Humbling experience of success

Posted by gum232 on August 17th, 2011 |Filed Under ME |

I apologize for my hiatus for a month.  I do however have great news but you know I have to build the suspension to keep you reading?!?! Well I started the rest of my life on February 14th and here it is 6 months later.  I have had some ups and downs but most of all I have kept with it whole-heartedly.  There have been experiences, or things that have happened that have touched me deeply as well as a mass amount of self examination that has helped my attitude about myself, built my self-worth and grown my pride. 

To recap some highlights or thoughts/sayings:

I am doing it for me!

I am feeding my body.

Get rid of clothes that you shrink out of – don’t go back.

Be an example to those around you and stay in control.

Odds are 50% if you try and 100% if you don’t!

My youngest child can wrap her arms completely around me and lapped over now!!

I’ve learned to take compliments and smile. 

I’m trying to be positive and not look at the long term goal but keep focused on daily & weekly accomplishments. 

The booths at restaurants aren’t quite so tight, and actually roomy, now.

Okay, okay the list could go on and on. I know I still haven’t told you yet…patience….

It was interesting taking my youngest into school where I am known well as the Chair of the PTO.  There were a dozen or more that hadn’t seen me and they went crazy! Crazy I tell ya!  Man I felt like I was on public display.  It was overwhelming somewhat, almost to the point of embarrassment.  I did my best to smile and say thank you to everyone’s kindness yet it was exhausting at the same time – emotionally.  I had not thought about it in a way a friend mentioned when she had lost considerable weight.  She said it upset her because she didn’t realize everyone thought that she was big.  I don’t know if anyone ever sees themselves in the view that the world sees us.  I told her that I never really used to look in a mirror.  Now I am learning to see the reflection and be the reflection.

Well, the biggest thing that has happened to me, to really make me stop and realize my success thus far, came from a complete stranger.  I pulled around at a feed supply in my car and backed up to the dock.  As I was going around checking the trunk a man came out and I told him I didn’t have my ticket yet, that I needed to go in and pay.  There’s a ramp besides the building that I was going to use when he reached his hand out to me.  “Here ya go!.” I told him “Nah, that’s ok.” He insisted and reaching his hand again a little further said “Come on, I got you.” At that point I did. The thoughts running through my head in that instant…… I told myself STOP. You can do this.  You got it.  Keeping in mind that this dock is a good two foot high or better, I took the stranger’s hand.  The possibilities of what could’ve happened did not happen!  I did it!  HE did it!  You know by now, I’m a deeper meaning kind of person.  For all the footprints that have not been my own, this truly did feel like a hand of God-reaching out to help, accepting me as I am, for me to put my faith in and ultimately for the salvation of ME!  Did my business, yada, yada, yada… and sat down in the car.  Upon a moment of replaying the situation at hand (hehe-couldn’t resist!) I looked over at my daughter and said “100 pounds ago that never would have happened.”  How truly appreciative I am of that stranger’s hand for the humbling experience of success.

So there you have it…I surpassed the 100 pound mark!  I have lost roughly 5 sizes, depending on make.  I do look better.  I like and am seeing the reflection.  I feel better, partially I think because of no preservatives or chemicals in my body. I’m not there yet.  I know it’s going to be even harder now.  I could lose another hundred but we’ll have to see where my body puts on the brakes. 

I hope you are doing well in your experience.  I am not going to give up on myself and I don’t want you to quit either, or I want you to start becoming healthier with the realization that you need to, if that is the case.  I AM DOING IT FOR ME!  It’s the only me there’s gonna be.  Feel free to respond or ask me anything.  Till next time….

 


Comments

2 Comments so far

  1. dagnykight on August 20, 2011 8:38 am

    Hurray I finally got the login to work!

    I have read your whole blog and your message is truly a POWERFUL TOOL that many people should try to learn from!

    A few posts back you made a comment on weight loss surgery that it has an 85% failure rate after five years. WRONG!!! The surgery does NOT fail, the PEOPLE fail!! I am six years out from surgery and have maintained my full weight loss of 170lbs. As I look at the WLS community I see so much failure…so many complaints and EXCUSES!!!

    From what I have observed in that community, here’s what you are doing RIGHT that many others can learn from!!

    You are completely focused on getting the job done RIGHT NOW! Here in your blog you touched on the past so briefly but you took responsibility for YOURSELF. No excuses, no blaming somebody or something else. The past is over and done, you have your work to do TODAY and YOU ARE DOING IT!!! Many people try to find “reasons” why they are overweight and say they can’t make the right choices for themselves until they “fix what is broken” about them. You have left the past behind and you are GETTING THE JOB DONE TODAY!!!

    You acknowledged that you are a beautiful person of value and worth! You DESERVE the many benefits you are earning for yourself with every passing day of positive choices!!

    You are DOING IT FOR YOURSELF!! So many people say they do it for their children, for their spouse, to make other people proud, to be there for other people, to do things for other people, to be attractive for other people, etc. But to be truly successful, you have to be focused on YOURSELF and have your own reasons that you will be able to focus on in your mind each and every day. After you do that, you will be able to be there for those other people but you have to take care of YOU first!

    You have embraced this as a LIFESTYLE. There’s no doubt in my mind that you have already altered your perspectives on food such that when you reach your ideal weight, you will not regain. It’s clear you don’t see yourself “on a diet” that you will later go off of. You have focused on HOW TO FEED YOUR BODY CORRECTLY and you’ll keep doing it! The simple act of saying “I feed my body” and “I do not feed my body” is actually VERY powerful! This is where many WLS people fail!! They have not reprogrammed their minds with new perspectives on food and they fall back into old patterns and habits, usually blaming something from their past that they say is unresolved.

    I read this blog and I see so much resolve and focus in you, I don’t see you falling back into the past! There’s no doubt in my mind that five years from now you WILL be a statistic—the rare kind!! The very small percentage of people, surgery and otherwise, who lose more than 100lbs and keep it off for five years and beyond!

    This blog contains VERY POWERFUL TOOLS. I urge anyone who is reading it to LEARN FROM IT!!!

  2. gum232 on August 20, 2011 2:58 pm

    Thank you Dagny. I love to write. It is a passion. It is a blessing to be able to combine my talents with a stuggle to turn it into something worthwhile to others. I have reread and meditated on our past emails and you are quite the inspiration yourself!

    I saw a girl the other day that had started program, at a heavier weight than my starting weight. People had told her about me and by chance (fate) I was able to meet her. I had to hug her. She teared up, especially when she saw my before picture. To be an inspiration to someone who is in need, with a stuggle you have experienced and are fighting to overcome, is truly priceless. All of my contact information was given to her. I await her call, or will call her one day next week.

    Even better!! A man I have known for years is literally twice the man he used to be. It doesn’t make him the person he is, but he has gotten on program now. I am very pleased with his decision and glad that I could encourage him to have the desire and love for himself to make his live healthier. Will be praying for both of them.

    Now I want to start a group, just for us! A group focused on those that have lost, or is the process of losing 100 pounds or more. We can help each other and reach our goals “Super size support!” Cute catchy name.

    P.S. Daughter’s birthday party today…. stuck with my menu with no regrets or urges. Well, then again those Reese’s Pieces, well, as good as my memory says they tasted, I defeated those little suckers! My body doesn’t need them and can live without them.

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