OMG! I have amazed myself!

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For the last few weeks, as we’ve been planning on what to make for who, I knew the day was drawing near…. to make popcorn.  The last time I ate popcorn was February 13, 2011, the evening before I started my program, finsihing off the container.  Keep in mind when I say popping popcorn that I mean from scratch.  I have a Whirley Pop that you cook with on the stove turning and popping while being able to use a minimal amount of oil.  I used to pop and eat a whole kettle full while being lazy in front of the television.  At the movies I thought it was a given that you’re supposed to get it with extra butter.  Sorry, back on track, so I knew that I was going to make my popcorn for gifting for teachers, co-workers, etc. Could I do it? Could I pop it and not eat any? Could I withstand the smell? The Crunch? The saltiness?

I purchased the popcorn kernals, a 2 pound bag, and some oil about a week ago, leaving it on the counter.  I figured if I could see it that I would build up a “resistance” against it. I had to psych myself up to the challenge. Today, while everyone was gone - I faced my nemesis!  I had all the ingredients out, bowls, bags, everything set up.  I opened the bag. Turned the stove on and poured in the oil.  I measured the corn and heard that wonderful sound of kernals hitting the bottom of the pan.  What a beautiful sound:).  I popped a few batches plain then started the kettle corn………

OMG! I have amazed myself!  I had to test the flavor so I literally got a piece of popcorn and walked it over to the trash can where I commenced to taste and chew the popcorn to subsequently spit it all out.  It tasted okay but now I do understand the saying - nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.  I’m not quite to the skinny part, but I’m not wasting what I’ve worked so very hard to do at this point. 

Realization: the one “trigger” food that I felt that I couldn’t just wait to have ever again, I don’t “need” anymore.  I have defeated the popcorn!  Not that it ever did anything against me - but I really did do some damage to my body by consuming the quantity that I did on a fairly regular basis.  I know that now.  I forgive myself.  There’s nothing I can change from the past - I must move forward. 

Mentally I am in this to win!  I am at 140 pounds lost!  Was hoping to hit 150 pounds lost by the end of the year but don’t know how that’s going to go.  Keeping on track through MANY obstacles this holiday season.  I’m still trying and staying on my program.  About 60 pounds to go…..

I can do this! 

I am doing this for me!

 

I volunteer to be the face of the once obese people!

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Keeping on keeping on……..

Nearly 10 months I’ve been on this journey, through a passage with many revelations and triumphs, to aspire to hit a goal by the end of the year. I’m on the verge of making it to 140 pounds lost, thus desiring to reach that 150 pounds lost mark by the end of the year. Maybe I can do it.  We’ll see how my focus goes over the next couple of weeks.  I think after months of living a healthy eating life-style that I am capable of surviving parties, gatherings, etc.  I really have not gone off my program.  It’s a bit scary to think what would happen if I did.  I’m sure there’d be a huge gain on the scales, not to mention the belly ache and guilt.  About 65 more pounds to go!!  Heck I’ve already lost twice that much!  Wow! That’s pretty crazy to stop and mentally digest.

My most recent revelation

I have a new goal and maybe someone can help me figure out a game plan, method, or even give me names, etc. to contact.  After calling our insurance company, I found out that nothing is covered – “anything related to obesity is exempt”. Thus meaning, that all these years of having my skin stretched out, which is now, uh, not so pretty and only getting worse, will just be there.  Insurance doesn’t cover anything reconstructive for extreme weight loss.  GRRRRRrrrrr!  Really?! I got off of blood pressure medicine, other meds years ago, and am in darn good health now and improving daily.  CONCLUSION: Insurance companies (at least ours) are in business to keep you sick!  If you are healthy, well, you’re on your own. The nation is in an epidemic of obesity and numerous health related conditions.  There should be some kind of benefit to cover procedures to remove excess skin.  There should be many stipulations and guidelines that must be met/followed to qualify, but every insurance company should pay out for this cause. 

Example guidelines:

1) Must lose “x” % of BMI (not just a tummy tuck for losing 30 pounds) {mine has gone from over 58 to around 37}

2) Be at “x” BMI for a year after goal is met, doesn’t matter what kind of method is used to lose weight whether surgical procedure, health-style change, etc.  {not met goal yet – but will, and this needs to be in order by the time I qualify!}

3) Have been under doctor care for duration of loss {my doctor is ecstatic! Very supportive and proudJ}

4) Been seen by a psychiatrist, been in a support group, followed a program, etc.  {I attend a TOPS chapter weekly and go to MRC twice/week}

5) Retroactive - applies to anyone that has done such up to 5-10(?) years ago as long as previous guidelines were met {want anyone who has accomplished a huge weight loss to be eligible}

Okay, I’m sure there’d be a lot of people on board with this idea but who do we talk to and how do we approach it?  Congressmen? Representatives? President?? You would think that the drug companies would be behind it as well, but not sure about that?  Any ideas and hints would be helpful.  I’m ready to speak and go forward.  I volunteer to be the face of the once obese people!  Don’t know really how that’d work but I’ll put myself out there for the sake of myself and others.  Someone has to be willing to do it.

Back to a personal note, I have realized what I have done to my body and wrote it a letter the other day.  I thought I’d share it with you. 

Dear Body,

I deeply apologize for all the unhealthy, unwise, and downright stupid choices that I made in the past few decades. Please forgive me.  I look forward to building an even healthier relationship with you today, tomorrow and for years/decades, to come.

Sincerely,

Heather

AKA “The hand that feeds you”

Thank you for encouraging me and hopefully you are encouraged by me as well. Together we can help each other reach our goals.

I AM DOING IT FOR ME!

 

P.S. Lunch:

5 ounces of baby spinach, 3 ounces of diced celery, ½ large apple diced, with 6 ounces of curried turkey mini-burgers.  YUM!