to you. Trust what your parents have taught you, I think that is important, but you also have to filter it through your own view,hopes, beliefs….good luck. I only know you through this blog, but I trust your good sense and self-knowledge.

]]> By: anngirl http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/#comment-361 anngirl Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:00:37 +0000 http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/#comment-361 Glad you're really clearing the air with your Mom. It's really hard when you come from a culture that basically prides itself on unconditional obedience to ones parents. I know that when I finally called my mom out on a few things it was a mixture of anger & shame. But it helped my relationship with her. It made her realize that what she was doing out of kindness was really making me insane. So good for that and soon the anger will dissipate and you'll be able to communicate without the pressure of fury. It's like being an infant and finding your voice. In the beginning its hard but it gets easier and more sophisticated. Sad. I'm going to raise my children to be able to speak freely with respect and not anger. Or at least I'm going to do my best to try. Sounds like you're running your own show now Ini. Good for you. We all stumble sometimes but the good grounding our parents gave us helps us a lot when we're able to use it. Again good girl - be good to yourself and treasure yourself. xoxoxoxooxox Glad you’re really clearing the air with your Mom. It’s really hard when you come from a culture that basically prides itself on unconditional obedience to ones parents. I know that when I finally called my mom out on a few things it was a mixture of anger & shame. But it helped my relationship with her. It made her realize that what she was doing out of kindness was really making me insane.

So good for that and soon the anger will dissipate and you’ll be able to communicate without the pressure of fury. It’s like being an infant and finding your voice. In the beginning its hard but it gets easier and more sophisticated.

Sad. I’m going to raise my children to be able to speak freely with respect and not anger. Or at least I’m going to do my best to try.

Sounds like you’re running your own show now Ini. Good for you. We all stumble sometimes but the good grounding our parents gave us helps us a lot when we’re able to use it.

Again good girl - be good to yourself and treasure yourself.

xoxoxoxooxox

]]> By: ellabella http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/#comment-360 ellabella Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:59:44 +0000 http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/#comment-360 So glad to see you, Ini !!! Ah. Mothers and daughters. We (mothers) want for them (our daughters) an easier, better life than we had. However, if we believe that each of us is here in the world to fulfill our OWN, specific purpose, we mothers need at some point to let go, to focus on our own purpose, and allow our daughters the freedom to find and achieve theirs the best way they can, and free them to learn from the choices they make - not the ones WE make. Your mother loves you very much, and is doing what she believes to be in your best interests, Ini my dear. I'm afraid that it really IS going to be up to you to choose for yourself, and be firm about those choices without being angry. I think that simply remaining calm, but remaining firm rather than responding to mother emotionally will eventually help HER to calm down and let you pursue what's right for you. Hugs, dear one, Z So glad to see you, Ini !!! Ah. Mothers and daughters. We (mothers) want for them (our daughters) an easier, better life than we had. However, if we believe that each of us is here in the world to fulfill our OWN, specific purpose, we mothers need at some point to let go, to focus on our own purpose, and allow our daughters the freedom to find and achieve theirs the best way they can, and free them to learn from the choices they make - not the ones WE make. Your mother loves you very much, and is doing what she believes to be in your best interests, Ini my dear. I’m afraid that it really IS going to be up to you to choose for yourself, and be firm about those choices without being angry. I think that simply remaining calm, but remaining firm rather than responding to mother emotionally will eventually help HER to calm down and let you pursue what’s right for you.
Hugs, dear one,
Z

]]> By: rubyjean http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/#comment-359 rubyjean Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:16:44 +0000 http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/iniya/2008/04/27/settling-down/#comment-359 Good, thoughtful post, Ini. You are very honest with yourself. You are growing, I think. Good eating, too. Take Care.....Love, Ruby Good, thoughtful post, Ini. You are very honest with yourself. You are growing, I think.
Good eating, too.
Take Care…..Love, Ruby

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