Groundhog Day

I was at a locker at the Y today that was across the hall from one of the class studios. And some class with weights was going on, maybe body sculpt or something. I don’t know. I don’t pay much attention to classes because I tend to be more comfortable just exercising on my own. But this class looked good and I thought maybe I could force myself to step out of my comfort zone and try it someday. Then I heard the voice. OMG, the voice. Does anybody really like that? All of the “woo hoo! YEAH! You got it! Work it! Oh yeah!!”?? I would go NUTS!!! I clearly am not the class type. Oh well.

• breakfast - one serving of raisin bran
• lunch - leftover pasta/sundried tomato pesto from last night and a cup of mixed berries
• dinner - not sure yet pork tenderloin, whole wheat couscous, brussels sprouts and MORE BERRIES.
• 30 minutes elliptical
• 30 minutes bike
• 3 miles walking (no running today- too tired)

Thinking about getting back in the pool soon. Plan is to take it slow and not expect rapid progress. As comfortable as i have always been with the water, you would think that swimming laps would be easier. But I struggle so much with the breathing. So while I am comfortable in the water, I am not yet comfortable with the pattern of breathing that I need. I love being in the water, so I just need to relax and do what I can. I will have to either alternate swimming with the walking/running or with some of the other cardio. It will be good to mix in some pool time because the same routine daily will get boring.

I saw this lady at the Y today who I saw regularly last year. She comes, she kicks butt, she leaves. So I was thinking about that. That is the part of exercise that I can’t quite accept. I can’t deal with the thought of the same routine over and over…day after day after day after day. That is why i am back where I am now. With exercise, I tend to prove to myself that I can do something and then I just stop. And the reason is that I am motivated by the chase. The concept of long term maintenance of physical fitness is huge and overwhelming to me because I am still trying to find the source of motivation that that would require. I am fine for now because I am working towards something. But after that lies the hardest part. I think Valerie Bertenelli’s new book may address that, but somehow I just don’t think it is something I can read in a book and adopt it. I have to find what works for me and I have no clue right now.

I mean, when I do get fired up it is by kicking my own butt and proving to myself that I can do something. Somehow, I need to find the excitement of simply maintaining. But that is just not exactly the kind of thing that motivates you to put the running shoes on.

• Breakfast - fiber one. Not currently measuring, just trying not to be stupid.
• lunch - random diet frozen meal and a cup of mixed berries
• dinner  will be salad, whole wheat pasta with Cooking Light’s sundried tomato pesto, and bread.
• 30 minutes elliptical
• 30 minutes exercise bike
• 3 mile walk/run and by walk/run, I mean mostly walking with as much running as I could deal with which is not much right now BUT I finished those 45 laps at the track at the Y because I told bigprof that was my plan for working back up to running 5k, so the accountability factor of being back here is already kicking in! Thanks bigprof!

I should know by now…beware of the big gray crayon. When I see monochromatic outfits, I always think of walking crayons. So anyway, I have big frumpy gray pants and a superbig frumpy gray tshirt. When I find myself drawn to these clothes to wear around the house, I should know that I have a problem. I have worn my big gray crayon way too much lately. It facilitates my denial of the fat that is gathering around my waist.

Breakfast: cereal with skim milk. My newly developed cereal rule is that it has to have six or more grams of fiber per serving. Cereal is just so processed and sugary and it would be better to eat something else, but at least if I am getting some fiber it is worth something. Right now, the choices I have are chocolate shredded mini wheats, some sort of heart smart strawberry shredded oat thingies, and Fiber One something or other.

Lunch was a healthy choice frozen meal and some raspberries. I have succeeded in the past at preparing lunches that did not involve a microwave and too much packaging waste. But I can’t do everything at once, so this is helping me manage while I get back into the groove of things.

Dinner will be a cooking light recipe, Catfish Po’Boys (but I use tilapia) and kale. Maybe some fruit for dessert.

Exercise: 30 minutes elliptical, 30 minutes on the exercise bike and 3 miles on the indoor track (mostly walking, a touch of running). I am currently using the “fat burn” setting on the elliptical and bike. However, it takes NO time for me to reach that heart rate due to not exercising for the past four months or so. I am looking forward to having to work a little harder to get my heart rate up because that will be a good sign of progress. And I am not measuring how much I run vs. walk, but plan to stick with covering 3 miles and hope to gradually run more of it.

I basically need a do-over for 2009 in general. I attempted some great things and accomplished some great things for a few months, but I negated all of that by becoming such a slug in the fall. The good news is that after leaving my job (which I was allergic to, seriously, no joke), I am now wheeze-free. My breathing is about 95% back to normal. Yay!

Somehow, two years after conquering my weight, cholesterol, and blood pressure I am heading right back where I was before. Some of you may have known me from my previous blog “The Last Straw”. That blog took me from 200 pounds to 140 (I saw 139 for one day, but I don’t count that).

Since then, I have gained some weight for a million different reasons (excuses). I know there is no point in the self indulgence that it would be to go into detail about all of that. The fact is that I could stay in denial while some pounds crept back on. But the blood pressure is different. Once again, my body is telling me that it REFUSES to allow me to be sendentary or to eat too much fat and salt. Refuses.

Basically, I don’t have weight loss goals right now. My goal is to adopt a healthy lifestyle long term. And that is obviously my biggest challenge. I do have fitness goals and I do need to get back to eating healthy amounts of healthy foods. And once again, I have medical goals. My doctor just increased my blood pressure medication. I go to great lengths to take as few prescription meds as possible, so when I had to double that med, I knew it was time to end this little hiatus of mine.

For anyone new…I’m 37, married, mom of four. I currently do not work. I enjoy the Y immensely but yet getting back into the habit of going proves to be a challenge for now. I adore Cooking Light. I accomplished my goal of running 5k, but have not run regularly for a long time. I am a swimmer wanna-be but can’t get that whole breathing thing down. And I am forever addicted to sunflower seeds.