A fine line between “focused” and “obsessed”

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WOW!  That 50 pound mark is just around the corner.  I am so excited.  I think at this point that there’s a fine line between “focused” and “obsessed”.  I am in the weight loss/get healthy mode.  You know when you get in the mood to clean your house and you have to just run with it?  You don’t want any interuptions.  You have to get it finished.  I have to do this.  I am on a roll and have to keep going to get it done. Rolls?  Mmmmmm….. Hot, fresh, yeasty, buttery….. oh, sorry… where was I?  Thusfar I have those little distractions of things that taste so good but NO I AM NOT giving in to temptation.  I am focused.  Or am I obsessed?  I don’t think people that don’t, haven’t, or won’t diet, have any clue about how the awareness of food that you consume becomes the entire focus of your existance on any specific eating program. The planning that is involved in maintaining the right groceries in the house is sometimes overwhelming.  It doesn’t take long at the market at all now.  I’ve heard it for how years but now I am shopping the perimeter of the store.  I only buy fresh fruits, vegetables, cheese and lean meats.  The only things I purchase “within” are salt-free spices, canned albacore (in water of course), canned chicken occassionally and high protein, low carbohydrate flatbreads or tortillas.  It’s kind of hard to make a sandwich with one slice of high fiber low calorie bread so I use one half of a flatbread typically.  Oh, and they’re great too with some cinnamon, artificial sweetener and a little butter spray.  That’s usually my “sweet” fix for the day.  I don’t think, at this point, that I will ever eat anything prepared - canned products, packs of mixes, frozen dishes, etc. just to maintain control and know what’s going in my body. 

Something I read years ago was do not to eat anything packaged that has more than 5 ingredients listed.  Boy if you go to the store and look in the isles all I have to say is good luck!  Spice blends don’t count in my book!  They add flavor and zest. 

Anyways, back to some definitions and comparisons.  After you read them you’ll agree I’m sure- fine line between them.

Definition of focus: a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity.

Definition of obsessed: the state of being obsessed (obsession) the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent ideas, image, desire, etc.

Hmmmm….  That sums it up doesn’t it?  A very fine line indeed.  I am trying to not let it all overwhelm and consume my life but instead make it a lifestyle change.  I am eating healthier and feeding my body what it needs.  Hopefully I’m keeping a lot of chemicals out of my body too-preservatives, etc.  Either way, if you consider me focused or obsessed, I, well, don’t care.  I am doing this for me.  I am making this body healthy in the long run FOR the long run!  I only have one life and I don’t want to spend it trapped inside this removable “fat suit” if I don’t have to. 

It’s all a process.  Learning what to eat with what and when, How to shop, best choices to make, variety and how to love myself.  I am worth the effort.  For years everyone else has been put first.  You’ve heard the analogy about if your plane’s air bags drop - you take care of yourself first right?  If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t have the ability to help those that need you.  All these little thoughts and stories are finally making so much sense.  In the long run I will be a better person physically, mentally and emotionally.  I’m already a great person so man I can hardly wait to see how much better I can possibly be!!

I AM DOING IT FOR ME!!

Guess what I found??

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Well first off let me tell you about my progress through this passage.  As of Thursday I have officially become a magician and made40 pounds disappear!!! So far my mind set has been firm and I’m holding strong towards better eating practices and am striving towards the vanishing of the next 10 pounds.  Determination (to the tune of Carly Simon’s Anticipation) is playing in my head. Hmm……. maybe I’ll rewrite those lyrics to go with my situation and the numerous other souls that are searching for a new body.

I am proud of myself.  Not trying to boast or anything but I have had a couple hurdles this week that I have surmounted. I attended a meeting at a cafeteria style restuarant to which I packed and took my own food.  They even heated it up for me.  Then long story short, a friend will occassionally have a slumber party of adult females where there is a creative theme.  Last night, as I am sitting on the couch between two ladies, reading through a script of a play my friend and another woman wrote, I discovered something. Guess what I found? My lap!  What?  Yep!  Seriously.  First off I was in a pair of jeans 2/3 sizes smaller - already - and I noticed all this extra space.  The return of the lap!  There were about 20 women all over the room in chairs and on the floor.  One woman had to be, maybe, 100 pounds soakng wet.  Unless I was maybe 3 and can’t remember, I do not have the recollection of ever being able to sit with my knees hugged to my chest.  You know what I’m talking about right?  Instead of having that anger towards seeing that, as in the past, it was actually a positive view of something else that I will be able to do.  Eventually I will get there!  Can’t wait to kiss my knees!

My energy level has increased and I’m attempting to do more and more every day.  (Today was sleep after staying up late.) Move, move, move.  I saw a friend a few days ago that is on maintenance after exceeding her weight loss goal.  She was sooooo fidgety!  Ironically, at a weight loss support group that I attend, there was an article read about a study that said you can fidget 500 calories away a day!  Something to consider…… Rock your feet, your legs, tap your fingers and move.

Eat healthy, until next time……