Thank You!!!
This is later. Only a minute to midnight. I couldn’t sleep. Thank God, I logged in here.
Ella, Ruby, everyone, thank you thank you so much. I agree with all my heart. I will be okay. Like a stupid I called him once a little while back and I cried. That was stupid but I am done. No more crying.
It has been my fault. It was my mistake in judging people. I will get away from him. But I will have to live with myself. I am afraid of myself now. But still I know I will live. I love life too much. I was shaking for half an hour when I heard that. I left office earlier. But I was so happy only a couple of hours later, when the microwave oven showed up. 
I called bro and I could hear own my voice bubbling. So if a microwave can make me forget, I am sure time can too.
I cannot expect good things to come out of stupid actions. It doesn’t happen and will not happen. So here goes S too. Good alarm at right time. I will pay for this mistake with my pain and hope like hell that I don’t make another mistake, not soon anyway.
I am going to work out and eat well and try to meditate. I drink coffee in office now, Ella. I am going to be well. I am going to be responsible for my actions and try not to be stupid any more. I know I will falter badly. Please hold my hand then or push me to the right path.
I can’t tell my mom this. She will be hurt much more than I am. I will eventually tell my bro. He would be less angry than mom, but it will break his heart to see me like this. I don’t want them to feel pity for me. Okay, I have made a bad and time consuming mistake. But I am not that unhappy. They need not be too.
I will try very very hard now. I know you are with me. I need you a while longer. I need you forever.
anngirl said,
December 28, 2007 @ 12:17 am
Oh Iniya - I’m sorry. I hate to see you suffering. Girl, this door has closed so that another will open for you. It’s there and once you’ve passed this painful moment - it will be apparent to you. Invariably you will feel that the right thing happened so that you can have happiness in your life. But I know how much it totally sucks while you’re waiting for the wound to heal.
Treat yourself extra well Iniya - stop chastising yourself and remember that it’s the love that we are capable that make us such extraordinary women. Now we just need to give that love to someone who is truly worthy of us.
Be tender to yourself right now, you’ve been dealt a very painful blow. DO NOT kick yourself while you’re down. Give yourself some love and compassion. We would do that for any stranger
Keep posting iniya - we are all here to support you and give you love. The New Year brings us much promise honey - I just know it
Kisses.
rubyjean said,
December 28, 2007 @ 1:31 am
Iniya, you sweet girl, I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to share things with your mom because she will feel too much hurt. I feel that way still today (and have always felt that way) with my mom, too.
You are not alone. Never!
Love, RubyJean