I have really been in a mood to share lately and actually want to take the time to do it. Life just really ties us down sometimes and it’s hard to put ourselves first. It’s not an easy thing to do by any means. Well I wanted to tell about a new revelation that has occured in this weight loss passage. I was in a store last week and saw someone that I knew years ago. I thought for a moment and it passed my mind to say something but I decided against it. It was then that I realized that I am kind of incognito, you know, like going out in public in a disguise-so no one will know who you are. Wow! That’s one of those things, dare we say a “power”, kind of like a superhero, that can be used for good or “evil”?! Hehehe…. If I’m in a situation that I don’t want to recognized I can simply let a person stroll on by, or I can talk and them get the freak out reaction which once included my having to take my phone out and showing a picture of the me I used to be.
You’ve probably seen movies, telvision shows, reports on how someone is treated different by their weight. They always show a normal/skinny person in a “fat suit”. People look and judge. Everyone has an opinion and speculations of others’ problems and Lord forbid you eat in public for the ridicule and statements people are so rude and immature to say or suggest. You never get the reaction of how people treat, and judge, a person who was overweight but now isn’t. Yep! It’s like I magically put on a”skinny suit”! I do get treated different because of my outlook now and being more outgoing. It’s interesting as well that it is totally my choice if I tell new acquaintances who, or how, I used to be. Does it really matter? I don’t think so because either way I am still ME! Having fun in my “skinny suit” as a healthier Heather for sure. Now I’m thinking from different perspectives - did I put on the skinny suit or take off the fat suit. It’s kind of like Peter Pan’s shadow…. One is still kind of attached to the other in a way. If you look at the shadow on the ground what does it show? I tend to look at my shadow now, like how I didn’t really acknowledge the reflection in the mirror, I didn’t pay much attention to the shadow following me around no matter where I went.
It is important that I can share my story and let people know that if they have a considerable amount of weight to lose that it can be done. It can be done without surgery (unless necessary). It can be done while still eating healthy foods and quite a bit too, of the right things. Perhaps that is why I was overweight so very long - to go through this long drawn out process through numerous attempts and failures, to finally figure out what to feed my body and mostly that I am worth the effort, and to let you know that you are too!
Can’t wait to get on the plane in a week!! OMG! We’ll be in the air literally a week from now but I’m already living on Cloud #9 DOING IT FOR ME!!
I know! I know! I get asked quite often by many people as to what I eat. Typically it’s the same general stuff that is easy and tasty. I make up my own recipes based on what I have available usually. I eat pretty much whole foods consisting of fresh or frozen vegetables and some fruit along with white meats - usually turkey or chicken breast, albacore tuna, rarely pork loin, and a real treat is a lean steak.
Tonight’s menu (for me-family has a function at which they’ll eat a bunch of stuff I would never consider eating again) will consist of the following that was prepared last night. Yep, leftovers for me, but prepared!!
Italian veggies: zuchinni, squash, brocoli, cauliflower and peppers cut, seasoned with a packet of dry Italian dressing seasoning cooked.
Turkey burger: (this time) ground turkey breast mixed with a little soy powder, an egg, and Bragg’s amino acids placed in skillet as patties, sprinkled with dry ranch powder and lightly dusted with non-processed (raw) sea salt.
Homemade tortillas: (my new biggest kick!!) This changes up depending on mood but I will throw in a bunch of flours, etc.. Some corn flour, soy flour, sesame seeds, quinoa flakes or flour, whole wheat flour, etc. I keep a container mixed so I just have to grab some mix and use desired amount for fresh off the griddle tortillas. I use a couple of spoons at a time in a coffee cup and combine with some water to make a pretty thick batter, almost dry, about a 2:1 ratio. Place a ball in between a plastic bag with edges cut off and press in a tortilla press, with rolling pin, skillet or whatever you have. Place on a hot non-stick griddle and cook till desired crispiness. Variations: I have mixed in parmesean cheese with garlic, cheddar, rosemary, basil, and other spices. One of my favorites is a little sugar substitute (use your favorite) and cinnamon!! Eat plain or use some butter spray or Walden Farms Pancake syrup (another must have in the fridge!). Like I said, I’ve gone crazy experimenting. All have been yummy.
Yep! Officially hungry now.
Please let me know if you try to make some tortillas and what other nutritious or delicious combinations that you like.
Besides sharing my supper plans, life is going well. Staying focused and back on track. I wasn’t to happy to go home last night to cupcakes in the oven but I survived. Some stuff I do take a bite of and spit it out but a cupcake wasn’t even worth that! Yeah… gotta say that life has changed for sure. My next “big” goal for myself is to lose 184 pounds which will be half of where I started. I’ve gone through milestones of “losing” my youngest daughter, my oldest daughter, numerous friends, and almost my husband, just a few pounds away. Won’t that be just CRAZY to say that I have lost myself? I will actually be half the person that I used to be! Whew…. Hard concept to accept but thankful for sure. I am finally doing it!! I’m doing it for me:).
My deepest apologies to those who might be following me for not having posted in a while. Life has been overwhelmingly BUSY. It has been a very full last couple of months with work, kids and family. Guess what that means though?? I’ve not been putting myself first at all thus the weight loss has idled within about a five pound range. In all actuality I cannot complain about the weight. My concern, not trying to be selfish, is that I have let myself be pushed to the back as I have done for years. Soooo….. now I’ve got to get back on track and think about ME. Speed bump…. over it!
So here I go again…..
I’m about 30 pounds or so from where I need to be. Not sure how far my body will let me go down. Someone actually called me “skinny” the other day!!! Hehehe:) That’s not a familiar term. It’s still really hard to visualize what others see but it doesn’t really matter. What matters to ME is how I feel about ME! I feel exhausted from a crazy schedule. I feel like a pinball in a pinball machine - being bounced around, fall into a hole for second to catch my breath to only be shot back out in a hurry to be bounced around some more!! Wow - that is actually a pretty good comparison. We could even go on to say how the flippers are maybe our job and family that give us a huge whack to get back out there again to! LOL! Of course now I wanna go to the arcade….. haven’t done that in years. The little extra flippers could be our personal struggles such as weigh loss, habits, etc. with all the bells and whistles going off all around you with the occassional TILT!
I feel disappointed that I let it get to me and have not focused solely on my healthstyle. I do not eat anything that I would not eat: fried, canned, boxed, prepared, etc. but I have eaten perhaps a bigger portion that I have grown accustomed to feeding my body. I have acknowledged that and had a good talking to with myself. Self-talk is a wonderful thing, REALLY. It’s kinda weird but I do quote myself from “The Reflection” that I wrote and posted a while back. If the food didn’t help to get you where you were, it’s not going to help to get you where you prefer.” I don’t know about you but that is such a deep statement. It has been difficult to walk into MRC (Metabolic Research Center) knowing that I have not been treating my body the way that it needs to be treated nutritionally.
I am excited to say that my family and I are going to attend the TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) International Recognition Days in San Diego, Ca next month. Maybe I can help inspire someone as well as being inspired myself to get to my goal. San Diego??? Really? WOW! I can’t believe we’re going to fly out to California. Hey, by the way, I’m going on a plane! I should be able to fit in a sit in comfort and without having to pay anything extra. What a great time we should have for an amazing family trip. You know that one of the places that we have to go is the zoo!! I don’t think I’ll have any problem with mobility of getting around, much less sweating. Okay, I know, eeew and yuck, but my sweat factor has changed drastically with having lost almost 170 pounds. Bring on the heat. It feels good to me now.
Clothes are fun to shop for too. It has been only a section in the store that I never could go before, but now… I can shop in the misses department! It’s an amazing feeling to hold up a medium or large to try on and actually have them fit!! Thank goodness for girdles. (The skin factor is a whole other topic, ugh.) I have found some great items at thrift stores and yard sales too. I’m kind of in style now. Someone asked me a while back what I see when I look in the mirror. Well, considering that I really kind of ignored what I saw in the mirror before I’m seeing maybe now, I think, what my mind always thought I was seeing if that makes any sense. So far I don’t see myself as the way I was.
Last thought for the day…. As you go through the weight loss process you experience many types of responses. Since I’ve lost so much sometimes people don’t know me and I have to literally stop them and even say my name. Then I explain what I’ve done, fortunately, wtihout surgery. Most people, acquaintances, typically freak out, hug me, say numerous compliments and praise me. Yesterday was the first encounter with a new reaction… resentment?? There was a look of shock then the remark “you must’ve had that surgery.” I tried to gingerly explain without trying to boast. The matter wasn’t helped by someone over-hearing and approaching me with questions, which I am always more than glad to answer. I don’t want to be intimidating to anyone and it bothered me. Success shouldn’t make you feel bad but sometimes I feel awkward now that I have surpassed some personal friends/acquaintances. It’s a decision that each person can only make for themselves unless someone physically feeds you. I am going to finish what I started this time. I’m going to get to where my body needs to be to be healthy and to be able to live for many more years in a state that I can enjoy. My life is truly just beginning in this new found figure. My family and friends will, and are able to, reap the benefits of my improved physical, emotional and mental condition but I still have to say that I’m doing it for me!
I am the only me there’s ever going to be. I only have one chance at this life and have wasted too many years in a condition that held me back.
The sky is the limit!