Dear Heather

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Dear Heather,

I understand that you are having some issues right now.  You have been through a tremendous amount of changes in the last few years.  Your life has been one of consistent hurt and betrayal emotionally, mentally and physically by others and even yourself.  What you have done in the past doesn’t matter any more.  Things can’t be redone or reversed.  You have to move forward the best that you can, letting go of the past, forgiving yourself as God forgives you.

Let’s talk about relationships for a minute.  Everyone needs friends and family but not always is your family your friends.  People need support in different ways and people offer support in different ways.  The type of support that you seem to need might not be available from those that you know.  So what do you? You reach out for guidance from God.  He is always there even when no one else is.  He is always there when you’re happy or sad.  He always is there to support you but you have to let Him. No it’s not always easy to do.  After all, we are creatures that want to be in control and right.

I know that there are people that have problems with the positive changes you have made in yourself by losing weight whether it’s jealousy or envy, or whatever reason they claim, it doesn’t matter.  You need to have and keep positive influences in your life. Get rid of, or stay away from, people that make you doubt yourself, that lead you into temptations and those that don’t offer what you need.  Pray for those that do you wrong keeping in mind that Gods wrath will be upon them in time and it’s not deserving of your time and energy.  With that being said, you must treat others how you want to be treated as well.  Listen to those that need a friend, a sounding board or even ask for your opinion or advice as you need them to do for you. People will come into and leave your life as God deems necessary. All you can do is to try your best to be a friend, be nice to everyone and make the most of this life.  You only get one chance at it.

Now for your weight loss, let’s talk about a few things and how it’s changed you.   It’s amazing that once you started losing weight how your confidence has grown. It’s great to see the smile on your face that’s been missing for years, decades.  When you walk into a room you are proud to be who you are regardless if anyone knows your history of morbid obesity or not.  Confidence is a good trait but don’t let it overtake you.  Always remain humble.  You are so very appreciative of your success and it shows.  Never forget where you came from and remember to be empathetic to those fighting the battle, not knowing their individual story- health, medical, etc.

Besides your confidence, the determination and drive that you’ve had is admirable. Where did it come from? Where has it been in years of numerous attempts to lose weight?  God has always been walking besides you and mostly carrying and directing you.  You are one hard-headed person! Countless times you have fought against God so hard that He let you learn from your choices, and you learned a lot each time. He was still beside you, even when you didn’t acknowledge Him. Not until you really trusted Him and were really ready did He carry you through to success, when you gave it all to Him out of sheer desperation and reaching your personal breaking point. You’ve never had such an experience to be successful, much less being prepared for what was and is yet to be.

You are making a difference.  With your weight loss journey and succeeding you have taken to the sky to journey across the country and even to another country!  Everywhere you go and have the opportunity to share your story-do it.  Give God the glory and the credit for where you were and how far you’ve come on your rite of passage.  It is encouraging and an inspiration to speak to anyone who is interested and has an open mind about their health yet even better to spread the love of God. Bringing someone to the mindset to make choices nutritionally to enhance their quality of life is a wonderful goal and blessing. Bringing a lost soul, or one who has strayed away, to God is even better!  Keep sharing through speaking, through your support group, blogging and posting.  You are helping others while helping yourself too. Don’t let anyone stop you or get in your way of helping someone or many.

Speaking of helping yourself, congratulations on finally figuring out a huge puzzle in your earthly life.  You have found your worth.  Not everyone can seem to come to this enlightenment. People try to blame anyone else and everyone else sometimes for their problems or situations.  You’ve claimed it.  You have owned your faults. You have made the changes necessary for bettering yourself.  You now have put yourself first in a world where it is hard to be able to do so.  You have not been selfish, as some have claimed, you have gained self-worth.  Only you are responsible for your body and ultimately your soul. Only you could have made the changes needed once allowing God to take over.  You are correct in “Doing it for Me” because no one else would, could or should do it for you, but you.

Heather your future is what you are willing to make it. You can stay at your goal and be healthy and active.  You can work with others and be an example nutritionally to show that someone can lose a lot of weight, even without surgery.  You are worthy and can do anything that you set your mind to with your confidence, determination and God beside you.  Keep up with the self-talk too. Not only are you trying to help yourself, but at the same time God is hearing your pleas and will help you too.  ”He may answer quick, He may answer slow, but He promises to answer yes or no.” -Heather Shelton

With love and devotion to you,


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What I eat has worked for my body.

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I’ve had inquiries as to what and how I eat.  What I eat has worked for my body.  You must find the food combinations that work best for your body.

I have changed the way I eat and have no intention on going back to the way I used to eat knowing it would not be healthy for my body or my mind.  The condition I was in was the result of poor choices, poor quality and poor quantity too.

As I’ve changed what I eat my taste for things has changed as has the like/dislike for consistencies, textures etc.  I know what I need to feed my body and what I don’t prefer to put in my body.

Do I always want what I eat?

Not necessarily but it’s what my body needs as it produces the results I desire- to lose/maintain weight and feel great.

Do I eat a tiny “bird-size” amount of food?

Nope! I eat a massive amount of nutritious food pretty much at each meal.  I don’t get hungry in between and have learned to make and have a nice quantity of quality food.

Do I eat what I want?

Within reason - I try to alter a recipe or an idea to fit within the perimeters of what I choice to eat. It might not taste the exact same but it beats not having anything at all.  This is how I’ve come up with some good recipes too.

Does everything that I eat, or make, taste good?

98% of the time it has/does. I haven’t thrown out but one attempt at making “hot chocolate” out of a chocolate protein powder. If there’s a way to do it, I learned a way NOT to! Lol!

Most days I stay on track or extremely close.  Are there times, days or even weeks that I haven’t stayed on my “plan”? Absolutely.  But I know what I need to do to get back on track and stay in my chosen food path that works best for my body.  If you have followed me, or are new to my page, my weakness is nuts! I absolutely love nuts! Nuts about nuts!  I prefer fresh ground peanut butter, almond butter, and most nuts besides pistachios or black walnuts.  The problem with this is the quantity which I consume.  Moderation is the key for sure. I am quite weak and vulnerable when it comes to tasty, crunchy and salty nuts and know its probably best to avoid completely but then I really overindulge. I have to stay focused on health for myself and my longevity.

It’s a new way to live and I’m enjoying my health-style now. If I have to continue to take my food to gatherings to stay in control I am perfectly fine to do so. That way I know what I’m eating, not meaning to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings about a dish, meal, etc.  To my knowledge everyone has been quite understanding about my choices often times remarking that mine looks and smells better than what they ordered or brought.

Food doesn’t make me the person that I am.  I am just me, the same ole me in a better physical state, with a better attitude and confidence in the person that I am evolving into.

I am Doing it For Me!

So now what?

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Don’t you just hate stress and drama?  Sometimes it’s hard to focus on yourself and what you need instead of trying to “feed” the aggravation or emotional pain.  It gets to most people that I know and for sure it gets me.  Life was never guaranteed to be easy. Things aren’t always going to work out how we want them to either.  Compacted by weight issues and possible health concerns makes it that much harder on our bodies when we stress eat (when I stress eat).  


So what do you do? Really. What do you do when faced with stressful situations that lead you into a spiral or in the edge of nutritional failure? Do you exercise and what kind of exercise do you prefer? Do you vent to friends? Do you write?  For me writing makes it real.  I can write it out and talk to myself, and anyone else that wants to read what I write and possibly relate.  In this whole wide world, if I am feeling weak or strong, I am the only one that is always going to be there for myself with God right beside me.  It’s a hard concept to have to be your own support system. Again, I like the comparison of the oxygen mask dropping down in the plane. The main point is that you have to take care of yourself before helping others.  You cannot always rely on others to help you in your time of need so you have to learn to be your strongest support.


For me I have come a long way and gone through many changes the last couple of years physically, emotionally and mentally.  There are those that have “issues” with my weight loss success, having lost friends over it and I seem to be experiencing more negative attitudes, or jealousy, now. I have worked hard on myself and have value.  I am worthy. It bothers me that there are those that have that animosity towards me, assumingly because of my weight-loss, possibly because of my confidence level that has sky-rocketed compared to where it used to be. My attitude and outlook is to be joyful and celebrate others’ good fortune thus I would like to think that I would show that to my friends, family and loved ones in such cases.


So now what? The “newness” has worn off of that initial shock I experience when people see me and when I meet new people they have no idea what my journey or weight loss experience has been.  A new friend mentioned that after losing a lot of weight that she’s just like everyone else walking down the street that there’s nothing to make her different now.  That’s an interesting perspective but now I get it.  At this point for me it’s still quite unbelievable that I’ve accomplished the “impossible” by losing 170 pounds.  I don’t feel out of place any more or as if I draw any attention to me for being “different”, even though being overweight is becoming the norm. 


Fortunately I don’t see myself as still big.  I know some individuals that lose weight have self-image issues based on what they looked like before losing weight and that they see themselves as being that way even afterwards. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror for decades so I would try not to look, or see, the reflection. Perhaps that has helped me as a way for self-preservation.  I thank God that I don’t have that concern on top of all my others.  Also, things in my life work out better when I can relinquish the control that I want to have and give my concerns to God to deal with instead of trying to handle situations, worries, stresses, etc.


It is hard to maintain a weight loss, I would expect of any amount, especially of so much.  After having “yo-yo” dieted for so long it’s difficult to not slip back into habits that have been broken.  When you go “on” a diet it implies that at some point that you can get “off” or “stop” your diet.  I have learned that it is a way of life and that I will always try my best to eat nutritionally for my health and longevity.  I have two beautiful daughters that I pray to see mature into wonderful woman, wives and mothers eventually, not to mention wanting to try to be an example for them to want to emulate.  I can’t let the stresses of today determine who I am today or effect my health for years to come.  Everything happens for a reason.  A verse in a poem I wrote years ago says: He may answer quick, He may answer slow, but He promises to answer yes or no.  Today I give my worries to God.  I am Doing it for Me.

I woke up SKINNY!

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There are not words to express the appreciation and elation in my life right now.  I never would have imagined life to be the way it is today.  When I walked into Metabolic Research Center in Murfreesboro, TN on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2011 I had to do it for me - thus the title of my blog.  I needed to learn to love myself.  Now what I realize is that not only have I learned to love myself, but that my self-worth, self-esteem, and value have grown exponentially.  More importantly my relationship with God has strengthened.  He’s always been beside me, yet I haven’t always been in the right direction.  When I try to be in control it doesn’t work.  When I give it all to God to handle there is a peace I have that’s unexplainable. 

I wanted to try to write everything down to this point so I have a record of it all.  It’s still all so surreal and the most humbling experience.  Now it is an honor to share my experiences with others to encourage good health.

The way things have gone to date:

30 years overweight to morbidly obese

Joined TOPS October 2005 – continued to yo-yo diet

Joined MRC February 14, 2011

Made the remark to friend after 2012 New Year’s – no resolution – “The Sky is the Limit!!” (Had NO clue how true that statement would wind up to be!)

May 2012 TOPS won TN State Division 1 (over 300 pounds) First Place - Memphis, TN

May 2012 – Found Arm Girdles!! Huge ego boost, had been girdling my stomach and legs excess skin for some time

July 2012 TOPS won International Division 1 First Place – San Diego, Ca – incredible opportunity to share my story and be an encouragement to others

Visited Hollywood Blvd with family on trip to California

October 2012 Visited a plastic surgeon – too expensive for corrective procedure – insure won’t cover

October 2012 Wrote to TOPS President Barb Cady to encourage TOPS to work with legislation for insurance to cover procedures with specific stipulations and requirements met, response after discussed at board meeting was it was too big for them to tackle

October 2012 – TOPS – received Century Award – a beautiful pendant necklace in honor of losing 100 pounds and keeping it off for 52 consecutive weeks or longer (VERY emotional – amazing honor for accomplishment)

December 2012 Submitted story to The Doctors TV show

December 2012 Contacted by The Doctors – interested in my story – supplied lots of information and pictures

December 2012 Reached weight loss goal via TOPS! Became a KOPS!!

February 2013 Was flown, alone, to Los Angeles, Ca with drivers, hotel, etc. to shoot my back story and appear on the episode SKIN: Feed It, Fix It, Tuck It – as THE guest for the Tuck It segment – was generously offered Dr. Ordon’s professional assistance to remove stomach and arm skin

Stayed at the Loew’s Hollywood – where God had allowed me to be months before so I would have the confidence to be there all by myself – even ate a few meals ALONE!!  (Huge accomplishment for me) Had a free day where I saw a taping of The Price is Right and Extra – with Mario Lopez interviewing Mark Wahlburg and Sean Combs! WALKED back to hotel about 4 miles because I could, physically and mentally.

March 2013 Interviewed for the Daily News Journal at Metabolic Research Center – huge article in Business Section

March 2013 Interviewed by Tennessee State University (employer) with story published on their web page, Facebook, etc.

March 2013 Interviewed by The Murfreesboro Post – appeared on the FRONT page with great article inside

March 2013 Interviewed by The Daily Corinthian – appeared on the FRONT page with story

March 2013 Interviewed by Channel 2 News which aired several times over a couple days

March 20, 2013 The Doctors episode aired – watched with friends (Available on the website – search for the title of episode above to watch 2 clips)

April 2013 – TOPS was crowned TN State Queen (Their records, lost a few pounds not recorded, 163.75 pounds) -   also participated in the Before and After Parade, recognized as a Century Award recipient, graduated as KOPS, started the Circle of Light with the TOPS TN State King

May 2013 – Started a Facebook Group that turned to a Facebook page to stay accountable for everything I eat, share recipes with pictures sometimes, encourage healthy eating and self worth, trying to help and make a difference, bring awareness to healthy living

June 2013 – Interviewed by The Independent Appeal – appeared on the Front Page with story

July 4, 2013 – Was in TWO parades in a convertible!

July 2013 – Attended TOPS International Recognition Days in Calgary, Alberta, Canada as TN State Queen – also participated in the Before and After Parade, recognized as a Century Award recipient (cried as “The Climb” was sung to all recipients) and participated in my first International Circle of Light

July 29, 2013 – Returned to Los Angeles, California and drove with friend to Rancho Mirage

July 30, 2013 – Consultation with Dr. Drew Ordon and Dr. Ritu Chopra at The Plastic Surgery Institute

July 31, 2013 – Life changing, figure altering, corrective surgery, to remove excess skin: panniculectomy – removal of stomach tissue and correction of two hernias AND bilateral brachioplasty – removal of upper arm skin and excess under armpit and down side

Many asked me prior to the surgery about being scared or nervous.  I truly had given it to God for a calm and peace through the process of filming, photos and after-care.  I woke up skinny!  How many times have I wished I could wake up skinny? It finally worked, after I put in a lot of work on myself. I felt like I had been in a magic show and my middle had been removed.  J

August 1-13, 2013 – Recover at Rancho Las Palmas Resort, with assistance from nurse Shirley a few days and my friend Trish – not really any pain, just discomfort and mobility restriction which have lead to sleep deprivation – “It’s temporary”

Encased in compression belt over stomach and hip area and in compression vest from wrist to hip

Through discussion with others having had similar procedures the biggest complaint was the compression wear.  God has prepared me through constricting the excess skin from bouncing around by girdling which also prevented rashes and back pain. The compression wear is not uncomfortable – it’s a huge hug from God.

August 14, 2013 – Return to Tn to continue to recover

August 17, 2013 – First public appearance at a local TOPS function where I was able to speak

August 21, 2013 – Check up at family doctor to be able to return to work on Monday, August 26, 2013

September – November – TOPS Speaking engagements across the state of TN at functions, maybe more at the Chapter level

Date TBD – Future return to Los Angeles, Ca - appearance for the big “Reveal” on an upcoming episode of The Doctors (until then…. I must avoid having my picture taken where my body, the results, can be seen)



Well, there you have it.  There might be something I missed.  It’s hard to believe the way things have all worked out just from losing weight.  I couldn’t have done it without God guiding me and giving me the strength to stay focused, fight temptations and go all the way.  This is it!  It’s still a daily battle and I expect health and nutrition to always be my focus.  When asked what was the hardest part I still will say-today.  I’ve never been a “normal” sized adult.  It seems to have been easier to lose the weight than it is to maintain within a few pounds.  I am Doing it for ME!


What does your future hold from making continuous healthy choices for your body, losing weight if necessary? Share your story with others.  It’s a great feeling to have someone tell you that You are their inspiration.


The Reflection Revisited

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I have much to catch up on as time allows but had this come to me this morning so I had to share. Much love for you, but love yourself even more!

The Reflection Revisited
Months have passed by
In the new form of me
I’m literally half the person
That I used to be.
I feel twice as tall
With my head held high
Though lowly and more humbled
As each day passes by.
It matters not how long
The journey took to complete
To lose the excess weight
And finally succeed.
Now with graciousness
And tear filled eyes
I can feel and see the benefits
And have received the prize!
I have learned to love me
Like never before
I have put myself first
There’s a new world to explore!
It’s not selfish or conceited
To put yourself first
Besides God you’re the most
Important one on this earth.
Heaven awaits you
But only you have the key
Your body and health is your temple
Your responsibly.
If you take care of yourself
From the inside to out
Everything else falls in place
Without a doubt.
Your life was set in motion
Many years ago
God has a plan for everyone
That we know.
What’s yours? What’s mine?
Are we to ever know?
Take charge of your destiny
And let your light show.
Does it really matter in the scheme of all things
What others think of you?
I once believed and know better now
That My love for myself is what’s true.
You can’t take care of others
If you’re not taking care of you
Lead by example
Don’t do what others do.
Be the exception
Make your rules matter most
Life for yourself
For God, for Jesus, and the Holy Ghost!

Another chapter of my life is about to begin….

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What a blessing it is to be alive today.  I was so very fortunate to not have any severe health scare to finally “make” me wise up to lose weight.  At my maximum recorded weight I tipped the scales at 367.5 pounds.  I won’t do all the comparisons of weight but that’s a lot of sticks of butter!  It’s also about 45 gallons of milk!  Wow!  That brings it into perspective.  I have lost 170 pounds – over 21 gallons of that milk is GONE!! 

So today, here I am two days away from the flying to California for what will surely be a life changing experience.  Since I have lost weight it seems that there are numerous things that I notice, countless events that have altered my life, my views and my beliefs.  I see differently now with an open mind and deep appreciation.  My relationship with God has been increased beyond measure.  My relationship with myself has changed to where I really like ME now.  I am comfortable with who I am and the person that I’ve become.  Excess weight and now excess skin, does not make me the person that I am but has made my attitude and outlook different for sure.  After unsuccessfully attempting to lose weight more times than I can even tally, I have found victory in “Doing it for ME!”  I have put myself first and foremost which I never did before.  It sounds selfish but it’s not.  By focusing on my health – mental, physical and emotional, my value and worth have improved tremendously, in turn, my family is better off because I am obviously more capable to do things with them and have increased my life expectancy by years if not decades.

Monday with my traveling companion, Trish Marshall, we will get to Los Angeles, California and meander to Rancho Mirage to settle into our home away from home for over 2 weeks.  On Tuesday I will have a consultation with Dr. Andrew Ordon.  (If you don’t already know a quick update: I sent my story into The Doctors; they contacted me and after numerous emails, calls, pictures, and details, I appeared on an episode “Skin: Feed It, Fix It, Tuck It” where I was the feature guest on the “Tuck It” segment; I was generously offered his service for corrective surgery to remove excess skin.) Wednesday, July 31, 2013 I will have corrective surgery.  It is corrective, not cosmetic.  The excess skin is as mentally debilitating as the excess weight was physically debilitating. It’s not for vanity but for functionality. 

Today as I was getting dressed I was more aware of my routine, thinking about not having to do this anymore.  I have done this for so long it’s just habit now.  First off when I take a shower my arms flop and sway as I’m washing my hair – that will be “fixed”.  Then I have to lift the excess skin on my stomach to be able to get clean – that will be “fixed” too.  Trivial maybe to others, but it will be life changing for my daily routine and hard to even imagine not having those problems hanging around any longer.  Back to my routine, so you can get an idea of my layers and tucking – hiding of the truth if I dare say.  Panties are an obvious.  They are put on after powdering under my flap/apron of skin.  Next I will put a little powder in my hands and rub my upper arms.  I will then put on what I refer to as my sleeves.  This wonderful invention has changed my life and my self confidence by constricting the excess skin on my arms into a more firm, fit, contoured shape. I will then pull up the bra and adjust my breasts to look as “normal” as I can.  After my arms and breasts are neatly tucked away, I can then step into my waist high girdle.  This is pulled up to meet my bra.  Then I adjust the skin on my stomach and legs of the girdle that go down mid-thigh.  Next I put on a tight fitting tank top and adjust the excess skin under my armpits, on my sides, to be more contoured to not show under clothes with the sides of my bra and the tank.  Finally I can get dressed. Whew…… this is not an easy task but makes me more mentally capable to face the world, if even at home. 

The reality comes back, no matter how I look and my self-confidence level, every time that I have to use the restroom.  I have to tuck, shove and adjust my stomach back into hiding.  At bedtime I am continually reminded of my past as the layers come off one by one.  The truth comes back, maybe not to everyone else but to me.  No one ever warned me of the remnants that would be left after losing a lot of weight.  It’s disheartening to think about all the others out there that are living with the excess skin condition I have, much less if it’s worse than or not as bad as mine.  I know that the girdling is giving me a false self-confidence to get through the day but it has prevented rashes and back pain that I have heard come with the weight of the skin “hanging” around and shaking about during the day. 

I wanted to share my experience as my story, my journey, is an open book.  If my situations can be of assistance, guidance, encouragement or inspiration to others I feel humbled to be the vessel to do so, a way that I can give back and pay it forward.  I completely give God the credit for getting me to this point and beyond.  Truly I am holding on for the ride not knowing where this will take me.  Another chapter of my life is about to begin…. 

What chapter are you on?  Are you living your life for God?  Are you making excuses for not eating right and treating your body like God has intended for us to be able to serve him?  To serve others?  It took me “weigh” too long to figure it out and I am appreciative for the opportunities that have happened and those that are before me.  Don’t “weight” too long to figure out that you control your own weight.  No one else is feeding you.  Only you have the ability to make the changes that are beneficial for your body.  Love yourself.  YOU are Worthy!  I have been, and will continue to be “Doing it for ME!”


I have changed my life

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I’m at the Nashville airport getting ready, well waiting, to start an adventure of a lifetime.  I seem to be quite leased lately with several of those and more yet to be.  It is so very humbling to have all these amazing opportunities for finally learning to care about myself.  The past few months have been incredible and such a blessing to have succeeded to lose almost half of myself.  It’s a joy to try to encourage and inspire others to do the same through different venues, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Now I have a Facebook page where I post my menu, or food journal, for the day.  I have had some good response yet truly hate to have to be absent for this week.  I will Ty my best to stay focused and eat correctly.  In two weeks I’ll be flying out to California for Dr. Ordon to perform surgery to remove excess skin.  I can’t think about it too much.  I have handed it over to God. I have so many other things to be concerned about before I fly, surgery etc. I can’t get too worried or dwell on negative possibilities. I am staying positive and letting God’s plan for me to be revealed daily.
I have changed my life, as only I am capable of doing.  The ”pay-offs” are enough to make me cry in humility.  I wish I cold bottle p self-value and self-worth for all those that are struggling with weight and other addictions.  Only you can change your life.
I am doing it for ME!


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If you haven’t figured this out about me I love to write.  In response, or study about the term being “excused” I wanted to share some thoughts. For those that aren’t familiar with the term - as a member of TOPS when you have to miss a weigh-in/meeting your chart is marked “excused.”  I evaluate and look at things differently now when it comes to weight loss and keeping off pounds sensibly.  Therefore I will share some observations from the side of success that are only intended to bring awareness and thought to my health and yours on the topic of being “excused”.

To be “excused” doesn’t necessarily mean that we are “excused” from being accountable for our actions when it comes to the nutrients which we put in our bodies and the physical level that we choose to participate in.  There are reasons that we make the choices that we make. There are temptations that are put before us daily that sometimes we give in to for whatever the situation.  There are regrets for choices perhaps, but should we be “excused”? NO!
When it comes to our health and well-being there are NO EXCUSES!  There are choices and there are results of those choices.  Consequences for our own actions. No one physically makes us do anything that we don’t want to do, or that we don’t “let” them direct us into doing.
Making the right choices for our bodies is not always an easy thing to do but it is our choices that WE have to live with. There is no “excuse” worth more than MY personal well-being, physically and mentally.  Edgar Guest’s poem Myself is one that I chose to pen in calligraphy in high school.  It says no much.
I have to live with myself, and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know;
I want to be able as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I’ve done.
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don’t want to dress myself up in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in this struggle for fame and pelf,
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to think as I come and go
That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself- and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.
Have a blessed day.  Take care of yourself.  NO EXCUSES!  Only YOU can make the choices for your body.  I am doing it for ME!

YOU have to put YOU first above all

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I hope as you are reading this that you are doing well.  You have come to this site for help, for encouragement, for truth and for guidance towards a healthier life-style.  I pray that my words, my journey and experiences will relate to you somehow that you too can find success in reaching your goals towards a healthier you.

My experience has been lifelong.  Literally, I have been overweight to varying degrees for over 30 years.  A couple of years ago it finally sunk in and I have been dedicating my time and efforts to making my body healthy-inside and out.  Physically I am more capable after losing 170 pounds, without surgical intervention.  Mentally I am in a place that is still new to me.  I have become a person that is more confident,  outgoing and enthusiastic.  I am more positive now and have WORTH.  I suppose I was worthy before but never acknowledges that.  Now I now that I have value, if from no one else, from myself!
What I wanted to share with you is a link to my new Facebook page.  I am posting daily what I am eating. If it turns out good, which most of usually is taste-wise anyways, I will include pictures and even recipes!  This is a great way for me to stay accountable, not just to others that possibly could be enlightened by something that I post, but to myself.  Ultimately, I am who matters.  Does that sound selfish? I guess it does but to find that value in myself has lead me to reach goals, after learning from numerous past attempts. Now I am focused to stay where I need to be within a reasonable range.
YOU have to put YOU first above all.  It took me so very long to figure that out.  I wish I could bottle up the confidence but since I can’t all I can do is try my best to share my experiences with you and give you the hope that your excess pounds can be shed, that you can be healthy, that you can feel better about yourself and that YOU are the only one that can make the changes that possibly need to be made.  No one put food in my mouth-I did.  No one can make me get up and move-only I can. No one can make you feel better about myself- only I can. The drive really does come from within.  You read about it and hear about it but something really does seem to “click”.
I am so very blessed and humbled by what experiences are forthcoming.  As the TOPS TN State Queen, I will be in a parade for the 4th of July!   Then I will be heading to represent TN at the TOPS IRD, International Recognition Days, in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.  I will be going across the stage several times and must be dressed in formals.   It’s pretty neat how friends are able to loan me dresses, etc. for events-that I can wear other people’s clothes.  Upon returning home I will be heading back to California a week later (rescheduled again) to have a consultation with Dr. Ordon on July 30th and the corrective skin removal procedure on the 31st.  God has been carrying me through all of this and I trust that He’s in control.  I am at peace completely. It’s a great feeling.  I didn’t quite expect to build my relationship with God so strong.  Truly when I try to take control things just get all mixed up and go wrong.  Then something seems to happen, like a swift kick in the derrière, to make me jump back up on his shoulders to carry me through everything.
I am doing it for ME!

Get up, brush off and move on!

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No matter what personal issues are going on in my life I seek to find the strength, through fervent prayer, to stay positive and go forward.  Looking back doesn’t do a lot of good mentally and it sure won’t change what history has been made. Get up, brush off and move on!  I have to push through and go on - for me.  I don’t mean to sound selfish but life isn’t easy.  Life hasn’t been full of happiness and butterflies to this point but it’s my choice to find it from this day forward.  No one else can do it for me - but me.  It’s hard to evaluate your life in terms of comparing how you would treat/feed others or even a pet.  Sometimes it’s easier to punish our bodies through bad choices but would we try to instill or force those same habits or actions on another?  Unlikely. 

There have been countless changes in me physically with losing a lot of weight that are visible to the world but on a personal level - wow!  I never used to really look in the mirror because I didn’t like what I saw on the outside, knowing all along there was a valuable worthy person trapped inside.  Now I have been allowed, blessed, given, this amazing opportunity to use my story to try to encourage and help others.  The thing I’m learning now is that it’s not about the physical form as much as it’s been about my personal growth and faith.  If someone doesn’t like the “new” me, that isn’t my problem.  Does it hurt YES!  Does it hurt enough to punish my body with overeating or dwelling on issues? NO!  Giving it ALL to GOD gives me a calm peace that’s quite hard to explain.  I am so appreciative of having been given another day to reach out to you, anyone, that needs some encouragement to fight whatever health condition and life circumstances that you are facing.  We all have a purpose.  We all are here for a reason.  Even when we feel alone we never are.  Reach out and GOD is there to hold your hand, to hear your prayers and pleas, to be a friend when no one else seems to be.

I am a much more confident, viable, worthy person than I thought I was 2 1/2 years ago and previously. Beyond and against some peoples wishes - I have done this for me and will continue to do so, regardless.  The sky is the limit and the best is yet to come.

The PAST is your lesson.

The PRESENT is your gift.

The FUTURE is your motivation.

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