Nightmares and Birthday Cake

My son had his 8th birthday party today. For the past 7 years we have had a double birthday party for my son and my Dad since their birthdays are only a few days apart. I named him after my Dad and many people call him “Baby Grandpa” from time to time. Today the party was just for my son. I knew today was going to be hard.

I woke up sobbing this morning. I had this nightmare last night that I had went back in time to see my Dad. Ever see the Craigslist Time Traveler Ad? I had answered this and went back in time and refused to return. I drove to my Dad’s house and was running up the hill to him screaming his name. He was working in the garden and my sister was weeding beside him. I was hugging him and crying and refused to leave his side. For whatever reason my sister does not like to go to my parent’s house. It has always been my favorite place in the world.

I got up crying and started waking up kids to go to the party today. They ate breakfast and I still just couldn’t shake this horrible feeling of loneliness. I woke up my husband, laid in bed and cried on him. He is an awesome guy. He just listens and lets me cry and does his best to comfort me. I think it’s going to be a long road…

I am very happy to say though, that even though I ate hot dogs, ice cream and cake, I stayed within my calories. 🙂 No drowning my sorrow in ice cream and cake.I am very proud of that. I have the My Fitness Pal app on my phone and before we ever left the house I had added the cake & ice cream calories so I knew where I stood calorie wise.

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