Posted by gum232 on September 12th, 2012 |Filed Under ME | 1 Comment
Well…. Here I am in despair. I have been struggling lately- BAD. So much is going on in life between family, kids and work that I have let myself be put last, as in the past. UGH! I know this and am aware of it, yet have given in to temptations and circumstance. I know better, I really do but it’s so hard. I feel great. I think I look so much better than before and am complimented often. I really haven’t lost any more weight since about April. I’m still in the same clothes and enjoying my new figure and health.
But what am I going to do? I have got to get back on track. I know this. It’s so hard when you are pulled in numerous directions and about to your mental and physical limits. Excuses! GRRrrrr! I am responsible for ME! No one can do this but ME! I have come to far to stop and give up on ME! I am doing it for ME! Trying to talk this through and figure it out….
Yesterday was a very disappointing day on the scales with a gain of several pounds. I did it. I have to claim it because no one did it to ME but ME. Maybe this will be the smack in the face that I need to go forward and get the rest of this weight off of ME. Maybe? Hmmmm? I guess that sounds doubtful still though doesn’t it? I have got to be in control. I have got to be prepared for each day. That’s one thing I’ve done lately is eating out too much. Talk about being out of control?! You have no clue what is put on your food, how it’s prepared or even precisely the portion that you are consuming, or really what you’re putting into your body.
My nemesis is fresh ground peanut butter. Whew…. Going to Whole Foods Market is such an amazing adventure-filled with samples, fascination and, again, SAMPLES. Ugh! But YUM! Lol! I can’t be perfect -I know. I’ve got to splurge sometimes but that peanut butter, freshly ground and warm out of the machine is about my favorite thing to eat. I love the osistancy, the flavor nd generally it is nutritous. I can have it but just have to be in control and not overdo it. I think I could literally lean under the machine, open my mouth, and push the start button. Nuts are good for you:)! Just not a cup of it ground up in a day. Control is the key but I think I swallowed that too! The key that is. Oh well. No reason to dwell and regret because it can’t be changed. Moving forward. Day two now after I have come back to my senses, I hope. Is it too much to ask for prayers for strength? Any prayers would be appreciated.
I know I’m not perfect by any means, I am only human. I will make mistakes when it comes to my eating program and choices. I have been quite strict on myself to lose the weight I’ve lost to this point. Now to get to goal…. I have got to do this. I am worth it. I am doing it for ME!