song of the road

Well.. I am at the beginning of another day, yet again.

Start with bad news. I got again very late coming back from office. I was almost on schedule, when an overseas client sent a mail. Poor lady going out of town on business and wanted me to call her so we could work on her request yesterday. It took me a while to get her on phone and by the time I was done, it was quarter to ten. It was raining hard and it look me a while to come home negotiating the traffic build-ups.

Then I called up bro, as I haven’t talked to him for quite long. He had much to share and I had many questions to ask. Half hour flew away. Then food, then book. I went to bed at 1 am. And missed gym again today! I have to pull myself by my ears. This is not on! I just have to be bed by 11, at any cost. It’s just that the long days at work wears me out, I just can’t stop indulging myself by opening a book.

But now is the time when I have to get my health back. I need to lose weight, control my blood sugar, must be able to cope with stress. I can read later. I have already read quite some. I can read on the weekends. The weekdays I need to spend my energy on working out and working. So many people never read, why can’t I not read during the week.

This is my problem. I indulge myself too much. If I feel like eating, I eat. I feel like reading, I read. Even my work at office gets affected so much by my mood. They say “a professional does a good job even when she doesn’t feel like it”. I can hardly ever do a good job, when I am not feeling like it. Fortunately I like my work and my co-workers most of the time. But the world is not going to be all lovey-dovey, harmonious all the time. I am old, I should have learned to cope by now.

Anyway, gym is closed tomorrow for the festival. and Sunday is my off day. So I must be back to gym on Monday. I hope S would be back on Monday. S, please come back. I need your smiling face in my horizon now. It’s amazing. How I grew to depend so much on you! I love my other friends too, but somehow you make my day brighter than most. I just hope this is not another disaster waiting to happen. But anyway, come back. I miss you awfully.

I wish my bro was home now. He is that one person who can cheer me up no matter what! I guess he knows me too well. While ending his call yesterday, he asked not to start on a book. He offered to call up and check on that again. He knew exactly what I was going to do. I miss him. His wicked laugh. His hearty laugh. The long talks. His taking my side always. Sometimes pointing out my faults too. But how I miss his clear headed thinking and just deciding on a plan to attack any problem. Almost instantly he can make every problem look solvable and make me feel hopeful again.

Well, he would be home for a few days on November. We will have a good time then. I will store up on him then. Hope I can be as good to him as he is to me. I love him lots. And in different and scatter brained ways, I am a support for him too. I am, I know.

Just feel like doing this now.

I am happy because

1. I have a good job which I kind of love. I don’t feel bad going to work.
2. My boss is a nice guy and he seems to be ok with my work.
3. I have nice co-workers, some of them very good friends.
4. My work gives me financial stability though I need to save more.
5. I have a boyfriend who may not be able to marry me but seem to love me and generally is there for me. (I do not appreciate him enough. I need to work on that)
6. I have a super cool personal trainer who I like very much indeed and have a very good rapport going on. (I think so).
7. My mom seems to be peaceful about me nowadays and not so worried all the time.
8. I can look after her and can make her happy with such small things (Oh! I got her those books yesterday).
9. I have my love for books which should keep me happy forever in all kind of difficult situations
10. I can simply make up things and dream about them and forget reality most of the time. (good thing??)
11. I can cook reasonably well.
12. Ouch! Now I remember my brother! So bad of me! Anyway so I have the best bro in the world who I know is always there for me and is super fun.
13. I think I am good at my job
14. I lost 5 kg weight and most likely will lose more.
15. I have my love for all kind of unrelated knowledge and fun to be found on internet.
16. I can simply keep on reading about recipes.
17. I am feeling much healthier these days. Have lots more energy.
18. Exercising makes me confident and less depressed.

Well… time to hit work! I am feeling much better. I am sure the list can be longer. I will perhaps add to it later. Make another list of the small things that make me happy like the big open terrace in front of my apartment!

Everybody have a great day! Ruby Jean, you are amazing. Thanks for all your support. I wish I had known you in person. I think you are like another multi-talented person I love lots. Well, that’s another day to talk about.