New decade

Posted by incontrol2day on November 20th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 4 Comments

 I love Dakota Fanning and I cannot wait to see her in New Moon this weekend. I’m a fan of the books but not into the crazy hype surrounding them at the moment. It’s really overkill and annoying. People need to back away from the vampires and leave them in peace ..lol… Nothing like a movie filled with attractive people to motivate you to get your butt into gear.

Well I stepped on the scale today and it read 169 lbs!! I think I’m in a new decade but TOM is in 3-4 days so I’m not ready to leave my 170s thread yet on the forums. I plan to be in the 150s by 2010. FULL SPEED AHEAD! I’ve been eating 1250 calories a day (max) and exercising 1-2 hours in the gym.

I summoned up the courage to ask my sister what she does for exercise in NYC. It’s hard asking my 115 lb sister what she does to stay in shape. For all I know she’d respond “I dont exercise” and make me want to strangle her. LOL. But she texted back and said she had a gym in her apartment. I am so relieved. She has to work certain days I am there so I can definitely spend 1-2 hours in the gym most days I am there.

I actually have a really good relationship with my sister who is only 18 months younger than me. It isn’t her fault other people compare the two of us. She never flaunted her skinny-ness. When my aunt told her she was the ‘prettiest’ in the extended family, my sister replied “Grace is prettier” (me). In which my aunt replied “But she’s fat.” My aunt is actually very self-conscious about her own looks and growing old. She got a face lift and almost scared my younger brother to death. My dad is a doctor so my family visited her in the hospital and took care of her when she was healing from the surgery. Imagine eyebrows on your forehead and a tube connected to your head leading to a bag of blood from your head. My younger brother who was probably 6. She has a lot of personal demons to deal with. She recently got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is on medication. The sad part is her own family denied that she has issues. My dad and his siblings had to intervene and force the family to take her to get medical help. My dad was very angry with my older cousins who are both medical doctors but thought their mother was just being a drama queen. I feel sorry for her.

~~~

I just want to take the time to thank everyone for their lovely comments. I also read everyone’s blogs and can relate to so many things. When I can’t relate, I try to empathize and put myself in their shoes. I am SO happy to have found 3FC. It definitely helped my progress in a positive way!

Just around the corner!

Posted by incontrol2day on November 19th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 6 Comments

 It’s amazing how fast time flies. I started this journey October 5th and I’m in the middle of my seventh week already! Overall I’m really pleased with how far I’ve come. My Thanksgiving/NYC trip is JUST around the corner and it’s really motivating me to work harder this week.

I really hope to reach my November goal of 169. My weight seems to be fluctuating around 169.5-170.5 all week. I’ve kept my calories at 1200 (max 1250) and worked out a LOT. I’ve been reading about ’starvation mode’ but most of the articles say it only sets in if you are eating -50% of your needed BMR. I might have been doing that because of my increased exercise duration and intensity. That along with TOM next week has me worried about my weight. I think I’m on the right track though. We shall see. I will increase my calories to 1300 end of this week if my weight stops going down.

Changes I have Noticed
* I can fit into my jeans again (muffintop but in time it will disappear)
* I have A LOT more energy
* I care more about my image/personal grooming
* I cook a lot more now
* I am proud of myself
* I am talking to my friends and family again.
* I have better endurance for exercise
* I am more in tune with my needs
* I spend 1on1 time with my food (no distractions)

I read somewhere that it takes 21 days for behaviors to become habits. I’m happy to say that counting calories, exercising, blogging, forum-ing have all become routine for me. It doesn’t feel like a daunting challenge but normal.

Since it’s the end of November (almost) I need to revisit some of my November goals.
- Lose 2 lbs per week
- Stay within calorie limits every day
- Allow myself to be human
- Exercise at least 30 min a day if not more
- Drink 8 glasses of water every day
- Not be a scale junkie
- Learn 10 new healthy recipes
- Stay positive
- Love myself and people around me
- Take weekly progress pictures in same swimsuit
- Be confident when I visit sister during Thanksgiving
- Improve my mile time on treadmill
- Read 3 new books

EdIT: MY SISTER JUST GAVE ME THE BEST NEWS EVER. Her apartment has a GYM in it which means I’ll be packing my gym clothes to NYC. I am so relieved. I can definitely exercise every day then. X’mas came early this year!

Wheels are Turning

Posted by incontrol2day on November 18th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 6 Comments

 SPOILER LOL. Anyone who watched The Biggest Loser yesterday would have loved the makeover episode!! I’m really looking forward to watching next wednesday’s “where are they now” special about who kept it off and who gained A LOT back. EXCITING :D. Rebecca looks AMAZING and SO INSPIRING. She was who I was rooting for and now I don’t know if I even want to watch the show. Rudy is my LEAST fav right now besides the obvious LIZ. He gave this BS answer why he voted for Rebecca but to be honest I think they should just be honest… he’s looking out for HIMSELF. Rebecca is RARELY on the bottom and Liz has been on the bottom like 3 times. It’s his chance to get rid of a big competitor. He can always get Liz out later. Ugh. Did I mention she looked amazing :D. At the moment, Allen seems the most down-to-earth and keeps to himself. I wonder who he voted for…. they didn’t need to show it but honestly I want to peak under that cover LOL. Who are you hoping WINS?

I stepped on the scale today and it read 169.5 BUT I won’t join the 160s thread until it’s more stable. I’ll officially join after my NYC trip.. who knows what damage I’ll do there + it’s TOM. But I know if I know I’m barely under 170 I will fight tooth and nail to stay under.

If the scale is correct, I’ve lost 20 lbs since 10/5! I only hope the rest of my journey is this smooth. All I know that I don’t regret a single day I said NO to ice cream, IGNORED the junk food, STOPPED eating out, MOVED my ass to the gym…

So far this week, Monday and Tuesday have been GREAT workout and food wise. I’m bumping up my exercise this week because of my trip to NYC and TOM next week. (within reason of course). I have a plan for NYC for my activity. I KNOW my sister has to have stairs in her apartment complex so I plan on going up and down the stairs 30 min a day minimum LOL. I’ll also do a lot of walking in NYC and pilates in the apartment. I will be bringing gym clothes so I don’t have ANY excuses not to move.

Hope to be -168 by Monday if not more! Totally psyched to be in a new decade but not going to settle for that of course.. I will be moving along to 150.. then 140.. then 130… one day at a time!

Hope everyone else is having a fabulous week!

Biggest Loser TONIGHT

Posted by incontrol2day on November 17th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 5 Comments

 It’s makeover day today on the Biggest Loser.. I AM SO EXCITED to see the transformations. This also prompted me to think of my own makeover in the future when I make it to “maintenance”.. I can’t wait to get there. My dad actually made me a promise when I was in high school that if I became “skinny” he would buy me a whole new wardrobe. It’s time to collect a long overdue promise. I love shopping. I’ve been browsing different websites and things saving pictures of “dream outfits” I hope to wear in the future and look amazing. I’ve always been stylish but now my outfits won’t be limited to certain things. I want to be the one who people say could wear a burlap bag and still be gorgeous. haha

Another milestone yesterday, I managed to wear all my size 10 S jeans from express LOL. I have a muffintop (ew) BUT the jeans go over my thighs and zip up. I know on Halloween I could only zip up 1 pair of jeans so I KNOW my body is changing before my eyes. I’m really excited to get a move on. I’ve only been doing this for 6 weeks and already I see huge changes. Not only do I feel more comfortable in my clothes, I also FEEL a lot more active, healthy and happy.

I had such a great food day yesterday. I felt like I had SO many calories left to eat and felt so satisfied. It’s great when you can cook/plan/consume your own food. You end up feeling less guilty, full, and happy. When I ate out those few days last week, I was both physically and mentally weighed down with thoughts of self-loathing and sluggishness. I’m so much more invigorated when I’m eating my own prepared food. For lunch I had a YUMMY turkey/tomato/whole wheat pasta and felt so satisfied for hours. I measured out the pasta and I had 1 cup of whole wheat spaghetti. I finally made my fiber requirement yesterday.

One chilli’s cheesecake is 700 calories and there is NO way I  could have felt as happy, satiated, full from my lunch yesterday which was only (~400 calories) compared to a 700 calorie cheesecake. This is what they mean by empty calories I guess. You don’t feel full yet you have reached your max calories.

I feel the onset of TOM. It is scheduled to come the day I go to NYC lol. It’s kind of nice because I know during TOM I can’t do TOO much exercise anyway so I won’t feel as guilty and agitated when I’m away from my gym and comfort. I know I can still do pilates in the comfort of my sister’s apartment and other stretches. I’m not sure what other activity I can do in the cold in NYC. I’m going to ask my sister if she has access to a gym. I was planning on walking a lot in NYC and hope that staying warm/staying active will burn some extra calories.

I have breakfast planned in NYC. I will go buy a box of my cheerios and some skim milk for myself. Also, I’ll buy some fresh fruit and yogurt to snack on. I will have to limit myself to 1 nice meal a day and everything else self-plan because I don’t want to feel deprived in NYC because it IS a vacation. I finally booked my flight yesterday for 8 days, 7 nights.

I hope everyone else is having a fabulous start of the week. We have 1 week until THANKSGIVING so I hope everyone meets their goals/challenges.

SO CLOSE ~

Posted by incontrol2day on November 16th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 7 Comments

Today’s weigh in was *drum roll*

170.5 lbs (down 3 lbs since last monday)

I am SO close to being in the 160s I can taste it~ this week for sure. My goal this week is not to eat out and stay on plan (1200 calories) and exercise every day. I have 7 days until I go to NYC and I need to make this week count. I was hoping for 168 lbs by NYC trip so I REFUSE to go lower than that. Today is also picture day in swimsuit. I hope one day I feel confident enough to show everyone the pictures.

Busch Gardens was so fun! I walked leisurely for a good 3-4 hours and enjoyed the rollercoasters and animals~ I really think hippos are so adorable because they are so fat LOL. I wish I could be adorable fat…This was the first time I felt comfortable having my BF take pictures of me and I’m not shying away for a long time. Imagine how confident I’ll be for the next 20 lbs!

Weightloss to date is approx 19 lbs since 10/5/2009! YAY! I’m now on week 7 of my journey and I feel totally psyched. Last week I had a couple of days over 1200 calories at 1400 but I still managed to lose weight. I’m happy for that. I was so scared I would stall my progress.

 I beat my Thanksgiving challenge already (171 lbs before Thanksgiving). I still need to be 169 to get to my mini-goal in the November Weight Loss Challenge. I’m also part of the Va-Va-Voom Valentine’s Challenge and I still have a long time for that.

I finally got my signature for the forums :D so I’m having a lot of fun for that.

I hope everyone else had a wonderful weekend.

Guilt-Ridden Week

Posted by incontrol2day on November 14th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 4 Comments

I haven’t eaten out in 5.5 weeks (minus 2-3 trips to subway for 6″ subs) and this week happens to be the week I do. Half of me craved it .. the other half wanted to see how I would respond to real life situations. I mean, I can’t hide from restaurants forever nor would I want to.

Thursday lunch - Pizza Hut Pizza (2 pepperoni slices which I blotted with paper towels and cut off the crust)

Friday dinner - 1/4 rack of dry-rubbed ribs, 15 chips + salsa, steamed broccoil + carrots, 3 of my bf’s fries + ketchup

Verdict? I am completly disgusted with myself for eating that junk. I don’t know why I’m beating myself up for it. I am well under the calorie allotment. Thursday ~1250, Friday ~1350… I worked out minimum 60 min those days and pushed myself to the max. I drank SO much water I felt like I was chugging it because I was scared of the sodium content.

I don’t think I’m ready for restaurants yet. They drive me insane. On top of that, I haven’t been able to log on or look at 3fc blogs/forums so it’s so HARD to feel like you are doing this on your own.

I think for now I’m going to stick to preparing my own food. I feel so much calmer knowing what i’m putting into my food. Also, I felt lethargic after the pizza on thursday when I was at the gym. It was 450 calories but junk calories so barely had any energy in the gym. I still jogged at 4.6 mph for 40 min pushing through my lack of energy. I kept saying my head “if you think you can eat pizza ..then you better run your ASS off right now”…  I feel so much better eating healthy foods… I have so much more energy for stuff when I’m not eating junk.

The nice thing is that I did the scale dance all week and it SEEMs like i’m still losing through all of these tests. We won’t know until official weigh-in Monday. A part of me expects a bad bite to equal a HUGE jump in the scale… I feel like it’s going to come back and bite me in the tush… We will see..

I’m driving myself crazy ~_~ I hope everyone else is having a good week so far.

Pizza Hut

Posted by incontrol2day on November 12th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 6 Comments

I had a great unofficial weigh in today of 171.5~ (monday 173.5). I had to weigh myself to send in my #s in my Gobble Gobble challenge to lose  a certain # before Thanksgiving. My original goal was 171 before Thanksgiving (started challenge 11/1 at 179) but it seems I MIGHT beat my original goal. Awesome. We will see though lol I don’t want to get too comfortable and lose control.

One random day in September I weighed in at 191.5 lbs so I have officially lost 20 lbs since then~ YAY

My bf and I were in bed yesterday talking about cravings and for some reason both of us are craving pizza. We’re going to try to work it into our diet one of these lunches lol. I don’t care about the crust… I care more about toppings while my BF LOVES Stuffed-Crust Pizzas. I googled it and 1 large slice of pepperoni stuffed crust pizza is ~380 calories which isn’t bad but 50% is fat LOL with 8g saturated fat… I’m planning on physically going to Pizza Hut and going to the lunch buffet so I don’t have to order the entire Pizza but limit myself to 1-2 slices at most. I care more about toppings than I do about the crust. We will see though because I like seeing the scale move down not up. My bf seems to really want it though.

My bf has such a huge calorie allowance per day even at rest. His is at 1900 calories at rest while I have 1147 calories if I’m sedentary. I have to keep that in mind when I prepare his meals because if he ate what I ate exactly.. he’ll be starving at night and snack on something bad. He’s actually at 218 lbs today lol so he lost 2 lbs since Monday. Good to know we’re both on the right track. He’s amazed I allow myself 1200-1250 calories ever day without hesitation. I’m not hungry though…surprisingly sometimes I get full by 1100 but I try to snack on something healthy like veggies sticks or fruit to get my total to 1200. I don’t want to go too low.

I actually do 1-2 hours of exercise  a day (60 min in gym the rest is pilates and hula hooping). I also try to do 1 hr of cleaning a day if not more to keep me on my toes. I have so much energy at the gym though because I always eat a light snack before I go to the gym like fruit, 1 PBJ thinwich.. etc… so I’m not starving myself.. if anything I feel so healthy and energized because I’m not weighed down by the junk I used to gorge myself with.

 I can’t wait to be in the 160s decade and kiss 170s goodbye forever.

49 days until 2010~ making it count! We can do this ladies :D

EDIT::::::::::::::::::::

I ordered a large stuffed crust pizza with pepperoni. Before I even let my BF touch the pizza I took 4-5 pieces of paper towels and kept blotting the pizza trying to suck up as much additional oil as possible. lol It was pretty gross but satisfying how much I got rid of by the time I was done. I ate 2 slices and cut off the stuffed crust so 2 triangles. ~450 calories. It’s hard to imagine before I used to eat 4-5 slices, wings, breadsticks + diet pepsi LOL. Now I’m full after 2 slices minus the stuffed crust. I felt huge guilt after eating the pizza though and drank probably  8 glasses of water within 1-2 hours after eating the pizza.

 My bf was like “it’s just 2 slices”… whereas I’m staring at the mirror, gulping down water… waiting to see all the weight I lost in the last weeks suddenly reappear again.

Surprisingly I’m not used to eating salty foods as much anymore so the salt in the pizza was so much more poignant than normal. I hope this doesn’t effect the rest of the weeks weigh in. For a craving, I felt satisfied and I think I kept it in control. I’m not sure though. ARGH I hate this guilt after eating situation.

Emotional Well-being~

Posted by incontrol2day on November 11th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 6 Comments

Happy Veteran’s Day! Thank you to all the men and women who keep our country safe.

Starting off with Biggest Loser reflection.. (Warning: spoiler alert)…. I did NOT see the curveball they threw the contestants this week… 2 got sent home… WHATT O_O?!??!… I really hoped it was Liz because she seems like such a negative energy brewing in the house. I’m trying to sympathetic with all of them considering the hours they put in and the amount they get to eat.. they must be cranky to the max BUT some people still manage to stay human. They all say “I’ve only thought of other people this whole time so this time I’m looking out for myself”… I guess it’s because I’m not a mother or sole provider of any kind so I don’t have that additional stress so I can’t relate to the older contestants who have had A LOT on their plate. I can’t imagine how I would be doing as of now if I had to take care of kids.

So kudos to all the ladies ( and gents) who are losing weight AND carrying huge family responsibility. Seriously inspiring.

I got to 200 lbs one year not because I put other people before my own needs… but because I had my own personal demons to deal with. I shut people out. I made other people’s lives miserable who tried to help me. I felt pity, self-hatred, digust, victimized when I was at my highest weight. If anything, I think I was  the MOST selfish during this time. I could barely take care of myself much less worry about other people. I remember making my boyfriend miserable for months, shutting him out, refusing to leave the apartment… now that I’m taking better care of myself.. I feel a lot more connected to other people and want to interact again.

I fit in 1/2 cup of vanilla ice cream into my diet yesterday (140 calories) but as I was running on the treadmill I was thinking…  I don’t really crave ice cream so why am I eating it? I crossed it off my journal and substituted it with some cheerios and skim milk. lol I didn’t feel deprived.. I felt in control.

I live in Florida so we’re experiencing some cloudy/rainy water due to the hurricane but nothing drastic. Hope everyone else stays safe.

I had a NSV yesterday at the gym. I managed to run 30 min at 5.0 mph, 5 min at 5.5 mph, and 5 min at 4.5 mph. This is the longest and fastest I’ve ran since I began. It’s hard to imagine that mid-September I couldn’t jog for more than 4-5 min without being out of breath and have to walk the reaminder of the time. Even my walking speed has increased from 3.3 mph –> 3.8 mph and I’m totally comfortable. It’s nice to know that my endurance and strength is increasing. I hit the gym every day for 60 minutes+.

Every magazine, tv show I’ve read says that exercise is 10-20% and diet/nutrition is 80-90% for weight loss. I’m trying to focus on both.

Happy hump day everyone!

EDIT: Thank you LindaT for reminding me there are 50 days left until 2010. This helps me put into perspective how hard I want to work for the remainder of the year!!!!!! Let’s make the end of 2009 COUNT@@@@

Believe

Posted by incontrol2day on November 10th, 2009 |Filed Under General | 10 Comments

I went to the gym yesterday without my BF in the morning. I went again to the gym in the afternoon but because I wore myself out in the morning I focused on strength training and walking at different inclines while I waited with my BF. Because I wasn’t going hardcore in the afternoon, my bf lost motivation after 30 minutes. lol. At least his food is back under my control. He’s actually coming home for lunch today since his work is only 5 minute drive from the apartment.

I was slightly down yesterday because I couldn’t see a difference. I have to constantly remind myself that I’ve been at this for 5 weeks and this is a LIFESTYLE change. Losing 16 lbs in 5 weeks is tremendous and I should not feel down for what I’ve accomplished. I made an excel spreadsheet LOL to document how I’m doing and I have 30% done … so 70% left to do … that seems a bit less daunting when I put it into perspective #s wise. 191.5 –>173.5 lbs in 5 weeks.

I made a collage on photoshop of the different swimsuit pictures during these 3-4 weeks I’ve been taking pictures. I’m kindof sad I didnt take it when I was at my peak so I only have swimsuit pix starting from 184.5 haha but I can see a difference. My face is less round, stomach a little flatter and overall not as “thick”. Hope to see more in a month or so =)

Thank you for your lovely comments and encouragement. I know I love reading everyone’s blogs and feeling inspired. Reading other people’s real life issues really puts my own petty issues in perspective. I hope everyone else is feeling inspired and staying on track because WE ARE WORTH IT!

Sidenote: I think I’ve had my 3fc account for more than 20 days and I have more than 20 posts… why dont I have my signature yet :(. My posts look so empty! lol Hope I get it soon!! i want a pretty ticker :D

Week 6 - Meal Plan

Posted by incontrol2day on November 9th, 2009 |Filed Under Meal Plan | 1 Comment

Monday
Breakfast - 1 egg, 2oz lean pork, 1 thinwich; coffee+skim milk
Snack - banana
Lunch - 4 turkey meatballs, okra with indian spices, 1/2 cup brown rice
Snack 2- 1 cup honey nut cheerios +1/2 cup skim milk
Dinner - sirloin steak, steamed broccoli

Tuesday
Breakfast - 1 wheat tortilla, 1 egg, 2 turkey meatballs, 1 oz pepper jack cheese; coffee+skim milk
Lunch - 4 oz grilled salmon; 1/2 serving zucchini orzo; 1 cup Brussels Sprouts
Dinner- 10 large boiled shrimp; 1/2 tsp cocktail sauce; 1 cup Brussels Sprouts
Snack 1 - 1 cup Honey Nut Cherrios; 1/2 cup Skim Milk

Wednesday
Breakfast - 1 cup honey nut cheerios + 1/2 cup skim milk; coffee+skim milk
Lunch - thai spiced grilled chicken breast; “fried rice” + vegetables
Snack 1 - 1 Dark Chocolate Nugget (Hersey ~47 cal)
Dinner - 3 turkey 1″ meatballs; 1T peanut butter, 1/2T Jam, 1 Thinwich
Snack 2 - 1 apple

Thursday
Breakfast - 2 scrambled eggs, 1 oz fat-free feta, 1 thinwich; coffee+skim milk
Snack - 4 stalks celery
Lunch - 2 slices Pizza Hut Pepperoni Pizza (crustless/oil blotted out)
Dinner - 6 oz pork tenderloin + peppers/onions; 1 cup steamed green beans

Friday
Breakfast - 2 cups of coffee+skim milk
Snack - 1 cup cheerios + 1/2 cup skim milk
Lunch - 1 wheat tortilla + 6 oz pork tenderloin + peppers/onions + 2 T salsa + 1 oz feta
Snack 2- 1 dark chocolate piece (~47 cal)
Dinner - Chilli’s (1/4 dry-rubbed ribs, 3 fries, steamed broccoli/carrots, 15 chips + salsa)

Saturday
Breakfast - 1 cup cheerios + 1/2 cup skim milk
Lunch - 1/4 rack ribs, 8 mini-california rolls + soy/wasabi
Snack 2- 4 mini-california rolls; 1 banana
Dinner - 1 can tuna w/ sauteed baby spinach; 1 T asian dressing; 2 cloves garlic

Sunday
Breakfast - 1 cup cheerios + skim milk; 2 eggs
Snack - banana
Lunch - 3 spareribs, 1 cup french fries + ketchup
Snack 2- 1/4 slice (Chilli’s) cheesecake
Dinner - 1.5 cups steamed green beans


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