Schedule and time is so confusing sometimes. I KNOW that I have to plan but today, and actually the last few days, I have failed myself. I get upset with myself for wasting time when I do not do what I know that I need to do when it comes to what, when, how and I even suppose, why I “over” eat. Thus the belief in the saying “If you fail to plan – you plan to fail!” So true – so very true.
Trying to stay positive in the weight loss game is not always easy. I have to take it one day at a time, one meal at a time. So when I eat “wrong” I over eat things that are on my eating plan – twice, three times and probably sometimes more than that too much. Why, oh why, do I allow myself to do that??? I don’t understand it. I have come so very far from where I was at 367.5 pounds. I refuse to return. I have gotten down right tired of being so precise and measuring everything. I know that it works for my body and that I am trying to find excuses to justify my lapse in judgement. I know that it was me, and only me, that put that extra few bites of cheese in my mouth, that put that extra heaping spoonful of freshly ground peanut butter in between my lips and that it is my fault, and mine alone, for the mental anguish that comes afterwards from losing control and giving into to flavor, convenience and temptations, not to mention the consequence on the scales and the effect on my body. GRRRrrrr!
So where do I go from here? Well there’s another meal coming up…. I have recently given into the concept of “I already messed up today”. Really?! What in the heck is up with that? I cannot do that. That is in no way going to get the results that I want. One meal at a time is going to have to be the focus and planning ahead. I cannot beat myself up about it too hard though. I must stay focused and be triumphant through each and every meal. I can do this. I can lose the last few pounds that I need to lose. I have to. I want to be where I need to be ASAP! Geesh! No one stands in my way but me. Get out of the way! Regain control over that old person with bad habits that resides within me and be triumphant! I am going to do this. I have to keep reminding myself – out loud a lot of times – that “I am doing it for ME!”