Life is too short…

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I’ve been having a “writer’s block”. A friend suggested that I try to write about not being able to write. That’s an appealing perception that I figured I’d attempt it. I’d not expect it to be my best script. Throughout my weight loss I have written about what got me to where I was in life and existing in the state of morbid obesity and as I went through the process, unknowingly that this time my efforts weren’t going to be in vain.

A bunch has been going on and I haven’t had the urge to “make anything real” by putting it in print. I might have just discovered what the issue is at hand!! Writing about my weight loss experiences and emotions “made it real.” When I put my life and experiences, feelings and thoughts, trials and triumphs, and realizations and understandings into words I am acknowledging, claiming and clarifying my continuation and possess responsibility.

Perhaps as I make mention of what’s been going on and it will help me, while attempting to assist you, the reader in some fashion. I need to have an improved grasp at the circumstances and have objectives about what to do from here. It’s never easy to step up to own and face the facts, so here it goes….
I have gained a few pounds, not too much but more than I want, and I’m not pleased about it. Let’s look at the “why”. There’s no one to blame for your unhappiness, you got yourself into your own mess…. Wilson Phillips Hold On. It’s my “fault” and I know “why”. My motivation? I found success through having the right attitude and outlook – I am Doing it for Me. Lately….I’ve not been putting ME to the front and have tolerated my own actions thus have to suffer the consequences. I’m not quitting or giving up on ME because God never will. He got me this far and I know I need to relinquish the reins back into His hands. What has worked for me is measuring everything, preparing and always having a plan and even a “Plan B,” sometimes a “Plan C or even D.” If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. That’s a great saying oozing with truth.

“How” can I make it better? The smallest yet BIGGEST word in that question is “I”. I am the only one that can make the choices I need to make nutritionally and otherwise. Huge problem – I can’t munch. For me that just is not a good thing and I can get out of hand very quickly, in an instant. I have been praying so much lately for situations yet haven’t kept up with the nourishment of my body and soul. Whose fault is that? Geesh…. I know, I know…… MINE! Alright, I’ve admitted it and claim it. Now? I have to go back to what has worked and what makes my body feel the best. I’ve got lots of eyes watching and following that I don’t want to disappoint yet the pair of eyes I see in the mirror are the ones that really observe what’s going on all the time. I need to up my water intake too. God saves our soul through cleansing our body with water during baptism…. We keep the dwelling of our soul cleansed internally with water…..

I’m not going to go into details publicly about the circumstances of my reality yet if you have read anything to this point about me it’s effortless to figure out. We are all scared of changes. That’s why “letting go” of excess weight is hard, having to rid our bodies, or life, of something that’s been hanging around a while, that we’re used to being there and that we know isn’t healthy for us. Interesting comparison actually…. Change can be a good thing though the steps to the reward aren’t always easy. I have to jump into God’s arms and let Him carry me through this. In Him I trust. Life is too short to not be happy, whatever it is in this time that brings you joy and peace. My ultimate prize is yet to come as I strive for health and happiness here on earth and eternal bliss in Heaven.

I must believe. I am important. I am worthy.

I AM DOING IT FOR ME!

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