why did i wait so long?

Thanksgiving was great! I ate like a prize heffer, LOL. The food was so yummy and I have no regrets.  I am back on plan today.  I wasn’t able to work out today because I didn’t wake up in time to go before I had to come to work.  I am going to work out on sunday and try the spin class again on monday. Im looking forward to it. I just hope I’m not as sore as I was last time :O  I was swiming in compliments from my family, on thursday, about my weight loss.  I love compliments! they make me feel very good, except I get a little embarrassed by all the attention sometimes.  when I came into work tonight again… swormed with compliments :)  I dont feel like I’ve changed much in the last couple weeks, but other people say different.  So im feeling pretty good about that.  I don’t think I’m going to weigh myself for a few days since I know it will be up due to the holiday gorge.  well, hope you all had a wonderful turkey day.

B- fruit smoothie

S- danactive

L- lean cuisine panini

D- lentil soup

S- going to be some brussel sprouts.        and lots of water to cleanse my system.

This is what I had on thanksgiving (just to relive it, lol)

homemade donuts (fried with sugar and cinnamon)

deviled eggs, cheeze its and cheese ball, salad with regular dressing, turkey, pork roast, mashed taters and gravy, stuffing, egg noodles, green bean casserole, a little bit of sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie with cool whip, apple pie,  candie cane,  some turkey skin, sprite.    OMG!!!

 I can not wait to eat tomorrow :D  I know that’s a horrible attitude to have, but DH is cooking a pumpkin pie right now and the wonderful aroma is filling the air with that pumpkin/cinnamon yumminess!  I have already decided that I was going to go ahead and eat what I want on thanksgiving. It will be my Treat meal day for this week, but honestly it will probably be more than a meal ;)  I have worked out all week, and I will work out friday. I will be right back on plan after thanksgiving, so I am totally at peace with my decision.  It would just be pure torture to try to stay on plan tomorrow. Virtually impossible i think.   My only goal is to not eat so much that I am sick or totally uncomfortable. I will also drink all my water.  We aren’t frying a turkey this year like we use to do.  My sister is doing most of the cooking, but I am helping her. honestly I am looking most forward to my cheeseball with cheese its, lol….I know (pathetic)  Cheese its are my fav :) 

I went to fashion bug yesterday just to try on some jeans to see what size I wear now,  I knew I could fit into a 22, but thought I would try a 20.  guess what……they fit :D   a couple size 20’s were slightly tight, but a couple fit very well!! so excited. when I started this i was in a 28, and those were uncomfortable.   so, i ended up buying a size 20….mostly just because i wanted to say I owned a size 20 and they actually fit.  I think I might faint when I can comfortably wear an 18 :)  I’m sure to a lot of people these are still big sizes (and in reality they are) still plus sizes and what not, but to me its SMALL!!  I haven’t been this size in ten years, so it’s all very exciting to me. well, I hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving and for those of you who decide to stay on plan…….I am in complete awe of you. Those of you who decide to enjoy thanksgiving, please dont feel guilty about it as long as you get back on track afterword, there is nothing to be ashamed of.  It’s a holiday for crying out loud!  gobble gobble

B-fruit smoothie

S- 2% cheesestick, danactive

L- baked salmon, broccoli, cauliflower

S- a few peppermint candies

D- 2 hard shell taco’s

I feel so accomplished tonight! we finally got the house cleaned, woo hoo. It feels so nice to have a clean house. I also cleaned out the fridge.  DH helped, so it was nice to do it together.  we also went shoping together today, which is not the norm. it was hectic due to thanksgiving week and all. I hate shoping when its busy. People can be so rude, you just want to scream at them!! 

 My official weigh in day is saturday….but for some reason today i just felt like i was lighter. you ever feel like that? Like I just had a feeling I was going to be happy if I stepped on the scale. For some reason…. getting in the 220’s has been a big deal to me. Maybe because it is the weight I was after I had my 1st child. ( i gained 80lbs with that pregnancy, which is what put me into the obese category) I just kept gaining slowly after that.  but, it’s been almost ten years since i was this “small”.  So, today I weighed 229!!!!!!!! OMG! I felt so happy….just complete joy!  I also fit into a shirt that was too small on me a couple weeks ago. yey!!  It’s like almost every day I am having these small victories that keep me motivated.  I just wish I would have done this years ago. It’s ashame that I had to spend my 20’s being so over weight and unhappy with my self. It’s not like I was an unhappy person. I have a good life, great family, nice career, ect….. but, i know my 20’s would have been so much better if I was healthy and not so obese. oh well…. I will be healthy in my 30’s and for the rest of my life.  The taste of food just is NOT WORTH IT!! you know….Its just not worth the feeling of being fat and unhealthy!  going around every minute of the day feeling sluggish, and sweaty, out of breath, and out of place! Eat to live, not live to eat!!  I am done with those feelings of being “the fat girl”, of being uncomfortable in my own skin. I am done with that shit!!! I just feel too good now to ever go back. Food is not worth it.

I went to the gym tonight and did my upper body and 50 min cardio. It felt great, even tho i’m still sick. (no spin class) maybe next week.

B- low sugar oatmeal with light soy milk and half a banana

S- salad with sunflower seeds and light catalina

S- 2% string cheese stick, danactive

L- small bowl of whole grain spaghetti with no meat sauce

D- rice and beans lean cuisine meal and an orange

well, I feel like my normal self again! still sick, but at least I worked out today.  I walked for almost an hour and then did stretching, abdominals, and leg lifts. I did this at home because my gym closes early on sunday’s and I didn’t get out the door in time.  Oh well, not the most vigorous work out, but still made me feel much better!  Im sort of worried about my right knee. Its been a little tender lately and I am sooooo praying that it doesn’t get worse, and cause major problems. All I need is a knee injury to knock me way off track.  Im sure that my joints are all over worked from carrying all this extra weight around for a decade.  I just couldn’t handle it if my knee became an issue.  

Tomorrow, i really need to clean this house!! Strange because, before my lifestyle change,  my priorities were totally different than they are now. Before (besides my kids and hubby,) my house, and the finances were top priorities in my life.  I was a total clean freak!! my house was cleaned daily! I was also a freak about the finances. I looked at our money situation daily and sort of freaked out about it constantly.  Maybe I just thought….since i had no control over my eating and weight, that I would become obsessive over the things i could control like cleaning, and our money situation. Now, I am so absorbed in my eating, and working out…that my house and the finances are on the back burner.  It’s not like I am a total pig now and live in filth and the bills still get paid, ect….. but, I have to push myself to clean the house, and do the bills. It’s like pulling teeth. before, i use to enjoy it (wierd, i know). It’s just strange how focusing on one thing, makes you forget about others. I really do need to clean tomorrow tho, after thanksgiving, we put up our christmas decorations.  I have to have a clean house to do that. plus, i just feel better when my house is clean. so, that is one main goal for tomorrow while the kids are in school. I am also going to the gym tomorrow. It’s still to be determined weather or not i am going to attempt the spin class again. do i really want to try that this soon? IDK?

B- low sugar oatmeal, with light soy milk and half a banana

L- salad with light catalina, and sunflower seeds, 2% string cheese stick

S- light activia yogurt with ground flax seeds

D- lean cuisine shrimp alfredo dinner with broccoli

(I’ll probably eat something else before bed….maybe an orange, or 100 cal popcorn) 

update: I had a few strawberries, some asparagus and the 100 cal popcorn, now….off to bed

I am CRAVING exercise right now. Its been like 5 days since i’ve worked out!!!!! way too long! the first few days after that spin class was horrible. i felt like i was recovering from surgery.  my legs feel much better now. just a twinge of pain every now and then. Then, of course, i had to get sick!! I HATE being sick!! It keeps me from doing what i need to do.  I still feel sick. I have mucus and my throat still hurts, but i dont care. i am working out tomorrow no matter what. I really need to. I only lost 10 ounces last week. I weigh 230.6.  I really want to be in the 220’s by thanksgiving.   that means I am going to work my ass off sun-wed, and maybe take a walk on thanksgiving morning.  You would think that because I am eating so much healthier and taking vitamins, that i wouldn’t get sick.  It’s just not fair. I just got over having mucus in my chest for like 2 months….and now I am sick again. I am just going to ignore it, and maybe it will go away, lol. I really miss working out tho. It’s kind of crazy when i think about how different my attitude has become about exercise.  I just keep thinking…..30 more lbs until ONEderland! working out is what will get me there faster.  I had my “treat meal” tonight.  It wasn’t bad, but wasn’t good either. I had pizza hut (which i had been craving for a while) the pizza was ok, but the bread sticks were stale :/   all in all, not the best treat meal ever.  I was trying to go without a treat meal this week because I haven’t been working out, but my craving got the best of me. I did good tho, It didn’t turn into a cheat day, and it didn’t turn into a binge. I didn’t eat until i was sick either. so,  Im pretty content with my actions.  I am so ready to get back to exercise tomorrow tho. I cant wait

B- pineapple, and one orange

S- salad with light catalina dressing

L- smart ones, broccoli and potato dish

D- 2 pieces of pizza  and some stale garlic bread, one peanut butter cookie (treat meal)

S- handfull of caramel corn

This sucks! Now on top of my sore legs (which are better, but still sore) I am sick as a dog!  I have a sore throat, headaches, and sinus pressure. I feel like i’ve been hit by a truck!  my kids are all hacking and sniffeling , so im sure i got some horendous bug from them. gotta luv all those school viruses going around.  This has been a lazy week for me. I’ve been doing good with eating and water, but no exercise! i feel like a king SLUG!  I hate using excuses for being sedentary, but there was no way in hell i could have worked out the last few days with my legs throbbing like they were.  I totally screwed myself with that spin class. I just dont think i was ready for that intense work out. I did like the class tho, and will go back to it once i am up to par.  last night i was going to walk and do some strength training, but then i got this headache, and started feeling really sick. so, i called off work tonight….(i really have to be sick to call off work) i haven’t called off in over a year.  my plan for the weekend is to stay on my eating plan and actually eat a little less because im not working out, sleep as much as possible, rest up so i can get back to my routine by monday. I will have to work extra hard next week to make up for this week.  well, that is my plan…… hope i can feel better soon.

update on food:

B- oatmeal with lite soy milk and half a banana

L- fruit smoothie (pineapple, strawberry, banana, and blueberries blended up)

S- salad with lite catalina dressing and sunflower seeds

D- Im going to have grilled shrimp and asparagus

I dont remember the last time I was this sore!!! I mean, i can barely get up off the couch. sitting down on the toilet is like pure torture! That spin class totally kicked my ass yesterday, and boy am i paying for it today!! I’ve had sore muscles before…..but this is rediculous! I could hardly walk today little own go work out…so needless to say today was a no work out day for me. I guess I’ll just have to make up for it this weekend.  I do still want to continue doing the spin class because it is now such a challenge for me. I guess i like a challenge.. who’d have thought?  I just hope my muscles can get use to it pretty quickly. It will definetely help me in this crazy journey of mine.  what a workout! makes me wonder if what i was doing before was enouph?  I think i over did it a little.  It sucks because that one work out, has already made me miss a day. tomorrow i am determine to go work out if it kills me (which it probably will) but, i will take it easy. maybe the treadmill and a little stairmaster if i’m up to it.  its wierd how i did that spin class yesterday, and then tonight on the biggest loser, they had the black team doing a spin class for their last chance workout! did you see colleen? She was going crazy on that bike!  It made my legs cramp up just watching her, lol. I can’t believe amy voted her off instead of that evil troll, Vicky!! wtf??

 Today was good, except i had a little too much popcorn. DH bought one of those holiday tins with 3 different kinds of popcorn in it. THANKS A LOT!  I love popcorn!  I just had to not eat again after that….I think it is still within my calories tho.  I am not like crazy strict when it comes to counting my calories (maybe I should be) but, I try to focus more on eating superfoods/ whole foods.  So when i eat junk like popcorn……even tho it may still be within my calories…..I feel like crap anyway.  There is no nurtritional value in popcorn, therefore I should not have eaten it! period….. well, I am far from perfect.

B- fruit smoothie (strawberry, blueberry, pear, and banana, blended up)

L- small bowl of left over spaghetti (wholegrain noodles, and no meat sauce)

S- popcorn, ugh….

D- tuna with onion, relish, and fat free mayo, on low fat crackers

S- more popcorn….(sigh)

WOW am i sore!!  I have been working out for more than 7 months now, and thought I was getting pretty in shape. I had a wake up call tonight!! I still have a lllooooooonnnngggg way to go to be “in shape”. My usual work out is the elyptical, treadmill, and more recently the stairmaster. I also do strength training.  I am always increasing the intensity of my work outs and weights. So tonight i tried  a spin class for beginers!! holy crap was that hard!! I didn’t realize how many muscles you needed to lift your self up on a bike and ride standing up. Plus he had us go up, and down, up and down several times!! OUCH!!! MY BUTT HURTS SO BAD!! my feet were throbbing because of the peddels and my leg muscles were like rubber! It was a 45 min class and i had to stop after 30 min! i felt like a quiter at first, but then i realized that there is no way i could have even done 10 minutes of that torture 70 lbs ago. I am getting more fit with each passing day, but it just hit me tonight how much further i still have to go. It gave me a new goal tho….. I want to be able to do that class all the way through without causing horrible pain and agony , that is my new goal. it might take some time, lol.  I am changing up my work out routine starting this week.  usually when I did my strength training, i would do both upper and lower body on that same day (for 30 min)….. now i am going to focus on just the upper body for one day, then the lower body the next. This is going to allow me to work out longer on those specific parts of my body, and then they will rest on the day that i am doing the other parts. It will mean longer work outs on each body part, plus i will be doing some strength training every day.  well, i am hoping that my body wont be too sore tomorrow. my legs feel like rubber now. ugh….. it was the spin class from hell!!

B- fruit smoothie (strawberry, pineapple, banana) blended up

S- celery, carrots and humous

L- spaghetti with wholegrain noodles, and no meat sauce

S- fiber one bar

D- bowl of spaghetti

S- danactive

I am so happy today!!! I lost almost 4 lbs this week!! even after the carnival food on sunday, woo hoo!! I love it.  I am so close to being in the 220’s.  I can taste ONEderland, and it will be so SWEET!!!! It just goes to prove that even if you have a bad day (or 2) that doesn’t mean you have completely blown it.  just get back on track and put the bad stuff behind you ;)  I am at work now, and wont be able to write much, but i just wanted to share my success this week with you wonderful peeps.  I love coming to 3fc and reading everyone’s blogs. It makes me feel like I am not alone in this struggle. so thanks for all of your insightful posts and such.

B- oatmeal with lite soy milk and half a banana

S- lite mocha frappachino

L- lean cuisine fish, rice and broccoli dinner

S- big salad with lite catalina, spinach, hard boiled egg, sunflower seeds, green onion, tomatoes. yum!

D- small bowl of bean soup

thank you so much chanel, for the comment. I wish there was a way i could know how to find you. leave me your blog address or 3fc profile address.  It sucks that when someone leaves a comment, it doesn’t automatically give me their blog link. from now on i am posting my blog address on all the comments i leave

I was so tired today!! yesterday was exhausting!!! We moved my sister all day long! very good work out, but very hard. I am sore all over! my DH hurt himself moving a huge desk type thing, ugh….. moving sucks the big one.  needless to say i didn’t go to the gym yesterday, but i’m sure i burnt more calories than usual. I also ate real good too.  so, today it was like I had to kick my self in the ass just to get out the door to go exercise.  I did it tho :)  I also had another good day with my food .  I am a little bummed about my sis being farther away from me, but i just have to get over it. she is still only 45 minutes away. 

 my middle child had a base ball game tonight, and they kicked butt!!! I am not competative, but he is happier when his team wins, so of course that makes me happy.  There is a very sweet lady i talk to at his games who is on medifast. she has lost 20lbs so far.  she know’s i am on a plan to lose weight too. we discuss it occassionally. well, the past couple games, i’ve noticed that she is eating stuff from the concession stand. my DH ordered fries tuesday night and didn’t want them all.  Can you believe that she ate the rest of his fries!!! I was sort of shocked. Mainly because she doesn’t know us all that well, and for her to eat his left over fries just kinda threw me back a bit. plus she had some donuts he brought the other night too (yes, dh has some food issues of his own, lol).  now….. I am not one to care about what other people eat, and I dont want to butt in where i have no business being, but I am concerned.  she is a very nice and beautiful girl.  It makes me sad to think she has given up, or quit her plan.  she is obviously not trying to hide it from me, so i dont know if i should bring it up and show my concern, or just ignore it.  so far, i’ve just ignored it….. it is not really my business. I just feel bad for her if she has fallen off track. Then again, maybe she is just having a bad week.  would any of you say something to her?  I just wouldn’t want her to think i was judging her.  but, i would like to give her more inspiration to continue.  idk….. 

Today i made this awesome tuscan white bean soup. I got the recipe off of  myrecipes.com  under the cooking light section.  probably the best soup ive ever made personally.  I have made a few other dishes from this site and they’ve all been very good. if anyone wants some good ideas for light recipes, that is a good place to look.  DH liked it too, which is a plus!  good night all

B- fruit smoothie

S- celery and carrots with home made  humous

L- lean cuisine grilled chicken caesar bowl

S- danactive

D- white bean soup

S- at the game, some popcorn

S- after the game one more small bowl of white bean soup, and a slim a bear ice cream bar (100 cal)

over all it is within my calorie range.