Sunday - Circuit and Cardio

Monday -Cardio

Tuesday - Circuit and Cardio

Wednesday - Rest Day

Thursday - Cardio

Friday - Circuit and Cardio

Saturday - Rest Day

I was struggling to get to the gym on the days that I work.  I work Monday through Thursday, so this schedule has me only going to the gym (for circuit training) on Tuesdays.  Surely that will be OK.  Also, during the summer we go out of town a LOT.  That generally means that I am not home on Saturdays, so I made sure that Saturday was a Rest Day. I hope this works.  I’m not very good at altering a schedule once I’ve got it down pat.  To boot, I’ve already goofed it once…. yesterday.

My closest friend is also overweight.  We have lost weight together before, but this time I am very dedicated and she isn’t really even considering it.  It makes it really tough.  A couple of weeks ago, we decided to start getting together on Friday or Saturday every week to make time for each other.  She works an swing overnight shift and I can’t ever remember when she works.  I work Monday-Thursday (11am-9pm), so its really hard to get together.  I thought it was going to be great.  As it turns out, its a real challenge for me.  Yesterday I called her to ask about getting together and she asked that our families meet (not just her and I).  The kids wanted pizza, so we went to a new pizza joint in town.  They got this humongous all meat pizza and I got a single size veggie pizza (I’m not even sure its better for me, but it made me feel better about eating pizza).   The goof was the stupid breadsticks!  I ate SO many!  So today is officially my rest day but I am overcome with guilt.  I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID THAT!  The week before, we met at Olive Garden and I did the same thing… I ate a TON of breadsticks.  Geesh… I need to get a grip.  To boot, I only got the cardio part done yesterday because we went out and then they came back to my house.  I had planned on going after my hubby got home from work, but then that got all mucked up.  I suppose I just need to stick to it and not let things  derail me.  Surely if I had said “you can’t come over because I HAVE to go to the gym” they would have looked at me like I was crazy.  AND RUDE TOO!

Can I just add that I have a picture of myself at the Roller Derby and I am eating a BREADSTICK?  OMG… This is too much.  That must be “the” food for me.  I have to STOP! I just can’t believe it took me this long to realize it.

So, its another day.  The biggest rule in weight loss seems to be that “everyday is a new day”.  Don’t let one flub goof everything up.  So, while this is a rest day, I’ll probably choose to do some cardio and circuit just to make myself feel better.  I need to get this routine down so that I am more likely to stick with it.  I also need to sign up for childcare at the gym so that I can take my son with me and not be waiting for my hubby to come home.  Perhaps I’ll do that today.  Anything that I can do to make things easier will go a long way.

On a side note, I’ve been going crazy about my weight not moving.  I got on the scale on Sunday (3/29) and my weight was 177.  Then, I got on the scale on Wednesday (4/1) and my weight was 181.  What the hell?!  I’ve been working my butt off and it just aggravates the hell out of me.  Well, I “started” yesterday and this morning my weight was 178.  Is 4 pounds normal to gain for “that time”?  Gosh, that seems like a LOT!  I don’t mean to complain because if it was just “her” then I am happy again.  I’m still frustrated that I am not losing but REALLY HAPPY that I didn’t really gain 4 pounds!

Anyway, I’m rambling.  I’m gonna go read some other blogs, have a terrific day!

I am so frustrated!  I want to be thin.  I want to be healthy.  I am working hard and seeing very few results.  I’ve been watching the Biggest Loser and while it usually makes me want to workout, last night I watched it and it only made me burst into tears.  What the heck is going on?!

I just feel so alone.  I’ve had people ask me about losing weight.  I’ve had them tell me I look good… why don’t I buy any of it?  I can’t see it in the mirror.  I know my clothes are loose, but I still can’t see it.  What is wrong with me?  I have been stuck at about the same weight for SO long… is that why?  I just feel like giving up.  Perhaps I need something to focus on other than the number on the scale.

I started taking vitamins.  I absolutely refuse to take diet pills.  I don’t want any reason that I lost weight other than my hard work.  My whole goal from the last year (June 12, 2008, I weighed 204 pounds) was to weigh 154 by my 33^rd birthday (June 12, 2009).  I’m afraid I’m not going to make it.  It’s heartbreaking.  I have 35 pounds to lose in 2 ½ months.  I’ve only lost 10 pounds since last November?!  I am in full freak out mode.  Why can I watch Biggest Loser and they all do so well, even the chicky that came back from being at home…. And I stink at it?!

I have looked for positive proof of my effort and all I could come up with is a Health Risk Analysis that I had done for work on 11/19/2008.  I thought I would post them, so I could see a difference.  I have to go for blood work sometime this week, so maybe I’ll see a difference soon.   The results of my work analysis were:

DATE - 11/19/2008

Height - 5′3″

Weight - 189

BMI - 33.5

Blood Pressure - 114/74 (Normal < 120/80)

Blood Sugar - 85 (Normal < 60-99)

Total Cholesterol - 181 (Desirable < 200)

HDL (Good) Cholesterol - 48 (Desirable is 40-59)

LDL (Bad) Cholesterol - 103 (Near Optimal 100-129)

Triglycerides - 145 (Normal < 150)

While I am within the normal range for all but Weight/BMI (imagine that), I want to make sure that I am as healthy as I can be.  I have a history of heart disease and diabetes in my family and I don’t want to risk it.  I had an uncle who lost his sight (and eventually died) from the effects of diabetes.  He even tried hard to take care of himself!  It is terrifying!

It looks like I need to increase my good cholesterol and lower my bad.  I’ve been trying to eat things and lose weight to make that happen, but it is SO HARD!  I got on the scale today and my weight is 179.  10 pounds in 4 months!  Are you kidding?!  I have been working my butt off!

I decided that running would help me burn calories, so I started running 3 miles per day (or as much of the 3 miles as I could) two weeks ago.  Since then, my weight has merely fluctuated… I haven’t lost ANYTHING.  I am trying to drink nothing but water and eat fresh foods.  OMG…. I can’t take it anymore.

What am I doing wrong?  Why isn’t this working?

Well - One good thing is that I haven’t given up.  At least not yet.  I’ve been at this for more than a year and I haven’t given up.  Maybe that’s the only thing I have going for me right now.

YEAH!  I’m back!

So the good news first!

Goal #1 – I am drinking 64 ounces of water a day!

Goal #2 – I generally get over 10,000 steps per day, but I don’t always make it to 11,000.

Goal #3 – I have had a Slim Fast for breakfast everyday.

Goal #5 – I have been exercising daily.

Goal # 6 – I have been getting more sleep!

Then the goal s that haven’t gone so well -

Goal #4 – I have not been attending OA meetings.

Goals #7 – I have the hardest time documenting on FitDay.  I’d rather just carry a journal.

Goal #8 – I’m smoking again.  This is the most upsetting one.

I seem to be trying to stick to it, my heart must just be into it.  I’m going keep trying.

Well, its a new year and I’m gonna have to get new goals.  I have decided on the goals, so here they are!  I am going to use FitDay (http://fitday.com/fitness/PublicJournals.html?Owner=hlinder ) to track all this… so check in!

1. Drink 64 ounces of water daily.

2. Walk 11, 000 steps daily.

3. Slim fast for breakfast daily.

4. Attend OA meetings weekly.

5. Exercise 6 days per week.

6. Get 8 hours of sleep nightly.

7. Document on FitDay.

8. No smoking!

1.       OA Meetings

2.       13,000 steps per day

3.       Slim Fast for  breakfast everyday

4.       64 oz. of water daily

5.       Exercise Daily

*****Treadmill (12-week workout plan)

*****WiiFit

I bought a new pedometer. This one just plugs into the computer and records my steps. Now I don’t have a reason to use my spreadsheet, so I’m struggling with a routine.

Here’s a good thing – I joined the “Biggest Loser” challenge at work. It starts on January 5^th and lasts 15 weeks. I’m determined to kick all kinds of ass and win the damn thing!

I’m gonna sit here tonight and fidget with my blog. Some pages are ending and I’ll create new ones. I need a plan. I think that my weight is less than 190 today. I’ve gone up a bit but still at least 14 pounds down.

I wonder how much weight I can lose in 15 weeks? I’m guessing 30 pounds would be ideal. I wanna lose more though! I know that’s stupid, so I’ll just aim for 2 pounds per week. I need goals… and a plan.

Maybe I’ll run to Barnes and Noble and buy a Biggest Loser book to get me started. I can’t wait. The pedometer is still a huge part of my plan. I think that I will set goal steps for everyday, that doesn’t change. Perhaps 13,000? I can’t possibly get 13,000 steps per day consistently without moving quite a bit.

I’m finally re-energized about this whole thing. YEAH!

See ya’ll soon!

I would like to try another challenge, but I can’t think of a good one.  Some things that I think would be helpful is to:

• Not smoke (so far so good!)
• Purge one bag of useless junk from my house every day.   I have a couple closets that are a real mess and since I’m losing some weight, I may not fit into my old “fat” clothes.
• I would also like to get at least 10,000 steps everyday.  My goal is always more than that, but if I can’t make it to my goal, I want to at least 10,000.

OK, so I’ve got a lot of thinking to do.  My diet has been a wreck all day today.  Ice cream, mashed potatoes and applesauce.  I’m quite certain that it not helping, but hey… it’s delicious.  I have pudding and yogurt left to try and I’ll probably get to that soon.