No more cookies in the house.
All junk food is GONE GONE GONE.
Only Healthy Stuff will enter my mouth!
Funny thing is.. I have been really enjoying fresh salads from garden. Kinda have a craving for them!
And…..
I HAVE BEATEN THE FUZZY FRUIT PHOBIA!!!
Yes.. I can eat peaches now. And I ENJOY THEM!!
I wonder if there are any other fuzzy fruit I can consume!!
I feel like SUPERMAN!!lol
Filed under: Uncategorized on August 10th, 2009 | 1 Comment »
I’ve checked all my favorite bloggers… and noone has posted. I must be the only person who doesn’t have a life. And it’s because I sat home and ate the last of the bag of Fudgee Os and then a plate of spicy fries and Mayo…
Why do I do it? Do I really not care about losing weight? Do I really not care about getting healthy? Do I really want to end up with the back surgery sooner than I want/
The first answer is I have no self will power. The answers are No… No… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
Ok.. 21 Days to make or break a habit. Starts tomorrow morning Bright and Early!
I can do this!
I can do this!
I can do this!
Filed under: Uncategorized on August 9th, 2009 | 1 Comment »
OK… So my friend went to the store and bought me a bag of Fudgee-O’s cookies… in celebrations of my book publication and the sales. Yup the books are selling! But I have NO WILL POWER!! A half a bag later I feel like crap. Then I had Tater Wedges after that!!
I lose 2lbs and then I go and eat enough to gain it back? WTF is WRONG with me?????
At least the sugar boost helped me get 3 loads of laundry done. Sweep all the floors. Clean the linen cupboard… and it’s a BIG ASS cupboard… and clean the bathroom…
I’ve really really gotta be good from now on…. seriously….
And of course I feel like total crap now… upset tummy… bloodsugar crash… Potato Wedge breath… ICK… I’ve even brushed my teeth.
OK..I am really gonna work work work on eating clean and healthy!
Filed under: Uncategorized on August 8th, 2009 | No Comments »
So while I was lying around bedridden for four months and nothing to do but gain weight.. I wrote a book. And it’s now selling! And now I’m being asked to write articles for several outlets. I am suddenly an author and journalist.
I’m also a dating and life coach. Been those two for awhile.. just never “Professionally”. And here I am starting a growing business. Sadly my BUtt has Grown with them! I wonder if there will be a corresponding ratio of lost ass to found revenues…. It would be nice.
And now my publisher and my agent are asking me for portfolio pictures so we can start using them on my book and stuff. Oh great.. do I have any “Current” pics they ask… Uh… yeah…but I’m a big fat cow in all of them. I say… “Can we use last year’s stuff?” They say sure!! So now I have to lose 40lbs for sure so I know that when I go on a book signing gig or something that I LOOK like my picture!! How’s that for incentive to lose weight??!!
Rain this weekend. Great.. .nothing to do but sit inside…and eat! Will NOT fall prey to that. Will do laundry and write the 6 articles awaiting to be written. I wish these guys would give me a definite deadline. I work well with deadlines. I mean DEFINITE deadlines. I need DEFINITE deadlines set for weightloss.
Hmmm must work on that!!
Have a great weekend.
Mikki
Dating & Life Coach on her way to Wellness
Filed under: Uncategorized on August 7th, 2009 | 1 Comment »
I am not a candy person. I am not a cake or cookie person. I am a CHIP girl. I LOVE the crunchy salty textures and tastes. And even though eating them makes me feel really icky these days.. I STILL DO IT!!
I LOVE CHIPS… but I HATE what they do to me.
I bloat. I feel ill. I feel lethargic. And these side affects last for 24 hours!
I succumbed to the urge for chips last nite because I needed comfort. I had eatne well all day.. even after the funeral. But 7pm… I needed… well not NEEDED…but WANTED and CRAVED chips. I am a comfort eater. If I am sad… I comfort myself with food. I do something good.. I reward myself with food. I get angry.. I eat…
I need to control this.
Got another article up on the website today. Font is really small. Need to change that as it hurts my eyes! Imagine what it is doing to my followers’ eyes!!
And the traffic widget isn’t working. It says 0 people have visited the website… yet I KNOW people have been there because they have told me so and quoted thing from the site… Ahh the joys of ironing out the wrinkles.
Speaking of wrinkles.. gotta do laundry today.
Filed under: Uncategorized on August 6th, 2009 | No Comments »
Seriously?? I must be!!! I want the pain to stop, I want to lose the weight so the pain will stop. I don’t want to feel yucky. Yet what do I do first thing this morning? I get up and eat two huge Morning Glory Muffins. Loaded with fat and sugar… and 6 hours later I still feel like crap, my stomach is still bloated, and now I want to lay down and puke. THere’s no nausea… but it’s that “lump in the pit of my stomach” feeling that makes want to puke..the “I ate wayyyyyyyy too much” feeling.
But I hauled my big fat butt all the way to the out of town campus a half hour away by bus. THen I sat in the registrar’s office. Then I sat in the Admissions office. Then I stood in the Second Career councillors office. I had to explain to her that I already had a Second Career Councillor, I’d already filled out all the forms. I was just here to register and get my acceptance letter.
And Lo and Behold, because I was I insistant, but polite, I finally got my acceptance letter. I am now going for my law degree!
Then I sat and waited on the bus bench for my bus home.
We got to the transfer point late and I had to get off and run across the street to catch my transfer. Yeah.. >My back won’t let me run.. I took a wipeout, my Itouch went flying, I lost the belt clip. Thank goodness the bus driver waited for me. Not that he asked if I was ok or not..but at least he waited.
And of course, now that I am home, and pleased with myself… I want a bag of chips. To “REward” myself!… YEt I feel like crap from the muffins so I WILL NOT eat chips… I won’t eat anything till supper. And it will be something good… but I still have that urger to walk to the store and buy chips… and eat the whole bag…
Seriously… I must be a masochist!!!
Filed under: Uncategorized on August 4th, 2009 | No Comments »
So I am gearing up for tomorrow. The first real day of the week since this was a long weekend. Tomorrow is when I register for school. Tomorrow is when I really have to buckle down and get the marketing done on the book. It’s all done. The editing is finished. We have the cover artwork done. It’s all done… we just need to get marketing and traffic going.
Life as I will know it for the next two years starts tomorrow. I am going back to school. I have been given the ok by the doctors to work at a minimal physical job for 15 to 20 hours a week. As long as it doesn’t cause me pain or exascerbate my back. HAH! Like just being housebound doesn’t do that. Like trying to do one small load of laundry or sweeping the kitchen floors doesn’t do that!!
But I am determined to succeed. I will get my law degree. I will have a selling book. I will get well. I will lose weight and become HEALTHY!!!!
I have been invited to a big shindig for the Hockey Hall Of Fame in November. I wonder if I can lose 40lbs by then… I’ll settle for 30!
Wow.. I’m going to have a life again! Albeit totally new and alien to me!!
Filed under: Uncategorized on August 3rd, 2009 | No Comments »
I went to my friend’s Memorial last nite. It was so wonderful to see all the people there whose lives he’s touched. And so many of us were wearing Hawaiian shirts in memor of him. After that Dr. BF and I went out to eat.
I sat and cried, the waitress was uncomfortable, and Dr. BF didn’t know how to handle it. He is Asian, from a typical asian family. You don’t show emotion. You don’t cry. You hold everything in. YOu deal with it in private.
Well, I’m Italian… worse..I’m Sicilian… so EVERYTHING is out in the open.. and it’s always intense. Love, hate, sorrow, passion. Seems so is eating!lol
Dr. BF admitted to me that he envies me that I have such close friends that I have known for decades, and that I have so much love in my life. He has no close friends. His family is just that… a family. But a family who does not share emotions.. not even love. They care for each other.. but not to where he feels “loved”, like he sees me with my closest friends.
I told him that since I do not have a family, my friends fill that spot. I hope he makes some sort of attempt to become closer to his family. They will probably not reciprocate… but I hope he makes the attempt.
I was eating so well this last week… until tonite. I needed chocolate.. so we went to Dairy Queen and I had a medium Missispie Mud Fudge Blizzard. And now I am blogging at 11:32pm at nite. Go figger..
Another intersting thing happened after the Memorial… I got contacted by someone through one of the forums I belong to on another site. It was a dear friend from 20 years ago whom I lost touch with when we both moved to opposite ends of the country. One light fades and another one grows bright to fill that space.
Saddest note today, my fish, Stixx, pet of 9 years, got a burial at sea this evening. Dr. BF and I put her in a bucket and took her to lake and set her free. She floated peacefully into the darker deeper water. She was barely alive. Only a short time left to live on this Earth. So I am glad that she was able to spend it free where she could be a true fish..
So now I am going to try to eat well again tomorrow. Always the ongoing battle.
Filed under: Uncategorized on July 30th, 2009 | No Comments »
What motivates a person? For each person it’s something different. Money, fame, forturne, love, attention, sense of accomplishment, better health… sooooooooo many different things.
So why can’t I find anything that will motivate me to eat properly? You would think that with what I am going through with my health IE my back… I would be seriously working very hard to get this 40lbs off!
Yet what did I do last nite? Go for Starbucks, then go for Onion rings.. and I got the BIG plate! Seriously… what the heck is wrong with me????
Last nite my friend said I’m just still dealing with the loss of my friend, whose Memorial is this evening, dealing the stress of the doctors being idiots, dealing with the stress of my diagnosis that I may never ride a horse again or lead a “normal” life.
I’m usually the person who can just pull myself up out of a slump and march on. Why can’t I do that now?
I miss my horses, I miss taking my geriatric dogs out to the doggie park and playing with them, I miss going hiking with my friends, I mis ALOT of things… WHY can’t these be motivators? Why can I not feel that urgent need to improve things like I always have? Why can’t the pending publication of my book be a motivator? WHY CAN I NOT GET MOTIVATED?
Does anyone have any Ideas?????
Filed under: Uncategorized on July 29th, 2009 | 2 Comments »
And for those of you who wanted to see pictures of Cuba… Here they are!! And seeeeee!!!??? I took your advice and wore a bathing suite!!!!
http://picasaweb.google.ca/horsenpups/TripToCuba#
You’ll see Dr. BF in there too. He’s the tall, geeky, Asian Scarecrow looking guy!lol
Filed under: Uncategorized on July 28th, 2009 | 1 Comment »