I\’m married to a pedometer

Food logging isn’t exactly my strong point, but I’ve been trying to keep track of it for the last week or so. Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts about what I’m eating? My goal is 1268 calories a day and I’m averaging 1220. Thanks in advance! I’m not really sure why I eat so little on some days. The only thing I can think of is that I am at work. I work Monday-Thursday from 11am to 9pm. There are times we get busy and I can’t eat unless it is mobile food. THANK YOU! This is crazy confusing to me!  I don’t remember where I got the 1268 calories per day.  Please let me know if you think that it’s too low.  I walk at least 10,000 steps per day too.  :)  Fanks again!

SUNDAY 10/26/08

Total = 1230

• 5 Marachino cherries (50)
• English muffin with butter/jam (400)
• Coffee (100)
• Slim Fast (230)
• Cottage Cheese (200)
• Skinny Cow Mini Bar (50)
• Veggie Soup (200)

SATURDAY 10/25/08

Total = 960

• Coffee (100)
• Granola Bar (140)
• Slim Fast (230)
• Granola Bar (140)
• Soup and Cottage Cheese (400)
• Skinny Cow Mini Bar (50)

FRIDAY 10/24/08

Total = 1630

• Slim Fast (230)
• Coffee (100)
• Slim Fast (230)
• Slim Fast (230)
• Granola Bar (140)
• Grapes (50)
• Doritos, Chix and Cottage Cheese (600)
• Skinny Cow Mini Bar (50)

THURSDAY 10/23/08

Total = 1550

• Coffee (100)
• Slim Fast (230)
• Activia (120)
• Spaghetti (700)
• Macaroni (400)

WEDNESDAY 10/22/08

Total = 1050

• Coffee (100)
• Slim Fast (230)
• Macaroni (250)
• Activia (120)
• Cocoa (130)
• Beans (100)
• Chips-n-Salsa (120)

TUESDAY 10/21/08

Total = 750

• Coffee (100)
• Activia (120)
• Smart One (290)
• Hot Chocolate (150)
• 20 Cheez Its (150)

MONDAY 10/20/08

Total = 1370

• Coffee (100)
• Lean Cuisine (330)
• Cocoa (250)
• Activia (140)
• Lean Cuisine (320)
• Slice of Pizza (300)

SUNDAY 10/19/08

Total = 1220

• Coffee (100)
• Bagel with Cream Cheese (200)
• Slim Fast (230)
• Soup (300)
• 2 Cheetos (20)
• Slim Fast (230)
• Activia (140)

Filed under: General on October 26th, 2008 | No Comments »

Holy moly.  I think that my life has changed forever.

About a year ago, I was at a school function/convention-like-thing and saw a woman offering Reiki.  While I had no idea what Reiki was, I decided to try it because I had some extra time.   I laid down on the table and she proceeded to spend 45 minutes calming me.  There is really no other way to describe it.  I felt tingly and warm.  I was calm, relaxed and open. It was amazing.  If you aren’t familiar with Reiki, I created a Reiki page where I try to explain it. 

Since that time, I have read online about Reiki and wanted to learn more, but didn’t have much extra time due to graduate school.   My last semester of school (around February 2008), I was in class and we had a guest speaker who came to talk to us about Reiki.  I couldn’t believe it!  I listened to her and, after class, I probably drove her crazy with questions.

Then, in August, I went to a fair with some friends and received another Reiki session.  It was as awesome as the first!  After that, I started looking for Reiki I classes to take.  It seemed like I didn’t “connect” with any of the teachers, so I just kept looking.  Then I found Jill.

Jill is a Reiki Master teacher and an amazing person all around.  She has a psychology degree and works in the mental health field.  It seems like we had so much in common!  I signed up for her Reiki I class and went to it yesterday.

During the class, I received a series of attunements.  I left the class feeling “strange”.  Its a good strange, but strange nonetheless.   There was another student, Miriam, who I worked with practicing the technique and learning the different feelings.  I felt my hands warm and my focus become clear.  I know I sound “out there” (as my hubby calls it), but it was so real!  I think it’s amazing that I can now practice Reiki on myself, my hubby and my dogs.  I’m going to have fun with this.  I want to take the Level II class, but I think I’ll wait for a while.  Jill told me that there is a 21-day cleansing process after an attunement and I need to make it through that first.

I am in awe and feel good.  I woke up this morning and repeated the 5 Principles of Reiki.  I plan on doing it every morning.  They are:

1. Just for today, I will count my many blessings.
2. Just for today, I will not worry.
3. Just for today, I will not be angry.
4. Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
5. Just for today, I will be kind to every living creature.

Feel free to ask questions, I just don’t know what else to share!

Filed under: Reiki on October 26th, 2008 | 2 Comments »

OK.. so I’m a bit better. I’ve had many emotions today…. but I’m better.

Just for starters, I need to announce that I quit smoking. YEAH! Yesterday was my start day, though I didn’t start until I finished my last pack. I got patches and slapped one on. I don’t have many cravings, so that’s good. Then came bedtime… oh boy.

Last night was awful! Apparently patches are not to be worn when sleeping. I really should have read the directions. I wasn’t sleepy when my husband went to bed, so I went to the couch to keep from bugging him because he had to be up early this morning. I woke up every 2 hours all night long! I was nauseous, fatigued (obviously) and then I threw up THREE times! At 5am, it finally crossed my mind that the patch might have something to do with the mess going on and I yanked it off. I got to sleep from 5:15 to 7:30. It was blissful. In retrospect, there is really very little need for the patch while sleeping. DUH! *Note to self – Don’t wear the patch to bed.*

I heard my hubby get up and moving, but I really wanted more sleep. I finally got up and moving around 8am. I drank coffee, watched cartoons with my son and then got us ready for his basketball practice at 11am. I met my hubby at the practice and we watched our son ROCK THE COURT!

After practice, my son went with my hubby and I got to come home to dink on the net for a bit. It was wonderful.

I signed up for a Reiki I class and went to it from 2pm-6pm. It was an awesome experience! I’ll write more about Reiki a bit later, but I have to say that I feel different. I’m gonna start a whole Reiki page just to share!

I came home and wanted to go to Half Price Books. I finally talked my boys into going with me by enticing them with dinner out. We went to the store and I didn’t find any books I really wanted, but I did get a Hula-Dance Workout. Sounds like fun! My son got a huge books about bugs… he’s such a boy!

On our way out, no one could decide what we wanted for dinner. My hubby and I ended up arguing about it (how silly!) and then we just came home to eat. So much for that idea. I ate some Butternut Squash soup by V8 and liked it.

Now I have to go get back on the treadmill. I don’t have my 10,000 steps for the day and I have to make it for the 21 Day Challenge. I’ll write more later about Reiki cause I can’t wait to share!

Take care all!

Filed under: General on October 25th, 2008 | 1 Comment »

While I am feeling optimistic about restarting my weight loss, I seem to have also partially lost my mind. There are so many things that I just don’t like about myself. It seems that I lash out at my husband, mostly because I am not happy with myself. It’s not fair, but seems to be true.

Let’s start from the beginning. I’m fat and have been for as long as I can remember. I hate it. While hate is a super strong word, it is exactly how I feel. I hate it. I hate looking at myself in the mirror in the morning. I hate being naked and I hate summer time because I am forced to wear less clothing. With such strong feelings, it would seem to reason that I could do something about it, right?

Why can’t I? It seems that I stay on a cliff between exercising too much and eating too little or binging and not exercising enough. I don’t understand why I can’t find a happy middle. What’s even more worrisome is that there are times I think that I am just one purge away from Bulimia.

I can’t think of anything that I like about myself. There isn’t anything that makes me unique, special or wonderful. Everyone has something… I know that. BUT… I can’t identify my own.

With that said, it seems that my self-esteem is in the toilet. I thought that it would raise as my weight lowered. I have lost 17 pounds since beginning this and I don’t feel any better about myself. I hate how clothes look on me. If I had the money, I would have my tummy sucked right out of me. Perhaps new clothes would help, but I’ve got the sneaking suspicion that it would just mask the problem while wasting money that I don’t have.

What makes this worse is that I am a Social Worker. I deal with this kind of stuff everyday. I have a Master’s Degree. I know I’m not stupid. All signs point to the fact that I should be able to figure this out. Perhaps I need medication… strong medication. That’s what I would be looking into for someone else who reported these things to me. I don’t want to go to the doctor and tell him these things. I don’t want to take medication everyday. I have all the same excuses as my clients. How bizarre. It seems that no one is safe from the feeling of inadequacy.

When I started the Step Diet, I made a page listing the reasons that I wanted to lose weight. Those reasons are as valid now as they have ever been. I want to be accepted. I want to be intimate with my husband and not ashamed. I want to feel (be) confident.

Right now, I feel excluded. I feel alone and unwanted. I feel that I can’t do anything right. I am embarrassed of myself and my appearance. I feel ugly and inadequate. Its making me mean.

Weight loss is a ridiculous struggle. It’s about so much more than weight. The one good thing about this is that these intense feelings make me want to help other women who are facing the same challenges. If I ever make it through this dark time, I should be a Therapist at a Bariatric Clinic or something. Something positive could come from this, at least I hope so.

Filed under: General on October 24th, 2008 | 2 Comments »

Since I have had a hard time with steps lately, I decided to reflect back on 3FC.  As it turns out, there is a group of people who complete “21 Day Challenges” and I decided to join.

Yesterday was my first day. My last day will be 11/12/08.

I set my goals –

• Weigh myself daily
• Obtain required steps

I created a new page to track this. I am hoping that I can lose some weight along the way. According to my spreadsheet, I could weigh 185 by 11/12/08. That’s only a 2 pound loss from now, so I’m sure that I can get there. I am hoping to weigh 181. My spreadsheet calculates that weight loss at 1.5 pounds per week and stopped for the month of October due to it being a maintenance month on the Step Diet. We’ll see, I’m sure that it will all work out.

This seems awesome! Come and join the challenge and make up our own goals!  If you are interested, the newest thread is here: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show…91#post2424191

Filed under: General on October 24th, 2008 | No Comments »

I’m home the rest of the week with my son.  He’s on fall break and we decided that we needed to “chill” for a couple days.   It’s nice to wake up and watch cartoons with him.  It’s a wonderful break.  It also gives me time to reflect a bit on myself and plan a bit for the future.

I suddenly feel the urge to babble and spew all the thoughts in my head!

Since I have some extra time, I went through some old files on my computer.  I found a treadmill spreadsheet (not unlike the one I have linked here) that reported my weight on January 4, 2006 was 217.4 pounds!  When I started this time (6/18/08), I was at 204.4 pounds.  Well, so I’d somehow managed to lose 13 pounds in 2 and a half years?!  Talk about slow, but how cool anyway!

I started wearing this pedometer on January 1, 2008.  I wore it without paying much attention to it until June.  That’s when I decided to take the Step Diet seriously.  Here it is, almost Halloween, and I am down some weight (officially 17 pounds) .  I need to take my measurements again.  Perhaps I can wriggle that in today.   I got on the treadmill yesterday and today and am feeling far more hopeful than I had in the last month or so.

I weighed myself today and I am at 187.  Lowest I’ve seen in a LONG time!  My heighest weight was 218, so I was really close to that in January of 2006.  I can’t believe the difference in some of the pictures I’ve taken.  Heighest at 218, todays weight at 187.  That means that I have officially lost 31 pounds from January 2006.   I guess that means that I am going in the correct direction.  While I am glad that it seems to be coming off and staying off,  I wish that this would speed up. I think I’ll look online today and see if I can’t find some walking workout routines.  I think I need something to change it up a bit!

I tried to walk backwards on the treadmill.  I’ve heard it helps the muscles on the back of thighs.  Turns out it hard as hell.  I bet it’ll work.  My legs are killing me.

I took a Cylaris pill on Monday.  Whew!  I felt like my heart would beat out of my chest! No more of that!

I haven’t been on the WiiFit in a month.  Poor thing.  I wanted it so bad and now I’ve neglected it.   Perhaps a routine would help.  It seems to hard to fit all of these things in!

Well, I think I’m done babbling.  Hope you all have a terrific day and happy losing!

Filed under: General on October 22nd, 2008 | No Comments »

OK… so I’ve got a question.  I have never been one to take any diet pills, but I have to admit that lately they are catching my eye.  Has anyone taken anything and gotten results?  As silly as this may sound, I have bought many different things, but always fail to take them for fear of them hurting me in some way.  I have Cylaris, Alli and TrimSpa all in my cabinet.  All of which have never had the seal broken on them.  Right now, I feel desperate for a jump start and am again considering it.

What ya’ll think?

Filed under: General on October 19th, 2008 | 3 Comments »

Wow! It’s been a while. I’ve done quite a bit of soul searching, fell off the walking wagon and now am ready to give this another shot. What happens when someone has been doing a “program” for 3 months? They lose interest and motivation and I am no exception.

I’ve decided to delete my mess from my spreadsheet and proceed with new goals. I’ll be modifying my current goals in the coming week. It’s just gonna have to do. We are all allowed to goof up. The good news is that my goof up cost me zero pounds. THAT’S RIGHT! ZERO POUNDS GAINED! YEAH!

My internet has been slow as molasses for quite some time now, which isn’t helping me stay up to date. Actually, it may play a large role in me finally “giving in” to myself.

I don’t know where my motivation is going to come from, but I have a sneaking suspicion that if I start up and can make it a week, I’ll feel better about myself and I am fairly tired of feeling crappy about my actions.

Well, here’s to another “new” start. At least this time, I’m not starting all over.

Filed under: General on October 18th, 2008 | No Comments »

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to ideal weight. I have no idea what it should be. I have set small goals, but feel like it’s just not enough. Perhaps I should just lighten up (no pun intended) about it. J

Will I just know when I get there?

Should I go by BMI instead?

Do parents make a big difference?

Everyone says that my Mom and I are “just alike”. I’ve been told more than once that we look like sisters. She’s 5’6” and about 125 pounds. I’m 5’3” and 188. Should I be small like her? If that’s the case, I can see me weighing between 115-120… YIKES. Mom and I have both been told we have small bone structures, so “big boned” ain’t gonna work for me. Darn. My Dad was 6’2” and thin. I have no idea where I got 5’3”… I’m the shortest person in my family.

On my quest, I found a pretty cool websites that I thought that I would share. It’s nice to see the contradictions between them, as it makes me aware that I need to make my own decision.

Halls.md - www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm - Says my goal weight should be 143.

Calorie Count.com - www.calorie-count.com/calories/calories-goal.php - Says I need to eat 1268 calories per day with light activity to weigh 120 by June 12, 2009.

FreeDieting.com - www.freedieting.com/tools/weight_loss_tools.htm - There are a lot of tools on here. It says that my ideal weight (considering medium build) is 114-119 pounds.

KristensGuide.com - http://www.kristensguide.com/Health/Weight_Loss/weight_loss_profile_calculator.asp#profile – This is a fantastic website! Look all over!

Filed under: General on September 29th, 2008 | No Comments »

Well, I must admit it. It’s been a rough month. I’m not going to make my step totals for the month and I am kinda bummed. The good news is that I got on the scale and through all this; I have actually lost a pound. It came as a complete surprise to me, as I was sure that I would have started gaining. Somehow, this is starting to change my habits and that’s a good thing.

On September 1^st, I weighted in at 190. Today my weight registered 188. I like the 180’s. I can’t wait to see the 170’s. The losing of a pound helped to rekindle my lost ambition. It’s only a 2 pound loss all month, but I am pretty sure that its still a good thing. I didn’t gain. I struggled and I didn’t gain. Whoo-hoo!

I think that August got so out of control on step totals that I was completely burned by September. I was walking on the treadmill at least an hour a day and I just can’t keep up that pace. It seemed that my life was being over-run by steps and the ever increasing need for them. Thankfully October is a maintenance month. I am ready. I need 12,000 steps per day the entire month. I’m ready for some steadiness.

I need to update my spreadsheet to reflect new goals. Its defiantly time to re-evaluate. It seems that September has been a long month of struggle and re-evaluation. I’m ready for October. I’m off to reset goals. Hopefully I can get a new leash on this.

Happy stepping all!

Filed under: General on September 28th, 2008 | No Comments »