Being a people pleaser
I’m a helper. I like to help people. I like to do things for people. Most of all I like to make people happy. Whether that’s giving them advice, doing something nice for them whatever. But you can’t make everyone happy all the time. And there are some people that you can NEVER make happy. Like it or not, personalities clash sometimes and there will be some people that don’t like you even when you are trying to shine your best and brightest towards them.
Those people make life hard for me. I take them very personally. The words they say sting more than any others and I let them get to me way too often. Most people would just say, well forget you than. But the people pleaser in me keeps fighting for thier friendship. It’s odd, I’m not a people pleaser in that I tell people what they want to hear. On the contrary, I just tell the truth. I don’t often make excuses for my opinions on things but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an open mind. Some people don’t seem to like this quality in me. I think they’d rather me just shut up. This of course makes me try harder to get them to like me. I try to be nicer, be kinder, be MORE helpful. Which just makes the situation that much worse. But hey, most people I know do like me…why don’t you? What is YOUR beef with me?
The emotional part of weight loss means I have to deal with this part of me. In the past when a situation like this would arise, I’d immediatly run for comfort in food. I simply can’t use that as a coping mechanism anymore. So I cry. Which isn’t very productive either, but keeps me from eating. Well now I think I’ll blog. I already feel better typing this out. Putting the feelings into words. It brings some clarity to the situation and honestly makes me wonder why I bother with people like that. They don’t like me. That doesn’t neccessarily make them a bad person, it just means that they don’t like me. It’s a personality clash. If I’m being truly honest with myself…I dont’ much like them either! So why the fight for thier friendship? Why must everyone like me?
Points to ponder on a cloudy monday morning.
Filed under: Uncategorized on November 9th, 2009
I used to be a people pleaser- then I realized that I was always unhappy. I changed my motto to “who cares” and haven’t looked back since then. I’ve cut many toxic people out of my life and looking back I realize I don’t even miss them! They were never there for me- but I was always there for them. I’m married, have a decent family, and a few good friends, and that’s ALL I need.
I’m sure one day you’ll realize their drama isn’t worth it and find yourself happier when you start pleasing yourself first.